Hi,
I've been a long time lurker and decided I would like to be a part of it...
First of all, thank you Tinnitus Talk community for all your advice and stories that has helped me through this unbelievable condition. I decided to say hi because I always find it very helpful when someone shares the story which is similar to mine - and maybe this time someone can find my story somehow useful.
I have tinnitus and some sort of sound sensitivity from a party that includes everything that I now know is almost every possible cause of tinnitus. But I believe my journey with hearing disorders starts earlier.
First of all, almost 2 years ago I was a person that had no serious health issues and had never heard about tinnitus and hyperacusis. But despite this I remember that I started to find loud noises as unpleasant. Like - for no reason. All I can remember is that sounds like coffee grinder, blender, live music, loud music in car etc. started giving me nothing more than a feeling of discomfort (no pain in the ears) - that was just a FEELING. Strange - I thought. But I kept living like this since as I mentioned - I have never heard about something like hyperacusis and also no one except me has issues like that with ears. So I thought that I'm a strange person or maybe this is anxiety that I have had a problem with for years and I should be normal like everybody and was trying to ignore that feeling.
To be honest I have never really liked loud sounds, so I wasn't a concert going person, never listened to loud music in headphones or in car - I kept the volume low or moderate level. I'm a bit neurotic and have eye migraines. But of course when I was younger I went to a couple of concerts, I was going to night clubs and parties like other teenagers. But I never noticed any problems after that. For more than 7 years I wasn't so much a party person anymore, just house parties, outdoor bars etc, 2-3 times per month. Mainly I was working. This feeling that I mentioned started somehow 2 years ago, let's say "out of the blue".
Fast forward to July 2021 - I was at an award-winning party that included outdoor concert, silent disco and bar at the same time. First I decided I would not go to the concert part because I do not like when it's loud and I was concerned about possibly having this "FEELING" once again, which scares me a little bit. I kept drinking beer outside, but anyway they asked me to go on the stage to get the award... It was loud, but somehow bearable. When I got to the stage, a second half of the final song for this concert was playing and I thought that everybody is on the stage so it should be okay; once again I thought that I should ignore this feeling and try to be like "a normal person". Shortly after my ears felt weird - the best description is "I could feel them", maybe a bit muffled. I kept asking people do you "feel that" but they said "no" or "yes but I do not care" - so I decided once again that probably I might care too much. I was on the silent disco for like 1 hour and later I went to the bar.
Next day I woke up and I started to check if everything is okay with my ears. I didn't hear any ringing or anything else but I felt like someone hit me hard in my head. I felt weird. 2 days later I woke up and heard the tinnitus for the first time. It was very silent so I wasn't even sure if I heard it or not. Also none of my friends or family members had ever heard about tinnitus and they also thought I maybe care too much and probably it's stress related or I'm tired.
But then it kept getting more audible and 2 weeks later I finally got to an ENT - the tests showed classic stuff - no hearing loss, perfect hearing and they gave me steroids. They helped a little bit but probably gave me some level of sound sensitivity.
And that's it.
Anyway, the reason why I made this post is to tell you to always listen to yourself. If I knew that I was not crazy, what I've got is a real medical condition - I would never have gone to any concert or any loud place and I would have taken care of my ears properly, which could maybe have prevented me from getting tinnitus.
How do I deal now? I would describe my tinnitus as easily maskable - when I'm focusing on something it goes to the background. I usually can hear it in quiet room. It's not reactive, however, it sometimes spikes when any sudden loud noise occurs or after a loud event (like meeting with 8 people in the same room). I still do not know how it works. Surprisingly I can sleep with my tinnitus. I do not know if it's better or not, what changed is I just learned how to live with it a bit. I'm not overprotecting, I use earmuffs only when needed - when I feel I need them - usually in a loud tram, near construction workers, loud music in the stores, when it's more than 75- 80 dB. I'm not going to loud places but I want to go to the theatre or cinema in the future with earplugs. I'm trying to listen to myself. Of course I wish it never happened but at least I have stopped blaming myself.
I still have hope, bad and good days, fear of noise of all kind, grief, anger and moments of relief and happiness. But this is truly life-changing event. My biggest wish is not to let this thing change me.
I will stay here for a while and post some updates.
I've been a long time lurker and decided I would like to be a part of it...
First of all, thank you Tinnitus Talk community for all your advice and stories that has helped me through this unbelievable condition. I decided to say hi because I always find it very helpful when someone shares the story which is similar to mine - and maybe this time someone can find my story somehow useful.
I have tinnitus and some sort of sound sensitivity from a party that includes everything that I now know is almost every possible cause of tinnitus. But I believe my journey with hearing disorders starts earlier.
First of all, almost 2 years ago I was a person that had no serious health issues and had never heard about tinnitus and hyperacusis. But despite this I remember that I started to find loud noises as unpleasant. Like - for no reason. All I can remember is that sounds like coffee grinder, blender, live music, loud music in car etc. started giving me nothing more than a feeling of discomfort (no pain in the ears) - that was just a FEELING. Strange - I thought. But I kept living like this since as I mentioned - I have never heard about something like hyperacusis and also no one except me has issues like that with ears. So I thought that I'm a strange person or maybe this is anxiety that I have had a problem with for years and I should be normal like everybody and was trying to ignore that feeling.
To be honest I have never really liked loud sounds, so I wasn't a concert going person, never listened to loud music in headphones or in car - I kept the volume low or moderate level. I'm a bit neurotic and have eye migraines. But of course when I was younger I went to a couple of concerts, I was going to night clubs and parties like other teenagers. But I never noticed any problems after that. For more than 7 years I wasn't so much a party person anymore, just house parties, outdoor bars etc, 2-3 times per month. Mainly I was working. This feeling that I mentioned started somehow 2 years ago, let's say "out of the blue".
Fast forward to July 2021 - I was at an award-winning party that included outdoor concert, silent disco and bar at the same time. First I decided I would not go to the concert part because I do not like when it's loud and I was concerned about possibly having this "FEELING" once again, which scares me a little bit. I kept drinking beer outside, but anyway they asked me to go on the stage to get the award... It was loud, but somehow bearable. When I got to the stage, a second half of the final song for this concert was playing and I thought that everybody is on the stage so it should be okay; once again I thought that I should ignore this feeling and try to be like "a normal person". Shortly after my ears felt weird - the best description is "I could feel them", maybe a bit muffled. I kept asking people do you "feel that" but they said "no" or "yes but I do not care" - so I decided once again that probably I might care too much. I was on the silent disco for like 1 hour and later I went to the bar.
Next day I woke up and I started to check if everything is okay with my ears. I didn't hear any ringing or anything else but I felt like someone hit me hard in my head. I felt weird. 2 days later I woke up and heard the tinnitus for the first time. It was very silent so I wasn't even sure if I heard it or not. Also none of my friends or family members had ever heard about tinnitus and they also thought I maybe care too much and probably it's stress related or I'm tired.
But then it kept getting more audible and 2 weeks later I finally got to an ENT - the tests showed classic stuff - no hearing loss, perfect hearing and they gave me steroids. They helped a little bit but probably gave me some level of sound sensitivity.
And that's it.
Anyway, the reason why I made this post is to tell you to always listen to yourself. If I knew that I was not crazy, what I've got is a real medical condition - I would never have gone to any concert or any loud place and I would have taken care of my ears properly, which could maybe have prevented me from getting tinnitus.
How do I deal now? I would describe my tinnitus as easily maskable - when I'm focusing on something it goes to the background. I usually can hear it in quiet room. It's not reactive, however, it sometimes spikes when any sudden loud noise occurs or after a loud event (like meeting with 8 people in the same room). I still do not know how it works. Surprisingly I can sleep with my tinnitus. I do not know if it's better or not, what changed is I just learned how to live with it a bit. I'm not overprotecting, I use earmuffs only when needed - when I feel I need them - usually in a loud tram, near construction workers, loud music in the stores, when it's more than 75- 80 dB. I'm not going to loud places but I want to go to the theatre or cinema in the future with earplugs. I'm trying to listen to myself. Of course I wish it never happened but at least I have stopped blaming myself.
I still have hope, bad and good days, fear of noise of all kind, grief, anger and moments of relief and happiness. But this is truly life-changing event. My biggest wish is not to let this thing change me.
I will stay here for a while and post some updates.
) . For example my mother used to listen to music on headphones so loud that I could hear it in other room but - she has neither tinnitus nor hyperacusis. The same with people on this award-winning party - none of them I know has tinnitus or hyperacusis or even pain in the ears after that.
