Dubbyaman
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Living with Loud Tinnitus
- Thread starter dan
- Start date
MemberUnfortunately these days I have no low days. I cannot even tell if it is very loud, medium-loud or whatever.
It is just a head tone I can hear over each and everything because of the pitch.
It sounds like the old CRT TVs (the high frequency tone they made).
If on rare days I am lucky, it is less loud. Then it stays low the whole day.
It is always the night that switches loudness. The volume I have in the morning stays the same whole day.
I dont know how loud mine is in decibels but it is loud. I can easily hear it over TV. I can hear it over listening to music in the car whilst driving down the motorway in the rain with the wipers on. That's how I know it's loud but I have several high pitches like a live electric wire which seem to be unmaskable. White noise maskers do nothing for this. The best place to be is under a power shower. That masks best but cant stay in the shower all day. Have to go to the office and sit in the quiet next to my computer all day which has no chance of masking it.
Do I have a life? I find life exhausting. enjoyment can be a challenge. I pray God will keep me going for my family.
Do I have a life? I find life exhausting. enjoyment can be a challenge. I pray God will keep me going for my family.
My T is between 50 and 60 db. The pitch is low/medium, therefore, I can still mask it fairly easily but if I focus on it, even with masking, I still hear it.
I live a normal life 98% of the time.
I live a normal life 98% of the time.
@Martin69 i think my T is similar to yours. My T is a very high frequency electrical buzzing in the brain ...not in the ears. I wonder which is worse ... in the brain buzzing or in the ears. It feels very loud ... i can hear it over the TV or in the bus or subway. The shower masks it. I find living a normal life challenging. I want to learn how to live like @billie48 ...i keep reading his success story and i wonder can i get there. Its been five long months. I need help.
@Sgguy46
Yes, it is tough. T with ultra-high frequency is nearly unmaskable (only maybe by waterfalls).
I have better days (where my T is not that loud) and really bad days (yesterday for example it was so loud, it sounded like the dentist drill is directly in my head). I can hear the sound all the time, even in the shower sometimes.
Things I am currently trying and doing:
- Masking with cricket sounds (for fully masking I must set them very loud, which is unpleasant).
- Deep relaxation (for example those videos from TheHonestGuys seem useful; just started with it).
- Remeron 30 mg against depression
- In worst moments, a Tavor (benzo)
- Being outside as much as possible
- Mild exercise
- An online course against anxiety
- Living as normal as possible (however difficult this is).
- Reading success stories (yes, @billie48 is an inspiration)
- Praying that they will find a cure one day
At the end, we have too much to live for and we cannot let this thing beat us.
It is highly annoying and our reaction is really bad (anxiety, depression, panic).
Billie oftentimes says, we must give this time, a lot of tiiiiiiiiiiiime.
Stay strong.
Yes, it is tough. T with ultra-high frequency is nearly unmaskable (only maybe by waterfalls).
I have better days (where my T is not that loud) and really bad days (yesterday for example it was so loud, it sounded like the dentist drill is directly in my head). I can hear the sound all the time, even in the shower sometimes.
Things I am currently trying and doing:
- Masking with cricket sounds (for fully masking I must set them very loud, which is unpleasant).
- Deep relaxation (for example those videos from TheHonestGuys seem useful; just started with it).
- Remeron 30 mg against depression
- In worst moments, a Tavor (benzo)
- Being outside as much as possible
- Mild exercise
- An online course against anxiety
- Living as normal as possible (however difficult this is).
- Reading success stories (yes, @billie48 is an inspiration)
- Praying that they will find a cure one day
At the end, we have too much to live for and we cannot let this thing beat us.
It is highly annoying and our reaction is really bad (anxiety, depression, panic).
Billie oftentimes says, we must give this time, a lot of tiiiiiiiiiiiime.
Stay strong.
@Martin69 my T is also caused by stress and like you, it is not reactive. Sound variation does not make it better or worse. I also sometimes experience silence when i just wake up but within minutes, the T will return. I suspect that when i am asleep, i may have no T. Who knows. Oh yes, i am also a 69. I worked all my life only to get this. I am thinking of trying TRT.
- Aug 21, 2014
- 5,049
- Tinnitus Since
- 1999
- Cause of Tinnitus
- karma
I can easily hear my 14.5khz T tone over 60-70db broad-spectrum white noise, and while it bothers me a lot sometimes, I definitely still have a pretty normal life. I go to work, I go for hikes, I ride a motorcycle, I play video games, I work out... sounds pretty normal to me!
If anything, the systemic changes that T has caused me to make in my life, have overall made me a lot healthier. I don't drink or smoke pot very much anymore, I exercise a lot, I meditate every day, I sleep for the same 8-9 hour time block every night -- I wasn't doing any of that shit before my T got worse in 2010.
Whether "what I can hear clearly over 60-70db noise", and what you are calling "50db tinnitus", may not be the same thing at all. I do not pretend to have the loudest or most severe tinnitus of anyone here.
If anything, the systemic changes that T has caused me to make in my life, have overall made me a lot healthier. I don't drink or smoke pot very much anymore, I exercise a lot, I meditate every day, I sleep for the same 8-9 hour time block every night -- I wasn't doing any of that shit before my T got worse in 2010.
Whether "what I can hear clearly over 60-70db noise", and what you are calling "50db tinnitus", may not be the same thing at all. I do not pretend to have the loudest or most severe tinnitus of anyone here.
- Aug 21, 2014
- 5,049
- Tinnitus Since
- 1999
- Cause of Tinnitus
- karma
Lol, I don't know besides "years of practice"... and the realization that the more time I spend just doing things like tinnitus ain't no thang, the less it affects the way I think and feel.
Again, I can't say enough good things about meditation. I'm not nearly as diligent about it as I probably should be, but I make sure to get to it every day, even if only for a short period of time. I think that the ideal version of myself would find a way to sit for 15-30 minutes twice a day, but that can be pretty hard.
- Aug 21, 2014
- 5,049
- Tinnitus Since
- 1999
- Cause of Tinnitus
- karma
I didn't say it didn't affect my life -- that's not true. I don't know if I'll ever achieve that level of control. Some studies of very long-term meditators show cognitive changes that take 10-20 years to show up; perhaps if I am diligent, at some point I'll get there -- but I'm also confident that if I do live another 10,20,40 years, I'm going to have other shitty health problems that I don't have now.
It doesn't keep me from doing the things which are imporant to me, nearly as much as it did over the first few years.
I've had tinnitus to some extent since 1999. It's been worse for the past 5 years following a concert I attended with no hearing protection.
I also have some other serious health concerns, which is oddly "helpful" in that the tinnitus is just a background thing that I can't do much about, whereas some of the other stuff sort of demands constant coddling and attention.
Yes. Mine came also up by stress. I have no reactive T, also it is not affected by loud sound. It is simply the brain making noise (hyperactive neurons).
During the night, those parts of the brain shut down. At least this is my theory. Therefore, you do not hear T when sleeping. Also, sometimes after waking up, you hear no T. But the neurons then boot up and make the sound again. Also you automatically check for the sound.
I did TRT. Go to www.tinnitus.org. There, they explain T and do counselling (there is also an audio file somewhere). Another part is (partly) masking by noise generators or hearing aids (if you have hearing loss). TRT did not help me really, because my T is that high-pitched that white noise is much below my T. Listening to crickets is better since T is partly covered. TRT is a habituation protocol and of course it would be worth a try.
Our problem is the high frequency, because masking is difficult or not possible. So you have no much things to get partial relief. Of course it all depends on loudness. If it is not that loud, things are easier.
Research is on the right path. People, who were in the Autifony trial, reported (at least temporary) relief. Also the people taking Trobalt here report about relief. But it has bad side effects. And another drug, SF0034, is on its way. I assume that once things go into the right direction, there will happen even more. Unfortunately we got this too early. We have to wait. No cure yet.
BTW, I am only 46, but born in 1969.
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Thanks Martin. Yes, time is a very important and probably the most common element of success. Initially I had relentless anxiety and panic attacks by mere hearing my T, waking up with it blasting away with ultra high pitch and resonating in my whole head. At its worst pitch & level, I could hear it above jet noise in flights, above the roaring rapids of the wild salmon river I fish, above waves, crickets (perhaps cicadas with its continuous high pitch can help better), and yes waterfalls and continuous squeaky faucet sounds work the best). My T has so much intensely packed energy that it cuts through most sounds which have breaks in the high pitch, like waves or crickets. So what chance I had against this T initially? What about adding severe H and its suffering on top? No amount of will power or even positive messages or methods I learned from support forum could stop these attacks. With my prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder, my body stood no chance against these alien invaders of my body. T & H combined opened the flood gate of hell of relentless A & P attacks. It was not even just about T & H anymore.
So when you add all the horrible symptoms together, I was in a mess physically and mentally, not knowing if I could survive this long term and whether the big 'S' is the ultimate conclusion. I had to use meds to just survive each day, praying that they would work to give me at least a few years to get used to my ringing. At the worst, I was considering my body donated to my loved ones, treating it like a compost dead to the pain of so much suffering. I never thought I could have good life again in my life.
But never say never. Mother time plus learning to be more positive and learning some strategies (just like Martin is doing) have all helped to turn around in a few years. Everybody will have a different time frame for recovery. By that I don't mean you don't hear T anymore or that T has subsided. Mine hasn't subsided. I think it has increased. But nowadays, I go about living my life and the heck with T, and somehow miraculously, my brain has caught up and is agreeing with me. It is quite amazing that this same brain which used to cave in at the first sight of T can now face the scream for days without much masking and it won't react negatively as it did before. Somehow, with me telling it non-stop for years that T is livable and harmless (if annoying), the brain kind of buy in. Of course all the distractions of life (yes outdoor life is excellent one as well as hobbies) slowly shift the attention to other beautiful aspects of life than this boring sound.It takes patience and lots of TIME. God bless you all.
Thanks for reading my success story and hope that it can contribute to your recovery in some way. Please remember I have a lot more years living with T now. My present state of living a normal and happy life after having T is not alone at all. You read enough success stories you will know that many people do require the passage of time to get to that state. Your body needs that time to get used to this alien T sensation, and for it to accept the 'new normal'. You are still resisting this reality of T. That is quite understandable. Most people with high pitch T resist it and trying to shake it off with whatever methods. But it will take time and acceptance to get there. Honestly at 5 months, I was still swallowing my benzos, ADs, and sleeping pills. There is no super human ability in me.
I agree with other posters here that your symptoms are pointing to depression, something similar to postpartum depression. When the body has gone through a period of stress and trauma, it got flooded with too much emotion and tiredness, and sometimes it see no way out of the suffering, then it spins into depression, losing appetite, interest in things, and often wanting to stay home or sleep. You need to really deal with depression and only those trained professional can give you the help you need, whether through counselling (especially CBT oriented), or through carefully monitor of using ADs. You may want to contact Dr. Hubbard here in the Doctor's Corner as he specializes in CBT counselling related to T.
About helping your T, habituation can't be rushed or forced upon yourself. It will take time. There was a post made by Martin a while ago about how to habituate to loud T. There are many good advises there. I also contributed some idea at post # 17 of this thread.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/how-to-habituate-to-loud-ringing.4544/
As you see, it takes time. It takes acceptance (not necessarily accepting T, but the reality of life with T). It takes going out to relive your life despite T. It may be hard initially but when you keep at it, eventually you will overcome your fear for T and your depression will slowly lift. @meeruf has written a good post on how the habituation can happen too. I hope you can read his success story as he touched on some very potent approaches, such as separating the mind from you. Yes, you are not your mind. I used that approach too as I had severe depression too. Your mind is depressed and is suggesting many distorted thoughts to you now. You need to step out of that mind as a watcher of the mind. Echart Tolle used this powerful concept to heal his own suicidal depression and he wrote the famous 'The Power of Now'. So follow this thread which I also added in some point. Take care & God bless.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-for-5-months-will-it-go-away.10992/#post-135237
- Jun 26, 2014
- 2,264
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2013
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Drugs barotrauma
Hey Martin, I find the noise inside my ears to be more bothersome than the head, my ears are in agony from the sound, they f--king hurt, also they feel plugged up. The T gets loud in my ears and my H seems to get worse, even a voice is like taking a beating at times. The head noise is bad too but just not like the ear crap, I feel like digging in my ears or sticking ice inside them for some sort of relief, it's awful, and it's never ending it seems. I get the odd time where the sound is just in my brain but 99 percent of the time it won't stay out of my ears. The loud beeeeeeeee sound is in my brain, the scratching and squealing is in my ears. Life long torture test this is.
Also the brain ringing feels more centered and constant, the ears noises jump back and forth zinging from ear to ear, it's honestly tests my sanity every day.
Hey Telis.
Yes, what you have is even another level. A lot of suffering.
In my case I am 100% sure it is "only" my brain making the noise.
Taking a benzo will bring it down. I guess that also AUT00063, SF0034 or Trobalt can bring it down.
And I think that in most cases it is the brain making the noise, also for you. Of course we all hear it in the ears.
Do you think that you have some kind of ear issue since they hurt? Or is it all the stress the noises make to your ears?
Because if the theory is correct that it is all the brain making this, finding the right med will calm down this and the sounds will lower or disappear. It would then doesn't matter what you hear.
I also believe that all the stress and anxiety we have from this BS keeps the T running in high volume.
Stay strong my friend. I always hold you in high reward.
Martin
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