Learning to Live With It

[MatthijsDJ]

Some people seems to get upset when doctors are saying: "Learn to live with it". But they are right, off course you can try to find the magic cure and try every supplement that is available.. but there is just a big change that nothing will help and that the best "cure" is learning to live with it.

I fighted six month against T and mild H, I tried to cure myself the natural way but I only became depressed. So depressed and obsessed with T that I even couldn't sleep anymore. Not sleeping caused a lot of other issues and made me so depressed that I only was thinking of one solution. I ended in a psych ward for a week and from there recovery started slowly.

I'm still not there; but with the help of a psychiatrist that prescribed me Lormetazepam 2mg for sleeping, 1 mg Lorazepam per day to turn off my stress reaction and Mirtazapine to fix my depression. I'am able to live again, the psych also told me that "You need to learn to live with it" and that 50% is changing my reaction to it (meditation, cbt etc..) and the other 50% needs to be done by my brain so that it won't see T as a issue but just as background sound.

The meds are now supporting me and my brain in the recovery process, an yes I'am aware of the benzo addiction issues but with the help of a great team of experts I'am sure that I will also survive that. Live isn't always easy and is a rocky road but with the help of meds, doctors and God I'am sure that thing will turn out just fine.. It only needs time, and focus on other things than T. Nowdays already can focus myself on happy thing, but within a few days/weeks I will become dad for the 2nd time. I'am pretty sure that my focus will be one something else for sure .

 

[Tamika]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. You certainly have been through hell, and its so great to hear you are turning the corner and now making progress. Love to hear how you are going in the weeks to come if you have time to come back here and update us.
Regards
Tamika

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Hmmm made some typo's . No edit function?

 

[RicoS]

Gefeliciteerd Mathijs !!! Een keertje in het Nerderlands mag ook wel

 

[Joeri]

ja, dat zou mooi zijn.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Hehe gelukkig niet de enige Nederlander hier dus.. Opzich wel logisch want sinds ik T heb hoor ik veel meer mensen met T om me heen..

Back 2 English, tonight I had a hard time to fall a sleep. The T was loud, but for some reason I wasn't really afraid of it anymore.. I just wasn't able to sleep, first I panicked "Oh no, I got used to the benzos.." and then stopped panicking. It just doesn't help. After 7 weeks of Mirt I feel that the depression is becoming less and less, thoughts are still here but I'am able to get out of them.

So for now I will stick with the benzos and ad to get all the stress, panic and anxiety away that I have build up the last 8 months.

 

[jacomien]

Hallo Matthijs,
Zeker niet de enige Nederlander.

I am in it for a bit more than 1,5 years. And it is still bothering me every day. Most of my thoughts are with my T.
The worst panic is gone, thank God. And sometimes I have a few hours that it doesn't bother me so much, but that is not often enough. I am quite depressed, don't take any pills, because I tried some in the beginning and I did nt like that feeling too. Because of all the panic and stress I have adrenal fatigue now, so lots of more physical problems.

Wishing you all the best, Jacomien.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

It's hard I know, I sometimes think that I should end it all... But than quickly think "99,9% gets used to it, and I won't be the 0,1 that can't handle it.

There are meds to help you in the process, so I made the decision (far too late...) to use them and start recovery.

Praying for you, good luck!

 

[Dubbyaman]

I am happy some find peace with T and get on to a better existence but that doesnt change the fact that this is still a big problem that keeps going unanswered. Most people like myself get T because of the lack of awareness and that is just crap. We didn't even have the right to know that we were creating a never ending noise that theres no cure for. Yup. Way to go you piece of shit doctors and ENTs. Lets shove a sound horn in your ear and give it to you then kick you while your down while your lives spiral out of control.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

I agree that it is a big problem, however we can't blame the doctors. They can't fix everything, and I started to accept that fact.

My hearing is perfect, hence the best reason for my T seems to be stress. However I went to parties with very loud music, and yes they warned me regarding damaged hearing, but for some reason I thought "Well, you have hearing aids..". However nobody was warning me regarding T or H, I think there should be far more awareness regarding T and H.

 

[pactribe]

My hearing is perfect, hence the best reason for my T seems to be stress. However I went to parties with very loud music, and yes they warned me regarding damaged hearing, but for some reason I thought "Well, you have hearing aids..". However nobody was warning me regarding T or H, I think there should be far more awareness regarding T and H.

With your hearing being perfect, do you mean that you have '0' (zero) DB loss over all frequencies in your audiogram?

 

[Chris Alexander]

@MatthijsDJ

I have an anxiety disorder and i can tell you with 100% certainty that anxiety causes ringing in the ears. 1 million percent.

This is why everyone here is always told - sort your anxiety and the battle is more or less done for you. Easier said than done though, anxiety is a total beast.

Glad things are on the up for you, stay strong and keep up the good fight!

Chris

 

[MatthijsDJ]

@Chris Alexander I was diagnosed with a anxiety disorder, however my new care taker thinks it's more drive by stress. So life stress can result in my case in anxiety. This is the third time I have "such" an attack. One with marriage and buying a new home whilst the economic crisis kicks in, 2nd when I heard that my wife was pregnant of our first. And now with the pregnancy of the 2nd and some other changes.

The first time I was helped by a good psychologist, the 2nd time I handled the anxiety very well hence it didn't had a great impact. The third time (now), T and minor H kicked in, which makes it very difficult to handle, however with the help of a psychologist I was able to handle it better already; however I became suicidal, I switched over to another one. Not that he is better, but the group for which he is working has more possibilities to treat me.

Anexiet is a beast indeed, still fighting that beast. But this time with the good tools, medication, meditation and doing the things that I'am loving again.

Kr,
Matthijs

 

[Chris Alexander]

Glad you are doing well.

I have had 7 such attacks/episodes for a variety of reasons. Always takes my body/bran about a month to sort itself out then it goes away.

Horrible each time though.

Good luck!

 

[MonkLN]

Hi Mathijs,

Hier ook een Nederlander.

Good to read your doing somewhat ok. Hope it will get better over time. You are not the only one out there. (i live in Zoetermeer btw). Next tuesday i have my first appointment at the GGMD in Zoetermeer for an intake for the Howto deal with Tinnitus course based on the work of Olav Wagenaar. Next friday i have an appointment with Rene Voortwist from oorvoorgeluid.nl. Last thursday i had a free consult of an hour with Rene. I had T and H himself and now coaches people who suffer from T and H. If you want i'll let you know how thing went. Keep it up, and keep positive. You are certainly not alone!

Grtz

 

[MatthijsDJ]

With your hearing being perfect, do you mean that you have '0' (zero) DB loss over all frequencies in your audiogram?

To be honest I don't remember the exact result, however the ENT told my hearing was near perfect. Almost no damage. Hence that's why stress seems to be the main reason for my T. According to her she had more patients with perfect hearing that got T during a stressful period; seems to be the downside of "perfect" hearing. Also because there wasn't any real damage most of other causes of T where ruled out.

Hi Mathijs,

Hier ook een Nederlander.

Good to read your doing somewhat ok. Hope it will get better over time. You are not the only one out there. (i live in Zoetermeer btw). Next tuesday i have my first appointment at the GGMD in Zoetermeer for an intake for the Howto deal with Tinnitus course based on the work of Olav Wagenaar. Next friday i have an appointment with Rene Voortwist from oorvoorgeluid.nl. Last thursday i had a free consult of an hour with Rene. I had T and H himself and now coaches people who suffer from T and H. If you want i'll let you know how thing went. Keep it up, and keep positive. You are certainly not alone!

Grtz

Hi @MonkNL I'am curious what Rene Voortwist can tell you, people that have/had T/H themselves are the best coaches (if they aren't selling snake oil ). For me the mindful thing is starting to help next to the meds.

Cheers,
Matthijs

 

[MonkLN]

Yeah im curious myself too. He seemed like a honest upright person to me when we first talked. So i decided to let hem help me with my T. This morning i had a bad start once again, so i just took 1/2 Oxazepam to let my mind relax a bit more. Keep it up!

 

[RicoS]

Hi Mathijs,

Hier ook een Nederlander.

Good to read your doing somewhat ok. Hope it will get better over time. You are not the only one out there. (i live in Zoetermeer btw). Next tuesday i have my first appointment at the GGMD in Zoetermeer for an intake for the Howto deal with Tinnitus course based on the work of Olav Wagenaar. Next friday i have an appointment with Rene Voortwist from oorvoorgeluid.nl. Last thursday i had a free consult of an hour with Rene. I had T and H himself and now coaches people who suffer from T and H. If you want i'll let you know how thing went. Keep it up, and keep positive. You are certainly not alone!

Grtz

Please let me know too. Ook een nederlander hier en Zoetmeer is voor mij makkelijk te rijden uit Nieuwegein.
!

 

[MonkLN]

I will. Having a really hard day today.. Hope it will give some positive impulses tomorrow..

 

[MatthijsDJ]

When I have a bad I'm just thinking well... used this bad day, use it to train yourself in accepting bad days. My day isn't that great today. Having some none T related intrusive thoughts.. Not fighting against the, just learing to live with them so that they will go away..

 

[MonkLN]

Just came home from my appointment at the GGMD. Most of the talk was pretty standard. Talked about my past, family etc. Then i told her my symptoms. Conclusion was that my symptoms are normal for a T patient. She didnt think i was depressed or almost depressed. All the tips she gave me i already knew. Keep on doing the things you did before. Seek support with people close to you. If you feel bad, accept it and tell to yourself it will get better. I will get an invite for the short course "Control over Tinnitus"and after that i have an evaluation to check if i need further support. Conclusion for me is that all the information wasnt new to me, but it was good to hear from her (psychologist) that it isnt very likely that i have a depression.

Further, i just read the IWLM/Silvine method based on NLP. Rene Voortwist, the guy i have an appointment with next friday also is a NLP trainer. He told me that his method also is aimed on the subconsiousness.

The psychologist who i talked to today said it isnt wise to jump into multiple methods. But i really believe that Rene can help me, and in a shorter notice. So ill type out an update after i had my first talk to him.

This morning i was feeling pretty bad. I took an Oxazepam and tried to calm myself down. Now, i feel relaxed and my T doesnt bother me that much.. That feeling is sooo good..

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Bad tinnitus today. Didn't sleep well because I didn't take my sleeping pill. So got rebound insomnia. But had a good reasons for skipping it. Became dad for the 2nd time .

So happy News and found out that I nees to tapper off of these pills

 

[RicoS]

Just came home from my appointment at the GGMD. Most of the talk was pretty standard. Talked about my past, family etc. Then i told her my symptoms. Conclusion was that my symptoms are normal for a T patient. She didnt think i was depressed or almost depressed. All the tips she gave me i already knew. Keep on doing the things you did before. Seek support with people close to you. If you feel bad, accept it and tell to yourself it will get better. I will get an invite for the short course "Control over Tinnitus"and after that i have an evaluation to check if i need further support. Conclusion for me is that all the information wasnt new to me, but it was good to hear from her (psychologist) that it isnt very likely that i have a depression.

Further, i just read the IWLM/Silvine method based on NLP. Rene Voortwist, the guy i have an appointment with next friday also is a NLP trainer. He told me that his method also is aimed on the subconsiousness.

The psychologist who i talked to today said it isnt wise to jump into multiple methods. But i really believe that Rene can help me, and in a shorter notice. So ill type out an update after i had my first talk to him.

This morning i was feeling pretty bad. I took an Oxazepam and tried to calm myself down. Now, i feel relaxed and my T doesnt bother me that much.. That feeling is sooo good..

Oxazepam does a good thing ....only when it has done it's work I get the anxiety back 10 times harder. So I only take it when I realy need a break from T.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Started to tapper the lormetazepam and lorazepam. Bit more stressed but guess that it are just withdrawal symptoms. Doing it very slowly to avoid major setbacks.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Well the tapper of the benzo caused a major set-back. Ended up in psych ward again.. Psych diagnosed me with OCD and that gave new insights and he added clomipramine to the mirtazapine...

Started now therapy to deal with my OCD. Last week I had the intake for the OCD therapy and the psych told that he had T also.

One might think, what is this doing in the succes stories thing.. Well I always knew that I was a obbsesive thinker, but never really dealt with it. T is forcing to deal me with it. Days are becomming better, sometimes a period that is a bit worse but those seem to become shorter and shorter.

 

[MatthijsDJ]

Update: The combo mirtazapine and clomipramine is fixing my reaction to T. My issue is that I'am far too obsessed with it.

My T is still there, sometimes loud sometimes I can't even hear it (most parts of the day). But the thing that is making me happy and hopeful for the future is the fact that my H is gone!