I'm Lost with Constant Suicidal Thoughts — My Tinnitus Is All I Can Think About

#32
I went to the ER yesterday. Now hospitalized with severe depression, anxiety, fatigue, insomnia due to tinnitus. I was about to say «farewell and goodnight» so this was just about time. The doctor who welcomed me said «I can see an extremely tired man sitting in front of me».

First day/night and they have been giving me 5 - 6.25 mg Lorazepam (1,25 mg, 1,25 mg, 1,25 mg, 2,5 mg) and Zopiclone for sleep.

These give me a good night's sleep and lowers the anxiety to a tolerable level. However, not at long term solution due to tolerance/addiction.

Have been tapering off 40 mg Escitalopram which I have used for years without any effect. Doctors are now discussing themselves (as with me) introducing another AD (for both depression and anxiety). Any thoughts on what should be the next remedy on the list?

I'm seriously considering asking for some ECT sessions. Although ECT might have been what started this faint, barely noticeable ringing in my left ear, but it could perhaps also be a savior and erase the tinnitus patterns now so very present i my brain.

Remeron is not an option as AD. While meds like Phenergan, Quetiapine etc. have proved useless as sleeping meds.
 
#34
@Pistolpete, hang in there as much as you can but I truly understand your feelings right now and what you are going through. Lorazepam usually works well but as you mentioned is not a long-term solution. 6.25 mg is a considerable amount of this benzo, hope you recover from this. Keep us informed. A big hug.
 
#35
@Pistolpete, it is positive that you are helping yourself. Don't feel bad about that. I was hospitalized with all of the same symptoms. I already had chronic fatigue syndrome, so the tinnitus, with lack of sleep was slowly killing me.

You might ask about crossing over to a long lasting benzo like Valium. I took that over 7-8 weeks in hospital, tapering off as time passed. I continued the taper when I left hospital. There are plenty of antidepressants to try. I was switched from Escitalopram to Venlafaxine. If SSRIs or SNRIs don't work, there is Amitriptyline or Nortriptyline (the older tricyclic antidepressants) and if those don't work, there are Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors (MAOIs).

In hospital, try to let go a little if you can. You are being looked after. Focus less on outside stresses. Get the sleep you need. Try talking to some patients, find out about them and their lives. Talk about yourself, just don't fixate on the tinnitus. Look around you more. Do any sessions that are offered. I repeat, try to let go.

You can feel better there. Give it some time. Refocus.

Best wishes.
 
#36
When my tinnitus started in 1996, it completely ruined my life for all the reasons that have been stated on these forums. Every medical test I had (including three MRIs) came back normal. Even my hearing was above average for my age. I tried all sorts of herbs (Ginkgo biloba was the big one in the late 90s) as well as antidepressants, St. John's Wort, epilepsy meds, EMDR, the Sedona Method, and even considered acupuncture. But nothing worked. I would spend hours in the public library (before I had a computer) researching tinnitus and treatments. I joined a support group that I attended every month in the Washington, DC area. I joined the American Tinnitus Association and got their newsletter.

The depression and anxiety that I've had since I was a child got worse. A good night's sleep was a thing of the past. Enjoying music, movies, and any social activities were history. In 1997, I considered suicide.

(If you want to read about the specific noises I hear, see this).

In 2005, my doctor put me on Lexapro for a totally unrelated issue. Having tried other ADs, I was skeptical. But this particular AD actually worked. The noise in my head eventually faded away to the point where I could focus on living again. I know that not everyone responds to ADs, and some have even said they make their tinnitus worse. But it helped lift me out of a dark place from which I didn't think I'd ever recover. I do still have relapses (as I did earlier this week), but I just have to keep moving forward. And there are newer ADs out there that I may try if I can't snap out of it again.
 
#39
I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, but I'm very happy you're getting help for it. I know there's other medications and things that you could try if you're desperate enough, but nothing with good solid evidence that would work for everyone with tinnitus unfortunately. I struggle with my tinnitus every day and sometimes I feel like I'm being driven insane. When it comes out of nowhere the way it did for us, it's jarring and traumatic. One day you're living your best life and the next day it feels like you're out of your mind. If you ever need anyone to vent to or anything or if I can possibly help in any way feel free to reach out. Try to stay strong though. I think it's good to be involved in communities and rely on others for support. Tinnitus has been very isolating for me so I think it helps me cope better. Hoping one day there'll be a real cure for us.
 
#40
Anthony2019 said:
I am someone who has dealt with tinnitus for over 30 years.

About 7 months ago I was talked into trying a pair of hearing aids by a hearing aid specialist, and it has dramatically reduced the ringing in my ears.

I know you said that you tried hearing aids and it did nothing for you, but I was wondering if you tried a pair of hearing aids and not just one for one ear. One hearing aid did nothing for me but the pair has been a blessing.

Just a thought...
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Is your tinnitus in your head or in your ears?
 
#41
CC_16 said:
I want to commit suicide but too scared to do so. How are you doing now? Do you have it in 1 or 2 ears?
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It looks like you have only had tinnitus for a month. Please don't do anything like this. Things can improve.

If you need help, there are many here to talk to and maybe seek professional help.

I hope you get better.
 
#42
To the OP...

I know everyone's case is different but I definitely think already having anxiety and OCD makes this condition worse.

I suffer from anxiety and OCD myself and my story is very similar to yours. I think I have always heard some slight ringing (not sure) but over the last couple years I have used headphones and listened to some loud music. I have also had some weird stuff going on like waking up with my ears being completely wet, bad itching, chunks in my ear canal and my outer ear weeping and scapped up. I just went on with life and while I always heard a bit or ringing, I thought it was pretty normal. Some mornings I would wake up with my ears ringing louder than normal but they would go back down to a quieter hum.

I've had insomnia for a long time but it was never from hearing noises. One night my ears were ringing a bit louder than normal and I started walking around listening to power plugs etc. When I realized it was definitely my ears, I had a major panic attack and jumped on the internet to read horror stories. I immediately started blaming myself and everything ramped up x10. I could all of a sudden no longer sleep and heard it non-stop. Nothing I have done over the last few months should have caused it to increase. I haven't used headphones in awhile, no medications, maybe some Benadryl but no loud noises. When I freaked out the noise was no different than what I've been hearing for awhile but I went looking for it and it ramped it all up.

I ended up in the ER and the doctor just said it happens and sent me on my way with some AD pills but I later read they were not good to take so I never took them. I still struggle mightily with sleep now as it's been a few weeks. It's just so crazy how this never really bothered me before and now I'm so focused on it.

I was scared to lie down at night and my mom stayed with me for over a week (I'm 41). The biggest thing that has helped me is getting drunk before bed. I like to drink but I was never a person to do it every night. For the last two weeks I have drank every night. I started from getting really drunk and passing out to having maybe 4 or 5 drinks and going to bed. The last few days I haven't drank at all before bed. I've been taking Magnesium, Turmeric, and Melatonin before bed. I still struggle to sleep but I think and hope I'm gradually getting better. I recently lost my job but it had nothing to do with this. I have some money saved and I'm taking time to getting back on track. Luckily for me if I toss and turn until the sun comes up, I can sleep in late when I finally fall asleep. The crazy thing is how this never bothered my sleep pattern at least to my knowledge to being completely locked in on it now.

I'm hoping to get back to what was my normal and I feel I'm getting back there although tiny steps and not near there yet. The one thing I can tell you is to try and relax the best you can and give your ears a rest to try and heal them. I'll never put headphones on again, go in a really loud place etc.

For me the two absolute worse things for my specific condition was panicking and not getting any sleep. It made everything so much worse. Your story sounds a lot like mine and I hope this helps.
 
#43
WisconsinGuy said:
To the OP...

I know everyone's case is different but I definitely think already having anxiety and OCD makes this condition worse.

I suffer from anxiety and OCD myself and my story is very similar to yours. I think I have always heard some slight ringing (not sure) but over the last couple years I have used headphones and listened to some loud music. I have also had some weird stuff going on like waking up with my ears being completely wet, bad itching, chunks in my ear canal and my outer ear weeping and scapped up. I just went on with life and while I always heard a bit or ringing, I thought it was pretty normal. Some mornings I would wake up with my ears ringing louder than normal but they would go back down to a quieter hum.

I've had insomnia for a long time but it was never from hearing noises. One night my ears were ringing a bit louder than normal and I started walking around listening to power plugs etc. When I realized it was definitely my ears, I had a major panic attack and jumped on the internet to read horror stories. I immediately started blaming myself and everything ramped up x10. I could all of a sudden no longer sleep and heard it non-stop. Nothing I have done over the last few months should have caused it to increase. I haven't used headphones in awhile, no medications, maybe some Benadryl but no loud noises. When I freaked out the noise was no different than what I've been hearing for awhile but I went looking for it and it ramped it all up.

I ended up in the ER and the doctor just said it happens and sent me on my way with some AD pills but I later read they were not good to take so I never took them. I still struggle mightily with sleep now as it's been a few weeks. It's just so crazy how this never really bothered me before and now I'm so focused on it.

I was scared to lie down at night and my mom stayed with me for over a week (I'm 41). The biggest thing that has helped me is getting drunk before bed. I like to drink but I was never a person to do it every night. For the last two weeks I have drank every night. I started from getting really drunk and passing out to having maybe 4 or 5 drinks and going to bed. The last few days I haven't drank at all before bed. I've been taking Magnesium, Turmeric, and Melatonin before bed. I still struggle to sleep but I think and hope I'm gradually getting better. I recently lost my job but it had nothing to do with this. I have some money saved and I'm taking time to getting back on track. Luckily for me if I toss and turn until the sun comes up, I can sleep in late when I finally fall asleep. The crazy thing is how this never bothered my sleep pattern at least to my knowledge to being completely locked in on it now.

I'm hoping to get back to what was my normal and I feel I'm getting back there although tiny steps and not near there yet. The one thing I can tell you is to try and relax the best you can and give your ears a rest to try and heal them. I'll never put headphones on again, go in a really loud place etc.

For me the two absolute worse things for my specific condition was panicking and not getting any sleep. It made everything so much worse. Your story sounds a lot like mine and I hope this helps.
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Can you take any meds to fall asleep? Do you have tinnitus in 1 or 2 ears? Did you take steroids?
 
#44
Pistolpete said:
First of all, excuse my English.

By the end of November last year I noticed a faint ringing in my left ear, a low constant beeping sound. It was initially barely noticeable in silent environment (and for all I know it may have been there a while already when I first noticed it), however I was terrified and from here everything has gone straight to hell and I instantly found myself in a vicious spiral which has sent me into a living nightmare with depression and anxiety (both of which I am familiar with from earlier in my life, but this I just so much worse)

The sound instantly became all I could think of. In silent environments I would constantly listen to it and when I couldn't hear it (which after all was most of the time) I would still constantly listen for, obsessing and ruminating over it. (I am prone to OCD). It became a matter of life and death to get rid of it, and in the initial weeks I was hopeful it would go away. I went to see an ENT, who couldn't find anything physical wrong with my ears, but a standard hearing test found a small loss of high frequency hearing on my left ear. I have had an MRI, which was fine. I have seen a physiotherapist and naprapath without finding any relief. I have spent hundreds of hours on the web reading about tinnitus, several of this time spent on this forum which I'm afraid hasn't benefited my case at all. I have also tried hearing aids which I didn't find helpful at all, neither with masking programs turned on. My tinnitus seems to compete with any kind of masking I throw at it and just turns up the volume. In the initial months I would actually prefer complete silence as it was easier to deal with the tinnitus alone rather than listening to it in contrast to environmental sound.

During December the volume and character of the sound was more or less unchanged, maybe the volume increased a bit, but in January the sound grew louder and changed to a louder more hissing type which I found way more intrusive. I can't think of any other reason for this development than the fact that I for weeks now had spent every waking hour using 99% of my cognitive capacity dealing with it (in a most negative way). By now I found myself more or less mentally disabled, unable to do any of the things I used to (love). I can't work, I left my hobbies behind, I can't take care of my children, I even had to send my dog away so someone else could take care of her, and I guess I am more or less unable to take care of myself. The last months I haven't been able to get as much as a second of relief and I consider my life to be over and have constant suicidal thoughts.

In the middle of February it got really ugly when it started affect me sleep. I would wake up at night with the sound louder than ever, panicking and unable to fall asleep again. Some nights I couldn't sleep at all, others I would get like a total of 3-4 hours of interrupted bad sleep - this hasn't improved and for three weeks now I have been more or less dependent on benzo to get a couple of hours sleep. The sound has now become even more intrusive, a loud hissing/static sound which I can hear over everything, it scares the living hell out of me, and of course I have now also started to hear a sound in my right ear as well. My brain and body feels completely wrecked. I am hypersensitive, I have headache, sometimes pain in my ears, teeth, throat, face. I have pain in my back, I'm nauseous, have shivers, can't eat...

I have been on AD (SSRI - Escitalopram) for a couple of months now, this hasn't helped stopping this horrible downward spiral at all. For the last three weeks I've been taking 30 mg Sobril (Oxazepam) a couple of hours before going to sleep, and I guess I'm already in danger of developing tolerance/addiction and risking that the use of benzo now is contraindicated.

What started with a faint and harmful beeping sound - I have obviously mentally dealt with in a way that has created a monster! Any chance this could return to where it all started?

I'm under the impression that most people that have sudden onset of tinnitus usually don't experience a continuous worsening (rather the opposite). I could probably eventually have learned to cope with the initial sound once the the anxiety/depression was under control, but the fact that I seem to be able to worsen the tinnitus by dealing with it in a very negative way freaks me out. This isn't a spike but as if my constant focus on the sound actually makes changes in my brain/neuroactivity so that the volume is gradually turning up and the character of the sound changes. I have been monitoring my "good ear" as well, and what other reason than this constant awareness could be the reason that I eventually experience tinnitus in this ear as well. I have considered if it's just my anxiety 'playing tricks with me', but it is quite obvious that my condition is gradually worsening when comparing my tinnitus (volume and character) to environmental sounds in my everyday life.
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Wow, I mean, you have kids, you didn't do anything or take anything to cause tinnitus, and you think that researching it made it worse with anxiety. You even take drugs like an antidepressant (an antidepressant gave me tinnitus) and benzos which can have tinnitus as a discontinuation side effect. You're struggling with suicide; yes me too. I can't imagine a person who has kids would ever think of suicide.

I think the reason my life is so unfortunate and that I am so sad all the time is because my mother committed suicide when I was 14. I remember sitting on my bed all alone to stunned to cry thinking that I will never see or talk to, or even hug my mom ever again. She shot herself in the chest I think, but no one would really talk to me about it.

So, Since I was 14 up until now 26 I have been depressed and have always avoided taking drugs my idiot doctor would prescribe me. It wasn't until I graduated college during the pandemic and couldn't get a decent paying job in any office even in my field of study, and a few more events that pushed me to take a drug I never wanted to take and something I knew would only do more damaged than good. But everyone said it take 1 month for antidepressants to kick in, and that I had already lost enough of my life to sitting in my room and crying that I needed to change, and the propaganda was that these drugs can change the years of structural changes that depression has on the brain.

I took the antidepressant Pristiq 50 mg for 3 weeks and stopped immediately when I couldn't sleep because it sounded like trains were trying to stop on track in my brain as well as with an intense buzz all throughout my brain. My idiot doctor sent me to get blood drawn because she didn't think the drug did it. Stupid b!tch mindless doctor ruined my life.

For 10 years I was depressed. Now after 3 weeks of taking an antidepressant and it giving me severe permanent tinnitus that I have struggled with like you everyday, every second of every waking minute I suffer with the fact I took a drug that gave this to me that I never wanted to take from a idiot doctor. My depression is much much worse and by that I mean I stop myself from tying a belt around my neck and driving to the store to buy a gun. I'm 26 I have no real friends and I hate the ones I let in my life. I've never had a girlfriend, and just barely got a job that pays me enough to support myself on an extremely low living budget.

I'd like to give myself 2-3 more years to see if the tinnitus will go away, but by then my 20s are finally over and I am officially never going to get a girl that is physically attractive or even a decent human because the race is done, they had kids and got married. So imagine my life, you think you want to kill yourself, you at least have children that you have to provide for that you had. That should be enough to get up and work for. But what do I have, a broken past and a hard future that I can't enjoy because I'm mentally ill with depression and now OCD and ADHD because of how loud and constant my tinnitus is.

I can't even watch a movie without it on max volume to not hear my tinnitus. I can't drive in my car without listening to loud music to stop me from being a reckless driver with anxiety, trying not to kill myself just going to the grocery store to buy food to continue this miserable cycle.

I've been to 5 ENTs. I had an MRI. My hearing is perfect, I don't have brain cancer. Pristiq that terrible drug gave me this condition that has worsen my previous condition that was already life threatening mentally.

The worse part is I keep thinking that the tinnitus is going to go away. It's been a fucking year and it's still ringing loud and constant. Maybe only reduced by 10-15% after 1 year. Then when I start to get anxious, just sitting minding my own business because this shit is always on my mind, I start to pace and eventually start cussing and punching myself. I can't take many more of these cycles because one day it will escalate into me getting so sick of this I will shoot myself in the head. Suicide runs in my family, not only my mother killed herself but my uncle, and great grandfather too.

I have nothing to live for, tinnitus has ruined my life and I have no hope to ever enjoy my life because of how over sensitized I am to things and the way my anger is unhinged and I will aim it at anyone for anything they done that aggravates me.

It sucks and life sucks, I can win and no one helps me. Not even when I posted my introduction story did anyone leave me a reply. Your tinnitus has a good chance at going away, but I have no idea since mine is from taking a drug and I would have never had tinnitus if I never took that drug.

I've also been suffering longer than you and am younger it seems. So my anger and aggression wouldn't play a part here, but what am i suppose to say to you, if you know what I mean. You have kids and I don't. I haven't killed myself yet so neither should you. I guess that is what I'm saying. But If you do want to, please do it when your kids are able to support themselves.
 
#45
InfiniteLoop said:
@Pistolpete, I was in the same condition as you are for several years... It is terrible, but I assure you that it can be overcome and life can be livable and even enjoyable again. Stop blaming yourself, your depression is not making the tinnitus worse, it is all about your perception of it. My tinnitus was relatively mild the first few weeks and then grew up to where it is now. I blamed myself also, the wrong personality to deal with this kind of trouble and indeed somehow I was stupid to get this terrible condition because of something that I did or I did not. It does not matter, forget about that kind of reasoning. You have to try to dissociate from the noise, and at some point in time, your days will become more or less independent of the tinnitus level. The best medicine is time passing by, this condition does not get better, but you can get better. You can not have silence, you can still have peace. Now I can enjoy music again, I am not being afraid of loud noises, take long trips, have relatively normal focus at work, etc... It is not the same as before and it is just fine.

I have been taking antidepressants for years, and benzos from time to time. I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine to go through some tough nights. I will do whatever it takes to get through this condition and continue alive. Do not be afraid of the noise in your head...
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I have read a few of your posts. I like your insight and honesty.

A 5 month relapse for me. Back to anxiety, panic, depression etc...

So frustrating for me to understand the nuts and bolts (intellectually) of habituation, but I can't seem to get there myself. Filled with fear this will be my ongoing reality now.

I can tell from your posts that you understand what it is like to go from mild, very livable tinnitus to increased volumes.

You've stated that you need to dissociate from the sound. I haven't been able to do that. Are you able to share anything that might have helped you detach from it so it no longer matters what the noise level is from day to day.

Last year I was in a better place, as in I largely didn't hear it and when I did, it wasn't bothering me. Now back to this!

I think your post screams 'acceptance'. You said 'you cannot have silence but you can have peace'. How did you achieve this? You sound very tenacious. My anxiety and depression have really become very exaggerated, and am terrified of making this worse with medications to help me deal with the reality of my situation alongside the lack of sleep.

I really think fear for me is a driving factor. How on earth did you stop being frightened?

I have reached out to many people now. Whilst it helps at the time to hear testimonies etc, it hasn't helped me rehabituate. I am hoping to start therapy with someone who deals with trauma, and has worked a lot with people with tinnitus and anxiety. Maybe this will help me.
 
#46
@DebInAustralia, there is no magic recipe for habituation, and I do not consider myself a good example of it. I still have up and downs, and I am not immune to relapse. Simply, the anxiety is more manageable because I know the range of my tinnitus and there are no surprises or additional fears. Music is very important to me and the fact that I can listen to it again and enjoyed it has really helped me. Peace comes from being calm listening to the noise.

Habituation can be understood intellectually, but it is an emotional process and that is why the intellectual analysis does not lead to habituation.
 
#47
InfiniteLoop said:
@DebInAustralia, there is no magic recipe for habituation, and I do not consider myself a good example of it. I still have up and downs, and I am not immune to relapse. Simply, the anxiety is more manageable because I know the range of my tinnitus and there are no surprises or additional fears. Music is very important to me and the fact that I can listen to it again and enjoyed it has really helped me. Peace comes from being calm listening to the noise.

Habituation can be understood intellectually, but it is an emotional process and that is why the intellectual analysis does not lead to habituation.
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I know there is no magical recipe for habituation, but I do find it helpful to hear how others have achieved peace. I currently do not have this. My situation has now escalated to me voicing to my partner 'that I cannot do this anymore...' I feel terrible for putting him through this, but I am myself reaching a point that I cannot bear to go on without something to give me hope. I hear it all around me, and it induces such feelings of torment and claustrophobia, I cannot even begin to describe. I am fearful for my future. I never thought I would ever appear on Tinnitus Talk in this state, and I am sorry for letting others down. But, this is my reality right now.
 
#48
I'm doing better. Not at all great, but coping somehow and not suicidal. The last week I haven't spent a minute here on this forum and I'm not planning to do so until i hopefully can come back and write some kind of success story.

Until then, I'm out :)
 
#51
May and June were good months - the depression left and I was able to be somewhat optimistic about the future. Tinnitus didn't leave but I was thinking less about it and able to enjoy things in my life.

However, the loudness/pitch continued to worsen, and as months were passing, so did my ability to stay positive/cope. This autumn has been horrible and I am now back in a black hole with severe depression and anxiety and really I just want to die!
 
#52
Pistolpete said:
However, the loudness/pitch continued to worsen, and as months were passing, so did my ability to stay positive/cope. This autumn has been horrible and I am now back in a black hole with severe depression and anxiety and really I just want to die!
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Sorry to hear about this worsening.

What do you think caused it?
 
#53
Jupiterman said:
What do you think caused it?
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My tinnitus has been progressively worsening since onset late 2021. When I got out of the depression in May, I found it easier to deal with the sound and I was somewhat optimistic I could learn to live with this if it could get a little bit better or at least stop worsening. I was still monitoring my tinnitus a lot - and it just kept getting worse. Although I tried to stay calm and tell myself it was only my reaction/anxiety - eventually the shield broke. I still think obsessing and ruminating is what keeps this getting worse.

It's like your doctor telling you you've got cancer but you'll be ok if you don't think about it (otherwise it will spread, get worse and eventually kill you). But you can't stop thinking about it.

I visualize that monitoring/ruminating increasing my neural activity, leading to louder/more intrusive tinnitus, which again leads to more monitoring/ruminating... and so on! And worsening seems permanent. It's a neverending cycle, spiraling downwards.
 
#54
Anthony2019 said:
I use the Phonak Audeo P50 hearing aids. Receiver in the Canal.
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Are those Bluetooth with the lithium rechargeable batteries? Do you use your phone to operate them? Did you buy them from an Audiologist or from a discount seller online?

Thanks.
 
#55
just1morething said:
Are those Bluetooth with the lithium rechargeable batteries? Do you use your phone to operate them? Did you buy them from an Audiologist or from a discount seller online?

Thanks.
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They are Bluetooth with lithium rechargeable batteries. You can use the phone app to operate them or make basic changes manually (like volume control or turning them on and off). You can buy them at a hearing aid center. Just bring in your last audiogram report. The hearing aids are good, the app is average. Most hearing aid app are average at best. The P30 model may work just as well.
 
#56
I'd just like to throw my 2 cents in the ring here as well and say that I know how you're feeling, @Pistolpete. As of February this year, what I would consider manageable tinnitus that I've had for most of my life, has turned into a nightmarish experience for me. To where I now have a very intense hiss in my left ear that constantly fluctuates in intensity and volume. I have the same hiss in my right ear but to a far lesser degree.

Currently lost in a sea of anxiety, panic and helplessness but want to try different supplements to see if they can't maybe bring the volume down a little. I understand now why some people can't seem to habituate to their tinnitus. What I will say though is that what keeps me going is the hope that one day we'll have a pill that can quiet or reduce the volume of this horrible ailment, it seems like there are a lot of promising developments on the horizon so don't give up hope. I'm OCD and suffer from anxiety so having what I would consider severe tinnitus on top of that is not fun. Life is still worth living though and you may find in a year or 2s time it's far more manageable than it seems at the moment.
 
#57
XiviaN said:
I'd just like to throw my 2 cents in the ring here as well and say that I know how you're feeling, @Pistolpete. As of February this year, what I would consider manageable tinnitus that I've had for most of my life, has turned into a nightmarish experience for me. To where I now have a very intense hiss in my left ear that constantly fluctuates in intensity and volume. I have the same hiss in my right ear but to a far lesser degree.

Currently lost in a sea of anxiety, panic and helplessness but want to try different supplements to see if they can't maybe bring the volume down a little. I understand now why some people can't seem to habituate to their tinnitus. What I will say though is that what keeps me going is the hope that one day we'll have a pill that can quiet or reduce the volume of this horrible ailment, it seems like there are a lot of promising developments on the horizon so don't give up hope. I'm OCD and suffer from anxiety so having what I would consider severe tinnitus on top of that is not fun. Life is still worth living though and you may find in a year or 2s time it's far more manageable than it seems at the moment.
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I would drink piss for the bliss of a hiss.

P.S. Susan Shore's device is coming out relatively soon, as is XEN1101.
 
#58
AnthonyMcDonald said:
I would drink piss for the bliss of a hiss.

P.S. Susan Shore's device is coming out relatively soon, as is XEN1101.
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Let's hope for the best! I'm always hopeful that something comes out that helps, whether that be Susan Shore's device or XEN1101.

I will say that mine is very weird to describe, it almost always intensifies to the point of being in the forefront of anything that I'm listening to regardless of what it is. It's also worse in large areas with a lot of ambient sound, like if I'm outside, so it's probably a bit reactive as well. Imagine a hiss that constantly shifts in its pitch and intensity almost like my neurons are firing off all the time.

XEN1101 is like a reformulated Trobalt, right?
 
#60
Pistolpete said:
My tinnitus has been progressively worsening since onset late 2021. When I got out of the depression in May, I found it easier to deal with the sound and I was somewhat optimistic I could learn to live with this if it could get a little bit better or at least stop worsening. I was still monitoring my tinnitus a lot - and it just kept getting worse. Although I tried to stay calm and tell myself it was only my reaction/anxiety - eventually the shield broke. I still think obsessing and ruminating is what keeps this getting worse.

It's like your doctor telling you you've got cancer but you'll be ok if you don't think about it (otherwise it will spread, get worse and eventually kill you). But you can't stop thinking about it.

I visualize that monitoring/ruminating increasing my neural activity, leading to louder/more intrusive tinnitus, which again leads to more monitoring/ruminating... and so on! And worsening seems permanent. It's a neverending cycle, spiraling downwards.
Click to expand...
How are you doing these days @Pistolpete? Please update us, I see you are still visiting the forum. Your status update from January sounded positive ("really quiet tinnitus"!).

I wonder if our cases are similar. While my tinnitus is from acoustic trauma, it has also been progressively getting worse while I am stuck monitoring/ruminating about it (I did something stupid to bring it onto myself).
 

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