Mild Tinnitus with Crippling Fear of It Getting Worse

[Suzerman]

Hello everyone, I have been lurking on this forum for about 2 months since my tinnitus started, and have learned a lot about the condition from everything I've read here, and feel like Ive tried to take the proper precautions from it getting worse as well as I can. The sound I hear is a slight hissing/electric static noise, that I can only hear if I focus on it, plug my ears, or stand in a quiet room. You could also say silence just sounds like that in general maybe, except for when it gets really noticeable loud all of a sudden. It is bothersome when I sleep however, pressing my left ear against the pillow makes it super loud, but I have noticed that if I calm down and force myself to listen to it.. it becomes just a sound to me and I can eventually fall asleep, which is also a tip i've read on this forum. Does not always work though, mind you

I have also been to the doctor, who has seen that my ear drums are inverted, which makes me think that I should refrain from freaking out until at least this problem is resolved. He prescribed me a saline nasal spray which I have used for weeks, but nothing much changed. Since then I've been on a flight to Milan which has caused me barotrauma of some sort and my ears were extremely inverted over the course of a week. They still are a month later, and I hear the constant crackle of the eustachian tube along with some kind of muscle fluttering spasm within my ear sometimes. The doctor prescribed me a stronger nasal spray, and Im also steaming every day, but the eustachian tubes just wont budge. I also have some TMJ going on, jaw was suddenly locked due to all the excessive yawning I've done, and I immediately went to a dentist who gave me a splint, which I will wear today for the first time. I' m hoping that I can prevent it from getting worse this way. I have also gotten rid of the headphones, but the only thing I cannot control is the environment I work at (a work shop with loud mechanics). I try to plug my ears whenever the loud sounds come on though, and walk away as often as I can, as I fear earplugs will not do my ears any good in the long run.

I could get used to it if this sound was all it was. But it just fluctuates so damn much. I have been getting these episodes of fleeting tinnitus almost every week now, and they are freaking me the fuck out. I have always been a hypochondriac and tinnitus has been one of those things I've been terrified of and hoped to god I would never have to deal with, well oops I guess haha. Ever since having the hissing, I am just petrified of it transforming into a high pitched tone, or any other terrible sound imagineable. I feel on edge every day, I do not even feel comfortable just being alive in my own body because I feel anything I do could trigger the demon tinnitus sound to just appear. The worst thing about this is also that these fleeting tinnitus episodes keep happening WHEN IM FINALLY RELAXING! And mind you, always when Im alone, freaking always! Seriously its such a malicious thing.

Anyway Im just trying to find some people who went through the same thing and who maybe have some supportive words in regards to tinnitus related anxiety, and experiences with frequent fleeting tinnitus episodes. Or who have maybe had the same symptoms I've had and how you have dealt with it. Anything really.

 

[billie48]

The doctor prescribed me a stronger nasal spray, and Im also steaming every day, but the eustachian tubes just wont budge.

Welcome to the forum. I am no doctor and don't know much about how the Eustachian Tube works. But if it has blockage and won't drain, I have a read a success story telling that using a certain exercise technique from a doctor on youtube has finally done miracle on her ears and the ringing subsided after that. Perhaps give this technique a try. It never hurts to try:

Anyway Im just trying to find some people who went through the same thing and who maybe have some supportive words in regards to tinnitus related anxiety, and experiences with frequent fleeting tinnitus episodes.

If you don't find anyone responding to your questions, such as on fleeting tinnitus and how to habituate to it, you may want to post on the main support forum as it has more readership and more people with that symptom can respond to you. At worse you can search TT with 'fleeting tinnitus' and you should find many prior discussions. Good luck and take care. God bless.

 

[fishbone]

Just do know that fear/stress/anxiety can make tinnitus worst. All those emotions, just ramps up your system. Your tinnitus is fairly new, so it takes time to adjust. Protect your ears, but don't obsess over it. It's very hard not to do, but don't try to listen to your tinnitus. Constant attention to it, just makes you feel worst.

Be well

 

[Suzerman]

Thank you guys! I have to say I am trying to stop listening for it, because it makes me focus on it more, but at the same time I feel like avoiding the noise all day doesn't help either in relation to my anxiety towards it. It ramps up the anxiety towards bedtime. I think it has to do with feeling ' unprepared' as to how it will sound around bed time. The sounds itself is quite mild, I can barely hear it during the day unless I focus on it. The only time where it gets loud is when I go to sleep. Fortunately I have been able to fall asleep quickly the past week. Getting lots of sleep really helps.

The sound itself is actually not the problem, it is my anxiety revolving around it getting worse. Because of the fleeting tinnitus attacks, I feel as if its just a matter of time until my mild friendly tinnitus changes into a high pitched screeching demon. I do feel like im taking all the precautions I can. I already got my splint for the TMJ (so hopefully I prevented TMJ from making it worse) I am also seeing a jaw therapist to help with my neck, jaw, TMJ etc. I am also protecting my ears from noise as well as I can, and I am using a heavy nasal spray and try to clear up my eustachian tubes as well as I can. I hope with this I can prevent it from getting worse or getting full blown tinnitus. But Ive read so many stories on here from people who get tinnitus for absolutely no direct reason, and that stuff scares me soooo much. I am terrified of being one of those people who just gets it for no reason. I have also done an online hearing test, which showed me my hearing was normal, so there's also not really a reason to assume I have bad hearing.

 

[fishbone]

Thank you guys! I have to say I am trying to stop listening for it, because it makes me focus on it more, but at the same time I feel like avoiding the noise all day doesn't help either in relation to my anxiety towards it. It ramps up the anxiety towards bedtime. I think it has to do with feeling ' unprepared' as to how it will sound around bed time. The sounds itself is quite mild, I can barely hear it during the day unless I focus on it. The only time where it gets loud is when I go to sleep. Fortunately I have been able to fall asleep quickly the past week. Getting lots of sleep really helps.

The sound itself is actually not the problem, it is my anxiety revolving around it getting worse. Because of the fleeting tinnitus attacks, I feel as if its just a matter of time until my mild friendly tinnitus changes into a high pitched screeching demon. I do feel like im taking all the precautions I can. I already got my splint for the TMJ (so hopefully I prevented TMJ from making it worse) I am also seeing a jaw therapist to help with my neck, jaw, TMJ etc. I am also protecting my ears from noise as well as I can, and I am using a heavy nasal spray and try to clear up my eustachian tubes as well as I can. I hope with this I can prevent it from getting worse or getting full blown tinnitus. But Ive read so many stories on here from people who get tinnitus for absolutely no direct reason, and that stuff scares me soooo much. I am terrified of being one of those people who just gets it for no reason. I have also done an online hearing test, which showed me my hearing was normal, so there's also not really a reason to assume I have bad hearing.

Look, I'll be 100% honest with you. Your tinnitus is VERY new and you are very fragile right now. It's ok, you are doing great. It took me 1-2 years to feel normal and I had hyperacusis for close to 4 years. I 100% know how you feel and it gives me flashbacks, to the old me as well. Don't worry about the future, because that just ramps up your nerves and makes you a mess. Do your best TODAY and let tomorrow be tomorrow. Even if we are perfect...something can happen to ramp up your anxiety and tinnitus. Don't be on the lookout for every possible thing, that can make your tinnitus louder.

By constantly looking for it and monitoring it, it simply does no good. Be calm and live your life. Use precautions, but LIVE your life and be strong. You have 1 life to live and tinnitus should NOT stop that. Tinnitus usually does not come for no reasons. Something changes and causes the tinnitus to come. I been at this 30 years and had doors slam in my face, tables with glass break, been in car accidents with car air bags popping..everything. Things happen and at times may give us a tinnitus spike or maybe make it worst.

I don't think daily about possible noises that, can make my tinnitus worst. That does me no good, I use common sense and just do the best that I can do

Wish you lots of luck and be well...

 

[billie48]

With regards to anxiety and fear for the future, Fishbone is so right. I agree 100% and I have often said that we need to live for the 'NOW' moment and enjoy it or make it the best moment. That is the only moment in time that we can do something about to make a good or best moment. Instead of worrying about the future which is not a reality or the past which is history already, why not just live and enjoy the moment. Ask yourself, 'at this present moment, am I in mortal danger?'. If the answer is no, then try to make it the best moment. Try to go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine, fresh air, meet up with a friend or call one, plan a trip, or try to enjoy wherever you are. If we can change each 'NOW' moment to a positive one, then the cumulative effects of these will lead to a much more enjoyable, relax and peaceful moment.

Don't let the chaotic mind do the negative dance with you all day and get you paranoid about things. 'YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND' is now a new trend of mental/spiritual approach to battle against anxiety ailments. Just google search with that phrase and you will see a long list of articles by individuals and organizations, even those health organizations like 'Psychology Today', like this one:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/use-your-mind-change-your-brain/201106/you-are-not-your-brain

Try to learn more about mindfulness and/or CBT approaches. They will teach you how to deal with anxiety better. It seems that your issue now is more about GAD (general anxiety disorder) than the mild tinnitus, and so it never hurts to explore and be educated about these potent weapons against anxiety disorder. Also consider to use some mild natural supplements for anxiety, such as lemon balm, hops, valerian, passion flower, chamomile etc. You can search these on Amazon.com and read the reviews to see if you can use them. Take care. God bless.

 

[fishbone]

With regards to anxiety and fear for the future, Fishbone is so right. I agree 100% and I have often said that we need to live for the 'NOW' moment and enjoy it or make it the best moment. That is the only moment in time that we can do something about to make a good or best moment. Instead of worrying about the future which is not a reality or the past which is history already, why not just live and enjoy the moment. Ask yourself, 'at this present moment, am I in mortal danger?'. If the answer is no, then try to make it the best moment. Try to go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine, fresh air, meet up with a friend or call one, plan a trip, or try to enjoy wherever you are. If we can change each 'NOW' moment to a positive one, then the cumulative effects of these will lead to a much more enjoyable, relax and peaceful moment.

Don't let the chaotic mind do the negative dance with you all day and get you paranoid about things. 'YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND' is now a new trend of mental/spiritual approach to battle against anxiety ailments. Just google search with that phrase and you will see a long list of articles by individuals and organizations, even those health organizations like 'Psychology Today', like this one:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/use-your-mind-change-your-brain/201106/you-are-not-your-brain

Try to learn more about mindfulness and/or CBT approaches. They will teach you how to deal with anxiety better. It seems that your issue now is more about GAD (general anxiety disorder) than the mild tinnitus, and so it never hurts to explore and be educated about these potent weapons against anxiety disorder. Also consider to use some mild natural supplements for anxiety, such as lemon balm, hops, valerian, passion flower, chamomile etc. You can search these on Amazon.com and read the reviews to see if you can use them. Take care. God bless.

Beautiful! Couldn't have said it any better, myself

 

[Suzerman]

Look, I'll be 100% honest with you. Your tinnitus is VERY new and you are very fragile right now. It's ok, you are doing great. It took me 1-2 years to feel normal and I had hyperacusis for close to 4 years. I 100% know how you feel and it gives me flashbacks, to the old me as well. Don't worry about the future, because that just ramps up your nerves and makes you a mess. Do your best TODAY and let tomorrow be tomorrow. Even if we are perfect...something can happen to ramp up your anxiety and tinnitus. Don't be on the lookout for every possible thing, that can make your tinnitus louder.

By constantly looking for it and monitoring it, it simply does no good. Be calm and live your life. Use precautions, but LIVE your life and be strong. You have 1 life to live and tinnitus should NOT stop that. Tinnitus usually does not come for no reasons. Something changes and causes the tinnitus to come. I been at this 30 years and had doors slam in my face, tables with glass break, been in car accidents with car air bags popping..everything. Things happen and at times may give us a tinnitus spike or maybe make it worst.

I don't think daily about possible noises that, can make my tinnitus worst. That does me no good, I use common sense and just do the best that I can do

Wish you lots of luck and be well...

Thank you for this message. I agree with you. I do try to tell myself that every day I wake up with mild tinnitus is a day given to me to enjoy to the fullest. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Lets say I do get full blown screeching from hell tinnitus at some point in the future..wouldnt I then have wished that I enjoyed those days where I didnt? This morning it sounded almost like it was completely gone. I just enjoyed the moment and basked in the silence as long as it lasted. I try to keep calm, and yesterday was one of the first days where I just sat at home and genuinely relaxed without feeling a need to have people around constantly, it was a nice feeling. The anxiety was slightly higher when I went to bed, but managed to fall asleep fast enough. I try to monitor it less, but its hard because its quite a compulsive habit in a way.

 

[fishbone]

Thank you for this message. I agree with you. I do try to tell myself that every day I wake up with mild tinnitus is a day given to me to enjoy to the fullest. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Lets say I do get full blown screeching from hell tinnitus at some point in the future..wouldnt I then have wished that I enjoyed those days where I didnt? This morning it sounded almost like it was completely gone. I just enjoyed the moment and basked in the silence as long as it lasted. I try to keep calm, and yesterday was one of the first days where I just sat at home and genuinely relaxed without feeling a need to have people around constantly, it was a nice feeling. The anxiety was slightly higher when I went to bed, but managed to fall asleep fast enough. I try to monitor it less, but its hard because its quite a compulsive habit in a way.

Always count your blessings It could be much worst.

 

[Suzerman]

With regards to anxiety and fear for the future, Fishbone is so right. I agree 100% and I have often said that we need to live for the 'NOW' moment and enjoy it or make it the best moment. That is the only moment in time that we can do something about to make a good or best moment. Instead of worrying about the future which is not a reality or the past which is history already, why not just live and enjoy the moment. Ask yourself, 'at this present moment, am I in mortal danger?'. If the answer is no, then try to make it the best moment. Try to go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine, fresh air, meet up with a friend or call one, plan a trip, or try to enjoy wherever you are. If we can change each 'NOW' moment to a positive one, then the cumulative effects of these will lead to a much more enjoyable, relax and peaceful moment.

Don't let the chaotic mind do the negative dance with you all day and get you paranoid about things. 'YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND' is now a new trend of mental/spiritual approach to battle against anxiety ailments. Just google search with that phrase and you will see a long list of articles by individuals and organizations, even those health organizations like 'Psychology Today', like this one:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/use-your-mind-change-your-brain/201106/you-are-not-your-brain

Try to learn more about mindfulness and/or CBT approaches. They will teach you how to deal with anxiety better. It seems that your issue now is more about GAD (general anxiety disorder) than the mild tinnitus, and so it never hurts to explore and be educated about these potent weapons against anxiety disorder. Also consider to use some mild natural supplements for anxiety, such as lemon balm, hops, valerian, passion flower, chamomile etc. You can search these on Amazon.com and read the reviews to see if you can use them. Take care. God bless.

I fully agree with you! I know thats what I should do, and I know im getting to that point, it will just take a lot of time. I do feel that the fleeting tinnitus attacks are the ones setting me back on my mental recovery. Slowly I feel like im getting my life back, but I have been through quite a share of mental breakdowns, crying, panic attacks you name it. Not for the sounds itself, but the fear of it increasing and getting worse. I just dont know if Im strong enough to deal with that. I am also suffering from a very bad case of eye floaters, which has also taken me yeaaaars to get past, but hey im still here. Thank you for all your advice, I really hope my tinnitus clears up once my eustachian tube does, but for my mental sanity I'll stop monitoring it and stop focusing on it, and just give in to it and accept it. Im trying to keep myself busy as well. Seeing friends, family etc. but I do feel a strong need to be on my own and just relax (quite a hermit/ introverted person), ahd thats what tinnitus has ruined the most, but yesterday gave me hope that I can eventually learn to relax on my own in silence again.

I do already take a few supplements. The supplements Im taking so far are pycnogenol, curcumin, B12, vitamin D and im eating peanutbutter again to increase my magnesium intake. I dropped the yoghurt because of excessive pleghm production which seems to keep clogging my eustachian tubes.

 

[ZZZK]

I've had Tinnitus for 16 years and it has not gotten any worse. Certain medications and supplements can make it go up and down a bit but the baseline has always been the same for me. Protect your ears in loud environments to minimize future hearing damage and live your life as said above. Stop focusing on it! Our busy busy catastrophizing minds are all our own worst enemies when it comes to dealing with T. The cure for T is indifference to the condition which requires some mental effort and practice to attain.

 

[ZZZK]

I've had Tinnitus for 16 years and it has not gotten any worse. Certain medications and supplements can make it go up and down a bit but the baseline has always been the same for me. Protect your ears in loud environments to minimize future hearing damage and live your life as said above. Stop focusing on it! Our busy busy catastrophizing minds are all our own worst enemies when it comes to dealing with T. The cure for T is indifference to the condition which requires some mental effort and practice to attain.

 

[anusha]

@Suzerman The way u feel is exactly how I feel. It's been 2 weeks I have tinnitus. I am trying not to focus it on day time but when it's bedtime I am getting really scared. Especially when I close my eyes I feel the noise is coming closer and louder. I am turning on the fan on and youtube ocean waves music but the fear of tinnitus staying forever or longer is making me cry so badly. Somedays i say myself I am stronger than my challenges. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. All the positive quotes but u know you can't keep bringing all the strength and energy every day. Somedays you just want to sleep without annoying sound and without you trying to ignore the noises but that's hard.It takes patience and energy and willpower to ignore the noise and sleep. The sound intensity did reduce from 1st week to 2nd week. But sometimes its like soft hissing noise sometimes its loud. Esp when I close eyes and in silence. I feel like I am all alone in this and facing this. I just wish I can turn the off button to this but i know I can't. I am praying more for relief. I used to love sleep and now sleeping is becoming a scary thing. I hope mine goes away as my ear drum perofration closes and hearing loss is gained back completely. My hearing is improved in 2weeks. Doctor told I should get back in 3weeks. I keep saying myself that in 3weeks I will be fine. This is temporary. It's terrible during bedtime makes me cry and sob. I call up all my closed ones I know I shouldn't disturb others but I feel like I can't handle this alone.

 

[Carlyi]

The way i got tinnitus is identical to yours. I have constant crackling and popping and mine comes from TMJ. It started 9 months ago in a low hiss that would come and go unfortunatly it's now always there, sometimes very soft, sometimes loud. I agree that it is so hard that the tinnitus fluctuates so much, but it is also a good sign (so i've heard) My TMJ is very bad, altough it is very slowly getting better. I also went to the ENT and he also told me that my ear drums are slightly inverted. I think TMJ can mess with your tubes and that's why people with TMJ often experience the popping and crackling sounds. I am confident that once the TMJ is fixed that the T. will go. In my case it will take a while, but i'm seeing progress. Best of luck to you!

 

[Seawater7]

I have had hypochondriac feelings about tinnitus too, i am starting to realize that worrying only makes things worse ( now don't worry about that) but if there is any kind of control over this situation we are all in i think its in our reaction and attitude.

Maybe helpful to think that its unlikely to make it worse as long as you are not doing anything extreme with noise and stress from work or anything.

For me some of the worriness went with deeply trusting these words.

"Your mind can still become still"

Because there was a belief before that i could never feel at peace or calm again, and then all it takes is to prove to yourself even one time that you can, and then keep practicing, because it is possible to be at peace still.

 

[Racehorse]

@Suzerman when I say I know exactly how you feel, I'm not exaggerating!! As I type this I'm feeling anxious because my t is keeping me up. I try not to worry about the future and be grateful for what I have. That always helps me deal with the anxiety. I've had t for about 2.5 years, and it has stayed the same for the most part ( fluctuates between very mild and mild) For just about all the last 2.5 years it was very mild, but recent it spiked up a bit- I hear it in places where I never was able. I pray it goes back to baseline. Also, remember, a little Valium goes a long way

 

[John Sky]

We are all afraid of worsening symptoms. You are not alone.

 

[Laurence67]

Thanks for your post. I'm a week in and feeling identical. I realize the post is a little old now but if you're still around how are things going?

 

[Suzerman]

Thanks for your post. I'm a week in and feeling identical. I realize the post is a little old now but if you're still around how are things going?

Im doing a lot better mentally luckily (knock on wood) since I wrote this post. The tinnitus is actually either the same or a little bit louder I think, but it just varies so much throughout the day that I somehow learned to not worry too much about it. It seems to be louder in the mornings and then quiet down a lot in the evenings. Some days I can barely hear it, other days I get a bit anxious about how loud it can actually be. But I've decided to just be thankful for every day with mild tinnitus and every time a fleeting tinnitus attack goes away, and just hope I stick it out until there's at least something of a treatment out there.

Identifying the probable reason of my tinnitus has also helped tremendously. I have noticed I can influence my tinnitus so much by posture, massage and everything that helps me relax my muscles and straighten my neck. That has kind of make me feel somewhat in control of this condition, even though I cant influence it that much lol. I know it sounds crazy but its true.

I do suggest everyone who feels like me back at the beginning of this thread to please reach out to your family, friends, loved ones etc. You need their help believe me. I could have never done it without the help of basically everyone on my life.

 

[ManuSony]

@Suzerman How is your tinnitus now after almost a year?