Katkin, don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone is different. We all deal with it differently. We are here to support and share what works for us. Hopefully you can find something that helps you too. In the beginning, about 3 months ago now, I couldn't see how I was going to ignore this crazy azz noise in my ear. But, Life had a way of moving me forward. I needed to focus on other things like my husband, my pets, my family. I found that being busy, kept me out of my own head. I continued staying busy, and now I have long periods of time that I don't notice the sound all the time. Even when I'm sitting still in a room reading, crocheting, talking to a friend. You will get there. Try to find something to keep your focus off the noise, perhaps it's music playing constantly, or spending time with friends that diverts your attention, even if just for a moment. My noise is quite a high pitched sound. I used to cry when I listened to it, thinking I can't bare it. It doesn't effect me that way right now. I listen to it for a moment then I just get on with things. I don't give it energy or much thought. It took some time but I didn't want the T to rule my life. I think it is a conscious choice to not allow it to take over. Don't give up on yourself you can get there in your own time. Hang in there don't give up.