MemberHi everyone!
I've been reading posts here since my tinnitus began, which was just about three months ago, and I just joined and wanted to introduce myself. This is gonna be long...
Music used to be the absolute most important thing in my life. I would listen to it for 6+ hours every day, and I recently bought a piano at considerable expense because I wanted, in my early twenties, to finally learn to play. I won't rehash my entire history, but music was the path to my emotions, and it was the absolute most important thing in my life by far.
And then, over the course of a single night, everything changed. Toward the beginning of January 2018 I attended a party at a New York bar. The music was so loud it hurt bad, and I was right under the speakers for a little while too, playing pool - BIG mistake of course!! No earplugs. Of course, I've been kicking myself over and over for not realizing to leave, especially because the noise really hurt at the time too. But, what's done is done.
Several days after the party, I developed tinnitus. The tinnitus has only gotten worse over time (additional tones, more intrusive). The main sound is ultrahigh frequency broadband (centered around 14 khz), and there's also a more faint helicopter-like sound. The noise is super-grating, makes concentrating difficult, and drives me to tears at times. Some hyperacusis set in as well, but thankfully my hyperacusis is mild and is not anything more than a minor annoyance. I do not have any vertigo symptoms.
I also experienced a subtle but significant hearing loss. My audiogram (250-8000 hz) is technically "normal", though not for my age. Most of my air-conduction thresholds are between 5 and 15 dbhl, but for several frequencies they are 15-20 dbhl, more so in the left ear, which was closer to the speaker that night.
I also tried ultrahigh frequency tests on a phone app which I calibrated, and they reveal significant losses above 10 khz (totally out of norm for my age), which become progressively worse as the frequencies are raised. Even at the highest possible volume with headphones, which probably exceeds 100 db, my left ear completely dies out at around 14 khz, and my right at around 16 khz. (I would assume this is why my tinnitus is centered around 14 khz.) Also have some difficulty hearing in noisy situations or in rooms with bad acoustics. As is common knowledge, an audiogram does not by any means screen the entirety of the auditory system.
I did make it to my GP less than a week after the event, but he did not have any recommendations beyond Sudafed (?!!), and he didn't even do a pitch fork test. As all too many of us know, despite its often devastating effects on quality of life many doctors do not seem particularly knowledgeable or caring about tinnitus and minor hearing loss. By the time I got steroids and (expensive!!!) HBOT it was way too late. Although, they may not have helped earlier either. ACRN has been of minor help for the tinnitus (thank you generalfuzz!). Also trying Gingko, Magnesium, homeopathy and Dr. Sarno/Louise Hay, just cause why not try.
Finally and critically, as to music. I can definitely still hear the melody, can sing on tune, even my pitch discrimination is fine. But, I lost the "edge" of my hearing and with it the "edge" of the music. Bass sounds a bit muddy, treble kind of flat, and violins have lost their beautiful haunting character. Songs sound disturbingly flat and, oddly enough, like they're going too fast. Not to mention the tinnitus that now accompanies every song. I had always enjoyed emotional and intricate music in particular, and I am devastated and feel as if there is a giant black hole in my life. I can still read literature, poems, learn new things, and I suppose I should be grateful for that...but music was really my passion by any measure.
I do draw inspiration from several individuals whose both hearing loss and musical abilities are exponentially greater than my own: Andrew Huang (successful music youtuber), Mandy Harvey (super-talented deaf singer), Chris Martin of Coldplay (tinnitus - don't know about hearing loss for him), even Beethoven I suppose. I really liked Mandy Harvey's book Sensing the Rhythm. I am not in any way equating my level of hearing loss, and definitely not my musical abilities, to that of the above individuals, but I try and tell myself that if they could continue with their life, and even with their music, I can too. But...
Disclaimer: I am obviously aware that many have unfortunately experienced a much worse hearing loss, and I am not comparing my experience to that of everyone on this forum. The effects on myself remain. And tinnitus SUCKS!!
To a cure soon!!
I've been reading posts here since my tinnitus began, which was just about three months ago, and I just joined and wanted to introduce myself. This is gonna be long...
Music used to be the absolute most important thing in my life. I would listen to it for 6+ hours every day, and I recently bought a piano at considerable expense because I wanted, in my early twenties, to finally learn to play. I won't rehash my entire history, but music was the path to my emotions, and it was the absolute most important thing in my life by far.
And then, over the course of a single night, everything changed. Toward the beginning of January 2018 I attended a party at a New York bar. The music was so loud it hurt bad, and I was right under the speakers for a little while too, playing pool - BIG mistake of course!! No earplugs. Of course, I've been kicking myself over and over for not realizing to leave, especially because the noise really hurt at the time too. But, what's done is done.
Several days after the party, I developed tinnitus. The tinnitus has only gotten worse over time (additional tones, more intrusive). The main sound is ultrahigh frequency broadband (centered around 14 khz), and there's also a more faint helicopter-like sound. The noise is super-grating, makes concentrating difficult, and drives me to tears at times. Some hyperacusis set in as well, but thankfully my hyperacusis is mild and is not anything more than a minor annoyance. I do not have any vertigo symptoms.
I also experienced a subtle but significant hearing loss. My audiogram (250-8000 hz) is technically "normal", though not for my age. Most of my air-conduction thresholds are between 5 and 15 dbhl, but for several frequencies they are 15-20 dbhl, more so in the left ear, which was closer to the speaker that night.
I also tried ultrahigh frequency tests on a phone app which I calibrated, and they reveal significant losses above 10 khz (totally out of norm for my age), which become progressively worse as the frequencies are raised. Even at the highest possible volume with headphones, which probably exceeds 100 db, my left ear completely dies out at around 14 khz, and my right at around 16 khz. (I would assume this is why my tinnitus is centered around 14 khz.) Also have some difficulty hearing in noisy situations or in rooms with bad acoustics. As is common knowledge, an audiogram does not by any means screen the entirety of the auditory system.
I did make it to my GP less than a week after the event, but he did not have any recommendations beyond Sudafed (?!!), and he didn't even do a pitch fork test. As all too many of us know, despite its often devastating effects on quality of life many doctors do not seem particularly knowledgeable or caring about tinnitus and minor hearing loss. By the time I got steroids and (expensive!!!) HBOT it was way too late. Although, they may not have helped earlier either. ACRN has been of minor help for the tinnitus (thank you generalfuzz!). Also trying Gingko, Magnesium, homeopathy and Dr. Sarno/Louise Hay, just cause why not try.
Finally and critically, as to music. I can definitely still hear the melody, can sing on tune, even my pitch discrimination is fine. But, I lost the "edge" of my hearing and with it the "edge" of the music. Bass sounds a bit muddy, treble kind of flat, and violins have lost their beautiful haunting character. Songs sound disturbingly flat and, oddly enough, like they're going too fast. Not to mention the tinnitus that now accompanies every song. I had always enjoyed emotional and intricate music in particular, and I am devastated and feel as if there is a giant black hole in my life. I can still read literature, poems, learn new things, and I suppose I should be grateful for that...but music was really my passion by any measure.
I do draw inspiration from several individuals whose both hearing loss and musical abilities are exponentially greater than my own: Andrew Huang (successful music youtuber), Mandy Harvey (super-talented deaf singer), Chris Martin of Coldplay (tinnitus - don't know about hearing loss for him), even Beethoven I suppose. I really liked Mandy Harvey's book Sensing the Rhythm. I am not in any way equating my level of hearing loss, and definitely not my musical abilities, to that of the above individuals, but I try and tell myself that if they could continue with their life, and even with their music, I can too. But...
Disclaimer: I am obviously aware that many have unfortunately experienced a much worse hearing loss, and I am not comparing my experience to that of everyone on this forum. The effects on myself remain. And tinnitus SUCKS!!
To a cure soon!!
