I am a 45 old Asian male. It took me some 6 months before I decide to write this post because I had been hoping (secretively) that all this is a mistake - that Tinnitus would just go - and I never have to show my face here ... even though I have spent many hours upon hours reading here.
I got Tinnitus on June 18, 2016 (I know because that's when I started searching for "ringing in the ear" on my iPhone. It wasn't until a week later that I started google on my laptop, so I think it came slowly, but within a week, I was in full panic mode.). I don't know that cause. It just came one night, when my wife innocuously asked me whether I could hear the neighbor's fan again (I was always very sensitive to that kind of stuff), and I said no, but I thought I could here something else...
Within a week, I went to see my ENT, who ordered a hearing test but told me that my ears looked just fine. It didn't get the audiology test until 2 weeks later (due to the audiologist backup), but my ENT didn't want to see me again, only writing me a letter that audiology test came up fine, except for minor -25 - 30 DB hearing loss near upper end of hearing test (8k). He recommended to go the "conservative" option and do nothing ... and see if it goes away.
I also had a talk with my audiologist, during which I also told her that I think I could always hear something high pitched since I was a kid - always thought that was sound of silence. But that what I am hearing now is something qualitatively different. Now it's not just louder, it's intrusive.
Her theory is that for whatever reason I always had T, but that with my recent stress (I was diagnosed with arthritis when I took a MRI for a frozen shoulder, which magically went away; then I got serious eye floaters; then I had a neck strain that caused really a really bad head ache that I thought was a sign of aneurysm), I somehow lost that ability to block it out, and that my limbic system is now tuning into my T.
My T changes in intensity quite a lot. I rarely have complete silence, but on quiet moments (which often happens when I go hiking), I can barely hear it. While my T is not necessarily LOUD when it's screeching (eeewww), it is not maskable. When it is on like that, I could hear it still at the local airport near the runway where airplanes take off.
I have tried acupuncture for 4 - 5 months, including Chinese message (tuina), but I don't think it's done much. My T fluctuates. I don't know if it would have been worse if I had not done it, but I certainly haven't gotten better.
According to the acupuncture doctor, it's my long term depression, recent anxiety and stress, and my many years of sleep deprivation (pushing myself too hard) that has caused my condition. I have seen three doctors, and they all say similar things... but in a way who cares what they say if they can't treat me...
I have read Julian Cowan's book and I believe in what he says. I think many years of stress has caused my central nervous system to go into red alert. But I don't have any reason yet to believe that massage and psychotherapy, etc. can solve my T, but I will try. I am running out of good options.
I have always been healthy till now. I rarely ever visit any doctors ... till now.
My T is such that I am able to fall asleep ok. But sometimes in the middle of the night after getting up and not hearing silence, I have trouble falling asleep.
In last month or two, I have learned to control my emotions so I no longer have panic attacks.
I have seen one other ENT at Stanford (I live in Silicon Valley), but he had no answer either ...
So here I am, a week from my 6 months anniversary and deciding to finally break my silence and write my story here.
I used to treasure silence. I would get maps that show the few last remaining areas of the earth that offers complete silence (away from roads and air routes) ... and imagine traveling there. So much for that plan now - now that I have Tinnitus.
My T has debilitated me. Together with my floaters (I am very near sighted), within a few months, I seem to have lost both sight and hearing...
The only thing that keeps me going is to think that despite Tinnitus, I still recognize that I only have limited amount of time here on earth, and limited of time I can spend with my children (who are now 3 and 5). I don't want to miss my children or my life because of T. So I must go on.
I also have a very good friend who had sudden hearing loss in one of his ears. Now he can barely hear with that ear, and has terrible reactive tinnitus on that ear, too.
I also have friends and colleagues who have to fight cancer...
So I take things in perspective.
But you know, still, T sucks for me. I had hoped all this was a bad dream. But it's real... I will always hold out hope Tinnitus will leave one day. The quiet days certainly give me hope - as does reading about other people's struggles and successes.
Life is too short to be weak. We must be strong and make the best of what I have...
I got Tinnitus on June 18, 2016 (I know because that's when I started searching for "ringing in the ear" on my iPhone. It wasn't until a week later that I started google on my laptop, so I think it came slowly, but within a week, I was in full panic mode.). I don't know that cause. It just came one night, when my wife innocuously asked me whether I could hear the neighbor's fan again (I was always very sensitive to that kind of stuff), and I said no, but I thought I could here something else...
Within a week, I went to see my ENT, who ordered a hearing test but told me that my ears looked just fine. It didn't get the audiology test until 2 weeks later (due to the audiologist backup), but my ENT didn't want to see me again, only writing me a letter that audiology test came up fine, except for minor -25 - 30 DB hearing loss near upper end of hearing test (8k). He recommended to go the "conservative" option and do nothing ... and see if it goes away.
I also had a talk with my audiologist, during which I also told her that I think I could always hear something high pitched since I was a kid - always thought that was sound of silence. But that what I am hearing now is something qualitatively different. Now it's not just louder, it's intrusive.
Her theory is that for whatever reason I always had T, but that with my recent stress (I was diagnosed with arthritis when I took a MRI for a frozen shoulder, which magically went away; then I got serious eye floaters; then I had a neck strain that caused really a really bad head ache that I thought was a sign of aneurysm), I somehow lost that ability to block it out, and that my limbic system is now tuning into my T.
My T changes in intensity quite a lot. I rarely have complete silence, but on quiet moments (which often happens when I go hiking), I can barely hear it. While my T is not necessarily LOUD when it's screeching (eeewww), it is not maskable. When it is on like that, I could hear it still at the local airport near the runway where airplanes take off.
I have tried acupuncture for 4 - 5 months, including Chinese message (tuina), but I don't think it's done much. My T fluctuates. I don't know if it would have been worse if I had not done it, but I certainly haven't gotten better.
According to the acupuncture doctor, it's my long term depression, recent anxiety and stress, and my many years of sleep deprivation (pushing myself too hard) that has caused my condition. I have seen three doctors, and they all say similar things... but in a way who cares what they say if they can't treat me...
I have read Julian Cowan's book and I believe in what he says. I think many years of stress has caused my central nervous system to go into red alert. But I don't have any reason yet to believe that massage and psychotherapy, etc. can solve my T, but I will try. I am running out of good options.
I have always been healthy till now. I rarely ever visit any doctors ... till now.
My T is such that I am able to fall asleep ok. But sometimes in the middle of the night after getting up and not hearing silence, I have trouble falling asleep.
In last month or two, I have learned to control my emotions so I no longer have panic attacks.
I have seen one other ENT at Stanford (I live in Silicon Valley), but he had no answer either ...
So here I am, a week from my 6 months anniversary and deciding to finally break my silence and write my story here.
I used to treasure silence. I would get maps that show the few last remaining areas of the earth that offers complete silence (away from roads and air routes) ... and imagine traveling there. So much for that plan now - now that I have Tinnitus.
My T has debilitated me. Together with my floaters (I am very near sighted), within a few months, I seem to have lost both sight and hearing...
The only thing that keeps me going is to think that despite Tinnitus, I still recognize that I only have limited amount of time here on earth, and limited of time I can spend with my children (who are now 3 and 5). I don't want to miss my children or my life because of T. So I must go on.
I also have a very good friend who had sudden hearing loss in one of his ears. Now he can barely hear with that ear, and has terrible reactive tinnitus on that ear, too.
I also have friends and colleagues who have to fight cancer...
So I take things in perspective.
But you know, still, T sucks for me. I had hoped all this was a bad dream. But it's real... I will always hold out hope Tinnitus will leave one day. The quiet days certainly give me hope - as does reading about other people's struggles and successes.
Life is too short to be weak. We must be strong and make the best of what I have...
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