Sorry abut your mom and to hear that your T has come back, Jewel. It is often hard when the sensation is back again and the body will treat it like reacting to a new sensation. It is also double as tough when your have the stress & grief of losing your mom on top of the T suffering. I hope that it will remember the old days and will gradually dampen the sharpness of the sensation so you will find it easier to bear. I have lost a son at young age many years ago so I understand the grieving process. It takes time to slowly heal.
In the mean time, please don't panic over the T. It may take many forms and many tones. One famous celebrity, David Letterman, told us back in 1996 that his T had two tones, high scream and low hum, as if it is testing the emergency broadcast system in his brain 7/24 while he is cracking jokes to entertain his audience. William Shatner also had severe T at one time but doing ok now.
That show may sound funny. But it shows T can affect all walks of life and life goes on, T high or low, single or many tones. I learn to live with my loud ultra high pitched T, which is like a dentist drill x 10-20 times pitch. I once played a video clip matching my T to my family and every one of them screamed instantly, covering their ear and ran away as fast as they could. That was some bad ringing in my ears. Then worst, I was soon hit by severe hyperacusis, making all normal sounds glassy and piercingful hurtful, as if some one is scratching glass with metal in my ears. I had to wear ear plugs all the time. But the plugs made the T so dominant & harsh. No escape one way or the other. Being anxiety/panic prone prior to T & H, these soon joined in and T & H just opened the flood gate of hell of relentless anxiety & panic attacks with their own brand of horrible symptoms. Each day was a long, dark day. I had to survive on meds. I often thought I would never survive those sufferings. But here I am today back to normal, enjoying an absolutely enjoyable & productive life. So never say never.
So even if your T comes back, it may just fade slowly or you will get used to it. Hope the grief for the loss of your mom will heal slowly over time and you will be back to living your life with joy again. God bless you and I will remember you in my prayer.
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