It Got Better for Me

[pef]

I thought I would post this message for all those people that have just come down with Tinnitus and are having a difficult time adjusting. I've had tinnitus for about 10 months, and when I first experienced it I thought my days of fully enjoying life were over. Now, 10 months later, I'm about 98% back to where I was, even with my permanent Tinnitus.

Time, acceptance, and positive thinking helped me immensely.

On March 16, 2013 I was subject to acoustic trauma - a .357 Magnum gunshot in an enclosed space without hearing protection. I had near perfect hearing before then. Now I have a high pitched tones in my left ear - about 10 - 11 kHz, and a lower, square wave sounding tone in my right ear - about 7 - 8 kHz.

In addition to the T and the temporary threshold shift, I had a bad case of hyperacousis for about three weeks. Then, for about another four to six weeks, my ears were very sensitive to higher pitched sounds. Gradually the hyperacousis went away.

In addition to the T, for about the first month I could not distinguish voices in a loud setting, and my right ear sounded like a "blown speaker." Yes, I saw a specialist, but there was nothing he could do (my hearing is normal up to about 8 kHz, and then it drops off).

I was a wreck for several weeks. I could not sleep at all, and all I could focus on was this damn noise. The entire world sounded tinny and artificial. I tried masking my T at night to sleep, and it did not work. Add to this my Type A personality, and my love of peace and quite, and you can understand that I was not in a good place - something had control over me, and I could not control it.

Things were not going well. But during this time I talked to people I know - friends and family. Turns out I have three family members and a friend that have T. And about a month in I started noticing that I would go several minutes without "noticing" my T.

I started forcing myself to think of the positive things in my life. My wife, my kids, may otherwise good health. I also put my T in perspective - I know of several people that lost loved ones to health issues while they were still young. I also stopped hoping my tinnitus would go away. Odd as it seems, when I gave up hope of a full recovery my emotional state got much better.

After about six weeks I managed to get my first full night of sleep, and without masking. A victory indeed. I noticed that even when I was focusing on my tinnitus as I lay awake at night, my mind would drift to other thoughts.

I can now sleep at night relatively well and without masking, but probably about once a week I wake up to my T at night. Whether it's the T waking me up or my sleep cycle, I don't know. I just fall back asleep.

My ears are sometimes still sensitive to high pitched sounds and loud noises, and I do what I can to protect my hearing now. When I'm going to be in a loud place I'll take along a pair of earplugs, just in case.

My T is not so loud - driving in a car can mask most of it. But working in the office or watching tv, I can hear it if I listen to it. So be it. My mind has adjusted, and I do think part of that adjustment was me willing myself to accept the T and get on with life. I know that this is not easy for many people, and it was not for me. I am fortunate that I managed to accept it after several months.

I don't know if I have habituated - I do notice my tinnitus often, but I do not let it bother me, and I can go for very long periods of time and not notice it.

If I could tell you exactly what to do to accept it, I would. But I can't; we are all different.

I write this only to provide some encouragement to readers that are having a difficult time with their newly acquired tinnitus. Trust in time and yourself. Good luck.

 

[NeoM]

Sounds like you are habituating. Over time you'll notice it less and less, then eventually you'll just forget about it all together until someone says "tinnitus". Don't be afraid to use sound enrichment until you do.

 

[I who love music]

Sounds like mine, with the distortion and sensitivity to high pitches. And it settled back down to a hiss.
Your story is encouraging.

 

[Garden Ring]

Thank you for sharing!
Every bit of positive information makes it easier to reconcile with life and adapt.

Trust in time and yourself.

This is the recipe my parents are telling me to follow, and actually I arrived at it myself even before T.
And speaking to your family helps as well.
Turns out, my father has ringing in his head as well, though, it's not located in any specific ear, and it never bothered him. So why should it bother me?

 

[billie48]

A very encouraging success story. Thank you for sharing it. I see once again another example of success story because of willingness to accept T as being a part of our life, giving it enough time for the body to adjust to the new condition, and keeping a positive attitude which can reduce the level of anxiety which makes it easier to achieve habituation to the ringing. These are very important ingredients of success. Great story and truly encouraging for newer sufferers.

 

[Amelia]

Thanks for your story. I needed to read this this morning.
I need to remind myself that people deal with T every day and it doesn't bother them too much. Even my husband has T which I didn't know about until my onset (although mine is quite a bit louder than his)
I love your outlook. Thanks for posting your story

 

[Linda Marie]

Per, thanks you for your post and the time you put in to write it. My T happened Dec 2013 so very recently. I have to admit it was depressing thinking I could have this the rest of my life. I analyze it every day, was it the trip to Starbucks and the noisy environment, the trip in the car when the tires go along the pavement or cars traveling next to you, the TV on too loud, etc. I need to be positive. I can't sleep right now without the fan and 22.5mg of Remeron taken at night. I dread waking up when the hissing is louder but it helps to be positive as you mention and one day it won't be such a nuisance. Thanks so much for that.

 

[pef]

Per, thanks you for your post and the time you put in to write it. My T happened Dec 2013 so very recently. I have to admit it was depressing thinking I could have this the rest of my life. I analyze it every day, was it the trip to Starbucks and the noisy environment, the trip in the car when the tires go along the pavement or cars traveling next to you, the TV on too loud, etc. I need to be positive. I can't sleep right now without the fan and 22.5mg of Remeron taken at night. I dread waking up when the hissing is louder but it helps to be positive as you mention and one day it won't be such a nuisance. Thanks so much for that.

Hang in there. The first couple of months were the worst. I was taking ambien to try to sleep, and I was using a masker. I was a zombie, getting very little sleep.

I stopped with the ambien, and I decided to stop with the masker too. Eventually I discovered that my thoughts drifted to other things besides my T as I lay in bed at night.

Oddly, when I "gave up hope" that my T would go away, acceptance seemed much easier. Perhaps that was around the time my mind, on its own, began to feel less "threatened" by this alien sound.

As for what caused it - well, I know, and it was my own mistake. That was difficult to accept. But I have noticed that many people that have T and that don't know what caused it also dwell on what may have caused the T- was it x, y or z? Was it something I did? And so on. I don't know which is worse - knowing you caused it (my case), knowing some illness or drug caused it, or never knowing. In my case, it took a lot of time to forgive myself for what I did to my ears. In the case of the latter, I've read many a poster lament "why me?" But the best thing to do it accept it and move on.

For me, focusing on the people in my life, and knowing that they need me, helped me move on. I have to be there for them, and I'm thankful for the time I have with them.

 

[Linda Marie]

Hang in there. The first couple of months were the worst. I was taking ambien to try to sleep, and I was using a masker. I was a zombie, getting very little sleep.

I stopped with the ambien, and I decided to stop with the masker too. Eventually I discovered that my thoughts drifted to other things besides my T as I lay in bed at night.

Oddly, when I "gave up hope" that my T would go away, acceptance seemed much easier. Perhaps that was around the time my mind, on its own, began to feel less "threatened" by this alien sound.

As for what caused it - well, I know, and it was my own mistake. That was difficult to accept. But I have noticed that many people that have T and that don't know what caused it also dwell on what may have caused the T- was it x, y or z? Was it something I did? And so on. I don't know which is worse - knowing you caused it (my case), knowing some illness or drug caused it, or never knowing. In my case, it took a lot of time to forgive myself for what I did to my ears. In the case of the latter, I've read many a poster lament "why me?" But the best thing to do it accept it and move on.

For me, focusing on the people in my life, and knowing that they need me, helped me move on. I have to be there for them, and I'm thankful for the time I have with them.

Thanks Per. That was brave of you to stop your sleep aid and masker. It's a little to early for me. My ears start to hurt at night and it's when the T is louder. It's hard right now to think of giving up my fan and Remeron. If anything I had to up the dose. It's only been a month and 1/2. Hoping to get where you are now. Thank you for your reply I really need the hope that things will get better.

 

[Glen Morse]

Thanks Pef,
I know others who have excepted it also. My step father, and 2 uncles. I haven't, and didn't plan on it untill I read what you wrote. Now you have given me new hope. Thank you!

 

[Glen Morse]

I am doing other things too, but I feel a lot better today by excepting it and ignoring it,
Thanks again!

 

[S.Bla]

Thanks Pef! You gave me a hope for a normal life. My T showed up after the acoustic trauma 3 weeks ago. Kalashnikov gunshot without hearing protection
I hope I'll habituate it like you...

 

[DebInAustralia]

Thanks Pef

Like you, I am habituating too. My onset followed an external ear infection and treatment with cipro last November.

Very traumatic for the first few months, but getting better as time goes on.

Instrumental to my habituation has been acceptance, which doesn't equate with giving up. It is quite liberating to accept the noise finally as part of myself. I stopped fighting it, trying to cure it, trying to avoid hearing it. I don't go out of my way to hear it, but i find when i do notice it, it doesn't cause me the same level of distress as it once did. the brain is amazing how it can filter out unimportant noise. i guess in a nutshell that is what has happened. my brain is bored with my t. YAY!

I sleep without maskers and sedatives well. i look forward to bed now when once it was something i had grown to fear and loathe.

there are still days when i feel more irritated than others, but i know this is only temporary and my t will recede back into the background.

My life is largely back to normal.

 

[Freddie]

Thanks Pef

Like you, I am habituating too. My onset followed an external ear infection and treatment with cipro last November.

Very traumatic for the first few months, but getting better as time goes on.

Instrumental to my habituation has been acceptance, which doesn't equate with giving up. It is quite liberating to accept the noise finally as part of myself. I stopped fighting it, trying to cure it, trying to avoid hearing it. I don't go out of my way to hear it, but i find when i do notice it, it doesn't cause me the same level of distress as it once did. the brain is amazing how it can filter out unimportant noise. i guess in a nutshell that is what has happened. my brain is bored with my t. YAY!

I sleep without maskers and sedatives well. i look forward to bed now when once it was something i had grown to fear and loathe.

there are still days when i feel more irritated than others, but i know this is only temporary and my t will recede back into the background.

My life is largely back to normal.

Hi Deb in Australia, I have had my T for almost a year now so almost the same length as you and trying to go the TRT route but I am really struggling some days, I think my T was mainly caused by stress that I was going through at the time and along with a slight loss of hearing in my right ear that I never knew I had is what tipped over the edge, some days are better than other but the last week or so it has been a constant noisy hiss.

Is there anything else that you have done to help you along the way to almost habituation as sounds as if you are doing really well, I think my problem is the constant monitoring that then frightens me that I am permanently stuck with this and cant ever habituate, its that vicious circle, so any other little tips you have that may help I would appreciate.

Thank you

 

[JohnS]

Thank you for sharing Pef; really helps to hear about others and their trials, and successes....

 

[Marlene]

Liked what I read today Pef ,with my T as others. We have this balance with T ,so the balance does bring T to the fore a lot no way you cannot ,so what's our answer ? My husbands T is so much different than mine ,he totally ignores his (30 yrs) only mentions it if I ask ,as I never know if air pressure affects mine ,so I use him as a gauge on my worst days ,as he says you get a barometer ,so he says air pressure would have an affect for some with my T .
I to am sensitive to noise ,many a day I ask people to lower their voice ,wether in the room I'm in,or if I need to use the phone ,so much of my days aren't so happy ,my T was upped and changed by 1 pkt of Benzo's.This all began from having a Bacterial /Viral illness .what a mess it's left in its wake .
This said ,I'm glad when I hear of people like yourself and others who are getting a turn around to their T ,it gives us hope ,that we can get away from focussing on T .Not easy by far. But it can and does happen .
This is T week if your up on FB share anything on your time lines in regarding T and Menieres / Balance get the word out there ,let peoples know how bad T affects everyone with it ,awareness to how easy one can get it.through to loud music ,illness etc meds .I direct many to TT that I can ,get info out there ,may help many ,yes and get the good message to on TT,that it needn't be all doom and gloom for many .
Your story gives hope for sure that it can be done .Best wishes to you and all on TT ,best site who delve further into T out there .Keep doing what you are doing now Pef ,any info is good to share .Glad your days are better .

 

[jamesg]

Nice story thanks. My tinnitus is still here 2 years after it started - I simply woke up one morning and there it was - very loud and very upsetting (to begin with).

Here is what I have learned:

1) It does not actually hurt as in it does not actually physically hurt - I remind myself of this from time to time and remind myself how utterly terrible it would be if it actually hurt - it does not actually hurt - this is a fact to remember.
2) It is not always the same volume - it goes up and down - so when its up I remind myself that it probably wont stay there forever and to just wait it out.
3) Giving up trying to make it go away - actually helps. And you can't control when or if you give up - but when I stopped fighting it and just accepted it - a huge weight fell away - I stopped suffering so much.
4) Remind yourself there are MANY MANY people MUCH worse off than you so stop moaning and get on with life - as in thank your lucky stars you were not born in Syria or God alone knows how many other countries where its hell every day. I have a british passport - I am very lucky to be born here - even with the tinnitus I now have.

And like others - I can go hours at a time not thinking about it - sometimes almost a whole day - and some days its not that bad - and other days it is pretty darn noisy.

Oh and I also find sticking my fingers in my ears and saying to myself THIS IS WHAT REAL HEARING LOSS WOULD BE LIKE - and then taking my fingers out my ears and hearing JUST HOW GOOD MY HEARING ACTUALLY IS!

Good luck people.

All the best,

James.

 

[jamesg]

One more thing I found helps - put both your little fingers in your ears and wiggle them around giving your ear a good massage. When you pluck them both out if not only feels good but I find the ringing has gone down a bit. Well. It works for me. You never know it might work for you too.

 

[loosse up]

All very nice that you found a way to deal with your low grade Tinnitus. For this of us who have had this insanity for over 6 to 10 yrs., sorry it depresses me. I currently have cancer and the chemo and radiation have increased my Tinnitus to the point that I feel I can longer cope. No sleep for five days does not make for positive thinking. The T is so loud that it feel like it is blowing the back of my head off. Im happy for those of you who have not had to suffer as long as some us. God Bless you.

 

[jamesg]

Lost for words. That sounds completely shit. I hope you have some people close to you who you can see and talk to and feel some real support from. Words on a computer screen can only do so much.

 

[Donna Gaumond]

I've had tinnitus for 42 years. I damaged the bones in both middle ears due to a traumatic head injury whe I was 16. I hear all different sounds. Some are worse than others. I have to have sound around me all the time. I am a teacher rand when the students are not in the room, I have music playing. I am sensitive to low pitch sounds and it almost hurts if I get too close to a particular pitch. I am alive after almost dying. Yes I have a different outlook on life. I deal with tinnitus because primarily I have no choice and there is so much worse I could have. So you make life changes to mask the sounds. I have gotten use to most of them most of the time. They are part of who I am. The best advise I can give is embrace and accept the tinnitus. Learn coping skills. I'm sorry for those who newly have it because it's difficult. Been there done that.

 

[uncle vikin]

Thats why this site is here to give hope and encouragement and info.T is manageable and with time one can live a normal life. Learn to do the right things ,Keep a positive mind, and Time and acceptance is the Key.Then just learn to live your life again.
But keep in mind the brain needs time and we can help the brain with patience and possitive thoughts.

 

[David Baime]

I think there are certain parts of almost every one of these interesting stories and responses that I read where I can relate and agree, and other parts of each story where I don't (at least not at this point of my life with T). So I guess people take whatever positives they can pull from each read as that relates to their particular "snowflake" of T that we all have. But unfortunately there are, of course, lot's of negative tilted stories and I related to parts of those too; It's a mix. I think the reason for this is because for all the inconsistencies, lack of any cause/effect pattern with it's random nature (at least for me), and all the unknown about this terrible thing, I've come to see that the one "known" is that everybody's "Brand" of T (it's exact pitch or sound, it's magnitude/Loudness, it's response to an input if any, it's frequency as defined by % of "good", tolerable, average bad, very bad and horrible days, among so many other variables) is totally Unique and Different. We all have our own "Snowflake" of this thing, not to mention that each of our brains and related anatomical/emotional systems differ, thus we relate to these stories (success or not so) differently, and take different things from them, good or bad. That's not to say there are no overlaps and some common threads - I think there clearly are, and that's a good thing. So, while I don't know a whole lot about this undesirable thing (although I'm also regrettably no novice to it either, so I know my fair share at least!), but that is one thing I do know, having learned and observed over the years. Still, I take any positives (for me) out of these reads where I can, coupled with the ever advancing medical research and technology and slowly a better understanding of this monster (so you know I'm not quite "habituated").

Summary of my T Snowflake:

• Length of Time: Will be 4 years, 3rd week this April, when I got up one day and the life I had was gone. Replacing it a significantly reduced quality of life, simply stated

• The Sound: High pitch squeal (the pretty common one...boy I've heard of some really weird ones), occasionally mixed with a hiss, and once in a while mostly a hiss ("preferred"). Both ears, although essentially more central inside my head. Every now and then, "favors" (boy, that's the Wrong word) the left side. About 20% of the time it also pulses with my blood flow/heart beat. Lovely.

• The Frequency: Chronic 27/7. Never complete silence. (I suspect for most of the folks where it "comes and goes", half the time or less, are not reading this or much involved with TT, etc. anyway)

• The Magnitude: Moderate-Severe. Meaning for me, about 75% my waking hours (7-8 out of 10 days) it's moderately LOUD to severely LOUD. About 25% of the time, it's a "better" to "good" day, i.e. noticeably lower in volume (once in a while within that 25% comes along a real, real good day or part of a day - as close to "silence" and resemblance of the previous life taken, as I ever get). Wow, but the monster is not gone, just hiding and ALWAYS comes back, sometimes with most vengeance following the better of the minority better days. (in the early days I was naïve that maybe it was going away, but now I know better and unfortunately prepare for it's loud, miserable return....for days). From what I hear, some form of this variability with that cruel, brief taste approaching a "normal" life, for those of us fortunate enough to have had or remember one, is not uncommon. Why, What's going on those times? - the $Billion question???

• The "Cause": Unknown with any degree of certainty. I hear a lot op people talk about the day or week it started and exactly what happened, and why. Clearly, for some people it's exposure to loud noise (over years, or a sudden blast) - such as IUD in the terrorist wars, or tragic events such as the Boston Marathon, etc., etc. Some have said a bad cold combined with a airplane Severe hearing loss (maybe just do to aging/bad luck) Different things. I fall into the 95% normal hearing for my age within regular hearing ranges, but noticeable drop off at the higher ranges, as many of us in our 50's have, (but no Tinnitus). So they add in the "Stress" bucket (which a lot of us also have, I very certainly have my share running a business 24 years (long hours, constant issues to deal with, lot's of people, etc.). But again, the correlation there is not very high at all. Then they talk of a "trigger" Not sure that is the same as an actual "cause or not? I did have some dental work 3 weeks prior. Who knows? Thus, the "Unknown" cause category.

• What I've Tried: This is getting long enough, so won't detail it over the nearly 4 years. Let's say all the typical attempts/suggestions, plus some. Both eastern and western pills, potions, treatments, technologies, across the board. Have tried most of it. Not a very pleasant journey (that still continues) with lots of dashed hope (and closing in on 1 year's tuition at a decent college)

Closing Thoughts

So if you've actually read through this, it seems like some people have had it far less time than me, and I truly feel for those who have noted their suffering much longer. Success stories - it's always nice to hear them whether it be "habituation" with the aid of some kind of treatment, or more on it's own through a mindset, to "get used to it" or tuck it in the background. However, my overall thoughts, as mentioned, will echo part of some others I've read or heard. It would seem logical that some people have a worse "case" of T than others, just like any other ailment, sickness, disease, etc. And that's even staying within the "Chronic" zone. In my view, the two most defining components of this this thing are Magnitude and Frequency, as I described above. It would just seem logical that, along this continuum, the really poor folks that have it very LOUD, very FREQUENTLY have a severe case. Those on the other end of the spectrum, not so much (and don't get me wrong, any T is a bad thing and we are all in the same boat). As far as "habituation" or tucking it away, it would seem a more achievable task or percentage for those with a mild case, than those who are tangibly much worse. In other words, in my case - the 25% better state and the rather rare "taste" of a "level 1 our even 1/2 day, may be the norm for some (one person wrote they felt some more comfort knowing people they know also said they had T, even her own father who never mentioned it. But then the key ending statement ("but not as bad as me"!). Then there are the horrific cases of people that have, for example, my 75% as their 97%, or worse, the most bad days within my 75% as their 97%. While none of us know exactly what's going on inside someone else's "T" head (as if we could switch heads for a week or two), it seems clear to me that along this continuum of Magnitude/Frequency, some were fatefully dealt a worse hand than others, and their chances at writing a success story, while not impossible, or significantly less. One day when scientists or doctors can actually "measure" how high/hard those broken, misfiring nerves are actually firing an un-stimulated electronic signal, that will give us great insight to this.

In closing, to me I have (like many of you) had to reconcile with a significantly lower quality of life, practically happening overnight about 4 years ago. Plain and simple. Yes, I admit that on a few occasions I think I can "get used to it" (I really hate that terminology!), especially on a better day or 2, or maybe 3. That is until 5 bad to terrible days pound me in a row right after. I live and continue forward based on two main elements of "HOPE"

1. That 25% very tolerable part of my T days. Some how, some way modern medicine has to find something to that because it happens (and to many other too). While there is nothing even coming close to a correlation of intentinal input or a recognized outside factor of cause/effect for when the better days occur, at least they do and (so far) my T has pretty much held to that roughly 75/25 ratio (wish it was the other way around!). So at least I have this precious minority of days to hang on to, and the hope that I'll live to be around for when that significant, statistically reliable breakthrough happens. With the sad events of the world today, "T" continues to get more attention in the research and medical community.

2. The hope of success stories, esp from those that have struggled through a bad case, for years. Maybe it will just go away or at least diminish on it's own (wishful thinking, but have to try and stay positive, or that something I'm tyring, or combo of, will work) Maybe one day I'll have to concede and "make the best of it" as some people have said when theyhave the ability to do that, things actually do get better. I'm just not sure that can work for all of us with our different T snowflakes, but I won't rule it out. Still, and esp because I get those"tastes", I'm still going to be trying the next thing that makes the most sence to me, if it's affordable. I wan't this either gone, or significantly reduced (not as loud for not as long). HOPE springs eternal, and keeps me going, as I'm sure it does for all of you too.

Let's HOPE we are all able to write a success story. Maybe each our own unique story of how our snowflake had a soft landing, or maybe a scientific breakthrough; a cure or close to it!

Wishing you all well, and more silence in your lives.

David, MA.

 

[uncle vikin]

Thanks for your post David .I pray that there searchers are close to something to helpo r cure T .I believe theya re on to something and will soon be able to give a real treatment or medicine real soon.Mike

 

[Rog]

All very nice that you found a way to deal with your low grade Tinnitus. For this of us who have had this insanity for over 6 to 10 yrs., sorry it depresses me. I currently have cancer and the chemo and radiation have increased my Tinnitus to the point that I feel I can longer cope. No sleep for five days does not make for positive thinking. The T is so loud that it feel like it is blowing the back of my head off. Im happy for those of you who have not had to suffer as long as some us. God Bless you.

I wish to you a very positive and success with your treatment. God bless you too.

 

[John Meyers]

Hang in there. The first couple of months were the worst. I was taking ambien to try to sleep, and I was using a masker. I was a zombie, getting very little sleep.

I stopped with the ambien, and I decided to stop with the masker too. Eventually I discovered that my thoughts drifted to other things besides my T as I lay in bed at night.

Oddly, when I "gave up hope" that my T would go away, acceptance seemed much easier. Perhaps that was around the time my mind, on its own, began to feel less "threatened" by this alien sound.

As for what caused it - well, I know, and it was my own mistake. That was difficult to accept. But I have noticed that many people that have T and that don't know what caused it also dwell on what may have caused the T- was it x, y or z? Was it something I did? And so on. I don't know which is worse - knowing you caused it (my case), knowing some illness or drug caused it, or never knowing. In my case, it took a lot of time to forgive myself for what I did to my ears. In the case of the latter, I've read many a poster lament "why me?" But the best thing to do it accept it and move on.

For me, focusing on the people in my life, and knowing that they need me, helped me move on. I have to be there for them, and I'm thankful for the time I have with them.

Nice post. Thank you!

Someone mentioned that many of the armed forces that come back from the middle east have T from intense battlefield noise. (I never heard a WW II or Vietnam vet complain about T either but they must have had it)

I've only seen one Iraq vet on this site so I'm guessing that most eventually habilitate and/or think that T is child's play compared to what they saw/experienced over there.

When T really gets to me, I just think of those guys, what they gave up, and what they are going through compared to the high pitch "hiss" in my right ear..

 

[Scarlet]

Thank you for sharing