Musician — Is This It for Me?

[Scottrock]

Hi All,
I am a working and recording musician who since getting T over 3 weeks ago, have not played since. I have cancelled all future gigs while I come to grips with the idea that my career might be over. Are there any of you out there that have had to deal with the same? Sadly the very thing that I love probably caused my T. That and a middle ear infection.
Thanks, Brett

 

[PaulBe]

Yes. Last gig in 2013-2014 new years eve. Couldn't hear ANY of the bass. Not played since. Not prepared to risk any further extension.

 

[Ed209]

Same here. I'm a professional musician and I had to quit my band after the onset of T. I've had a few big opportunities fall into my lap since then that I've regrettably had to turn down. It's soul destroying, but my teaching business has kept my spirits up somewhat. This and just a general change in my attitude. I had to dig real deep to reach an acceptance of my situation.

Music has been my entire life, so it REALLY affected me. I still hold hope that I may return to playing live at some point; obviously with my pro musician plugs.

When all is said and done though, I am doing much better now and hope I continue with the progress I am making. T doesn't dictate to me anywhere near as much as it used to and I'm finding happier times.

 

[GregCA]

Drummer here. My T is not noise induced however, but it is quite severe. I still play sporadically, at low volume (it's an e-kit).

 

[Jomo]

Prob going to have to go the ekit way...havent played since...will play again someday

 

[Scottrock]

Yep! Soul destroying it is indeed Ed. It's already doin' my head in. When I told the boys in the band that I had to cancel our New Year's Eve gig in Dubai, they were understandably shattered, and didn't really understand! I'm still kickin' myself around for not wearing my earplugs in recent times. With them in I struggled to hear my vocals, the guitar was fine. I do a bit of solo work so maybe sometime down the track - gonna give my ears a break, and try to get my head around my new life with this bloody horrible affliction!!

 

[Lorac]

I was an oboist. I played the oboe for decades before I lost the hearing in my left ear and gained tinnitus instead. July 19, 2013 is the day the music died and I was a depressed mess for a long time after that fateful day. I finally started thinking about all of my friends and acquaintances who do not play music and have never played music but are perfectly happy in life. I started putting my energy into other hobbies instead. I don't know if I will ever play again but I am thankful for the wonderful experiences I had with my oboe.

 

[Tweaker]

Some professional musicians continue, despite tinnitus but I don't know how they do it. Perhaps they are not as troubled by it. I'm not professional musician but listening to music and playing acoustic guitar has helped me manage my tinnitus. No reason to give up on music completely.

 

[SilverSpiral]

If you have only plain tinnitus you can probably do it, especially if it is maskable. it's the other hearing stuff that is more brutal. If music doesn't sound right, it doesn't make you feel right.

 

[yonkapin]

Many musicians are able to continue their careers in spite of their condition. You should take your time in returning to it though and make every effort to inform yourself on how to further protect your hearing if you should choose to continue.

Consider custom mold musician's ear plugs, in-ear monitoring depending on your band and set up, and ensure that any sound engineer you work with makes sure to properly attenuate levels in your venue so you're not exposed to potentially dangerous levels of noise, bad engineers are notorious for running levels into the red and creating a wall of sound.

You should also consider taking supplements to protect your hearing like NAC, magnesium, Niacin, melatonin, B12, etc. You can also consider being prepared in the case of further hearing damage by having oral corticosteroids on hand, this is something I've discussed with my GP and he has given me a script of prednisolone incase I ever find myself in a situation where I have seriously compromised my hearing ability.

I would also consider getting a hearing test done up to 20khz and then get regular check ups every 6-12 months to see how your hearing threshold is holding up if you continue to perform.

3 weeks is still very early, so hopefully things improve considerably over the next couple of months.

 

[three4rd]

Hi, I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers here, but I don't quite understand the thoughts on giving up playing. I am a church organist and guitarist and actually find that when I am playing either instrument is when I feel the most 'normal' and can just about totally ignore the tinnitus. I think most of what is being said here relative to feeling like you can no longer play relates to band settings where there is a fairly loud level present and hence the fear of doing further damage. At least that is what I'm reading into the posts. But, short of the volume, I can't see why you would feel you need to give up playing. I consider playing and immersing myself in music my saving grace. It is moments of relative or true silence that are the most deafening in terms of awareness of my tinnitus pitch. Please don't give up on your musical talents and abilities just because of having gotten tinnitus. IF, of course, your tinnitus is of a medium to low Hz pitch, I can see where that might really interfere with being able to concentrate on the music. My pitch, luckily I suppose, is very high - around 8,000 Hz - and so alot of what I am playing (especially on the guitar) is well below that. Best of luck to all of you. Hang in there...

 

[SilverSpiral]

Hi, I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers here, but I don't quite understand the thoughts on giving up playing. I am a church organist and guitarist and actually find that when I am playing either instrument is when I feel the most 'normal' and can just about totally ignore the tinnitus. I think most of what is being said here relative to feeling like you can no longer play relates to band settings where there is a fairly loud level present and hence the fear of doing further damage. At least that is what I'm reading into the posts. But, short of the volume, I can't see why you would feel you need to give up playing. I consider playing and immersing myself in music my saving grace. It is moments of relative or true silence that are the most deafening in terms of awareness of my tinnitus pitch. Please don't give up on your musical talents and abilities just because of having gotten tinnitus. IF, of course, your tinnitus is of a medium to low Hz pitch, I can see where that might really interfere with being able to concentrate on the music. My pitch, luckily I suppose, is very high - around 8,000 Hz - and so alot of what I am playing (especially on the guitar) is well below that. Best of luck to all of you. Hang in there...

What if the frequencies around 1.5-2k 4-6k and 8k now can not be heard in detail, you can't hear the actual sounds instead you hear a horrible the most coloquial way of describing it is "whistling" but more accurately would be "resonance" or like a modulated "pure tone/sine wave" at those frequencies. And any sound that inhabits those frequencies gives you this, and it is ALWAYS LOUDER than the actual source sound. It is horrible hearing screeching over sounds. Music that used to sound good and make you feel good, makes you feel bad. Even music you don't like makes you sick to your stomach those screeches and hearing distortions are disgusting. You can't block them out, there are string sections behind every tv program and they sound horrible. The arranged music in video games sounds horrible. Everything sounds horrible. Speech is different speech is very sticcatto in nature and of a limited frequency, so even if you hear resonance over top of it (it is increased when speaking on telephone or listening to a poorly recorded audio speech since it adds noise) it's not as bad with speech. It is in my opinion more difficult to cope with than becoming deaf, at least for someone who knew a lot about sound. It makes you sick. Hearing stuff that sounds bad makes you feel bad.

 

[three4rd]

SilverSpiral...oh my...I can only imagine what you're trying to describe and how difficult that must be to cope with. When your tinnitus started, did it always have such a pronounced and distorting an effect on perceived sound at the frequencies you refer to? My perception of sound is basically unchanged from before the tinnitus set in, with the exception of the tinnitus pitch riding over the top of everything else.

 

[SilverSpiral]

SilverSpiral...oh my...I can only imagine what you're trying to describe and how difficult that must be to cope with. When your tinnitus started, did it always have such a pronounced and distorting an effect on perceived sound at the frequencies you refer to? My perception of sound is basically unchanged from before the tinnitus set in, with the exception of the tinnitus pitch riding over the top of everything else.

Yes all my hearing issues including T started at once, although the nature of the sound distortion took longer to recognize the extent of. White noise like the shower, rain, water boiling, distant traffic show it up most. These wide sources of white noise all create resonances at said frequencies, making masking completely redundant. However music is the most devestating place to hear such distortions.

Since I had never experienced tinnitus, or hearing distortion, in the first few weeks I thought it was temporary, then after about a month I started taking supplements thinking I needed some aid in recovering, then after 3 months, which I had read was the typical acute phase, I started to panic that it may not be temporary and registered on this site. Now 10 months or so since onset, and after taking nearly every supplement mentioned on this site, no change and all the more despair. my hearing has been affected in such a way all because I went to one show without earplugs. What a horrible circumstance that I did not take my earplugs it was at a venue that had previously been much quieter, and I only used my 15db filters on my custom molded plugs. This time part way through they cranked the volume and beyond that one sound was triggered which was so loud the wind could be felt from the speakers and it rattled your chest. Rediculous. Now all is lost. Just one event without earplugs, the one where I obviously in hindsight would have needed them most, and my life has been turned upside down.

As each month passes, I have continued taking supplements, and have avoided even moderate sounds, but as I come to a year, and finally 18 months, if there is no improvement or resolution. I will have to make some hard decisions.

 

[Nathalie]

What if the frequencies around 1.5-2k 4-6k and 8k now can not be heard in detail, you can't hear the actual sounds instead you hear a horrible the most coloquial way of describing it is "whistling" but more accurately would be "resonance" or like a modulated "pure tone/sine wave" at those frequencies. And any sound that inhabits those frequencies gives you this, and it is ALWAYS LOUDER than the actual source sound. It is horrible hearing screeching over sounds. Music that used to sound good and make you feel good, makes you feel bad. Even music you don't like makes you sick to your stomach those screeches and hearing distortions are disgusting. You can't block them out, there are string sections behind every tv program and they sound horrible. The arranged music in video games sounds horrible. Everything sounds horrible. Speech is different speech is very sticcatto in nature and of a limited frequency, so even if you hear resonance over top of it (it is increased when speaking on telephone or listening to a poorly recorded audio speech since it adds noise) it's not as bad with speech. It is in my opinion more difficult to cope with than becoming deaf, at least for someone who knew a lot about sound. It makes you sick. Hearing stuff that sounds bad makes you feel bad.

Exactly the same horror for me. Dreadful.

 

[Scottrock]

I got in the studio last night (I'm half way through an album) to play and mix some band stuff from pre T down. I felt strong but It hurt too much - literally. My right ear is too sensitive.
To make things worse the offers of work keep rolling in, and right now I should be preparing for a NYE gig on the beach. It might take some time!! Just woke up to a huge spike. Ahhhh!

 

[Bobby B]

I got in the studio last night (I'm half way through an album) to play and mix some band stuff from pre T down. I felt strong but It hurt too much - literally. My right ear is too sensitive.
To make things worse the offers of work keep rolling in, and right now I should be preparing for a NYE gig on the beach. It might take some time!! Just woke up to a huge spike. Ahhhh!

My advice - take a full year off music/sound where you can control sound 100%.

The acute phase is a very crucial period were you can still make it even worse than it is now or much better depending on how you deal with sound and let your ears heal.

Did you know that the common consensus for ww1 ans ww2 vetrans having T is that the T actually did disappear after a few months.

They did not have a history of years of loud clubbing, car/home stereo, concerts or portable players like we do so that's is the big difference, and age of course.

You are a musician, your ears are your most valuable work tool. In time you will be able to come back to almost normal work but this is going to take longer than you think.

Age plays a role and cumulative damage...and ears take a very long time to heal but they do heal to some extent provided you don't expose them to loud sound above 60 db during that long healing period.

During that period, do some LLLT, take supplements, listen to music at low volume etc..

 

[three4rd]

I also produce and record albums. Is there a problem wearing studio monitor headphones to do mixes and EQ, etc.? I've certainly done hundreds of hours of that during the course of preparing my albums for release. My audiology doc says at lower levels (and it's all basically just solo guitar) it should not be a problem. However, I often used to use headphones while practicing the organ (we're talking full console church organ here..), and so was exposed to much greater decibel levels and sound pressure across a wide frequency spectrum than anything the acoustic guitar recordings generate. I've done this with the organ for many years....probably why I'm here...along with 34 years of directing elementary bands that sometimes had close to 100 kids with a line of 8-10 snare drummers in the back row playing against a cinder block wall in the back of the stage so the sound just bounces right back off the wall. 4th and 5th grade percussionists often tend not to play at a low volume level either. Then there were the literally thousands of private instrumental lessons given to brass, woodwind, and percussion students in small enclosed spaces. A recipe for tinnitus I suppose, and yet I've never spoken to another retired music teacher that mentioned they have it. It makes me feel like going to every music teacher I can find and tell them to start wearing hearing protection though!

 

[Scottrock]

Yep! When I told the guys in the band that I was out, and that they would have to find a new frontman, I gave them A father-like lecture on their hearing and how to look after it, even youtubing what I am hearing 24/7 so that they have some idea of the shit that I'm going through. They never will of course unless they're silly enough not to take the advice. Sad times but I'm hoping to continue writing again soon, using headphones with plugs in maybe? Had a bit of a play on my mandolin today - hurt too much, so grabbed the telecaster (didn't plug it in) and played for a bit.
I listened to some of the recordings done only five weeks ago (pre T) and when isolating the tracks it was my voice high notes that was spiking my ears the most. How sad is that? Could well have been brought undone by my own voice!!! Not fair!! I thought for sure that it would have been our new drummer who is a big hitter and loud! Knew I should have stuck with acoustic solo stuff!!

 

[three4rd]

Yeah..it is more than a bummer facing the realization that most of our tinnitus issues are likely sprung from our own musical doings! Not fair indeed but understandable.

Most of what I record is acoustic although it is mic'd and then going through a digital interface and then into my recording software where it is EQd and effects added, etc. I also dub in additional guitar, bass, vocal, and clarinet tracks as deemed necessary depending on the piece, and so once all of that is in probably considerably more sound pressure is present than would be with just solo guitar. LOTS of time spent with the headphones..probably not a great idea in retrospect, but I always think you can get a better sense of the mix than hearing it through speakers plus whoever else is in the house can get real tired of hearing the same music over and over and over again.

Scariest thing about this tinnitus is...how bad or worse can it get? I thought I was done with incurable (at least non-life threatening) medical issues after getting spasmodic dysphonia 13 years ago. And the symptoms of that ARE very treatable with botox injections and have been under control since 2005. I'll take not being able to talk well over having 24/7 tinnitus anytime! This is the most annoying thing to come along thus far. But, as they say, there is always someone out there in far worse shape in terms of medical issues. I was diagnosed with atypical meniere's disease after my next-to-last hearing tests and that usually does not include tinnitus as a symptom, for which I was always thankful. So now, of course, here I am with tinnitus anyway. Let us hope that 2017 will bring good things or at least nothing worse.

 

[PaulBe]

I stopped singing when my voice felt like a hammer trying to bash the roof of my skull.

 

[Scottrock]

Wishing you all the best for the New Year guys. Hang onto to hope and stay as well as possible.

 

[I who love music]

Oh ya. My story's a long one.
But after not being able to even play an acoustic guitar for a year, I'm back to my old ways. Headphones, playing gigs, etc...
BUT, It's not loud music anymore. I can't do it. I've been to hell and back, and I don't want to go back. Everything had to change, my type of music, instruments, everything. But I'm happier doing this miked acoustic stuff than I ever was playing in loud bands, though I miss it. But it's not worth it.