Looking for Help for My Mom!

[Sarah777]

Hey all

I joined this forum because I'm desperately looking for help for my mother.

She has had numerous medical issues in her life we've worked through but over the past few months she has developed bad tinnitus. It has completely destroyed her and consumed our lives.

It has been quite the experience for my family and has escalated from simple doctors visits and trying different medications, to going to the hospital and the doctors committing her, to now calling the cable company bc she thinks the wifi is messing up her brain.

I'm 35 years old, I know my moms not crazy but I feel like she's driving herself crazy trying to figure her tinnitus out. I don't blame her, I'd do the same thing. I'm super sympathetic and would do anything in the world to help my mother. At the same time my father and I are also exhausted, defeated, sleepless trying to figure out not only how she will survive this but how we will survive this as well.

Her anxiety, irritability, and irrationality is beating us down when all we want to do is help but we don't know how?!?!

Please please please any advice is greatly appreciated

 

[MariaH]

Hi Sarah,
I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering. About 5 years ago I was going through the exact same thing as your mum. I got water in my ear, took antibiotics, which made my tinnitus so bad that I could no longer sleep. My doctor then prescribed antidepressants to reduce anxiety and promote sleep, which sent my tinnitus through the roof.
It was so bad that I could no longer work. I was just at home panicking and sobbing the whole day. I read everything and anything I could find on the internet related to tinnitus. I tried several different diets, supplements and therapies... and it was all I spoke about. Of course this also took its toll on my partner and my parents. But at the time, I was so desperate, scared... and just lived in my own little world.
It's so hard to explain what its like to be stuck in that circle of fear and anxiety. What makes it harder is that its invisible... its all in your head (or ears?!) and there is no cure. It all makes it hard to deal with.
It's incredibly kind and special that you and your dad are helping your mom get through this. The fact that you're writing on this forum to ask for advice on how to best help your mom says it all! Maybe you could encourage your mum to read the success stories on this forum: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/forums/success-stories.47/? Or to share her own story here?
Do you have any idea what could have triggered your mum's tinnitus? Did she start taking (a new type of) medication? Or could it be related to another medical issue? Has she been exposed to loud noise?
Can I ask what type of sounds she hears? Do the sounds fluctuate or are they constant?
From what I understand your mum has only had tinnitus for a few months. This is quite recent in the 'tinnitus world'. I truly believe that things will improve for her. They usually do! It just takes time, a LOT of time. But she will get there! Maybe she can find comfort in being in touch with people who have gone through the same thing.
Wishing you much strength and courage.
Maria

 

[another sean]

I suggest your mom post here in the Support section herself and describe her T and how it came about and the changes its made over the last few months. Getting input from people know understand exactly what she is going thru will help her a lot. But it sounds like she got it thru stress or medication. There is a chance it can go away on its own within the first year. In some cases, even longer. And at the very least, she will get used to it "Habituate" and it won't stress her out nearly as much as it is now. Its always the worst in the beginning, then her brain will change on its own and not care as much. She probably wont believe it, but it happens all the time. And she needs to start paying attention to what is making it worse. Called a spike. Usually certain sounds will do it or certain foods. So have her pay attention to that. Simple things like salt and caffeine can make it skyrocket. The sooner she understands her particular T, the better she will feel. We need the details only she can describe.

 

[GregCA]

It has been quite the experience for my family and has escalated from simple doctors visits and trying different medications, to going to the hospital and the doctors committing her, to now calling the cable company bc she thinks the wifi is messing up her brain.

What steps in the her medical diagnosis has she gone through?
For reference, and as a help to work with her doctors, here's a diagnostic flowchart: https://www.tinnitusresearch.net/index.php/for-clinicians/diagnostic-flowchart

It is very important to try and find the root causes, because that's the only way to devise a plan of action that can be effective. Of course, finding the root cause isn't always successful, unfortunately.

 

[glynis]

@Sarah777,
A warm welcome to Tinnitus Talk and thank you for coming to us for support for your mum and your family.

Tinnitus invades your ears,brain and comes with unwanted emotions like anxiety and depression,sleep loss,poor concentration, panic and stress and it's mental torture for many.

ENT can do tests,MRI,hearing tests and then it's down to finding what helps you cope better.
Hearind aids,natural sounds,relaxing music,counselling, White noise generators ,support, help with sleep and help with medication.

Tinnitus can be in one ear or both and head.
You can have one sound or a few and can change sound and strenght for no reason and sometimes for a reason and it can push you to your limits and hard for people to understand just what a battle each day is with mental torture.
Enough of the doom and gloom from me .

We are here around the clock to support you and your family and nice come on here together to understand your mum is not going mad and we all know how it can break you but over time life starts to get better as you understand tinnitus and how yours behaves .

Protecting ears around loud sounds and loud music is a must from now on when around sounds above 80db and lower for some people.

keep reaching out to us and we will do all we can to get your mum through this.

love glynis

 

[MBH]

Hello,. I joined here and I'm in my early 50s, I received knowledge and support from this site. The shock of all of it is beyond me and it takes awhile to get over it. Dealt with the anxiety first, sleep next, and the rest of the noise later. This idea worked for me.

 

[John CC]

Hey all

I joined this forum because I'm desperately looking for help for my mother.

Hi Sarah Everyone knows what you are going through, and you are not alone, you have support at this site. There are others who regularly read, support and answer your questions. Just realize that this site is a world wide site, so if people do not respond right away, it is because they may be on another continent. So when you look for responses and your waiting, give it some time.

As I suspect, you have already been reading the post in the Introduce Yourself and Support sections. You might also want to read the Success Stories section and realize it can give you, and your mom some hope. These section may help you gain some insight to the various issues and aspects of tinnitus. I suggest you get her to start to read some of them and encourage her to realize these stories could be her future.

I am only two months in, but in that time I have learned a number of 'good to knows' for you to share with your family. From what I have started to learn is that loud noise = bad (so at the start listen to your music at a lower volume and movies can be loud so be wary and keep the volume down), head phones = bad, ear protection = good (ear plugs or ear muffs or a combination of), being aware and not letting your guard down, e.g., going into a loud restaurant or coffee shop without ear protection and thinking it will be ok = not good, realizing and having and believing in your future and hope = good.

When you go to bed have some music playing in the background, just below your T to help you sleep, that means you van hear it but it does not drown our your t.. It has helped me tremendously, and I know a number of other people on this forum also have it playing at night. I have found on the internet Tinnitus Sound Therapy music. I listened to different music, some spoke to me, some didn't. I have it on during the day, and at night I take my laptop into my bedroom and play it overnight (some of the sites go for 8 to 10 hours). If you look on the tinnitus talk forum home page, about half way down to the right you will see a bar titled Audio Player. You can click on it to get an idea about the different sounds used in tinnitus sound therapy, or you can play this during the night as it continuously loops.

It is important, and much easier to say than do, to learn to focus your attention from the screaming in your ear. One approach of many could be to shift your focus. It is amazing how it begins to disappear when your attention is elsewhere. Yes, it is easy to say, not always easy to do, but with some practise and focus you can do it. I would recommend you see your doctor and perhaps an audiologist. Tinnitus unforunately has no cure, and the first couple of months are important, so by seeing them they may be able to provide you with information specifically about your situation.

At the start, and for the first couple of months, for some the t. is fairly consistent, while for others it can fluctuate a little or a lot. From what I am learning is that it may stay at one volume at the start (for a month or 2) and then it may fluctuate, or it my also fluctuate at the start as well, both can be considered frustrating, but neither are unusual. From what I have learned in a number of cases it does get better, but that is where others can share their greater wisdon on this. This condition appears to be as unique as are finger prints and while people may have similiar stories, there are unique qualities to each individual. My t. has fluctuated over the past 2 months, sometimes it is very loud and other times I can't hear it (the not hear it times are sadly far between). If your symptons don't fit into other peoples descriptions, it is just the nature of the beast. As I said I am new myself so I focus on the importance of support and hope at this important entry time to the world of T. as I call it. Coffee Girl, Bill B., Fishbone, Micheal L., Glnyis, Greg among others who have a lot of good ideas, and more experience than I do.

Best of luck and I hope this helps you and your mother and father deal with the world of t., a world no one wants to enter but enter it we have. Remember the start is the hardest and most challenging, but from what I have read there is room for optimism, so please share this with your family.
John CC