I'm New... Scared and Really Depressed :(

[glynis]

Kay,
We are all here for you any time.
Don't put any Pressure on youself and just concentrate on eating something,holding your baby a while and setting some sleep .
Ask your doctor for sleeping tablets and play soft relaxing natural sounds at night.
If you have a app on your phone down load Relax and Sleep to help you sleep and play it below your tinnitus or mixing point.
I can not give you medical advise only your doctor .MIND and the Samaritans are a good support and Im happy talk on the phone with you anytime.
YOU WILL get through this I promise you duck ....lots of love glynis

 

[glynis]

Kay ,
I am use to taking calls on the BTA and run a tinnitus support group with a other lady.
I have been supporting people with tinnitus over 5 years and had tinnitus 11 years .
Happy talk with you on the phone at no cost to you if in the Uk and will ring you if you pm me your number and confidential .
Stay strong duck ....lots of love glynis

 

[eric peterson]

P.s health visitor was unavailable...and when i ask my bf to help me he just shouts at me now "what am i sposed to do...." im so lost and im never gonna survive this

Kay, it is completely normal to feel overwhelmed early on when you first get tinnitus. Know that the vast majority of people with tinnitus (even very loud, intrusive tinnitus) move on and live very normal, very happy lives. It is very rare for it to be a long term problem for anyone. But the first few months can be very rough. It will slowly get better with time, and get to a point where you don't really notice it at all for very long periods. Try to keep some music on in the background when you're at home to avoid complete silence. If there's anything that you want to know about what to expect in the first months of tinnitus, or anyway I can help, please, let me know.

good luck,

Eric

 

[AnxiousJon]

Anxiety meds aren't just for people who are experiencing anxiety apart from an experience; they are also for people who are sent into a manic state by an experience(such as your tinnitus). Have you taken the anxiety med yet? If you haven't, then it is no wonder you haven't slept. Part of your anxiety is you are projecting into the future things you can't. You don't know if you will have the tinnitus 3 days from now or it will be gone. Unless you have hyper-acusis(tinnitus getting louder and hurting when you hear normal sounds), you can mask your tinnitus with music or ambient sounds as Glynis prescribed.
Again, don't project your current experience into the future, but make some current changes in your lifestyle. Quiet time was an important part of your life; for now you need to replace that with music time. You weren't in this kind of manic state before; now you need to take an anxiety med, and possibly a sleep med. After a while, you probably won't need the meds because you WILL aclamate to this; but for now, you need the meds. Alot of people have tinnitus that comes and goes for a days or weeks at a time; this could just go away. This could a temporary reaction to your meds which you can have changed. Do not project this into the future.
It is very understandable why you are responding this way to tinnitus, but you are respondin to it; you need meds to help you respond in a non-manic way; it's okay; use them. Change; take responsibility for your daughter, and to relieve your boyfriend. To do all this you need sleep FIRST, and you need to calm yourself down. Please do not post anymore responses, Kay, until you can confirm you have taken your anxiety med; it is your next step if you haven't done it; do it.
And if everyone can agree that what has been said so far is sufficient, then let there be no more responses for anyone else either--until we have received confirmation from Kay, that she has taken her meds. She does not need more reasoning; she needs to take medication to bring her down from this manic state, and she needs medication-induced sleep.

 

[Sailboardman]

@Kay86,

You mention several times, in your replies, of ending it all. Intially, many of us have been there. However, instead of thinking like that, think of ways to live. You have more choices at living, than at dying. You know what you have in this world, but have no idea what lies beyond in the next. The grass may seem greener on the other side now, but what if it isn't? There is no way back, no do overs, no return ticket!

Re-read, all the responses to your posts and realize, there are veterans here, that know what their talking about. They have been in your position and have made it through. There are no shortcuts to getting better at the moment, time is the only healer. You also may awaken one morning and be T free! What a waste it would be, not to have been here for that day and for your loved ones.

 

[Kay86]

Thank you for all ur replies and im so sorry im frantic and i understand your frustration with me Anxiousjon but ive just had a baby and im trying to get ised to my life being changed by having her....not to mention i had pre eclampsia and a very traumatic birth...i was ill and didnt spend anytime with her for first few weeks then i had a good week and now ive been smacked with this and it feels like a life sentence....i feel lost and nowhere to turn...ive phoned everyone i can to try and help me...the reason im not taking my meds....well for the anxiety is because i searched if the interaction with labetalol would affect the tinnitus and it said in some cases it can....and im so frightened and scared i dont wanna take that risk....you all have been so kind and i hope everyone that has replied is reading this....
Ive had such a hard time and i keeping trying to cope...its so lovely having ppl to talk to and share how im feeling too but at the same time to success stories are few and far between and its scaring me more....hearing people have had it for so many years is the end of me....i wont be able to do it. How horrible to talk like that? But its true i know my mind and my bodh and i cant wait around years to be free of this...im not strong enough...

 

[Kay86]

Also if i could mask it i would :'( ive tried and i cant :'( Im awake all the time now :'(

 

[glynis]

Hi Kay,
I have had tinnitus 11 years but it's due to Menieres Disease.
You have a lot to cope with getting use to being a mummy and having a baby totally depending on you but let family help you.

Tinnitus came but don't let it grind you down.
Try to get in a daily routine with your baby,
Time for you,time for meals,time to rest and time for sleep ..
Don't worry about anything else and it will get easier and enjoy your baby.

When me and my twin sister were borne my mum had internal bleeding and we were in a different hospital from her for weeks and no harm done and lots . of time to make up.

You could have the baby blues also so get the support you need and try not to worry.

We can support you with tinnitus and 'm make friends around the world too.

Stay strong and don't be afraid to ask for help .....take care ....lots of love glynis

 

[ceauses97]

Who said you have to deal with this for years? It may be gone tomorrow, who knows. you dont want to give up. I got tinnitus one month ago and im still hoping it will go away, and I'm sure it will. I think you have been reading to many scary stories on the internet. do you think the same way when dealing with headache? or other pains? no, because you know it will go away eventually. think about the same way with tinnitus. yes, it may take some time. maybe weeks, even months, but hopefully and most likely, your tinnitus will be gone. just give it time. the reason there are so few success stories is due to the fact that no one wants to be remined of this disorder. they just want to forget it. In the real life, many of us excperience tinnitus at some point in their life. it can be noice-induced, because of stress, meds, tumour, whatever. the causes are many. my point is that in most of these cases tinnitus go away on its own, and its unusual that it becomes chronic.

dont give up your hope. thats the only thing keeping us alive. just do like me every night when trying to sleep, take a deep breath and think at it like this way: yes, I may suffer now, but exactly one year from now, I will be okay, and my tinnitus will be gone. Just keep repeating that to yourself till you feel asleep, and you will be okay.

take care huh.

 

[linearb]

dont give up your hope. thats the only thing keeping us alive. just do like me every night when trying to sleep, take a deep breath and think at it like this way: yes, I may suffer now, but exactly one year from now, I will be okay, and my tinnitus will be gone. Just keep repeating that to yourself till you feel asleep, and you will be okay.

this might be an okay strategy for new sufferers, but I'd make myself crazy if I still thought like that -- and, really, this whole way of thinking is pretty contrary to the idea of acceptance/mindfulness. It's striving. Wishing for things to be other than they are right now, brings us pain and suffering... not peace.

 

[ceauses97]

@linearb

what strategy? why would anyone think differently before being 99 % sure that their tinnitus was something they have to deal with the rest of their life? why should someone accept something that could be gone tomorrow? i dont have any direct souces, but I got told by the ENT that for 80 % the tinnitus resolves on its own. yes, i know it depends on the cause, but in this case, that is more likely to be the scenario, knowing that the threadstarter isnt suffering from any type of hearling loss. And not to seem like a downer, but ofcourse my way of thinking wont work for you, since you have been dealing with T since 1998. hey, dont get me wrong, im not here to disrespect anyone. my point is that for people like me, people who only have been suffering from tinnitus for couple of weeks, or months, hope is the only key that makes us function in our daily life. Its the hope that keeps us away from depression. Being optimistic doesnt brings us pain and suffer, it brings us peace.

 

[AnxiousJon]

well for the anxiety is because i searched if the interaction with labetalol would affect the tinnitus and it said in some cases it can

Can you link to the source please? I'd like to see it.
The thing about acute anxiety is that really does seem like the things you are thinking about are the problem; it doesn't seem like an excessive state of mania; it really does seem like whatever you are afraid of is much larger than it is. I should know.

 

[linearb]

my point is that for people like me, people who only have been suffering from tinnitus for couple of weeks, or months, hope is the only key that makes us function in our daily life. Its the hope that keeps us away from depression. Being optimistic doesnt brings us pain and suffer, it brings us peace.

okay, sure, this is your opinion, and that's fine -- my own opinion is that, basically, striving/judging is counterproductive and brings me more grief than anything else. "Optimism" in the sense of "I hope that things will, at some point, be better and different than they are right now", isn't a thought that brings me peace -- it causes me to pass a negative judgement on current circumstances. So, I see that kind of thinking as actually magnifying and exacerbating my dissatisfaction with the current situation, more than providing any kind of relief. The thing that helps me to function in my daily life is to just do it, accept the cards as they have been dealt, etc. I did a lot of this kind of "optimistic" thinking early on, and I don't believe it was helpful; in fact, it probably held me back from the things which are helpful to me.

Everyone has to work this stuff out on their own, though. I am not implying there's a cosmic right or wrong to any of this. If you're happy in the current moment and think your current umwelt is benefitting you, far be it from me to suggest otherwise.

 

[Lorac]

@Kay86,
Have you tried making an appointment with a therapist? A psychologist might be helpful to you right now. I understand how doomed you feel, how trapped and afraid you feel. I felt the same way and it helped me to work with a psychologist. Many other people on this forum have been where you are right now. There are really hundreds of people here who are success stories. We have been where you are and we are not there now. That is success!
You will be successful too. It might take time and a little help but things will get better for you. How is your baby doing? Is she a healthy baby?

 

[billie48]

Also if i could mask it i would :'( ive tried and i cant :'( Im awake all the time now :'(

Can you explain what type of masking you are using? Masking is very important in the initial phase because it can help you buffer from the mad ringing and the resulting anxiety. If you feel you have some control over T, then your anxiety level will go down. A few years back, when my ultra high pitch dog whistle T hit me, I had to mask all day. Here is some suggestions for masking:
1) At bed time, try a sound machine or a sound pillow.
2) If your partner doesn't want sound, ask him to wear a ear plug to sleep or sleep in another room. If that is not possible, you may see if the sound pillow can help, or even an earbud from an ipod or smart phone. That was what I had to do initially.
3) An ipad loaded with nature sounds or your favorite music (using itune), or a smart phone can be used for masking on-the-go.
4) If you have PC speakers, then try these following sites for great masking sounds:

TT's own audio player:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/audioplayer/

more sounds from free 'aire freshener':
http://www.peterhirschberg.com/mysoftware.html

You can make your own soothing rain sounds with this rain generator by moving the bars up and down:
http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/rainNoiseGenerator.php

If you want to learn more about masking, you can search TT with 'masking' and you should get loads of threads on the subject.

Save these sites as favorites on your bookmark bar and you can have them easy. Good luck with masking. You can do it and you can get better. Give it time.

 

[Kay86]

Thank you so much for ur replies.
I havnt made any appointments with any other professionals at the moment.
My health visitor wants to try and send me to the ENT and audiology but again so many ppl have been down this path and come out the other end with "live with it" and coping ways. But i know i wont cope with this all my life....i want to be happy for my daughter and my family....and i just feel robbed of that now....it would be easier if i had my leg cut off so people could see what the problem is and also be able to cope....its the mental toeture i cant handle....physical torture i think i could.... this is just too much. Its stopping me eating...drinking...functioning...im just haunted by it....theres a minute goes by i dont hear it or think of it or it affecting me....and im worried i cant live this way ...I just cant believe this is such a big problem and theres no cure for us all....yet they put man on the moon :-( Its so depressing. Its all too much....

 

[glynis]

Hi kay,
Hope you managed get some sleep.
Hope your taking your meds and managed eat and drink something keep your strength up.
I would ring MIND up and have some counselling you get 10 50 minute sessions and can ring them direct ....lots of love glynis

 

[wayne cleghorn]

Kay,
We are all here for you any time.
Don't put any Pressure on youself and just concentrate on eating something,holding your baby a while and setting some sleep .
Ask your doctor for sleeping tablets and play soft relaxing natural sounds at night.
If you have a app on your phone down load Relax and Sleep to help you sleep and play it below your tinnitus or mixing point.
I can not give you medical advise only your doctor .MIND and the Samaritans are a good support and Im happy talk on the phone with you anytime.
YOU WILL get through this I promise you duck ....lots of love glynis

 

[wayne cleghorn]

Kay , dont go down the sleeping tablet route! They're really not good for you , google it before you do. In fact
some of them can actually cause /increase tinnitus, trust me i,ve really researched it.

 

[billie48]

Perhaps try these natural herbal supplements for sleep if you prefer the natural way, alternatives such as Camomile tea, Hops, Valerian tablets, Melatonin etc. Check out this site on using natural herbs for sleep problem:

http://www.christopherhobbs.com/lib...alth/herbs-and-natural-remedies-for-insomnia/

@Kay86 one thing you need to learn when you are so traumatized by T is not to trust the mind and the distorted thoughts it is conveying to you, to say that you can never handle the ringing and your perception that T is an end game. What your limbic-nerve driven mind is telling you is no different from many new posters. But yet amazingly, most of them learn that at time goes by, their perception of T and its horror on their life can change for the better over time.

Don't beileve me? Here is Neenie's posts from day 1 to about 1 year's time. She has habituated now and has written her success story and probably left the forum. She sounds just like you now in her 1st post. Read the threads and see how her perception changes over time. Therefore, don't project the future as a catastrophe during your worst time. Try read her words (just her 1st post in each thread) and you see the change on perception of T over time:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-has-taken-my-life-away.2737/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/why-wont-i-habituate.2785/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-christmas-crackers.2868/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-is-beating-me.2969/

The turning around:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/i-love-you-all-i-really-do.3014/

Her success story in 1 year:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/one-year-with-tinnitus.5998/

So I appeal to you to not rush to judgement about your ability to handle T ringing. You are at the worst point of T suffering. It will get better and you will slow change your perception about T. We all had been there. You can get better just like other members. Believe it and keep up the hope. God bless.

 

[Kay86]

Thank you for all being so sweet.
Im afraid i dont feel any better really. I really do appreciate all what you guys do and take your time to post. Thank you. Im finding this so so hard.
I spent most of my day on the phone like a mad woman to the hospital asking to speak to drug information line and if i could speak to the anesthetist that gave me my spinal for my labour as ive been looking up about drugs and tinnitus because i havnt been sround loud noises or concerts or anything....
Typically im quite a calm person that loves simple things...such as a sitting somewhere quiet and just appreciating life...just being alive and whats around me. And now!....well...
Does anybody on here have or know anyone with experience with medicines and tinnitus?As ive had it since i left the hospital (not as bad) but seems worse now so im panicking its gonna get worse? Will it get worse if my hearing seems ok?
I just feel so awful...not getting dressed.. i wish i could have it in me to think "just get on with it" its so so hard...Not only am i suffering...my poor dog and 6 week old baby is also... Having a mother/owner just sobbing allday doing nothing...
Im really sorry to anybody reading this...so boring and so repeatative i know....its just an outlet for me really because my loved ones dont really get it....
I mean im 6 weeks in now but only recently been unbearable...I just dont know what else i can do anymore...

 

[Natalie Roberts]

Hello,im just looking for support/advice really...as im losing my mind. I gave birth to my daughter 5 weeks ago and i had a spinal...afterwards i was really bad...vomitting shakey and staring into space...completely out of it...doctors blamed it on anxiety but i know the difference. Had pre eclampsia (very high bp) and still have the high bp...im currently on Labetalol (bp medicine) to keep my bp at a good state. Anyway cut a long story short...2 weeks ago i started to hear a hissing in both ears at night when i was trying to sleep...and since then it seems to have got worse....i also have other symptoms like tingly head and electric shock feeling in different parts of my body...but the main thing is the noise in my ears...its making me crazy...to the point where i am just wanting to be alone and not even care for my daughter...my partner keeps doing it all and its making me depressed...im not eating or sleeping properly...it hasnt even been that long and ive already thought i dont want to be here anymore id this carrys on or get worse...i keep googling things which probably doesnt help but im so scared and so depressed...its really affecting my life .. already... i loved my quiet times and now i feel i have no escape....my partner doesnt really get it and i feel so alone.. please somebody help me xx

I developed tinnitus during pregnancy about 10 weeks ago. I also have 2 small children I have to care for. At first I was a mess. Constant anxiety, panic attacks, crying all the time, couldn't be left alone etc. I saw two ENT's both of whom were no help really. Had a hearing test. It may or may not be caused by mild hearing loss or it could be hormonal in my case to due with the pregnancy. I just wanted you to know you're NOT alone. Early onset tinnitus is very difficult to deal with especially adding the stress of a newborn.. But, it DOES get easier to handle. I am at a much better place now then when I first developed tinnitus. I admit, it does take time but it will get easier just hang on. Time is your biggest ally in this, that's what I'm learning.

I would try stopping your blood pressure medication first off and swap it with something else (with your doctor's approval of course). That could be an easy fix to your issue. Secondly, make sure you're able to get sleep. I know, hard with a newborn right? But I notice my tinnitus is worse the days I struggle to sleep. If you're not breastfeeding look into medication you can take to help you sleep. I haven't had much success with masking but you can also try to get a sound machine and play nature sounds or other sounds like white noise to help you mask your tinnitus. I also suggest you see a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss possible post partum depression (Which it seems like you have, understandably). There are medications which may help you cope better with everything. Go easy on yourself. You have been through a LOT and having a newborn is not easy. But don't do anything rash. You have a beautiful baby girl that needs you. Gain your strength from her. You will be able to handle this more as time goes on..

There are a lot of medications which can cause tinnitus so it's hard to say.. I would find out everything you were given and research those things.. I don't really know if medication induced tinnitus goes away on it's own or how that works. I'm still not even sure what caused my own T.. I really think talking to someone like a psychologist or cognitive brain therapist could help you a lot. I've also found mindful meditation to be helpful for me also but its difficult so I would recommend you speaking with someone in your local area for meditation classes.. If you ever want to chat, PM me.