Is This a New Tinnitus Noise?

[sara]

Hello All

As I am writing this it's 5:05 am and I woke up about an hour ago shaking and being scared out of my mind.

I have had T about 1.5 year in a more intrusive form. But before that my T was so low I wouldn't even care to think about it.

Anyways I think it might have been an episode of stress in my life which caused to permanently spike and stay at that level. However, in the past couple of weeks my life was turned upside once AGAIN! just when I thought I was doing good and T was not a huge annoyance anymore.

I am planning a wedding for April. And I have no idea if it was the stress of the wedding which caused my episodes of waking up in an anxious state for no reason. I literally would wake up with beating heart and uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

It happened a couple of times before it affected my daily life and T. T Became loud like the early days loud. I was going crazy. I pushed through those days. I tried CBD OIL ,Magnesium, Vitamin b12 and melatonin but I still woke up 2-3 times a night. The next day though T would be in my head I can hear it over everything and anything.

But last night after having a better day w T. I noticed another sound and it was almost like a car pressing on its break but lightly and it would be up and down. Oh.boy. Did that freak me right out or what???!?! From a sleepy state I became frantic I was shaking and losing control. Then I went to bed and I literally could hear so many other sounds. Beeps. High pitch. Low pitch. Hissing. Whistling. I was so scared and shaking in bed. I really didn't know if I was actually hearing these sounds or my Brain was playing a nasty game with me. Anyways I tried to say to myself that it was all good. I fell asleep. But I woke in an anxious state at 3:45 waiting for the noises to come back.

Anyways the normal ones came back. Then the one which is a low pitch is there which I think it's from the outside cars passing by but when I check my head I feel like it's still there. So I have no idea if this noise is my head or from the outside. I was getting fixated on it.

I didn't know if my ears were just copying the sounds from the outside ??? Why would they do that?? I am so confused and scared. I also have this crazy thought about T getting worse and me comitting suicide. All because I watched a documentary about a woman with T who asked for assisted suicide because she could no longer handle it. Hers became worse and worse everyday. I always think about it which I know it doesn't help.

But is it possible to hear a sound and then your brain just holding on to it ????

Please help. I want this to be gone so bad.

But if I don't get sleep it will never calm down. Plus I always sleep in silence. Do you think that's the reason why?

Thanks everyone

 

[slipware]

There are people on the forum who will come and reply, who know far more than I do, but let me reassure you, our brains can and do replicate many differing sounds. When I first had SSHL the hearing started to come back slowly, and distorted but the weirdest thing that happened was that in my head and ears tubular bells were playing. Of course nobody else could hear them. That passed, and now lots of fluctuation, in both noise level and sounds. It's just the nature of the beast we all have here. No one noise is out of the question, just do your best to ignore it.

 

[Kazue]

Yes, weddings are stressful. You probably had an anxiety attack. And thinking about your T is making your brain overload since it has too many things on your mind. Just relax. I know it's easier said than done but seriously, chill out. I break out into an anxiety attack when I think about life, especially if I had coffee. Talk to someone about what's keeping you up. They should offer support and reassurance.

 

[Lorac]

Hi @sara ,
It seems that anxiety is your worst enemy right now, even worse than the tinnitus! I understand that because I have been where you are right now. I am familiar with the documentary you describe. Please don't allow that to consume your thoughts. I had suicidal thoughts too but I have risen from that gutter. There are many people here who have dealt effectively with the anxiety part of tinnitus. Please seek help from a therapist if you continue to feel overwhelmed. I did.

 

[sara]

Hello all and thank you for your supportive responses. Could it be that I am just getting sensitive again to T? Like got over it but now back at it?

How could this be ????? Lol
This sucks. My mom is so worried about me. I feel sad when I make her sad. But I ligit can't stop with this thing. I do check it on a regular. I think my obsession is back. Also I hear the high frenquency so well. Like the high frequency noises really affect my ears.
Uh what to do!!!!! Hate this eating at me everyday. I play the game if I rather have this disease than T all the time. It's pretty sad. I know.

 

[Fernando81]

Hello Sara! How are you doing?
I habe veen where you are. I have good and bad days. Your worse enemy right now is anxiety, that is why you get obsessed with noises, i am sure you are imaging-creating some of them. When i have bad days, and i am stressed, noises keep coming into my head, repetitive... it is very uncomfortable. I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I have GAD and OD ( Obsessive disorder ). They are my better enemies, much more than my Ts. But i am working on it, adapting and becoming stronger by knowing that my brains, sometimes plays with me and that I am not it.
It takes time, effort, suffering, but slowly i am feeling better.
God bless you!
Let me know how you feel