I'm Feeling Alone

[snow47]

I don't want to talk about T. I really feel needing kind of help. Why no one can help me? I need a doctor? Maybe a psychiatrist. Actually I went to a psychiatrist. "I couldn't do anything for you", he said.

Every morning I wake up and Carrying this heavy Package until night when I sleep. and it's repeated again and again.I really ready to be dead.

Every night I wish to will not wake up tomorrow.

I don't now what to do. what do you think? What should I do? I don't know what to do anymore. I have been searching for any solution that could help me. I try very things and every time I fail.

 

[Deandush]

Keep your head up @snow47, we are all in this together, I too am struggling at this point in my life, I can totally feel your pain I'm going through a major spike and a breakup at the same time and not coping well so I totally feel your pain I feel alone and lost just like you but you know what, no matter how much I am struggling I know it will get better, when you get so low in life there is only one way you can go and that is up, like they say it is always darkest before the dawn just hang in there buddy, there is hope for all of us even when it seems like there isn't, if you need to talk you can start a conversation with me if you like

 

[Marijana]

Hi snow
You are not alone, remember that! There is always someone thinking about you
Even though you are currently carrying that heavy package you are alive and eventually you'll have to get rid of that package, because you just can't carry it with you forever right?
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have
It doesn't matter how many times you fail. Every time you rise matters!

 

[Candy]

Please @snow47 consider CBT by Skype if this is not available in your country. Keep strong, you can do it, we're all in this together.

 

[glynis]

Hi Snow,
Welcome call me again.
My advise would to ring the mental health crisis team and they also have phone support till 2am.
Or the samaritans.
Your anxiety is high and panicking how to cope day in day out and having irrational thoughts and feelings.
You just need a guiding path to follow with support on the phone or face to face.
We are all in this together and as a forum we can be strong and let our feelings out and not be judged for how we feel and when our mood is low or in a deep depression..
We hear you and here for you lots of love glynis

 

[Scared111]

I think many of us feel the same way. Another day with this crap over our head. But there is no way out of it. maybe one day , it will go. There are many people in life bearing the same pain even though you may not see it. There are all sorts of illnesses everywhere. I know how you feel. I feel as if I lost a part of myself when this happened. But we all have family and friends , so we all move forward. Some days are worse, some days better. Know that you are not alone. We may not walk in the same exact path but we all know the hurt and pain you feel.

 

[snow47]

Thank you for your lovely words. The life for me is like movie that near to end. I'm not hero in this move. I'm just bad luck man. You are such good people. Why do you must suffer from this!
I wish to talk with all of you. But I'm sorry I can't speak good in English. what Can I do is waiting. Maybe one day I getting free by cure or die.

 

[Rubenslash]

Go to a psychologist. If you ask for a cure, he will answer that he can't help you (like the psychiatrist), but they can help you in coping with this condition.

 

[MikeGreen]

There are some people here who really have no friends at all. Just family. Including me. I feel loneliness everyday and its something I have to drop because long term it will have health effects. You're not alone.

 

[I who love music]

There's a very simple way to cope, and not be aware of T.
Only a few days into this method, I felt better and was feeling normal, not responding to my T at all.
Now, a few years later, I only hear my T once every couple weeks. I guarantee you that my T was worse than most people here.
When comfort and encouragement aren't enough, take action and try this...
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

[snow47]

There's a very simple way to cope, and not be aware of T.
Only a few days into this method, I felt better and was feeling normal, not responding to my T at all.
Now, a few years later, I only hear my T once every couple weeks. I guarantee you that my T was worse than most people here.
When comfort and encouragement aren't enough, take action and try this...
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

I read your thread and that was amazing. But you mean I just say something about my felling instead of T loudness? just this could help?

 

[Jeff M.]

Hey @snow47 !! I hope you are doing OK!! Isolation and withdrawl are painful and will make T worse! But I understand because I have been there, and sometimes still am. People don't understand what T does to us. It sucks. BUT we can and will overcome. Don't give up!! Push through! I am 4 1/2 years into this and I am victorious! You will be too. Be encouraged and stay engaged!! This is a great community here! Stay connected! Peace to you!

Jeff

 

[Bidyut saha]

we have lost very much things of our life after getting T. also we came to learn " a silence life is better than anything we had expected". Don't worry , a sunny day will be come soon and we are all members of this forum will live with a deep feelings.

 

[Leonardo Aguiar]

The suffering is the best teacher, enjoy the opportunity.

Stop expecting for the day everything will be good. This is a trap. Do it now. Then now again. Follow the inertia.
If sad, accept it, it's ok to be sad, feel it coming, then feel it going. Don't try not to be sad. Just watch it. It will fade away and you will witness it.

Understand it and you will have a fulfilled life.
Loneliness can become solitude.

 

[snow47]

Hi @Jeff M. Thanks for your words. I wish I could habitute to this.

a silence life is better than anything we had expected

. This is really true.

Don't try not to be sad

I'm sad. really sad. This is my destiny. a few years age I have never thought I would be hear someday in future. I've thought happiness is waiting for me.

 

[Bidyut saha]

Hi @snow47
Dear bro u hv only the option to be better. That is u hv to be calm. U should ask ur GP and get some medication for stress or dipression. U will find some masking music therapy which might give u relax. Off course it will be reduce after some days or months. We all had the same experiance. God bless u.
.

 

[josf3]

Shit happens man. Look everyday is a new day. You never know when things could change for you in a good way. Life is a journey. Be thankful for everything you have and do things that make you happy. Everything will be okay my friend. Good luck

 

[Richard zurowski]

@snow47 . Stay with us snow. We are all in this together my friend it's hard for you I know. I've been in these desperate times like you are going through and many others on this forum have as well. Remember you are not alone.

 

[fedup]

Please do not give in friend . I know it is horrific just now ,I felt the same but recently my T started to ease for days on end even though it was so bad I too wanted to die.Your T can get ease too ,you never know ! Believe it. Try to stay strong .Talk to a friend or loved one .Just do not give in . I know it is very hard but you just never know you might get better or just find things get a bit easier.Good luck , you are not alone .

 

[snow47]

Thank you guys. you are amazing. each of your post give hope and make my feeling better.I know life is never will become like before. I know this happen to me and whatever I say like why me? and why now? It not change the fact. Yes I have Tinnitus and it's like a bog. Whatever you struggle more, You will be buried more.
On other side accept this is not easy at least for me. So now the life is like vacuum, I just pass days after days until something happen. Something that change this terrible loop. I afraid some day I'll be disappoint, when I've been ready for die, why I don't do that.

I thanksgiving god (If he exist!) for finding this site and you truly good guys.

 

[Lex]

@snow47, my T is currently tolerable but my H is something else. I feel it worsening very slowly, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm worried that everyday sounds that don't cause instant pain have a delayed effect. Now I have pain even in silence, and that's something hard to habituate to. So what do I do? Hide away from life or go on with trying to live? I don't know. Even medical professionals don't know.

Like you, I want to be dead. My birthday is coming up in a few days, and I'm wishing it's my last.

But in spite all this, I can't let myself give up by wallowing in depression or having a mental breakdown. Things are already bad enough as it is, so I don't want to make it worse. As for committing suicide, I don't have the balls for that, and I honestly wish I won't get to that stage. I hope you won't, too.

Please get help for your mental and emotional state first. Anxiety and depression can make everything feel so much worse than it is. And if it's any consolation, you will die someday. Maybe not as soon as you want it, but you will. This suffering has an end.

 

[stophiss]

@snow47, And if it's any consolation, you will die someday. Maybe not as soon as you want it, but you will. This suffering has an end.

Very uplifting and sage words of encouragement Alex....lol.

Will share my personal view of you Alex. You know I like you very much and have great respect. No doubt your acute H is real. But no question your hyper phobia to your sound sensitivity makes it much worse. IMHO you will not get to a better place without medication to remove your preoccupation with T and H. Same for snow. Snow needs a shrink for medication, not to tell him the world is round.

Good luck to you both.

 

[Lex]

Well, I'd like to think of myself as a realist, @stophiss. I don't wish for @snow47 to off himself or whither away, so I reminded him that this, too, shall pass. I don't know if things can get better for either him or me, but I know that even if they don't, they won't be like this forever.

But I do wish things get better. Still breathing, still hoping.

 

[stophiss]

Well, I'd like to think of myself as a realist, @stophiss. I don't wish for @snow47 to off himself or whither away, so I reminded him that this, too, shall pass. I don't know if things can get better for either him or me, but I know that even if they don't, they won't be like this forever.

But I do wish things get better. Still breathing, still hoping.

My personal view is you aren't a realist Alex...forgive me for disagreeing. The reason is...you can't be. Snow isn't either. You both are deeply troubled. Further you both struggle coping because your brain chemistry keeps you from being more independent from your T and/or H. I hear no admission from you or Snow that you need medication and yet you don't have the strength of will to move beyond your T or H. Instead because you in particular...your life is controlled by your H. You obsess about it in fact and every other sentence you write is about worry and anxiety and falling deeper into the pit of H and losing more of the control over your life. You are looking at this backward. There is no control of life. Good physical and mental health is completely predicated on letting go. You can't because your brain chemistry won't let you. You need medication, possibly as much as Nathalie and several others here do whose posts are basically a cry for help.
I have told you this repeatedly. Perhaps one day you will realize this and you will get help. Snow and Nathalie as well.

Best of luck

 

[I who love music]

I read your thread and that was amazing. But you mean I just say something about my felling instead of T loudness? just this could help?

Yes.
But the method has to be done correctly.
It gave me my life back, I'm even playing semi-loud music again. Because as you know, I love music.
I tell everyone it can help them too. I'm confident it will. Because, good lord, if it helped me and my bad condition I had for years, and every other med and therapy failed, but this one worked, then why not?

 

[dgray]

@snow47, my T is currently tolerable but my H is something else. I feel it worsening very slowly, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm worried that everyday sounds that don't cause instant pain have a delayed effect. Now I have pain even in silence, and that's something hard to habituate to. So what do I do? Hide away from life or go on with trying to live? I don't know. Even medical professionals don't know.

Like you, I want to be dead. My birthday is coming up in a few days, and I'm wishing it's my last.

But in spite all this, I can't let myself give up by wallowing in depression or having a mental breakdown. Things are already bad enough as it is, so I don't want to make it worse. As for committing suicide, I don't have the balls for that, and I honestly wish I won't get to that stage. I hope you won't, too.

Please get help for your mental and emotional state first. Anxiety and depression can make everything feel so much worse than it is. And if it's any consolation, you will die someday. Maybe not as soon as you want it, but you will. This suffering has an end.

I will pray for you.

 

[snow47]

My personal view is you aren't a realist Alex...forgive me for disagreeing. The reason is...you can't be. Snow isn't either. You both are deeply troubled. Further you both struggle coping because your brain chemistry keeps you from being more independent from your T and/or H. I hear no admission from you or Snow that you need medication and yet you don't have the strength of will to move beyond your T or H. Instead because you in particular...your life is controlled by your H. You obsess about it in fact and every other sentence you write is about worry and anxiety and falling deeper into the pit of H and losing more of the control over your life. You are looking at this backward. There is no control of life. Good physical and mental health is completely predicated on letting go. You can't because your brain chemistry won't let you. You need medication, possibly as much as Nathalie and several others here do whose posts are basically a cry for help.
I have told you this repeatedly. Perhaps one day you will realize this and you will get help. Snow and Nathalie as well.

Best of luck

I have completely searched for anything that could help. Believe me, I'm so tired from this condition. I have thought I'm smart but now I'm terribly confused like every door closed to me and it's no way even die. What should I do? I just want someone to say me what should I do and I do it. Each way I've went was wrong. What's your mean from medication? that's true, my brain doesn't get used to this. I think because it's too loud. Sometimes I'm better but most of the times I'm not. Doctors just say we can't do anything for you. Woow what a answer? they completely disappoint me with this sentence.

 

[stophiss]

I have completely searched for anything that could help. Believe me, I'm so tired from this condition. I have thought I'm smart but now I'm terribly confused like every door closed to me and it's no way even die. What should I do? I just want someone to say me what should I do and I do it. Each way I've went was wrong. What's your mean from medication? that's true, my brain doesn't get used to this. I think because it's too loud. Sometimes I'm better but most of the times I'm not. Doctors just say we can't do anything for you. Woow what a answer? they completely disappoint me with this sentence.

Tell us how long you have had tinnitus and a complete list of medications you have tried including how long you have been on them.

 

[snow47]

Tell us how long you have had tinnitus and a complete list of medications you have tried including how long you have been on them.

I don't know exately how long I have Tinnitus but near to 8 months I guess. because it start very very low.
I used Split for my jaw about 2 months with Low Level Laser and magnetic therapy for muscle relax. but generally it not work for me. I consumed many drugs like cinnarizine, ginko, Vitamin B, Saffron, ... each one at least two week until 1 months. I've been starting acupuncture but I don't know has any effect or not.

 

[stophiss]

I don't know exately how long I have Tinnitus but near to 8 months I guess. because it start very very low.
I used Split for my jaw about 2 months with Low Level Laser and magnetic therapy for muscle relax. but generally it not work for me. I consumed many drugs like cinnarizine, ginko, Vitamin B, Saffron, ... each one at least two week until 1 months. I've been starting acupuncture but I don't know has any effect or not.

Will only share my opinion. You need therapy and anti depressant meds to allow habituation.
Again, my opinion is you will continue to struggle on your current trajectory.
Btw, the same applies with many here that come here with a cry for help.
Good luck.