Hello!
I am just genuinely wondering.. is there LIFE after tinnitus? I am not talking about existence. I am talking about LIFE.
I am only 19 years old and my life was only supposed to start, but I feel like it is over after getting such a debilitating chronic condition as tinnitus. I have never even heard about tinnitus prior to this which makes me even more angry.. WHY DON'T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT?
How do you live with something like tinnitus if anything could make it worse? Smoking, drinking, flying, diving, eating junk food, parties, exercising, going to festivals, movies, listening to music, common cold, getting pregnant, medicine etc.
I would wait all week to go to a bar with my friends and get crazy drunk. I would wait all year to go to a music festival. I used to be obsessed with relaxing hot baths (tried to take one today, but that buzzing sound in my head made my cry my eyes out and I wasn't anywhere near relaxed even after masking the sound). I used to love going to the cinema but the last time made me so crazy paranoid.
Whenever I think about my future I just do not see it. I became boring - something I was so afraid of. People used to love me for being the life and soul of the party, for always being so positive, loving life and laughing the loudest. All there is now is tears. I look in the mirror and I do not recognise myself. Feels like no one is ever going to love me with this chronic condition cause it is too much to put up with.
My life was near perfect. I guess that is why it is so hard for me to accept the fact that now it is not. I was going through a moderate depression episode at the same time but that was nothing compared to this as I could always find peace by lying in my bed and hugging my mom. However now doing even something simple like that feels like a torture.
So how are you actually supposed to enjoy your life and do considerably normal things if they can make you feel worse in a long run? How do you enjoy those once enjoyable moments of life if all you can hear is BZZZZZZZ and EEEEEEEEE?
P.S. sorry for being so negative, I am just feeling a little bit emotional today.
Have a good day.
I am just genuinely wondering.. is there LIFE after tinnitus? I am not talking about existence. I am talking about LIFE.
I am only 19 years old and my life was only supposed to start, but I feel like it is over after getting such a debilitating chronic condition as tinnitus. I have never even heard about tinnitus prior to this which makes me even more angry.. WHY DON'T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT?
How do you live with something like tinnitus if anything could make it worse? Smoking, drinking, flying, diving, eating junk food, parties, exercising, going to festivals, movies, listening to music, common cold, getting pregnant, medicine etc.
I would wait all week to go to a bar with my friends and get crazy drunk. I would wait all year to go to a music festival. I used to be obsessed with relaxing hot baths (tried to take one today, but that buzzing sound in my head made my cry my eyes out and I wasn't anywhere near relaxed even after masking the sound). I used to love going to the cinema but the last time made me so crazy paranoid.
Whenever I think about my future I just do not see it. I became boring - something I was so afraid of. People used to love me for being the life and soul of the party, for always being so positive, loving life and laughing the loudest. All there is now is tears. I look in the mirror and I do not recognise myself. Feels like no one is ever going to love me with this chronic condition cause it is too much to put up with.
My life was near perfect. I guess that is why it is so hard for me to accept the fact that now it is not. I was going through a moderate depression episode at the same time but that was nothing compared to this as I could always find peace by lying in my bed and hugging my mom. However now doing even something simple like that feels like a torture.
So how are you actually supposed to enjoy your life and do considerably normal things if they can make you feel worse in a long run? How do you enjoy those once enjoyable moments of life if all you can hear is BZZZZZZZ and EEEEEEEEE?
P.S. sorry for being so negative, I am just feeling a little bit emotional today.
Have a good day.