A short introduction, my name is Magnus, I am a Swedish 16 year old and I have absolutely no idea of how I got tinnitus. (English is not my mother tongue, so you have to excuse my language and grammar.)
So about 8 months ago I sat in my room and noticed that the noise of my computer was still there, although my computer was turned off. I did not care much about it, but the next morning when I woke up and noticed that the sound was still there, I got almost paralyzed of fear and in a blink of an eye I thought my life was over. It started as a wind sound in both of my ears, and then a very high pitched note in my left ear appeared.
The first months was living hell for me and I thought to myself that I did not want to live anymore. In just a few months I was completely changed as a person (in a bad way). I did not want to go to school, I did not want to talk to my family and friends, I just wanted to sit alone in my room and cry. The more I listened to the sound the more I could hear it, and the more I could hear it the more sad and depressed I became. It felt like a never ending circle of anxiety and depression.
My biggest passion is music and my dream is to become a musician, so when I got tinnitus I thought that my life was over. (I have always used ear protection and have never been on a concert, so I am pretty sure my tinnitus is not caused by that.) I though to myself, how would i ever enjoy music again with this sound in my ears? So I stopped with music, I put my double bass down and I did not touch it for a few months.
I went to a doctor who checked my hearing, and to my surprise was my hearing way better than the average 16 year old. It made me happy but it made me think. What was the cause of my tinnitus?
About 5 months in, I sat on the subway on my way home from school and the train driver said it would take 1 hour extra to get home so i though it was a good time to listen to music. (It was the first time I listened to music since I got tinnitus, I had read the warnings online about not using headphones, so I was very careful and had the volume on very low). I put the headphones on and started to listen, after a while I realized that I did not hear the tinnitus, so I paused the music and to my disappointment, it was still there. But, I was super happy because it was the first time I have forgotten the tinnitus since I got it. That was also the occasion when I figured I had to do something about my depression and to my tinnitus.
Now I am sitting in front of my computer with tinnitus screaming in both of my ears, but the big difference now is that I try not to care about my tinnitus. I would even say I am a happier person now than before I got tinnitus. Tinnitus really made me realize what is important in life. I go to a music high school here in Stockholm where I play electric and double bass everyday, I have a good relationship with my friends and family and tinnitus is not even my nr. 1 problem anymore.
There are a few songs that I would like to share that really helped me (some of them are in Swedish)
So about 8 months ago I sat in my room and noticed that the noise of my computer was still there, although my computer was turned off. I did not care much about it, but the next morning when I woke up and noticed that the sound was still there, I got almost paralyzed of fear and in a blink of an eye I thought my life was over. It started as a wind sound in both of my ears, and then a very high pitched note in my left ear appeared.
The first months was living hell for me and I thought to myself that I did not want to live anymore. In just a few months I was completely changed as a person (in a bad way). I did not want to go to school, I did not want to talk to my family and friends, I just wanted to sit alone in my room and cry. The more I listened to the sound the more I could hear it, and the more I could hear it the more sad and depressed I became. It felt like a never ending circle of anxiety and depression.
My biggest passion is music and my dream is to become a musician, so when I got tinnitus I thought that my life was over. (I have always used ear protection and have never been on a concert, so I am pretty sure my tinnitus is not caused by that.) I though to myself, how would i ever enjoy music again with this sound in my ears? So I stopped with music, I put my double bass down and I did not touch it for a few months.
I went to a doctor who checked my hearing, and to my surprise was my hearing way better than the average 16 year old. It made me happy but it made me think. What was the cause of my tinnitus?
About 5 months in, I sat on the subway on my way home from school and the train driver said it would take 1 hour extra to get home so i though it was a good time to listen to music. (It was the first time I listened to music since I got tinnitus, I had read the warnings online about not using headphones, so I was very careful and had the volume on very low). I put the headphones on and started to listen, after a while I realized that I did not hear the tinnitus, so I paused the music and to my disappointment, it was still there. But, I was super happy because it was the first time I have forgotten the tinnitus since I got it. That was also the occasion when I figured I had to do something about my depression and to my tinnitus.
Now I am sitting in front of my computer with tinnitus screaming in both of my ears, but the big difference now is that I try not to care about my tinnitus. I would even say I am a happier person now than before I got tinnitus. Tinnitus really made me realize what is important in life. I go to a music high school here in Stockholm where I play electric and double bass everyday, I have a good relationship with my friends and family and tinnitus is not even my nr. 1 problem anymore.
There are a few songs that I would like to share that really helped me (some of them are in Swedish)
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