Is It Possible to Avoid Loud Places for a Lifetime?

[Sean]

You are not taking into account the costs of being an extrovert.

My introversion got me my Ph.D. degree (as I could study all of my waking hours, unlike my competition), and my current career. Among other things.

I also have doctrate degree and i was so lucky to have very very close friends in grad school. I didnt have close friends i would have failed! We shared notes , studied together.
In my class we had lots of extroverts. connecting with people is a key to success . My business is not growing now because i am introvert/shy. If i can get out of the shell i can make it grow big time. I really hate being an introvert/shy.
luckily my manager is extrovert and he deals with my staff. My point is please know that extreme introversion is not a good thing.

There is a saying" anything extreme becomes poison "

 

[Bill Bauer]

Do you think you have fear of meeting people?

Do you think you have fear of eating flies? I could eat flies, if I had to - it is nasty, but not particularly scary. Meeting people is just one other activity that has nothing to offer to me.

may be you are too shy?

I was a shy teenager. But I am over it now.

Socializing is one of the key to happiness

As an introvert, I spent a lot of time thinking about what makes me happy. The answer is simple - not socializing. Money is just a proxy for this. If I were not to have money, I would be forced to interact with a lot of people to survive. If I were independently wealthy, I would socialize even less than I socialize now.

 

[Sean]

Do you think you have fear of eating flies? I could eat flies, if I had to - it is nasty, but not particularly scary. Meeting people is just one other activity that has nothing to offer to me.

I was a shy teenager. But I am over it now.

As an introvert, I spent a lot of time thinking about what makes me happy. The answer is simple - not socializing. Money is just a proxy for this. If I were not to have money, I would be forced to interact with a lot of people to survive. If I were independently wealthy, I would socialize even less than I socialize now.

 

[Sean]

Bill Bauer, post: 275031, member: 22665"]Do you think you have fear of eating flies? I could eat flies, if I had to - it is nasty, but not particularly scary. Meeting people is just one other activity that has nothing to offer to me

@Bill Bauer i dont know what to say man

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Michael Leigh

I agree with you...only way to beat hyperacusis is to expose yourself...i feel like alot of my commuting to work has helped me. I had setbacks along the way but i definitely have noticed an improvement. Wouldnt say I am totally cured but there isnt much that bothers me these days. Clapping used to drive me crazy...not anymore

@Bill Bauer
Please read Jomo's post

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Bill Bauer
Please read Jomo's post

This does not address the discrepancy between the two
statements of yours that I quoted.

As for Jomo's post, as soon as I began protecting my ears
my H began to improve. You have to listen to your body.
H is your body's way of telling you to stay away from loud noises.
Ignore your body at your own risk.

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Bill Bauer
I have no wish to carry on this debate any further as it gets nowhere. People will do whatever they wish to do at the end of the day. Those that wish to continue over protecting their ears and thinking every little raised sound is going to make their tinnitus spike then let them continue. I on the other hand choose not to and I've been living this way for 18 years since my hyperacusis was cured and I've had no problem since touch wood.

All the best
Michael

 

[Bill Bauer]

I have no wish to carry on this debate any further as it gets nowhere.

So, to summarize, you don't have an answer about your two statements being contradictory, you don't have an answer about why we are to not learn from the mistakes of others, you also don't have an answer about why it is ok for you to not provide newbies with full information when you give advice to them.

 

[Michael Leigh]

So, to summarize, you don't have an answer about your two statements being contradictory, you don't have an answer about why we are to not learn from the mistakes of others, you also don't have an answer about why it is ok for you to not provide newbies with full information when you give advice to them.

@Bill Bauer

I don't have answer to your questions for the simple reason my tinnitus has been raging all weekend and I'm not feeling at my best. Furthermore, as I've said, it's pointless discussing this further with you as it seldom gets anywhere as you're adamant in your beliefs. So I will say the following and won't be discussing this matter further with you on this thread. If my two statements were contradictory I apologise for misleading people as I said, I'm not feeling my best.

I have had tinnitus for over 20 years. At one time I had very severe hyperacusis that is now completely cured. I have written many articles on both conditions and these can be accessed in my "started threads" for anyone that wants help with them. With respect you haven't had tinnitus and hypercasis long and to be quite frank, some of your advice can be frightening to those that don't know better and I wish that you would ease up a little, because hypercausis can be cured and most people do habituate to tinnitus with time. Although you may not mean to, at times you paint a very scary picture of the sounds in our world being harmful and it doesn't make for good reading in my opinion. This can cause fear to the point of one feeling paranoid about sound and it's not healthy.

I wish you well
Michael

 

[Bill Bauer]

I wish you well

I wish you well, too, Michael.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

This is true for extroverts. Extroverts need to do things before they can feel happy. I am an introvert. According to one test, I am 99% introverted. I feel happy, unless I socialize. In other words, I don't have to do anything to feel happy. Social events always make me feel like I had been raped (having to engage in an activity against my will). A rape of my soul.

You are absolutely wrong.

I am an introvert and I know of several other people who are, and we all enjoy the occasional loud event: birthday parties, concerts....the difference between us and extroverts is the frenquency and length of the attendances.

You are an extreme introvert, and I have personally never met someone who didnt like social activity at all, as human beings we need to interact and connect with others, it is in our nature. So you must understand that you are a special case, and that you can not apply it to others, because the vast majority of people needs to be social to some extend.

Personally I think a life without social interaction/activities would be no life to live. But as long as your happy.....

 

[Michael Leigh]

So you must understand that you are a special case,

Well said @TheDanishGirl although I couldn't help smiling a little when you said "You are a special case" Interaction with other people is vitally important to our mental well being. I used to counsel a person that had hyperacusis and was afraid to leave her home. She couldn't tolerate the sound of the: washing machine, fridge, microwave or dishwasher. It got so bad one day she was in tears to me on the phone saying the rain falling on her conservatory glass roof was hurting her ears. This is a true story. Fortunately with time she improved.

Michael

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Well said @TheDanishGirl although I couldn't help smiling a little when you said "You are a special case" Interaction with other people is vitally important to our mental well being. I used to counsel a person that had hyperacusis and was afraid to leave her home. Things go so bad she couldn't tolerate the sound of the: washing machine, fridge, microwave or dishwasher. It got so bad one day she was in tears to me on the phone saying the rain falling on her conservatory glass roof was hurting her ears. This is a true story. Fortunately with time she improved.

Michael

I hope Bill does not take offence of that though. That was not my intention. I just mean that being almost 100% introvert is really rare (been told so by several therapists I have had counselling with in the past)

 

[Michael Leigh]

I hope Bill does not take offence of that though. That was not my intention. I just mean that being almost 100% introvert is really rare (been told so by several therapists I have had counselling with in the past)

I don't think @Bill Bauer will take offence. I had to withdraw from my conversation with him last night as my tinnitus has been giving me a particularly difficult time. Even though I've taken clonazepam it reduced but has flared up again. Bill was kind enough to let the matter rest and that shows a lot about his character. Underneath it all I think he's a gentleman and has class and I haven't yet seen him use abusive or profane language and it's something that I admire in a person even though I don't agree with some of his views. I say some because some points he raises are quite true and it's good to have him aboard Tinnitus Talk.

Michael
Nice to see you smiling Sandra.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I don't think @Bill Bauer will take offence. I had to withdraw from my conversation with him last night as my tinnitus has been giving me a particularly difficult time. Even though I've taken clonazepam it reduced but has flared up again. Bill was kind enough to let the matter rest and that shows a lot about his character. Underneath it all I think he's a gentleman and has class and I haven't yet seen him use abusive or profane language and it's something that I admire in a person even though I don't agree with some of his views. I say some because some points he raises are quite true and it's good to have him aboard Tinnitus Talk.

Michael
Nice to see you smiling Sandra.

I agree on that.

Sorry to hear about your flair up in T. Hope it goes down very soon.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I agree on that.

Sorry to hear about your flair up in T. Hope it goes down very soon.

Thanks Sandra. It's very intrusive so I'm going out and hope things settle.
All the best
Michael

 

[Bill Bauer]

I am an introvert and I know of several other people who are, and we all enjoy the occasional loud event: birthday parties, concerts....the difference between us and extroverts is the frenquency and length of the attendances.

Scientists say that it is not just two possible outcomes, it is a range, say, from 0 (extrovert) to 100 (introvert). Neither you, nor I have the information about the fraction of the population that is in the tails of that distribution.

I hope Bill does not take offence of that though.

No problem. I can see how those posts might look to someone who has more traditional views about socializing.

Underneath it all I think he's a gentleman

Thank you for your kind words, Michael. I know that you also mean well. I apologize if my earlier posts came off as being aggressive. I was just posting the type of information that I wish someone were to provide me with back when I was just beginning this journey. I imagine you have been doing the same thing. I hope your spike ends soon.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Scientists say that it is not just two possible outcomes, it is a range, say, from 0 (extrovert) to 100 (introvert). Neither you, nor I have the information about the fraction of the population that is in the tails of that distribution.


No problem. I can see how those posts might look to someone who has more traditional views about socializing.

Thank you for your kind words, Michael. I know that you also mean well. I apologize if my earlier posts came off as being aggressive. I was just posting the type of information that I wish someone were to provide me with back when I was just beginning this journey. I imagine you have been doing the same thing. I hope your spike ends soon.

No problem @Bill Bauer and thanks for your understanding. I'm enjoying a coffee at a place where there's lots of people in convesation and can't resist getting invoved as I'm a natural communicator. This has the advantage of pushing my tinnitus into the background a tactic I use when it's intrusive..
Michael

 

[orbiter12]

@Bill Bauer what's your PhD in?

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Bill Bauer what's your PhD in?

I teach one of the quantitative subjects at a business school.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

This is true for extroverts. Extroverts need to do things before they can feel happy. I am an introvert. According to one test, I am 99% introverted. I feel happy, unless I socialize. In other words, I don't have to do anything to feel happy. Social events always make me feel like I had been raped (having to engage in an activity against my will). A rape of my soul.

I really wouldn't use the word rape so lightly if I were you

 

[Bill Bauer]

I really wouldn't use the word rape so lightly if I were you

Let's just say that these were the closest experiences to the experience of being raped I had ever experienced.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

Let's just say that these were the closest experiences to the experience of being raped I had ever experienced.

there is no experience close to rape. I see where you're coming from though, maybe just say you feel violated or something in future. Rape isn't a term to be messed with.