I've Given Up, Tinnitus Has Ruined Everything for Me

[Cameron C]

In october, I made some insanely stupid decisions that I beat myself up for everyday.

First issue came from taking a joy ride in my friends car. During that time, he blasted his system (expensive too) for about a minute. My ears werent covered until about half way through because he didnt warn me prior and I was intoxicated and didnt really notice until a bit later. But, it didnt seem to cause my T then. Still seemed like sounds were a bit off though. (But I think thats when my ears were initially damaged)

Anyways, less than a week later I listened to an album with earbuds. Used them on my macbook (which i usually dont) at about half volume. After listening to the entire album in one session (cause im the definition of retarded) my ears were hit with an insane ringing.

Went down after a few days of initial shock but has stayed at the same level ever since. It left me with a ringing in my right and a high pitched buzz on my left. Ive done what most have here and have just been told to suck it up. For me, that's too much to swallow.

I have major depression and already have problems focusing in school. This has made everything soooooooo much worse. I have panic attacks, constant stress and anxiety, and sooooo much more depression due to the things I did to my ears.

I havent had a full nights sleep since october. I dont know what to do, it looks like we arent anywhere close to something that can at least improve noise induced cases.

I have no hope for myself anymore, and now ive been in the darkest spot my life has ever taken me. Im so scared ..

 

[nj78]

Wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I am pretty new to T as well and also still coming to terms with the fact that this will stay with me for the rest of my life. I guess we can only hope that with time it will get better, and maybe, just maybe, someone will eventually find a cure.

 

[Cameron C]

Wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I am pretty new to T as well and also still coming to terms with the fact that this will stay with me for the rest of my life. I guess we can only hope that with time it will get better, and maybe, just maybe, someone will eventually find a cure.

Agreed, as long as it happens in our lifetime. I don't mind waiting years if theres real hope. Habituating with T isnt a cure, not all forms of T you can just pretend arent there and hope they will go away. I wish it were that easy though

 

[Dana]

Try listening to some source of music at very low volume. Your brain may take the decision to muzzle the frequencies that your hear very loudly in order to hear the music. It may work for you, or it may not. That is just a suggestion.
If it doesn'T work, there may be other solutions. PM me.
Do not despair. I am a T veteran and very loud tinnitus does not scare me anymore. It became old news. I know that after loud T (which here we call "a spike") better days will come. Try to take one day at a time, do not jump to conclusions that it will be like this for the rest of the time, cause it is not true and you would only freak out and add to the T from hearing loss some T from anxiety/stress.
The beginning is the hardest. The newbies have it the worst.
In the first 6-18 months T may go away completely! You are far from being a "chronic sufferer".
If music does not help, you may try white noise or noise of other color.
The most important thing is to protect your ears from now on from loud noises. Very important. Give your ears a rest. Rest them on some low noise to give them something else better to do (process the low noise).
If you do not take ears protection seriously, the T may worsen and become "reactive" (get louder every time after a loud noise), which would be a shame. Even if that happens it's not the end of your life, but it preferable not to happen.
Take heart. Do not lose hope!

 

[billie48]

Welcome to the forum @Cameron C and here you are never alone, as most of us have been where you are, and many have very dark thoughts too including myself. You have suffered acoustic trauma. Don't know if prednisone will help you, but never hurt to have a try of that. A member just posted here that his T of 8 months went lower after a prednisone treatment. So you never know.

Your T is still very new. So there is no need to project the future based on your darkest time. That was the mistake I made when my ultra high pitch dog whistle T and servere hyperacusis turned me into a mess initially. I had relentless anxiety and panic attacks, not to say depression, sleeplessness and suicide ideations. Life was so unlivable with so much suffering daily. I never thought I could recover and see good life again. But never say never. Today I live a normal, happy and absolutely enjoyable life. I just celebrated my birthday with the family after vacationing in paradise Hawaii having a blast there. T can go to hell while I enjoy life in my little heaven. I thought T was an end game. No it isn't. Now I know. I didn't believe it at first during the first year or two. But now I know life can still be good regardless of T high or low.

I wrote my success story and share the strategies I used to help turn myself around. Try read up many success stories so you know you will have a high chance to get better and you won't despair so much. Here is my success story but in the Success Stories Forum there are hundreds of such stories. People do get better over time especially if they learn to apply some success strategies. You can get better too. Don't give up. Take care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Sven]

I don't know how loud yours is, but your story isn't that much different from mine (or from others' I guess) and I know your feelings.

Not much comfort right now, but you will feel better in a while and experience it less and less with time, cure or no cure.

 

[Paulie87]

I got tinnitus at 22 mate. I know it sucks bad to get it young, and I did think my life was over, but it wasn't. It took me 6 months before I started seeing positive and I had Hyperacusis and Reactive T.

You will be fine.

 

[Capricornus]

@Paulie87 Do you still have reactive T?

 

[Paulie87]

@Paulie87 Do you still have reactive T?

Yeah I do. It comes and goes.

 

[glynis]

Hi Cameron,
Hope you are been looked after by your doctor with depression and some counselling to support you through this difficult time.
Ask your doctor about melatonin as will help you sleep or a low antidepresant like nortryptaline to help you sleep and can help tinnitus for some people.
Playing natural sounds through the night set below your tinnitus sound will help your brain focus on the sound you have chosen and not focus on your tinnitus and will help you cope better in the day.
Try not be scared as we are here around the clock for you to give you support.
Tinnitus comes with unwanted emotions but will pass in time as you adjust to your tinnitus sound.
TRY keep sound on around you as will help take your mind off your sound and talk to family how you are feeling and why.
Life will get better for you so try stay positive
..lots of love glynis

 

[Tyler Montgomery]

You're gonna be alright.

 

[Mario martz]

Habituation is not a Myth! you will be alright

 

[Dan-in-MD]

I'm still new to Tinnitus--constant since May of 2016. Masking and background noise helps a lot. Avoid completely quiet environments!!

I've kept my life going, and I'm doing well, but I am not as happy as before T. It's going to take time.

I put a lot of focus on exercising since T so I'm in better physical condition.

My general practitioner prescribed Cymbalta (Google it) and my productivity at work shot way up after starting it--a huge difference.

I have Xanax for anxiety and although it works, I think I need to get those ear maskers. The really good ones cost $2,500+ so I've been using iPhone apps like "Tinnitus Relief" or "Sleep Sound" (with which you can create sound mixes).

For sleeping, I have Ambien. The ironic thing is I got myself off Ambien in March. One the Tinnitus started in May I said f-it and started taking it again.

I feel like the medical establishment has really dropped the ball regarding Tinnitus treatment and Therapy.

Good luck.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Masking and background noise helps a lot. Avoid completely quiet environments!!

Try to keep the masking sound below your tinnitus. If you cover up your tinnitus with the masking sound you will never habituate to the tinnitus. The brain cannot habituate to tinnitus if it cannot hear it.
Michael

 

[glynis]

@Dan-in-MD ,
If you are after meds for sleep then instead of a sleeping tablet a low dose antidepressant is better and helps anxiety....sleeping tablets long term are best avoided....lots of love glynis

 

[nj78]

As a new T sufferer, it's disheartening to read how many people seem to end up on antidepressants, anti anxiety drugs, sleeping pills, etc due to this. This can't be good for our health, especially in the long-term. If they would just find a way to treat T we wouldn't need all this crap. But maybe the pharma industry is happy that we are lifelong hooked on their other drugs, why should they cure T.

 

[Dan-in-MD]

On the masking below the volume of Tinnitus, yes I've been told that. And I'm doing that as I type as I ride home on the subway.

Ambien is not something I want to take long term. As I mentioned, I got myself off of it a couple months before my Tinnitus started.

I can still remember the first two weeks. Doctors offering no help or guidance. I had to learn much on my own, and then the Doctors that *do know* what's what pretty much echo what I've learned with not much else to add.

Between Feb and July, my mother in law, uncle, wife's uncle, and friend died, and it was pretty stressful. I've had an enormously busy year working on a big project and lining myself up for a promotion, which is on track, so work has been a higher percentage of my time (getting home now at 10pm). I also just sat for a certification exam which involved a lot of study. I'm heading to Disney World between Xmas and New Year (which is, of course, primarily for my daughter--logistical stress), and I'm preparing for a house purchase this spring.

So stress is pretty much a constant right now. The Xanax and Ambien have helped me deal with some of the symptoms of living with Tinnitus, as had the Cymbalta, but I realize they're not long term solutions (at least, not the Xanax and Ambien).

I was a voracious reader before T. That's one thing I would like to get back. Since then, it's been mainly audiobooks. This is a life changing thing. Fortunately, my wife has been there for me, and understands. She had a (fortunately) brief episode of it (so she gets it) and has been my rock of support.

 

[Rasmus]

As a new T sufferer, it's disheartening to read how many people seem to end up on antidepressants, anti anxiety drugs, sleeping pills, etc due to this. This can't be good for our health, especially in the long-term. If they would just find a way to treat T we wouldn't need all this crap. But maybe the pharma industry is happy that we are lifelong hooked on their other drugs, why should they cure T.

I got T about 2 years ago at the start i had problem with sleeping, but to years after i can sleep like i did before i got my T without any problems at all. (when there is no sound at all around me my T sounds like a machine/car on all the time) If i can get use to that then most people can do that to. It just takes time :/ most people will get use to it after around 6 mounth maybe a little more. Im 22 now i got it when i was 20. Trust me on this T will get better with time.

Sorry bad english :/

 

[JasonP]

In the meantime get your hearing checked and try hearing aids with maskers. This is just temporary. Basically turn the masking on when you are tired of the buzzing and ringing. It can help calm you down. Also, ask your doc if he thinks something in the short term like Xanax can help calm you down. (Don't take every day though...bad problems can happen if you take it too long). Xanax can sometimes cut the ringing down, but the idea is that if you know you have something in your pocket to take, you can calm down easier and not take it. Hopefully, calming down, your T will go down some. Also, its very important to get your depression under control. Personally, I am on one mood stabilizer that helps and I am thinking about using two. One for an "anti-depressant" like effect and the other for a "calming" effect. Still not sure though...I would like to do without them. I had depression before T so I know how it is. I am better now than I have been in a long time but the mood stabilizing part is very important to me.

 

[Ctw]

I just started cymbalta as well as Lamictal. Kolonopin for anxiety and Ambien for sleep.

 

[Kimberly1080]

I so remember those days when my tinnitus first started. I was on my way to work, it was quiet in my car and it was as if a switched turned on and I heard a loud ringing in my ears. I thought I was going to go crazy. I worked in a quiet environment and when it didn't go away, I made an appointment with my PCP that very day. She referred me to an ENT, who gave me a hearing test and told me it was due to hearing loss. I still don't know how I got hearing loss. Those weeks were difficult and I isolated a lot as it was so unbearable.

Thankfully, I eventually adjusted to it. I masked the sound by using a sound machine all night. Hubby adjusted to it. The one sound on there that helps me the most is crickets. Sometimes, when it's really loud, I have used a nature sound app on my phone and I would add other sounds to the cricket sound. I go sleep on the couch as I think that many sounds would be too much for my husband. I can add relaxing musical piano notes that it plays, which helps calm my anxiety down and I get sleepy again. If it gets me through the night to sleep then it is worth it to have it be loud enough to mask it. I will use the app on my phone when we go on vacation. I have found too that when I lower the amount of sodium and sugar in my diet then it is much quieter to the point I barely notice it. Usually those are the times that every day sounds are going on. I take medication for Epilepsy and that makes me sleepy, so most of the time I sleep pretty soundly. I wake up early though and in the quiet despite the sound machine that is when I notice it.

For me the most frustrating part separate from T is my hearing loss. I have hearing aids which help immensely, but they don't allow me to catch everything people say and then I am frustrated by the fact that I can't hear them. Restaurants or environments where there is a lot of background noise are the worst.

I enjoy life now and have for years since I was first diagnosed with it. I still would prefer not to have tinnitus, but knowing there are other people out there who are dealing with it has helped me. One story that I recall reading was about a man who at that time was a musician. He developed T and would constantly complain about it to his wife. I don't recall what she said to him, but it was a wake up call for him and he decided to learn to cope with it instead of fighting it. It was very encouraging to me and probably my first story I read of someone who had a success story.

My suggestion is you find what works for you. Search around the internet. Listen to YouTube tinnitus sound maskers to find one that works for you. Download an app, play background music during the day when you are home or have the TV on in the background. Most of all, be kind to yourself about the choices you made. That is causing stress which makes T louder sometimes. See a doctor to see if there is anything that he can suggest or recommend to help you cope. Talk to a therapist who can give you some tools to cope. I also have found when I listen for it to see if it's still there, then I notice it. Your brain does adjust, but like others have said it will take some time. That time frame is different for everyone.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this and I hope things improve for you. For now, take comfort in the fact that other people understand what you are going through.

By the way, the app I used is called Nature Sounds by Relaxio.

 

[StubbyJ]

OP, how are you doing?

 

[AmericanJosh]

I have had T since last fall due to acoustic trauma. At times it is invasive, but the BEST thing you can do is NOT FEAR IT. It won't hurt you. Make friends with it. Invite it in. Talk to it. Seriously, this sounds nuts, but truly it works. It helps you habituate to it. When you get anxious about it you make it worse and even more invasive. I protect my ears appropriately (hi-fi earplugs at church, movies, loud events and full protection for loud situations) and always have noise on to help distract me. I listen to podcasts and youtube all day at work in the background. At night, I love the thunderstorm soundtracks (10 hours) I find on youtube.