Hi folks..
Sorry that I have not written anything the last days, I got a virus on my laptop that made it almost useless. Every second word at any web page turned in to advertisement links, and every time I pushed a normal link I was sent to something else, not the page I wanted. It also lagged a lot when I tried to write here. But it's good again now.
Its been quite bad weather the last days. Its been 10°C and mostly rain. 10°C feels fuuucking cold after a long and hot summer. In early spring however, 10°C feels like the sauna.
I have not been so much outside. I have no pictures this time.
What have happened..?
On Monday we had a meeting with the 'Norwegian Association for the Hearing Impaired' all day, about what kind of rights we have relative to work situation, facilitating, financial coverage of hearing aids etc. Not so important for you folks since most of you are not Norwegians.
I found out this day that my hearing on my right ear is so bad that I get full cover from the public health care. Which is nice, but also, kind of sucks. Hahaha.
On Tuesday we had a psychologist coming over to talk about depression and anxiety. He did not tell anything "new". I have read most of what he said on the internet earlier.
Today:
First part of the day a comedian was here and talked about how to stay happy in difficult times. Unfortunately, when the lecture started I had to go because I ate to much candy the day before.
I had a date with the toilet rest of that morning. Shit happens. (What an appropriate phrase)
He is coming back next week, so it does not matter.
After dinner we had a lecture with an ENT-specialist. He had a lot of clever stuff to say. I will retell three things he said:
1: Most of the people that have tinnitus are not bothered about it. He also said that volume is not the most important factor when it comes to who is bothered and who is not. He said he had patients with severe hearing-loss and loud tinnitus, but did not care about it. He also said that other people only had a tiny beep, and was very bothered by it. Which leads to his second point.
2:
This picture is not the one he used, but it was a similar one. It makes the same point. This is taken from Google.
The ENT-specialist told us that he had two kind of patients.
The first group goes to his office, tells him that they have tinnitus. They think it's irritating, but no anxiety or fear. Some tell they have loud tinnitus, other tells him they can only hear it when its completely silent.
The second group goes to his office, tells him that they have tinnitus. They are very anxious about it, severely stressed out, feel fear etc.
The difference about these two groups is that the first group, who only looked at their tinnitus as a small annoyance. Did not go into the vicious circle, as you can see in the picture, where everything fuels everything else. Yes, they could still hear it, but it was a meaningless sound for them, so the brain just ignored the sound most of the day. Just like we ignore the sound from the refrigerator, or traffic etc.
The second group, who looked at their tinnitus as something scary, aimed their "radar" to the tinnitus, which just made it even more scary, and louder. Just try it, some day you have some kind of pain. If you focus really hard on the pain, it will just get much much more painful. Even the smallest pain. Just thinking about something painful can make you feel pain.
3:
The doctor also said that when you focus on the tinnitus and label it with something negative or dangerous, your brain will actually make more and stronger nerve-connections between the hearing-center, limbic system and your hearing. Making it even harder to ignore in the future.
After this he told us a story from when he got a job at a new hospital. He said that the alarm for "low-battery" in some device at his new office, was the same as the cardiac arrest alarm at the old hospital he worked on. So every time the device started to beep, his pulse raised and he got stressed. He said it took him six months to get used to the new meaning of the alarm. His brain (limbic system) had labeled this alarm sound as; "okey, now you have to get up and run." And it's just the same with tinnitus. When you label it as something scary or dangerous, your limbic system tells your body to get up and run. How do you sleep when your body is ready to run away from a tiger? Because that is what your limbic system prepare you for, if we look at it from our primitive past.
Other thoughts:
It is really nice to actually meet people with the same problem. I know we have forums like this, but it is something else to actually speak with people in real life. Get friends that understand. Friends you can keep after the stay. You don't feel alone about it anymore. Everyone with tinnitus knows that talking with someone who don't have tinnitus is like speaking to a wall. It's like explaining colors to a blind person. They just don't get it.
The people on this camp. I can't tell much about them since we are under strict confidentiality. By definition we are patients. You see them suffer at one point, but in the next moment they can be laughing again. You understand that it's not the end of the world. Most people get some "shit" during life. Very few live life from start to end with no scratches at all. Tinnitus is not even a disease, it's just a irritating symptom on something else, normally something harmless, in a way, we are lucky. It could be cancer, or some other serious stuff.
Yeah, the best part of this stay is to meet other people. The society we live in makes an illusion that most people always are happy. Media, Facebook etc. People just post the good stuff, no one tells bad shit in a Facebook status. It makes the illusion that everyone always are happy. But they are not.
It's really nice to get a break too. When I'm here I can see my situation home much better, I see it from an "outside perspective". What I do good, what I don't do good, what to change etc. If you have the opportunity to get away some weeks to reflect, and you are new to tinnitus. I think that is something you should do.
We will have the "How to master tinnitus and reduced sound tolerance" lecture on Saturday and Sunday. Will post more then.
Peace!.