I'm Depressed and Thinking About Suicide but...

[PeteJ]

I would consider avoiding your job for right now. If it it's depressing you and you feel sick and that much anxiety from going to work ( for good reason ). Avoid it. You'll miss a few pay. You might need a new job, but hopefully with this decision, you won't need to deal with the ringing for so long. Hopefully it will go away. Look out for yourself and your well being, don't let your family peer pressure you when your gut instinct is telling you otherwise.

The audiologist (who I saw today) is trying to contact my work with a modified hearing protection phones (muffs with aids with sound/music or something - I'm sure you all know what I mean - TRT stuff?). I don't want this. My left ear is painful but not excruciatingly so - it's hard to describe - it's popping and something feels wrong. The low buzzing is still there but now the left ear pain is bothering me. I wish I didn't go to the appointment. But, audiology appointments to assess tinnitus is normal, isn't it? I'm really anxious and depressed. I wouldn't have gone if I knew my left ear would feel like this and I still have that buzzing. I'm not sure if it's worse or not - it was buzzing again this morning as I went to my general physician to ask for a prednisone steroid prescription but he wouldn't give it to me.

What should I do about my left ear pain/discomfort? :-(

 

[GSC]

I'm sorry but I'm so down again. The appointment at the audiologist's was like this: she tried to sell me a $3000 hearing aid and promoted TRT (?). I had my ears cleaned and did a more extensive hearing test. But, I have low volume buzzing but my left ear feels really uncomfortable (painful but not as bad as before). I think she aggravated it? What else can it be? What can I do (now)? I'm so worried that it was made worse or is it just temporary because of the evaluation/tests? Please (be honest but) tell me it's only temporary? I'm crying here. :-( I hate my life...

What kind of tests did she conduct?

 

[GSC]

The audiologist (who I saw today) is trying to contact my work with a modified hearing protection phones (muffs with aids with sound/music or something - I'm sure you all know what I mean - TRT stuff?). I don't want this. My left ear is painful but not excruciatingly so - it's hard to describe - it's popping and something feels wrong. The low buzzing is still there but now the left ear pain is bothering me. I wish I didn't go to the appointment. But, audiology appointments to assess tinnitus is normal, isn't it? I'm really anxious and depressed. I wouldn't have gone if I knew my left ear would feel like this and I still have that buzzing. I'm not sure if it's worse or not - it was buzzing again this morning as I went to my general physician to ask for a prednisone steroid prescription but he wouldn't give it to me.

What should I do about my left ear pain/discomfort? :-(

So she made your ear painful and possibly irritated or inflamed it? Call your GP and tell them about the outcome of your audiologist apt and tell them you want to take the risk, because you think the audiologist mucked something up. I don't know what your audiologist did. I hope she just did the audiotest. But now that your ear is bothering you, do not touch it, do not clean it. Do not mess with it. try and call your gp and inform them what happened and stay away from loud noise for the time being.

Oo.. she cleaned your ears. Why would she do that if you were already dealing with ear issues. How did your audiogram come out as?

 

[PeteJ]

What kind of tests did she conduct?

Cleared out earwax and some audiology test in which I sit in a closed off booth and say 'yes' when I hear a tone. Afterwards, I sat at a station in which I was wearing 'hear aids' - I assume this was the test to evaluate the nature of the hearing aids - what pitch/frequency etc. to make it or something? I am not sure what it's called - maybe an audiogram? I'm not sure what the 2nd test is called. I was wearing a hearing aid and determining which tones/static was louder or softer than the buzzing.

 

[PeteJ]

So she made your ear painful and possibly irritated or inflamed it? Call your GP and tell them about the outcome of your audiologist apt and tell them you want to take the risk, because you think the audiologist mucked something up. I don't know what your audiologist did. I hope she just did the audiotest. But now that your ear is bothering you, do not touch it, do not clean it. Do not mess with it. try and call your gp and inform them what happened and stay away from loud noise for the time being.

Oo.. she cleaned your ears. Why would she do that if you were already dealing with ear issues. How did your audiogram come out as?

I'm going to call now. Well, I did have a lot of ear wax in the right ear. I just assumed that it was done for the subsequent hearing test.

 

[GSC]

I'm going to call now. Well, I did have a lot of ear wax in the right ear. I just assumed that it was done for the subsequent hearing test.

Well. As long as it was safely conducted, I would hope it's going to be okay. As long as there wasn't a spike in your ear ringing and it didn't get louder, I think it'll be good? I don't know for certain though. I just know I wouldn't gamble with touching my ears drum at all within the first month or so. Acoustic trauma from what I read takes six weeks to heal sensitivity wise.

 

[PeteJ]

My doctor's office won't let the dr see me because I was already there this morning (when I asked for a steroid prescription). I'm not making this up! :-(

 

[PeteJ]

Well. As long as it was safely conducted, I would hope it's going to be okay. As long as there wasn't a spike in your ear ringing and it didn't get louder, I think it'll be good? I don't know for certain though. I just know I wouldn't gamble with touching my ears drum at all within the first month or so. Acoustic trauma from what I read takes six weeks to heal sensitivity wise.

I shouldn't have went?!? You mean, the ear cleaning was bad?!? Oh, I'm so worried now.... Omg!

 

[GSC]

My doctor's office won't let the dr see me because I was already there this morning (when I asked for a steroid prescription). I'm not making this up! :-(

Then walk in tomorrow, or go to the er or urgent care. Your health places sound so inconsiderate..

 

[GSC]

I shouldn't have went?!? You mean, the ear cleaning was bad?!? Oh, I'm so worried now.... Omg!

It will be fine! Just deep breaths, calm down. Try and relax. Don't focus on it. You're still very very very early in your onset. It's been only 3-4 days for you and your ear is a low hiss. It could get better. Give your ear the chance to heal, okay?

 

[PeteJ]

Then walk in tomorrow, or go to the er or urgent care. Your health places sound so inconsiderate..

I'm going to after hours (medical clinic) although they will probably be less helpful.

 

[PeteJ]

It will be fine! Just deep breaths, calm down. Try and relax. Don't focus on it. You're still very very very early in your onset. It's been only 3-4 days for you and your ear is a low hiss. It could get better. Give your ear the chance to heal, okay?

I hope so. I would have just waited but the buzzing was unbearable when I made the appointment. Everyone (around the medical profession here) says you need a 'diagnosis' so I thought an audiologist would be 'better' than the hearing clinic that did the first test - which was basic and quick. That was my thinking. I did have reservations and was even anxious there. People / in the medical profession - seem to just shrug off tinnitus issues - probably the same there, too? I am so paranoid of doing something wrong or having something wrong done to me.

 

[GSC]

I hope so. I would have just waited but the buzzing was unbearable when I made the appointment. Everyone (around the medical profession here) says you need a 'diagnosis' so I thought an audiologist would be 'better' than the hearing clinic that did the first test - which was basic and quick. That was my thinking. I did have reservations and was even anxious there. People / in the medical profession - seem to just shrug off tinnitus issues - probably the same there, too? I am so paranoid of doing something wrong or having something wrong done to me.

Go to my profile and look in my bookmarks of stuff to avoid if your ear is now in pain, okay? Just say you had a rough ear cleaning and now your ear hurts/burns.

 

[Contrast]

I'm sure you all know what I mean - TRT stuff

Avoid TRT at all cost, it's a great way to drain your pockets

Acoustic trauma from what I read takes six weeks to heal sensitivity wise.

every case is different, mine took 9 months

 

[Contrast]

Your reply is very informative but also very depressing. :-( Can one test for 'hidden hearing loss?' I can buy magnesium at the grocery/drug store but how do I convince a general physician or even ENT to prescribe a prednisone steroid for my condition? I'm afraid they will 'ask why?' and look at me funny. Here, it takes ages to get an ENT appointment but I have the ball rolling meaning I visited their office and told them I want an appt and they should have received my referral (all these health clinics turn their phones off so you only get busy signals).

I am correct to assume that it's still early enough to use the steroid? I have read of that once but previously, my buzzing was so fast and loud, I couldn't go on the computer for long and the 'PTSD' (I am just calling it that so you know what I mean) of being near my 'trigger' of this tinnitus upset me (maybe that sounds silly but...).

I'm really worried about that picture - that my nerve fibers/hair cells were damaged and this is what happened. Has anyone read of the study that the CTV Network reported on tinnitus? It made me lose hope.

Just tell them you had an acoustic trauma from sudden loud noise, you have tinnitus, your ears are in pain and you have a drop in your hearing. If an ENT doesn't allow it go to your GP, they are more common sensable.

 

[PeteJ]

Avoid TRT at all cost, it's a great way to drain your pockets

every case is different, mine took 9 months

I was glad to read your reply, too. Do you think it's okay that I went to an audiologist? I mean, it can't make things worse (permanently)? I am praying no.

I wish I didn't go - all they did is 'conclude I have hearing loss', try to sell me hearing aids I can't afford, try to get me back to work (before I'm ready) - I think they thought I was full-time permanent and that the company would (help) pay for them and then aggravate my left ear so now I have considerable discomfort. I was actually worried about the right ear because it was the one with the most wax in it.

 

[PeteJ]

Just tell them you had an acoustic trauma from sudden loud noise, you have tinnitus, your ears are in pain and you have a drop in your hearing. If an ENT doesn't allow it go to your GP, they are more common sensable.

I'm having difficulty getting an appt with an ENT - well, a local one. Not sure what to do.
Also, the audiologist didn't have my test results ready for a record I could take with me. 'Thought that was odd. She said she would send the results to my physician. I think I messed up going to that appointment - I shouldn't regret it so much because it's hyping up my anxiety but that's probably more due to my left ear discomfort than anything and worrying about any effect on the tinnitus.

 

[Contrast]

'conclude I have hearing loss'

some people are told they have no hearing loss and they actually do, (this doesn't apply to your case)

Because current technology cannot restore hearing, it is your choice if you want to buy a hearing aid.

 

[PeteJ]

Does it make any sense to buy ear muff protection for when I go out (outside) - for e.g. driving and taking my dog for a walk? I went to an after hrs doc to complain about ear popping but of course he did nothing (waste of time) but on my way back to my place, a sand truck was making a big noise. I was so freaked and my right ear hurt. I don't know if it was the noise or just coincidence but probably the noise right? My ears are sensitive to noise now and hopefully healing, right?
I am wondering if the muffs might help avoid some loud noises - I live in an urban area and there's quite a lot of traffic noise during the day. I might look a bit funny but I don't care. Does this idea make sense or is it overkill?

Another question: my low buzzing seemed to get a bit higher in volume after this and I decided to go to sleep because it's hard to do anything when this happens (it was also faster) and like I said, my ear hurt. I got my room as quiet as possible with the door closed. Eventually, the buzzing subsided and I had a decent sleep (considering). It seems when I get things really quiet, the buzzing subsides a lot but maybe when I hear noise, it picks up. Is this normal and/or something to worry about or can I still hope that it is healing and that the quiet during sleep is a good sign?

I also wonder if I have a jaw problem. I have popping in my left ear on occasion and I think I clench my jaw in my sleep - I've been known to grind my teeth in my sleep. I'm getting a night guard but my brother says that it just protects my teeth and is indicative of a larger problem. Some friends/my brother think the 'jaw thing' might be a large factor in my tinnitus but I think they are just hopeful/wishful that it's something like this (meaning if it is solved, my tinnitus will either go away or become way more manageable - like reduce to something I can cope with or something). I think they are being overly hopeful but I would embrace anything that relieves me of this condition. If it's just a factor but not a cause or if relieving any jaw condition doesn't change things much - it still might help with the hear pain and popping, at least?

Sorry for so many posts. I appreciate all the replies and can't imagine what others are going through. I hate this and wish there was more organizations/government attention to it but then they mostly just participate if they can get money?

One more thing: I am afraid to go out now because I anticipate the buzzing will increase. I also have a defective fridge that becomes loud. I want to 'break it' since my apartment landlord would have to get a new one. Is there some way I can force them to replace it because of my ear/hearing condition? I am at my wit's end with noise and paranoia regarding 'sudden loud noise.'

 

[Bill Bauer]

Does it make any sense to buy ear muff protection for when I go out (outside) - for e.g. driving and taking my dog for a walk?

If you notice that the sound of a car door slamming close when you are inside of the car feels too loud to you, or if you get spikes or ear fullness following driving, then it might be a good idea to experiment with wearing earplugs when you drive.

on my way back to my place, a sand truck was making a big noise. I was so freaked and my right ear hurt.

Yes, you definitely want to buy earmuffs (Peltor X5A are a good model), and slip them on when you see that you are about to be blasted by a loud noise.

My ears are sensitive to noise now and hopefully healing, right?

Yes, you just need to protect your ears for the first year or two while your ears are vulnerable and hopefully healing. Eventually, you ought to get more resilient.

I am wondering if the muffs might help avoid some loud noises - I live in an urban area and there's quite a lot of traffic noise during the day. I might look a bit funny but I don't care.

You could also wear earplugs (3M 1100 plugs are good) - the protection is similar, and they are more discrete. Alternatively, consider buying Peltor X4A muffs - they provide slightly less protection, but they X5A are twice the width of X4A, so X4A are more discrete - they look almost like headphones.

Eventually, the buzzing subsided

Wonderful!

Is this normal and/or something to worry about or can I still hope that it is healing and that the quiet during sleep is a good sign?

Many people's T is reactive like that. There is definitely still hope. Try to ignore what happens on a daily or even weekly basis. The important thing is the monthly trend and the global lows. If you notice an improvement compared to how you had been feeling a month ago - that would be an encouraging sign (as it ought to continue to fade).

I also wonder if I have a jaw problem.

Normally, when jaw is the cause, T starts out of nowhere, and not after exposure to noise. [@threefirefour , had that been that your case?] Having said this, some people's T had rapidly improved after they treated their TMJ. So this is something you might consider doing.

If it's just a factor but not a cause or if relieving any jaw condition doesn't change things much - it still might help with the hear pain and popping, at least?

Makes sense.

I am at my wit's end with noise and paranoia regarding 'sudden loud noise.'

On this site, I am one of the biggest advocates for protecting one's ears. However, I acknowledge that any given event is very unlikely to cause permanent damage (even if it causes a temporary spike). It is possible to heal, despite experiencing multiple setbacks and spikes due to unavoidable noise exposure. [Of course having too many of those incidents might end up leading to a permanent T spike and could interfere with healing.] So just do what you can to avoid noise, but if you get exposed, don't worry too much about it. Keep in mind that you don't want to protect 24/7 and that protection can get out of control and become debilitating.

 

[Contrast]

How come I can't send a pm to someone or reply to one? I hope no one is annoyed by my posts.

A lot of people with tinnitus have two things in common "hearing loss and jaw issues"

Did you notice your jaw issues got worse after tinnitus onset, such as a tooth ache or worsening TMJ?

 

[Drone Draper]

How come I can't send a pm to someone or reply to one? I hope no one is annoyed by my posts.

Absolutely nobody is annoyed. It may be because you have a new account, I couldn't reply to PMs the first few days I was registered.

 

[billie48]

Don't panic or get too distressed. Most members here will tell you that generally acoustic trauma induced tinnitus will cause loud tinnitus, perhaps hurtful hyperacusis too. But this usually will fade in intensity and if you ears are now unstable, it may take a few months to settle down. Try not focus too much on it and stay positive, as this can help the body to get off the fight or flight mode of the limbic nerves which will make tinnitus that much worse. Your acute condition is most likely temporary. Crying is okay as it can release stress. I know of a moderator in another support forum who told others he cried for 2 years before he habituated. It ok to be upset but don't be too depressed about your life. Better days can come. See this former poster who told us he was suicidal when his tinnitus hit hard and his fiancee even left him in his darkest time. He now shares his joy after tinnitus. So take it easy. Don't lose heart. Take good care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...are-with-you-some-pictures-i-took-after.3268/

 

[GSC]

You're not annoying anyone. You're always free to talk to me.

 

[PeteJ]

Does anyone have any ideas how to get prednisone in a country (mine: Canada) in which the medical profession don't think it's a good treatment for tinnitis? Someone gave me an idea to visit an ER and say that an alarm hurt my ears but you spend hours here at ER and I am not sure whether they 'would go for that.'

 

[PeteJ]

You're not annoying anyone. You're always free to talk to me.

Thank you. Thanks to everyone, too. It's making me cry - I know that sounds silly.

 

[GSC]

Does anyone have any ideas how to get prednisone in a country (mine: Canada) in which the medical profession don't think it's a good treatment for tinnitis? Someone gave me an idea to visit an ER and say that an alarm hurt my ears but you spend hours here at ER and I am not sure whether they 'would go for that.'

I think it's worth trying. Say your eardrums burn and feel hot. But not on the outerear side, the inner ear side. I would try whatever it takes.

 

[Contrast]

If you can't get a predisone steroid just make sure to take magnesium.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Does anyone have any ideas how to get prednisone in a country (mine: Canada) in which the medical profession don't think it's a good treatment for tinnitis? Someone gave me an idea to visit an ER and say that an alarm hurt my ears but you spend hours here at ER and I am not sure whether they 'would go for that.'

If it Really feels like something is Very wrong, you could try taking Prednisone. It is a powerful drug that can have serious side effects (like bone loss leading to problems with teeth). So you should only take it if you are sure that there is no other way. A doctor won't prescribe it for the kind of noise that you have been subjected to. If you live in North America, you can try telling the doctor that you were around a gunshot or had to stop a screaming fire alarm. They might then give 5 50 mg pills to you. The standard course is 2 weeks + tapering, so it might require several trips to different ERs to get that.

You can search this forum to read more about Prednisone. Some people think that it helps prevent damage following noise trauma, but others disagree. The bottom line is that you shouldn't be taking it unless you are convinced that there is no other way.

Prednisone is most effective when taken 48 hours after the noise exposure.

In addition to the ER, you can get it from your family doctor, or from a walk-in clinic. You will want to take a look at the side effects. Seriously consider not taking it, as it is a serious drug...

 

[PeteJ]

If you can't get a predisone steroid just make sure to take magnesium.

Can it be magnesium citrate or does it matter (which)? I got magnesium citrate already - 150g - I take 3 a day. I guess I could have bought a different brand but I just grabbed this one - the citrate variety usually comes in the lower dosages for some reason. I was told that 'they're all the same.'