Made Tinnitus Worse in My Head

[Ally Ev]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my English in advance.

A few weeks ago i woke up with a very low volume hissing sound in my right ear and my life has not been the same since than.

I'm sure that the sound disappeared later that day but since i heard it i have been focusing on every single sound that i hear. I think everyone has a very quiet ringing sound (blood flow?) that is normal and which i probably had before but never payed attention to. I have amplified this sound in my head (it also goes away a lot and comes back when i focus on it) ever since I focused on it and now I'm having horrible nights of sleep. I can only sleep with rain sounds or white noise.

Also in our house is a low hissing sound which i don't always hear, i do think it is the sound of all the electrical devices and so on but as i'm focusing so much on it now it's all i can hear.

So I'm wondering if it is possible to create your own tinnitus? I'm completely driving myself crazy. I do actually think i don't have real tinnitus but just made this all up in my head. I have gone into a horrible depression now too and I'm considering to go on meds..

I do pray for everyone here in Jesus name that there will be a cure for T soon as this is definitely torture, I have been reading a lot of horror stories on here and it has made this whole thing even worse for me.

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[Mettafort]

Hey Ally,

Step 1 - avoid the horror stories
Step 2 - attend to the success stories.
Step 3 - attend to your focus.
Step 4 - do whatever you must to get restful sleep.

I cannot comment on the creation of ones own tinnitus, other than to say it is self-created by definition as far as I understand it. Though I think you might be meaning can it be self-made in the mind due to a fear of it? If anything, if you made it up, consciously or otherwise, and it isnt real, I am jealous!

"Im completely driving myself crazy." - dont do that. That is true though, its not that you are automatically going crazy, you are doing it to yourself. I mean that respectfully. What are you focusing on that is driving you crazy?

What is going on in your life that might have brought this distraction on? What are you focusing on when you are feeling depressed? Worry....anxiety.....fear....One thing I think is more universal than might be stated, is that ones own mind can make the T worse. Regardless of the origination of the T, or even its causes of it is physiological at the time, the perception of the T has its own dimension too. That piece we do have control over if we want to take it.

That said, if you just made it up, I wonder why. But you also say you woke up with it one morning. Could it be that you have been trying to back-track to find the source and now you are unsure?

Assuming your T is real for now, what strategies are you employing to deal with it? You mention sleeping with rain and white noise sounds, but are still having horrible nights sleep. What else can you do, are you doing to get the best rest you can? Sleep is a key input into being able to avoid slipping into depression. What else are you doing to cope during the day?

It seems we all here have been through these personal, but similar challenges.

 

[Ally Ev]

Hi Metafort, thank you so much for your response. I have given birth 10 weeks ago so i'm thinking it has something to do with that . I'm driving myself crazy because i have been reading too many horror stories I keep focusing on it and thinking i'm going to end up with loud T, which is causing alot of anxiety and it's going in the direction of a depression.

Also caring for a newborn baby while having this is making life extremly hard. Sorry for not being very clear. I am able to sleep with noise but it is'nt very relaxing sleep, i'm extremly tense during sleep and i wake up with neck pain. Also as soon as i wake up i focus on all the sounds again and it will take longer to fall back asleep.

Yes i did wake up with some weird noise (very low) one morning but the sound dissapeared later, it did cause me to become extremly anxious and focus on every single sound around me. I have to focus to hear something, I don't hear anything when i live my daily life. I also have been trying to find a source just to be sure and i have had a jaw surgery a long time ago and i grind my teeth so if i do have T i think it is caused by this.

I have just read your story. I'm so sorry you are going through this! wishing you alot of strenght! i will pray for you!

 

[Mettafort]

Hey Ally!!!

Wow, that is amazing news - congratulations first, on having a baby! Your hormones must be all over the place right now, as well as going through a major life event. Having seen my wife go through these early stages with a newborn, the demands, the changes in ones life, and the lack of sleep (even before tinnitus), I can understand how those factors and the hormones might then affect your mind and have you focusing on some of the horror.

I do know jaw issues and teeth grinding can be a cause, but I am not an expert. I used to grind my teeth long ago, and it was often due to psychology - life events, stress at work, stress at home.

You are very much in the epicenter of your femininity, a new mother, with all of the expectations and obligations that come with that. If this is your first, then I am sure there its a shock on some level, conscious or otherwise.

I did the same too - I read horror story after horror story, and like an anvil they took me down and I did get depressed. I was kinda lost in my own tornado. As soon as I realized it though, I looked at my wife, I looked at my daughters, and I decided then and there, no more horror stories, no more second-guessing and fortune telling about the future. I decided then and there to welcome my T and H into my life, but commit to letting it go too, so that I can be the father and husband I want to be. If you can anchor yourself on your new life stage and the fact you have a newborn now that depends on you, you can get leverage on yourself to keep yourself grounded in the present.

Your body will be all over the place - if you were going to think about the future, think about a future absent of T; thats just as possible, if not more so given your current life conditions.

And again, congratulations!

Thanks for the kind words too; appreciated.

mf