I'm Losing It. Not Doing Well.

[Wolfears]

@glynis Also out of curiosity how are staff ever going to be able to verify such an occurrence?

Okay I'm being constantly misquote here so once again.....I said 'possibly' lost and I stand by it. This thread was created by someone who tried to personally message me saying he was putting my words in a suicide diary to his family. You all read that. I'll be honest it shook me up, I panicked, and tried my best to contact him and encourage him to stay alive. As far as I'm aware he's not reappeared. There is a tiny likelihood he's spontaneously improved so as I said I fear he's 'posssibly' gone. You can not argue with my logic on this.

I'm pretty sure I could come up with whole bunch of suicidal posts just from from the past month, who's authors were never heard from again (at least not that I'm aware off).

Not trying to say that every single one of them is dead, but considering the reality of tinnitus, when someone makes a disturbing post and never comes back, it is deffinitelly a huge red flag in my opinion.

 

[Bam]

@Wolfears And yet there's crap like this article online.....

https://dutchreview.com/featured/what-you-might-want-to-know-about-tinnitus/

Quote: '....the reality for the vast majority of people with tinnitus is (fortunately) no way near as dramatic. In fact, the experts say that there has rarely if ever been a case where a person was driven to suicide only because of tinnitus. When checked for accuracy, it was almost always a combination of personal problems, tinnitus being at most the drop that spilled the bucket.'

Experts! What bloody experts?! Honestly who makes up this utter crap that tinnitus cannot possibly be bad enough to kill your self over and an argument with your boyfriend, losing a crappy job, or being fat are perfectly understandable reasons. Try telling that to poor old Vermillion. It's not tinnitus breaking his spirit and soul it's 'a combination of personal problems'

F*** you! If i met the person who wrote this article I would kick the living s*** out of them on his behalf.

 

[Bam]

A family member than logged on, saw the PM, and responded.

I'm sorry this sounds very unlikely to me. I speak for myself but I know 100% nobody from my family will contact this website if I off myself for numerous reasons.

 

[fishbone]

@Wolfears And yet there's crap like this article online.....

https://dutchreview.com/featured/what-you-might-want-to-know-about-tinnitus/

Quote: '....the reality for the vast majority of people with tinnitus is (fortunately) no way near as dramatic. In fact, the experts say that there has rarely if ever been a case where a person was driven to suicide only because of tinnitus. When checked for accuracy, it was almost always a combination of personal problems, tinnitus being at most the drop that spilled the bucket.'

Experts! What bloody experts?! Honestly who makes up this utter crap that tinnitus cannot possibly be bad enough to kill your self over and an argument with your boyfriend, losing a crappy job, or being fat are perfectly understandable reasons. Try telling that to poor old Vermillion. It's not tinnitus breaking his spirit and soul it's 'a combination of personal problems'

F*** you! If i met the person who wrote this article I would kick the living s*** out of them on his behalf.

This article triggers some elements within my soul, that are not as positive.... as my posts here on this site. Only an outsider with no tinnitus or suffering can write some garbage like this. Don't take offense to it, there are many fools in this world and it will never end....

 

[Error404]

Well let's see. Prior to the onset of my 24/7 unmaskable T, I had finished my PhD with excellent results, had started a postdoc after lecturing, and am fortunate enough to be financially comfortable: we have a nice house, go on regular holidays, can more or less afford to do what we want (within reason), have good friends, am close to our families etc. Then the endless racket started and blew everything apart. It seriously tested my marriage (we're through it now, stronger thankgoodness), my academic career that I have trained nine years for is now non-existent, and I cope with a fairly high dose of anti-depressants, valium as needed, and yes, alcohol - I dread to think what this combination is doing health-wise as I used to be someone who went to the gym three times a week (now I am confined to walking the dogs).

I had NO significant personal problems prior to this. The ONLY factor in my being bed-bound for most of Spring trying to resist the urge to drive off the nearest bridge was the T. Had it not spontaneously faded (it's ever present but at a lower volume since June) I seriously wonder if I'd have ended up in a psychiatric hospital owing to being a serious risk to myself. And my story doesn't seem uncommon on this forum.

 

[fishbone]

and this is why we need a cure and not CBT/TRT therapy. IT wont work with people who have severe tinnitus.

I have severe tinnitus and those things do work. It all depends on the individual and their frame of mind. I'd love to hear silence again as well, but it's not happening today....so I live my life and move forward.

PS-I do feel your pain though. I really do. I have a new friend that wants to hang out next week and I cannot figure out what kind of place, we can go to so my tinnitus won't be rattled. I cannot go to a bar or a sports grill and wear ear plugs. As it is my hearing is horrible, with plugs I will not be able to hear him at all...lol

 

[Tinker Bell]

I'm sorry this sounds very unlikely to me. I speak for myself but I know 100% nobody from my family will contact this website if I off myself for numerous reasons.

Unlikely for you does not mean unlikely for everyone. It happens on the other forum I frequent. Again, it's not a tinnitus forum and we frequently have suicidal posters.

I'm pretty sure I could come up with whole bunch of suicidal posts just from from the past month, who's authors were never heard from again (at least not that I'm aware off).

When speculating why a poster is absent, it may be helpful to check their posting history. In only the past year I can think of many posters who posted when they were struggling or dealing with a spike, then they are absent for weeks or months before reappearing.

 

[Wolfears]

@Wolfears And yet there's crap like this article online.....

https://dutchreview.com/featured/what-you-might-want-to-know-about-tinnitus/

Quote: '....the reality for the vast majority of people with tinnitus is (fortunately) no way near as dramatic. In fact, the experts say that there has rarely if ever been a case where a person was driven to suicide only because of tinnitus. When checked for accuracy, it was almost always a combination of personal problems, tinnitus being at most the drop that spilled the bucket.'

Experts! What bloody experts?! Honestly who makes up this utter crap that tinnitus cannot possibly be bad enough to kill your self over and an argument with your boyfriend, losing a crappy job, or being fat are perfectly understandable reasons. Try telling that to poor old Vermillion. It's not tinnitus breaking his spirit and soul it's 'a combination of personal problems'

F*** you! If i met the person who wrote this article I would kick the living s*** out of them on his behalf.

I'm with you on that one...it's bunch of garbage at best (if it's just due to ignorance) or pure evil propaganda (assuming the author is well aware of the truth)

I'm not aware of any other "non lethal" condition, that will take happy, normal, productive people with no history of mental ilness to the brink of suicide faster than tinnitus will.
I remember a while ago, someone pointed out there is a condition involving visual halucination which might be on the same level, so I will have to take their word for it.
And of course I'm talking about loud crippling, debilitating 24/7 tinnitus here..not the mild version that's easy to ignore.

Also..the kind of tinnitus induced suicide won't be an irrational act of a derranged madman, but rather a cold and calculative act of a person who arrived to the point at which the brutal, inhumane torture of tinnitus is now worse than death.
That is the most twisted reality about this satanic POS of a condition...it will not kill you, but it will torture you to death by your own hand.

This is why I will continue demanding nothing short of a "final solution" for tinnitus...eradicate that cock*ucker once for all with EXTREME prejudice.

 

[Darkener]

I actually read some utter plank online complaining about floaters and saying that 'it's far worse than tinnitus. At least with tinnitus you can just wear headphones all day long to block it out'.....maybe one day he might get a chance to see if his theory is right.

Sounds like his knowledge of T comes from watching Baby Driver. I live in hell. Been here ever since I developed tinnitus, and earphones makes it worse.

 

[Error404]

The visual disorder is called Charles Bonnet Syndrome: at it's worst, people hallucinate entire scenes that take over their visual field. I imagine if this was every day, you'd quickly become extremely depressed.

My deafness has never bothered me. I know it sounds odd, but I've never regarded it as a disability as I do most things a non-deaf person does. The T that accompanies it is MUCH worse. My greatest fear is that one day, my implant might stop working, and I'll be trapped in a prison of discordant, overpowering sounds.

 

[Tinker Bell]

I'm not aware of any other "non lethal" condition, that will take happy, normal, productive people with no history of mental ilness to the brink of suicide faster than tinnitus will.
I remember a while ago, someone pointed out there is a condition involving visual halucination which might be on the same level, so I will have to take their word for it.
And of course I'm talking about loud crippling, debilitating 24/7 tinnitus here..not the mild version that's easy to ignore.

I can actually think of quite a few. We are not the only unfortunate souls who suffer. There are many rare — and not so rare — horrible chronic conditions.

 

[Bam]

The T that accompanies it is MUCH worse. My greatest fear is that one day, my implant might stop working, and I'll be trapped in a prison of discordant, overpowering sounds.

Funny how we all grew up fearing deafness and being really unaware that's its sidekick is a much nastier son of a b****.

 

[Bam]

I can actually think of quite a few. We are not the only unfortunate souls who suffer. There are many rare — and not so rare — horrible chronic conditions.

And we're still years away from the right to die for everybody in the world whose life has been reduced to pointless suffering. Why anyone with a chronic and very unpleasant health condition that the doctors admit they cant resolve or even reduce the symptoms of has to consider desperately taking their own life with zero support from anyone ina way that may leave them worse off, is beyond comprehension.

 

[fishbone]

Funny how we all grew up fearing deafness and being really unaware that's its sidekick is a much nastier son of a b****.

As I got tinnitus in my teens over 30 years ago. I have been, to some of the "so called" leading experts in the field of tinnitus. It's funny how 90% of them, didn't even know what tinnitus truly was. So I got bounced around from one dr to another. I always had a choice of (getting my nerves) in the ears cut to become deaf. They said that it would cure my tinnitus 100%.

I am so glad, I never listened to them and never took their suggestions....It would have been a HUGE mistake. Going deaf is not going to guarantee that the tinnitus will go away. At times I think about DRs as a business and NOT a blessing....It's a sad fact of life.

 

[dpdx]

Well let's see. Prior to the onset of my 24/7 unmaskable T, I had finished my PhD with excellent results, had started a postdoc after lecturing, and am fortunate enough to be financially comfortable: we have a nice house, go on regular holidays, can more or less afford to do what we want (within reason), have good friends, am close to our families etc. Then the endless racket started and blew everything apart. It seriously tested my marriage (we're through it now, stronger thankgoodness), my academic career that I have trained nine years for is now non-existent, and I cope with a fairly high dose of anti-depressants, valium as needed, and yes, alcohol - I dread to think what this combination is doing health-wise as I used to be someone who went to the gym three times a week (now I am confined to walking the dogs).

I had NO significant personal problems prior to this. The ONLY factor in my being bed-bound for most of Spring trying to resist the urge to drive off the nearest bridge was the T. Had it not spontaneously faded (it's ever present but at a lower volume since June) I seriously wonder if I'd have ended up in a psychiatric hospital owing to being a serious risk to myself. And my story doesn't seem uncommon on this forum.

At least you had a choice to get married, buy a house, go on vacations, etc. I envy you because I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT.

 

[dpdx]

I have severe tinnitus and those things do work. It all depends on the individual and their frame of mind. I'd love to hear silence again as well, but it's not happening today....so I live my life and move forward.

PS-I do feel your pain though. I really do. I have a new friend that wants to hang out next week and I cannot figure out what kind of place, we can go to so my tinnitus won't be rattled. I cannot go to a bar or a sports grill and wear ear plugs. As it is my hearing is horrible, with plugs I will not be able to hear him at all...lol

Look man we need a cure for this. I am not kidding. Tinnitus is a serious condition that needs to be addressed ASAP. Tinnitus in my opinion destroys the brain bit by bit. I developed dark eye floaters, starbursts, and visual snow. I want a treatment to come so other people dont experience Severe Tinnitus/Hyperacusis and on top of that these things. TRT also costs a fortune and not many people can afford it. Please push for a cure and not for CBT/TRT, if TRT can reduce my Severe T from 9/10 to a 2/10 then I will embrace it otherwise if not then I wont.

 

[Bam]

At least you had a choice to get married, buy a house, go on vacations, etc. I envy you because I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT.

Dude I know it's heartbreaking but trust me the more you have, the more you have to lose. Imagine how error felt thinking her marriage was gone because of this. That creates a lot of anger and grief......Trust me you're no worse off than us a few years older.

 

[Elfin]

At least you had a choice to get married, buy a house, go on vacations, etc. I envy you because I WILL NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT.

I got T when I was 17. Since then I have been travelling, had relationships and got married. The holidays and the marriage coming through a period of intense spiking of the T.

It is possible, although very difficult. Luckily my wife, whilst frustrated at times, is accommodating to my requests to lessen the noise!

 

[dpdx]

Dude I know it's heartbreaking but trust me the more you have, the more you have to lose. Imagine how error felt thinking her marriage was gone because of this. That creates a lot of anger and grief......Trust me you're no worse off than us a few years older.

You are probably right. If I had all those things then the pain will me multiplied.

 

[dpdx]

I got T when I was 17. Since then I have been travelling, had relationships and got married. The holidays and the marriage coming through a period of intense spiking of the T.

It is possible, although very difficult. Luckily my wife, whilst frustrated at times, is accommodating to my requests to lessen the noise!

My T is just too loud to the point where I just wander away when I talk to people or when I watch TV.

 

[Bam]

@dpdx However I would say anyone pushing 70 complaining of this can **** right off! You expect this sort of crap then.

 

[dpdx]

@dpdx However I would say anyone pushing 70 complaining of this can **** right off! You expect this sort of crap then.

I wish I was 70 and had this. I really wouldnt care at all but the fact that I am 28 with Severe T/H is scary..

 

[fishbone]

Look man we need a cure for this. I am not kidding. Tinnitus is a serious condition that needs to be addressed ASAP. Tinnitus in my opinion destroys the brain bit by bit. I developed dark eye floaters, starbursts, and visual snow. I want a treatment to come so other people dont experience Severe Tinnitus/Hyperacusis and on top of that these things. TRT also costs a fortune and not many people can afford it. Please push for a cure and not for CBT/TRT, if TRT can reduce my Severe T from 9/10 to a 2/10 then I will embrace it otherwise if not then I wont.

I been dealing with this garbage for over 30 years. You don't think, i'd love to wake up and not hear this menace? I would give my life to have silence again. It was 1997 I was driving home from vocational school with my ex fiance. It was around 10pm at night time. I was driving and my tinnitus/ears stopped ringing for 1 minute. I stopped my car, stepped outside and shed tears. I thanked my maker for curing me. I never felt such gratitude and appreciation in my life before. Nothing like that. Then my ears started to ring again and I was CRUSHED!

Trust me, I hope they find a cure for this horror. ***At the same time, I know what I face each day. I accept what I face each day. I know that there is no cure. Since all of these elements are true, I KNOW that I have to live my life. I KNOW that I have to make my days count. I KNOW that I have to achieve my goals and move forward.***

I feel your pain and all that suffer, but I also accept my pain. I accept the suffering and live a productive life. I have never done CBT, but I am always grateful for TRT. I careless who likes it or not, it makes no difference to me at all. It saved my life and took my pain in the ears away.

I care for all the members here and you have a guy that been at this for 30 years. I bought all the supplements, all the so called - cures. I bought them all and most of them have failed me.

What I share with you folks is 30 years of blood, sweat and LOTS OF TEARS!

Bless all of you and happy 4th of July

 

[dpdx]

I been dealing with this garbage for over 30 years. You don't think, i'd love to wake up and not hear this menace? I would give my life to have silence again. It was 1997 I was driving home from vocational school with my ex fiance. It was around 10pm at night time. I was driving and my tinnitus/ears stopped ringing for 1 minute. I stopped my car, stepped outside and shed tears. I thanked my maker for curing me. I never felt such gratitude and appreciation in my life before. Nothing like that. Then my ears started to ring again and I was CRUSHED!

Trust me, I hope they find a cure for this horror. ***At the same time, I know what I face each day. I accept what I face each day. I know that there is no cure. Since all of these elements are true, I KNOW that I have to live my life. I KNOW that I have to make my days count. I KNOW that I have to achieve my goals and move forward.***

I feel your pain and all that suffer, but I also accept my pain. I accept the suffering and live a productive life. I have never done CBT, but I am always grateful for TRT. I careless who likes it or not, it makes no difference to me at all. It saved my life and took my pain in the ears away.

I care for all the members here and you have a guy that been at this for 30 years. I bought all the supplements, all the so called - cures. I bought them all and most of them have failed me.

What I share with you folks is 30 years of blood, sweat and LOTS OF TEARS!

Bless all of you and happy 4th of July

and this is why we need to push for a good treatment and not for habitution. Listen man when I had Mild tinnitus it was like life was ok, but with this its a whole new level of torture. One other thing I dont understand is why the hell aren't people taught about this. This is truly terrifying in all aspects and knowing that it can cause visual snow is scary. People need to be educated that this is a serious condition that can seriously damage an individual's life and reduce it to mere survival.

 

[Bam]

I wish I was 70 and had this. I really wouldnt care at all but the fact that I am 28 with Severe T/H is scary..

We're all scared my friend. That's why we're here and not living our lives like we were before. I never even posted anything online except funny pictures of my dog until this crap hit. Now look at me! You would think I was getting paid to write for TT.

 

[dpdx]

We're all scared my friend. That's why we're here and not living our lives like we were before. I never even posted anything online except funny pictures of my dog until this crap hit. Now look at me! You would think I was getting paid to write for TT.

I never was on a forum up until now either, but this is the only place where us tortured souls go. I developed high blood pressure as a result from the extreme anxiety I am going through.

 

[Sam Bridge]

and this is why we need to push for a good treatment and not for habitution. Listen man when I had Mild tinnitus it was like life was ok, but with this its a whole new level of torture. One other thing I dont understand is why the hell aren't people taught about this. This is truly terrifying in all aspects and knowing that it can cause visual snow is scary. People need to be educated that this is a serious condition that can seriously damage an individual's life and reduce it to mere survival.

What caused it to go severe?

 

[Bam]

I never was on a forum up until now either, but this is the only place where us tortured souls go. I developed high blood pressure as a result from the extreme anxiety I am going through.

I think that might be what creates the floaters right there. I got mine during my psychotic break after T onset. My BP was through the roof when I went to A@E and I could barely walk or move. Apparently when you're in extreme panic for extended periods your blood is being pumped to your vital organs and away from your peripheries. Hence the peripheral damage.

 

[dpdx]

I think that might be what creates the floaters right there. I got mine during my psychotic break after T onset. My BP was through the roof when I went to A@E and I could barely walk or move. Apparently when you're in extreme panic for extended periods your blood is being pumped to your vital organs and away from your peripheries. Hence the peripheral damage.

I would rather choose to die of cancer in 25-30 years or a fatal car crash than have Severe H/Severe T. Hell dark eye floaters are amazing when compared to this.

 

[Bam]

@dpdx and increased T. Again reduced blood flow in the ears. It's too busy going to your heart etc to keep you alive because it thinks you're being attached.....That is how messed up T is. It fries your entire nervous system. That's why there needs to be a cure. That's why it kills people. Period.