In Need of Some Positivity Please

[Jaybeee]

Oh dear, I could do with some positivity please. Only a few weeks into my T journey and I am already so tired of the 24/7 thinking. I just want my old wonderful life back.

Every morning it hits me like a ton of bricks and I still can't believe this has happened to me. At least I can be grateful that a lot of physical anxiety appears to have left me for now (waves of panic/panic attacks) and I am sleeping much better but I still can't eat enough to maintain my weight.

I'm trying hard to meditate etc but all these things just seem to reinforce just what it is I'm hoping to forget. I was diagnosed many years ago as an obsessive ruminator...

How does an obsessive ruminator have a chance at habituation? I'm so scared.

 

[Michael Leigh]

how does an obsessive ruminator have a chance at habituation? I'm so scared.

Give it time @Jaybeee for you are in the early stages of tinnitus. Read my article: Tinnitus, A Personal View, and the positivity documents within it. Better if you print them and refer to them often as they are a form of counselling. Also, read the positivity and success stories from other members on the "positivity" thread. Habituation cannot be rushed, it takes time and happens when you least expect it. Ask anyone that has had tinnitus for a while and habituated. If you are feeling stressed which happens with tinnitus, talk to your GP as something can be prescribed.
Michael

 

[Ed209]

Oh dear, I could do with some positivity please. Only a few weeks into my T journey and I am already so tired of the 24/7 thinking. I just want my old wonderful life back.

Every morning it hits me like a ton of bricks and I still can't believe this has happened to me. At least I can be grateful that a lot of physical anxiety appears to have left me for now (waves of panic/panic attacks) and I am sleeping much better but I still can't eat enough to maintain my weight.

I'm trying hard to meditate etc but all these things just seem to reinforce just what it is I'm hoping to forget. I was diagnosed many years ago as an obsessive ruminator...

How does an obsessive ruminator have a chance at habituation? I'm so scared.

Jaybeee, for a while at least you're going to have to put up with it. I don't think it's possible to skip the hard part of habituating and jump straight to the stage that many others of us are at. It's a learning process that takes time, but take comfort in the fact that so many of us have overcome exactly what you are going through. At the start it's extremely cruel, and is by far the worst stage. The chemistry of your brain can go out of balance, making you feel depressed and anxious. This is all totally normal.

Try not to worry too much about it because it's the stress that gives tinnitus such a hold on us. It's easier said than done, which is why I stated at the start of this post that it's a journey we learn on. Try not to focus on it, and keep any checking behaviours under control. I know a lot us keep 'checking' to see if it's better or worse, and this is something you need to stop. Don't teach your brain to prioritise it. Instead become indifferent and learn to let it wash over you. Over time this leads to your anxiety levels dropping and your T will back off. By back off I mean your conscious awareness will not really care anymore and you'll start to get back to normality.

I'm as obsessive of a person as it gets as well. I went through everything you are going through now; so know that I have been through every inch of this. I doubt there's a thought you've experienced that I also didn't have. I ate, slept and breathed T once. Not any more, and the same fate awaits you jaybeee. In time you will get there.

We are all in this together, so take comfort in the fact that many millions have been through this and have come out on the other side, intact!

 

[Kelvin]

@Jaybeee
This is really hard...possibly the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
It sounds like its the same for you and so many others on here.
What I can say is that each day it will be there. Some days will be better than others.
BUT on each day you have the conscious choice to 'notice' and concentrate on it or to try and ignore it.
I know if you notice it then it plays up ! It loves attention...
To try and help I have given it a name because its like a naughty child.
If you can keep your mind busy with other stuff, background sound ( I find walking outside is good ), learn to relax... then you WILL start to notice it less and less each day.
If it screams then try and be calm and just tell it to shut up like a nightly attention seeking child and then try your best to get on with other life.
You need to be busy !!
It will get better and you will have eventually have more peace.
Wishing you a calm and peaceful day X

P.S. I called mine Sid because he Hisssssses like a snake.

 

[Jaybeee]

Thanks guys. It means a lot to get your responses and that you take the time (and often for some of you!) to help me out. It means the world to hear there will be improvement. Xx

 

[cflkb]

Jaybeee---hang in there. It's the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my entire life. I'm going on 6 years and the first few months-year were the worst for me. But in time, I've learn to deal with it, even though there are many bumps/lows on this T-road. Mine is loud---can't tell you how decibal loud, but it's the kind you hear even when you are driving in a busy highway and have the radio on at volume 4 or 5 clicks up, but it's still squealing away, along with the rumbling noise.

 

[Paul10]

Jay, remember that relaxing doesn't have to involve sitting breathing; it can be sitting with your head under a high power shower or walking in the wind. And relaxation is like learning a new skill; it takes time. I'm not having a great T day, but I refuse to give up hope now; be positive and you can always shoot me a PM

 

[glynis]

Hi @Jaybeee ,
Hope you have a lovely relaxing weekend and ears calm down for you.
Keep your chin up with a nice treat or two and stay positive your future will be as nice as ever ...lots of love glynis