Little Grumpy Today

[GeorgiaRose1812]

Hi all, not doing so well today. Long story short I had been doing much better but since coming home on the train and my ears popping/being unable to control the noise levels over the past couple of days, im back to singing noises especially in my right ear which popped worse, and both ears louder than they have been in weeks and I don't know if there's much I can do about it.

I'm feeling upset because I'd been doing fairly well where I am at uni - things had settled down quite a lot, to just a hiss most of the time and occasionally a constant tone but that would just be after a trip to town lasting a day at most and then it would go away again. I hadn't heard the singing noises or high pitches whine I'd had before in a while, unless I stuffed my ears shut, and I was pretty happy. But I had to come home from uni and was faced with the decision between a 3 hour car journey with Mum or a 2 hour train ride with a tunnel. I chose the train because our car has a ridiculously noisy engine, I knew Mum and I wouldn't stop talking and she'd have the radio on.

So anyway I was on the train and it was not too loud, didn't even feel loud at all I wasn't even worried, but when the tunnel came I felt my ears pop as I was expecting but my right ear just felt weird, not like a normal pop at all like a sudden sort of.... I don't know. It didn't hurt at all luckily so maybe it's fine. But then I got home, 20 minute car ride from the train station was unpleasant and then spent the evening talking with my parents because I hadn't seen them in weeks and my ears hurt a bit but not so much that I felt I needed to leave (I've got quite good at telling). But when I went to bed I just could not sleep because of the noise, for the first time in about two weeks I'd say. I figured it would have sorted itself out by the time I woke up but nope, and then I couldn't have a quiet day like I usually would because there's too much Christmas stuff to do and Mum wanted to have the tv on in the background and stuff and kept turning it up when I wasn't looking because she just doesn't seem to get it.

I can manage a quiet day today I think but I'm nearly in tears over it all again. It's my birthday tomorrow (which I'm excited about) but I know it's going to be a 'noisy' day again and to be honest I wish I'd just stayed at uni in the quiet over Christmas and I might have kept getting better. At the moment I'm back to the bloody singing and hissing and pain all the time and I don't know what to do, I don't know if it's going to get better again.

And if it does, I have to get the train back to uni in January and set it off all over again.

And my mum is a new age type, and every time I try and explain that I need to be quiet or whatever or complain she goes on about how I won't do anything to help myself or do what she tells me (this is a whole long saga), she will not listen to what I KNOW is the case and keeps wanting to drive me to this or that stupid new age treatment. I explain that driving makes it much worse and is 100% unhelpful and not worth it and she gets annoyed telling me 'you just won't help yourself' Which makes me want to punch her because she just has no bloody idea.

Anyway I didn't want to get into a rant, I just needed to share.... hope every body is having a lovely Christmas time <3

 

[glynis]

@GeorgiaRose1812 ,
I think it would be a good idea to make some quiet time together and explain you needed a serious chat about your tinnitus and how it effects you and makes you feel and what can cause a spike .
Maybe come on here together so she can see just what a world wide problem it is as Tinnitus Talk is world wide.
Talk about what help and support you need and you don't like loud sounds like the tv on loud.
After that give her a hug and try to enjoy some family time together as it's so precious.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas ...
Love glynis x

 

[Elfin]

And my mum is a new age type, and every time I try and explain that I need to be quiet or whatever or complain she goes on about how I won't do anything to help myself or do what she tells me (this is a whole long saga), she will not listen to what I KNOW is the case and keeps wanting to drive me to this or that stupid new age treatment. I explain that driving makes it much worse and is 100% unhelpful and not worth it and she gets annoyed telling me 'you just won't help yourself' Which makes me want to punch her because she just has no bloody idea.

my mum was just the same:

'you wont listen to me'
'you wont help yourself'
'you are your own worst enemy'
'snap out of it'
'learn to live with it'
'stop being so wet'
'everyone else just gets on and lives with it'
you'd never survive anything serious'

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

my mum was just the same:

'you wont listen to me'
'you wont help yourself'
'you are your own worst enemy'
'snap out of it'
'learn to live with it'
'stop being so wet'
'everyone else just gets on and lives with it'
you'd never survive anything serious'

So annoying right? I'm tempted to hide something that makes a constant noise in her handbag so she can experience it for a few days (I won't of course). I don't understand why people think they get to be in charge of how anyone else should deal with a problem and won't listen to the person actually dealing with it.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

@GeorgiaRose1812 ,
I think it would be a good idea to make some quiet time together and explain you needed a serious chat about your tinnitus and how it effects you and makes you feel and what can cause a spike .
Maybe come on here together so she can see just what a world wide problem it is as Tinnitus Talk is world wide.
Talk about what help and support you need and you don't like loud sounds like the tv on loud.
After that give her a hug and try to enjoy some family time together as it's so precious.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas ...
Love glynis x

I might give it a go, she's not normally very receptive to that sort of thing at all (her way is the only right way doesn't matter what I think about my own condition) but I suppose if I don't try then I can't blame her for not listening. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas too Glynis thank you for your response xx

 

[Bill Bauer]

Your setback/spike will most likely fade, eventually. However, that might not happen (or will take a lot longer before it happens) if you keep being exposed to noise. Surely it is not too late to cancel your birthday party and to tell your family that the gift you want from them is to keep quiet during your stay?

 

[Red]

For the train back, how about using some tips from threads that talk about riding airplanes? I don't think you should have to avoid talking to people but you should make it more clear to your family about how loud noise affects you. You need to have a serious talk with your mother. You are an adult now, no longer a child. But your mother is still treating you like one. Older people seem to think themselves wiser and smarter due to living longer. In my experience, often times younger people end up being smarter than you. Once a person passes about 21 or so, their age stops mattering to me. You need to demonstrate how much more you know about tinnitus than your mom does.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

Your setback/spike will most likely fade, eventually. However, that might not happen (or will take a lot longer before it happens) if you keep being exposed to noise. Surely it is not too late to cancel your birthday party and to tell your family that the gift you want from them is to keep quiet during your stay?

i just don't know what to do, I did have a talk with mum this evening and she was actually really good, agreeing to be as quiet as possible and everything but with my party (which isn't till Thursday) I don't know what to do. I've been out for a pint and had people over for drinks before since this started and had no ill effects that lasted beyond about an hour after the fact - I think it was the popping that made it worse this time mostly but I just don't know. To be honest I wouldn't be averse to cancelling it, but we've got people travelling from a while away to come to it (as it's my 21st) and it just wouldn't be right to cancel. If worst comes to worst I'll greet people and then leave them to it, I can spend the evening at my aunt's house if I need to.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

For the train back, how about using some tips from threads that talk about riding airplanes? I don't think you should have to avoid talking to people but you should make it more clear to your family about how loud noise affects you. You need to have a serious talk with your mother. You are an adult now, no longer a child. But your mother is still treating you like one. Older people seem to think themselves wiser and smarter due to living longer. In my experience, often times younger people end up being smarter than you. Once a person passes about 21 or so, their age stops mattering to me. You need to demonstrate how much more you know about tinnitus than your mom does.

I think I will look up some of those tips, I'll have to - not like I can avoid transport completely and walk 150 miles! My mum and I had quite a productive chat this evening so that's good but you're right, she does often assume she knows better than me simply because she's older but she doesn't know anything about this, she can't, because it's happening inside my head. Plus, I've done a hell of a lot of research so I do know about it.

 

[Bill Bauer]

If worst comes to worst I'll greet people and then leave them to it, I can spend the evening at my aunt's house if I need to.

I guess if there is no music and it is just the hum of people talking, you might be ok if you wear good earplugs. But I might be wrong.

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

I guess if there is no music and it is just the hum of people talking, you might be ok if you were good earplugs. But I might be wrong.

I'm not planning to have any music so that's my thinking as well, I think I'll be able to tell pretty fast if it's going to be too loud so if it is I'll just leave

 

[Bill Bauer]

I'm not planning to have any music so that's my thinking as well, I think I'll be able to tell pretty fast if it's going to be too loud so if it is I'll just leave

I just remembered the following posts:

It's been passed 3 month mark and I still have this annoying spike, the ear pain is gone but the spike remained.

Yes. I have Noise induced T. My spike was due to going out to a bar/day drinking/brewery/lots of alcohol. Since that day my T has been screaming.

No live loud music, just a restaurant and a lot of people in it.

To see those posts in their original thread, click on the "up arrow" besides "EatMoTacos said" above each quoted post.

 

[Red]

Depends on how many people is a lot and how big the area they talk in. This woman's family is probably not comparable to a packed bar...

...unless it is a massive family?

 

[Bill Bauer]

This woman's family is probably not comparable to a packed bar...

...unless it is a massive family?

She mentioned friends and/or family traveling from across the country to attend...

 

[GeorgiaRose1812]

@BillBauer my t is not noise induced so that may work in my favour, and yes there are a few people travelling but I don't have a big family so it won't be a huge number of people. Anyway, today is my birthday so I need to try and keep my mood up! Spike has gone down quite a bit as of now anyway. Hope everyone has a lovely day <3

 

[Bill Bauer]

Happy Birthday!

Let's hope that your T will be gone by this time next year.