I'm NOT Getting Better...

[Pomme]

I am struggling with Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. It's gone on now for nearly six months and I'm a shadow of the person I was before. Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound. It's getting worse. I am scared and have dark thoughts. I take an AD which helps me sleep but otherwise life is heavily compromised.

I can't see a way out of this. Maybe it's time to give up

 

[Lex]

How bad is your H?

This condition is really limiting. But have you tried making major changes in your lifestyle? Like moving away from the city to a quiet place, quitting your job and working from home, etc.

I know these are not the solutions you want. I don't want them either. What I want is to be back to normal. But if those are what your body needs, then you may have to make the adjustments.

 

[Pomme]

@Lex I completely understand what you are saying but I just don't know how I can do this. I have a family to support and I've been off work for 4 months now. I don't know how I can get to work as it will have to be by train. I have only managed to attempt to walk to the train station twice never mind get on a train. My anxiety levels go through the roof and I find when I get home from such a walk my head is banging and ears hurt. I am becoming a huge burden on my family. I hate it, I hate myself and I am starting to give up on life.... I'm trying not to but it's very hard.

I have read about your recent setback @Lex and admire your courage and strength to keep going. Like you, the tinnitus I can put up with but the Hyperacusis is horrendous and is very debilitating. People think I'm mad, making this up but that's not true. Here is about the only place I can find some solace and helpful advice but whatever I try just doesn't seem to help.

 

[Lex]

@Pomme, I know it's hard to do what we must do. But suicide is just as hard, believe me. It's something I've been contemplating to do since last year but look, I'm still here. I can't overcome my survival instinct, can't find a painless and quick way to go without much pre-planning, can't bear the thought of hurting my loved ones, can't shake off that stubborn thing called hope, can't quite convince myself that there is nothing after waiting for me to justify why I chose to kill myself. Or maybe I'm just a wuss lol.

Right now, focus on what you can do. Can you ask for a work-from-home setup? If not, you'll find lots of jobs online, from coding to writing. If you don't have the skill set for those types of jobs, maybe you can try selling stuff instead?

Does your spouse work? They may have to take up the burden for a bit while you're trying to find another job. Ask for help from your family or close friends, at least financially, while you're making the transition.

 

[Michael Leigh]

HI @Pomme

I am sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time at the moment. If you haven't read my articles: Tinnitus, A Personal View and Hyperacusis, As I see it, then I advise you to do so. Please click on the links at the bottom of the page. If you would like me to send them to you in PDF format which is advisable so you can print and read them slowly and in full, is much better than reading on a computer monitor. Please send me your email address by private messenger.

I think you should have a word with your GP to see if you can be referred to see a Hearing Therapist or Audiologist, who specialises in tinnitus management. This mostly covers counselling which can help with tinnitus a lot. The main cause of tinnitus becoming difficult to manage is stress and counselling often helps with this.

All the best
Michael
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-mental-health.21978/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/can-tinnitus-counselling-help.22366/

 

[Pomme]

I am just so lost with what is happening to me. I feel like a horrid person. I'm trying to hold on to hope and that things will get better but it's getting to be a very hard fight at the moment. Very hard indeed

 

[Lex]

@Pomme I agree, it is very hard. But give yourself the chance to prove to yourself how strong you can be. You don't want to quit this life without exhausting all possible options. Just remember that some of the options you haven't tried yet are doable even if they're challenging.

For me, it helps to post my thoughts and feelings in this forum and FB support groups. It's not healthy to bottle it all up inside, but people in my life don't really understand.

 

[glynis]

@Pomme,
It might be worth giving your White noise generators another try set below your tinnitus.
Also ask your doctor about Nortriptyline or Cinnarazine 15mg as could help you.
Last year my tinnitus was in both ears and my head and Nortryptaline stopped my head tinnitus and really made a difference.
You will get through this and cope better even if you don't think so at the moment.
Love glynis xxx

 

[Juan]

I am struggling with Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. It's gone on now for nearly six months and I'm a shadow of the person I was before. Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound. It's getting worse. I am scared and have dark thoughts. I take an AD which helps me sleep but otherwise life is heavily compromised.

I can't see a way out of this. Maybe it's time to give up

Six months is not a long time in to see any significant improvement in H-terms. You may see changes in how you perceive sounds over a longer period. If you are now off work try to use this time to give your ears a rest, stay at home and try to concentrate on activities you like. Stay at home means something as radical as do not leave home for a few days, and truly rest.

Being more specific, I would recommend listening to the radio, an old analog radio and NOT a digital one. Try to be away of digital sound because it feels worse on hyperacusic ears (so no music on computer, cellphone etc). Listen to an analog radio or to music through decent hi-fi speakers. Try to listen to music you liked, since at the right volume it cannot hurt you, even if it feels bad on the first few days or weeks.

For the moment do not venture anywhere near loud sounds. H can settle a bit and our hearing can feel more balanced in a matter of weeks, like 3-4 weeks without hearing offending sounds. Feeling more balanced means you will perceive sounds in a flatter way, without all that amplification, distortion, and sounds will trigger less pressure, pain etc, the usual symptoms of H.

On the contrary, if you have severe H and listen to loud sounds that set you back often (therefore never reaching a stage of balanced, or more or less balanced hearing), H is likely to get worse and symptoms tend to stay for more and more time.

I hope you get better soon!

 

[Pomme]

@Juan Thanks for the reply.This Hyperacusis is destroying me at the moment. I try to rest as much as possible but feel lazy and not contributing to family life. I try simple things like doing the washing or small amounts of tidying. If I am out and about in sound, I suffer "sound fatigue" also. It's crippling at times. Does anyone else find they get exhausted by noise at times ?

 

[Juan]

@Juan Thanks for the reply.This Hyperacusis is destroying me at the moment. I try to rest as much as possible but feel lazy and not contributing to family life. I try simple things like doing the washing or small amounts of tidying. If I am out and about in sound, I suffer "sound fatigue" also. It's crippling at times. Does anyone else find they get exhausted by noise at times ?

It is normal that sound make you feel a lot more tired than before. The sound of water is soothing, it is a good sound to be around. You may also try to go to physiotherapy, as you may be inadvertently building a lot of tension as a result of H. Even your breathing may be affected without realising it.

 

[DebInAustralia]

I am struggling with Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. It's gone on now for nearly six months and I'm a shadow of the person I was before. Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound. It's getting worse. I am scared and have dark thoughts. I take an AD which helps me sleep but otherwise life is heavily compromised.

I can't see a way out of this. Maybe it

6 months will feel like an eternity, but in the bigger scheme of things, you are very new to t and h.

You t and h can still improve.

You are still the same wonderful, unique you.

if nothing you have tried has worked, then have you thought about a different strategy

my survival kit for early days:

. Mindfulness cbt
. Sleep
. Manage anxiety/ stress
. Distraction
. Talk to others who understand
. Consider talking therapies
. Pray
. Find a new purpose/ hobby/project
. Sound therapy

Coming up to 4 years this nov with severe t and mod h, and i can reassure you that it only annoys me slightly about 5% of the time now. A lot of the time, i dont hear it, and when i do like now (because im thinking about it), it doesnt seem to bother me all that much.

i have random, short lived spikes that seem linked to how much/quality of zz ive had

i think my h has improved too.

i have recently moved into a new house, which is situated near a busy ring road. I sometimes wear ear plugs to drown out the noise of the traffic in spite of amplifying my t. I was never able to do this once, because i was so bothered by the sound of my t. Now, the cars bother me more than the t. See, my brain has gotten used to my t (habituated), and now its focus has turned towards dealing with the traffic noise.

i have been very careful with protecting my ears. Apart from that, my, life is mostly back to what it was pre t.

Hang onto this thought: the majority of ppl habituate to t. Read the positive stories here, stay connected to ppl who understand, and keep talking.

We care about you. There is definately a way forward with t and h. You feel heavily compromised at the moment, but this doesnt have to be indefinately.

 

[attheedgeofscience]

Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound.

What approach you choose to follow is of course your own decision to make. All I can say is: if I had been in your shoes (with tinnitus and hyperacusis), forcing myself to be exposed to sounds is probably the last thing I would do. Although my reasoning behind that is independently ascertained, I can at least share the following article which arrives at the same conclusion:

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/12/01/when-everyday-noise-is-unbearable

 

[Pomme]

Thanks to everyone who has replied. I've decided to keep going and push myself out back into the world using earplugs/earmuffs where I feel necessary. I can't stay as a recluse like this anymore. I have to get back in the groove of life adapting where applicable.

 

[linearb]

you're not even a year into this; I was a real mess when the big T smacked me in the head, but it took me years to return to anything that ever felt like a normal life.

Keep fighting. It's worth it

 

[fishbone]

I am struggling with Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. It's gone on now for nearly six months and I'm a shadow of the person I was before. Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound. It's getting worse. I am scared and have dark thoughts. I take an AD which helps me sleep but otherwise life is heavily compromised.

I can't see a way out of this. Maybe it's time to give up

I am sorry that you feel this way. Tinnitus is horrible, having hyperacusis on top of that is brutal. I have been there myself and know first hand that it is very hard. I had very bad hyperacusis in my early tinnitus days, I went to an audiologist about 20 years ago and that issue was fixed. Please don't lose hope, things can get better. It's a slow process, but things can get better

If you need support I will be here and this board will be here too....Take care..

 

[victoria9273]

I have a very severe hyperacusis, though tinnitus not much. It's usually not there and only slightly audible when I hear loud noises or mentally stressed. And I'm kind of shocked that with many people in this forum expressing their distress and pain on hyperacusis, there not seems enough study or treatment on these ones. repairing and regenerating hearing cells is not what human can handle at this moment of medical developments and we wonly have to be careful and don't get stressed much... I do wonder how this hyperacusis might end up in.

 

[Raphael7713]

I think that the H can go away. Even if it has gone 6 months and it feels forever, you are still in your early stages. Give it more time, destress and you need to try to relax.

 

[Vicki14]

Hey, how are you doing now? Xx

 

[DebInAustralia]

I am struggling with Tinnitus & Hyperacusis. It's gone on now for nearly six months and I'm a shadow of the person I was before. Nothing I do seems to help. WNG, supplements, forcing myself outside to be exposed to sound. It's getting worse. I am scared and have dark thoughts. I take an AD which helps me sleep but otherwise life is heavily compromised.

I can't see a way out of this. Maybe it's time to give up

Have you read the threads on laser light therapy. This might be something to consider for your h.

 

[UpDownAround]

I think that the H can go away. Even if it has gone 6 months and it feels forever, you are still in your early stages. Give it more time, destress and you need to try to relax.

My H has come and gone many times. It has gotten particularly bad of late, but it is like getting a headache; in fact it sometimes causes one. But when it is quieter, I am fine. It's not like it is constant, even when it is bad.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Maybe it's time to give up

Wait another year or two. If it doesn't get better after two years, then you can be more sure that it won't get better (compared to your chances right now)...

 

[Raphael7713]

My H has come and gone many times. It has gotten particularly bad of late, but it is like getting a headache; in fact it sometimes causes one. But when it is quieter, I am fine. It's not like it is constant, even when it is bad.

Mine is like that as well. I think with time we find out what causes the H to come back again and avoid the things that brings it on.

 

[Darius]

Thanks to everyone who has replied. I've decided to keep going and push myself out back into the world using earplugs/earmuffs where I feel necessary. I can't stay as a recluse like this anymore. I have to get back in the groove of life adapting where applicable.

Earmuffs is a good idea.

I personally use earmuffs on trains, busses, and out where there's heavy traffic and it's been working out pretty well for the last two ears. I have two sets - my commuter earmuffs, and my work earmuffs.

The set I use for work is one of the strongest earmuffs you can buy on the market right now.

 

[Greg Sacramento]

@Pomme I also have very bad T & H. I'm able to stay in my house most of the time, so I can mostly hide from my H. I can't from my loud high pitched T.

When I got H the first time, seven years, I had it for 1.5 years. It wasn't until a rainy season did I my H disappear. I was playing a rain CD as well and that probably helped.

It's good that you are able to not focus all the time on your T.

I wish you and your family the best.

 

[Pomme]

I am becoming more crippled by anxiety and fear by the day. I can't take anymore of this....

I am trying to be strong but cannot cope and I am worn out.

I am heading for the train station to see what happens to my H on a short trip.If H is ok then I know there is hope and maybe anxiety & fear will go away. If H gets worse then I know what I must do. At least I will have tried.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I am becoming more crippled by anxiety and fear by the day. I can't take anymore of this....

Hi @Pomme

Wearing white noise generators to treat tinnitus and hyperacusis is good. However, this needs to be backed up with regular counselling sessions with a Hearing Therapist or Audiologist who's trained in the treatment and management of tinnitus. Unless you are having counselling wearing white noise generators alone will not be as effective in treating your conditions.

Counselling with a Hearing Therapist over time dispels and demystifies the negative thinking that is often associated with tinnitus and hyperacusis. I have explained this in my article: Tinnitus, A Personal View.

Michael

 

[Pomme]

So I try to walk to the train station but I can't even get out of the house because of FEAR. The fear of noise and what it will do to my T & H is crippling. I am shaking at the moment. It's unbelievable what's happening to me. What the heck am I supposed to do when I'm like this ?