Mothers with Tinnitus

[Scared111]

How do you guys get through each day with this on your mind?

I feel like everyday is a struggle.

Feel like I finally coped with one ear and then the other ear goes. Everyday I feel like I just want to stay in bed and not wake up and hear this crap but I do because I have three young kids.

But God, when will I start feeling it's okay, or is it really just misery for the rest of my life or until tinnitus gets so bad that I no longer can take it anymore?

How do you guys do it? Find the strength ...

 

[Samantha R]

@Jkph75 @Candy @Natalie Roberts
I know these girls are mums.
Any tips?
I just try to take my babies out and stay as engaged as possible with them.
My little boy Alex has one high pitch squeal on him though! He's just mastered rolling over from back to tummy, and starts squealing until I roll him back!
I can feel the squeals go right through my ears.

 

[Candy]

I do CBT, I go to work and keep on interacting with people. I have fun with the kids. I read The Mighty for inspiration, there are similarities between chronic pain and tinnitus and I draw strength from other mums.

I have a noise generator that goes into my ear but try and save it for really bad days. I still have the bad days where I sit in my dressing gown and cry, but then I pick myself up and think there has to be more treatment in the next 10 years or I will build more tolerance. One foot in front of the other.

Moving forward I will make it my mission to raise awareness so that more funds can be raised for research and our kids generation don't have to suffer like us.

I feel your pain, stay in touch girls x

 

[Jkph75]

Of all the things I might have or could have gotten, tinnitus is the least of it. It's just really annoying. At the moment, I can still hear. I can still take care of my kids. I'm not sick. That is a blessing. Some people are in pain or otherwise debilitated and can't care for their kids. Some people get terminal illnesses and can't watch their kids grow up. These are the things that I think about. It's all about perspective. I think as time goes on it gets easier. At first I didn't know how I could live like this. If I start thinking about living the rest of my life like this, it is too overwhelming, so I just think about living today. Who knows. There could be a cure and I certainly haven't stopped trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

I find that taking the kids out somewhere helps if it is really bothering me. I always have on background sounds and sometimes music too. And sleep. If I didn't sleep i couldn't survive. I take a muscle relaxer every night and I get a great night's sleep. Hope some of this helps
Hang in there.

 

[shrimp]

I have three kids, three really LOUD kids at that, actually I think having had them around me screaming and being super noisy for more than ten years is partly what has caused my T. We used to live in a house with horrible acoustics up until a year ago so it really made all sounds super loud bouncing off the walls.
It's not easy, I've had to teach my kids that mum has ears that hurt so they have to turn the tv down when I'm in the room etc, I try to tell them not to scream at each other etc. But kids are kids and they have to be able to live even though I have sensitive ears and can't stand loud noises.
Like jkph75 I try not to think too far ahead as that is too daunting, when in a bad patch I just think 'can I live this one hour?' yes? so I I live that hour and then one more. The same with better days, one day, one week at a time, try not to think what I'll do if it gets worse (mine has spiked permanently once so far in the 1,5 years I've had T), I'll cross that bridge one hour, one day at the time if and when I get there. My dad has lived 65 years with T from an injury to his ear at age 7, he's also mostly deaf in that same ear since then, and now almost deaf and getting T on the other ear, so I figure if he's been able to live a full life with T so can I.

 

[Jkph75]

@shrimp

I know this is off topic, but how does you Dad do it? Is he getting a Cochlear implant? I was born deaf in one ear. The other one now has T. I am sure I will be almost completely deaf by then too.

 

[Bramblewood]

I'm glad to have found this thread - I am new to T and I am a mother of three tiny kids. I can't believe this has happened to me, and I am trying so hard to remain calm and present in my children's lives, but the sleepless nights are robbing me of so much life and joy.

During the day I can keep it under control, but at night, even with a white noise machine and lots of calming wind-down rituals, my body jerks awake and stays that way, because I can't turn my brain off and figure out how to NOT perceive T as a threat or be afraid of it. I don't know how to keep it together.

As mothers, please let's continue to post here and support each other. OR, let me know if there's another thread going somewhere about this.

 

[glynis]

A low dose antidepresant could help you sleep and only need 20-50mg .
Have a chat with your doctor...lots of love glynis

 

[Scared111]

I tried remeron about 2 months and tinnitus was getting a little worse each week. it did help me sleep though. but then i do not know if it would've gotten worse on its own . i don't know either. I am desperate for relief but not sure if there's anything you can really do except try to distract yourself.
Going outside with the kids help as it covers the tinnitus How loud is your tinnitus ?

I'm glad to have found this thread - I am new to T and I am a mother of three tiny kids. I can't believe this has happened to me, and I am trying so hard to remain calm and present in my children's lives, but the sleepless nights are robbing me of so much life and joy.

During the day I can keep it under control, but at night, even with a white noise machine and lots of calming wind-down rituals, my body jerks awake and stays that way, because I can't turn my brain off and figure out how to NOT perceive T as a threat or be afraid of it. I don't know how to keep it together.

As mothers, please let's continue to post here and support each other. OR, let me know if there's another thread going somewhere about this.

 

[Bramblewood]

It's hard to say how loud it is. It's high-pitched and just.. there. All the time. The shower masks it, and the dishwasher, and the fridge, but not much else. On days where I haven't slept, it seems louder.
I really want to stay away from antidepressants and sleeping pills.

 

[Blue28]

Hi, I have to admit I find it a real struggle everyday. I have a two year old. I feel like I've missed out on so much as I just feel sad all the time. I also have hyperacusis which is very hard with a toddler. I'm hoping that it'll get easier, I've spent months wishing this'd go away but it's going no where so I'm going to have to get over that. I used nature sounds etc at night and have ear plugs in case of a noisy episode. I'm hoping that research will bring something in the near future to help ease the distress of tinnitus.

 

[Parfait]

I am in the same boat. I have 4 kids- 10,9,3,2. It's been very very hard. I would personally class my tinnitus as severe in one ear and mild in the other. It effects broad arenas of life, and my ability to parent. I've let my toddlers away with too much just gave in so they didn't scream and make my ears wince/t get worse. There's lots of other ways it affects my functioning. Yes, being outside helps. I spend more now cos I care about things a lot less than I used to. Money doesn't mean the same anymore. My values have changed. Looking after 4 kids is a real challenge. I didn't have the 'space' to become ill like this. I'm much more reclusive now. I need to build my confidence back up. I was in the library today. Read the kids a book and heard the t doing its usual high pitched screech. It's spoils so so many micro moments. I'm early days, only 6 weeks into the severe t, so trying my best to adjust, but know it's unlikely to improve as the acoustic trauma I got was in hindsight very bad indeed and I have hearing loss and distorted hearing. I like being in the kitchen, cooking and Washing up noises mask it. It's not fully maskable at bedtime and I am restless a lot of the night lying from side to side in a futile attempt to control the hissing, rather like a hamster on a wheel. I work 3.5 days a week which is very very hard. Especially in long meetings where there is no masking to be had. That's just my experience. Also I wear ear muffs when kids are screaming but I find them very Uncomfy. Considering getting musician so ear plugs- the bespoke ones.

 

[Sam Bridge]

@Parfait

What do you try to use to mask at bedtime? Doesn't seem so severe if cooking noises mask it. Sucks none the less though

 

[Parfait]

If my head is over a frying pan it does drown it out. At night I use cricket noises on one side of the bed and a white noise machine on the other side of the bed. It has never drowned out the tinnitus- I can hear it above the white noise. Severity wise, it can be heard while driving, over the tv, over music, over a loud supermarket and subjectively it just feels devastating loud to me. I cannot see myself habituating very easily at this volume.

Edit: just realised the cooker hood has a fan on it so maybe that is why it drowns it out

 

[Scared111]

what have you guys done to try to alleviate the sounds? do u wear earplugs around the children? the thing about ear plugs is i that it makes tinnitus louder so i don't know how people manage to wear it... but we need protection. i don't. believe mine is acoustic trauma. some kind of neuroloigcal issue as i just woke up with it. right now, sleep is a big issue. can't seem to sleep that well. tried melatonin valerian root , benadryl but the problem is even if you fell asleep, once u wake up it's hard to fall back asleep. i don't know if it's just better to tough it out until your body is so tired it ll give in. another problem is the constant anxiety of fearing if it gets worse what to do or not to do in fear of worsening . think i need something to help take the anxiety off but afraid if any meds worsening... just so tired of dealing with this. in the mean time trying to keep up with the kids needs as my husband doesn't seem to think tinnitus is a big problem and that my head needs to be screwed on straight is what he says. I used a pillow speaker but still sleep is hard. has anyone found any great coping skills mechanisms, white noise machine. meds..... anything that helps?

 

[Kim05]

Hi all!
reading all this helps me at least feel moms out there know what I'm feeling. I had tinnitus two years ago from standing way too close to a speaker but after a couple months it went completely away. Now fast forward two years and I have a 9 month old baby now! She's the best ever! Well a little over two weeks ago I went out for a friends bday celebration which she wanted to go dancing at a club. I was there and made sure to stay away from speakers but at one point she yelled right in my ear trying to talk to me! My ear hurt bad immediately. I knew it wasn't good. My ear has been ringing and now buzzing ever since. This time around it's been difficult since my 9 month old loves to scream a high pitch scream and I'm worried it will make it worse. I feel anxious and not myself. I've been wearing ear plugs but they don't seem to mask much. I get depressed and feel so bad I'm not myself lately. I feel so guilty that I've been so on edge around her because of her screaming. I just hope and pray I will go back to normal. Her screams didn't bother me a bit before! It doesn't help I have a habit of dwelling in general and I've really been dwelling on this. Anyways just venting out since no one I know understands how hard this can be on a person.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

Glad to have found the thread. I have had tinnitus for over 20 years, some good some bad. Unfortunately the last two have been extremely bad after an ear infection where I lost more hearing and gained a distortion of speech. I have a 9 and 5 year old and I just feel as though I am missing out on the best time of my life. I love having kids but in the last two years it's been a struggle to hide the tinnitus from them. I am constantly asking them to quieten down a bit and I'm not spontaneous, fun Mum anymore. I don't want to take them out out to the movies or mini golf or things like that. I just want to hide from the world. The only time I get relief is to take a bath as it's quite a good masker but that only lasts 10 minutes. I'm avoiding anti depressants as I fear they could aggravate the tinnitus and prior use helped be gain almost 20kg which I have battled with ever since. My husband is a saint who puts up with all my complaints but it's changed his life too. Sorry to whinge. It isn't always this way. I still have some good days . . . it's just that today isn't one of them.