"My Friend's Tinnitus"

[Tenna]

Inspired by a thread of @Kathi "My friend amazed me today" https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/my-friend-amazed-me-today.5296/#post-53456
I'd like to start a new positive thread and you contributing with your experiences will be essential.
The ones struggling with t need to collect inspiration and to talk about it, while most habituated succeeded at neutralising it and forgetting it, making it extremely difficult at times to see the other side we're aiming for.
Many of us have by talking about our t openly and randomly encountered people saying "oh, well I have t, it doesnt bother me, I still do this, I still do that," things we find impossible at this stage and for future.
In this thread I want you to write about those you know, have met or a stranger you know and how they successfully deal with t, or even better how they just live with it, and what they can still do with it.

For my own part I know my psychologist has t, as of late he was considering going to a Rolling Stones concert, not considering because of t, but because of not knowing whether he could get a ticket. No t nor anxiety to hinder him.
Some time ago I consulted a mid twenties audiologist about earplugs, she was half deaf on both ears since early teen age, with different tinnitus sounds on both, she loves going to concerts on a regular basis. She would unplug her hearing aids and put in some earplugs, not take reasonable precautions based on her fear and anxiety, but on her knowledge on audiology. She loved mainly indie music (as her hearing was a bit blurred anyway it added an extra indie touch lol), as well as the concert environments.
Some time ago I attended at a wedding and the husband's father wore some kind of hearing aids (basically a little wire going from behind his ears into them, it was incredibly subtle) anyway he just had a fantastic time, without any earplugs, and without worries.
The last person is a guy who guy who acquired t after a gunshot close to his head,
once a year he goes to a big music festival (with earplugs yes) and he doesnt give a damn.

I'm not saying the above mentioned haven't dealt with t/hearingloss, my point of this thread is we need to reflect stories of the the silent habituated majority, to see reality and possibility!
So do tell us about your friend's tinnitus

 

[Danza]

I have two friends with quite loud T, they can hear it if we are having coffee in noisy restaurant.

Once I asked one of them "Has T affected to your over all wellbeing? (she works like a mad dog and is very active/productive lady). she said "Well, I have NEVER thought about it, BUT now that you mentioned it - maybe a little bit" LOL . Another has suffered T for 15 years and it is all the time louder. I asked her hints how to cope; and what does she do to handle the situation, she says "Well, sometimes I just imagine that I am walking along side a beautiful beach". I am like "OKAY" . I know, she does a lot of things conected with the nature and now started to be more interested what she could do more. Both of them have not been googling for help from the internet (at least that what I unerstood)

Danza

 

[Martin69]

In the meantime I know so many people having T.
The big problem is that T is not like T. As we know one could suffer with mild T, others cope perfectly with loud T.
The thing is that many people I know have no issues with their T. So I sometimes feel weak when I suffer so much.
I was just out for lunch with my wife and my mother-in-low. They both have sometimes T, which comes and goes. We were sitting very close to a water fountain. I normally avoid talking with them about it just to concentrate on other things. But while I was hearing my T clearly cutting through my head (because of the high frequency), I asked my mother-in-low if she could hear it. She really concentrated, but the water was too loud. She could not hear her T.
As I remember, Dr. Nagler mentioned he was sitting on the "Maid of the Mist" close to the Niagara Falls and could hear his T. I have never been there, but this must be really loud. He was perfectly fine with his T after one to two years (being bed-ridden for one year).
Therefore, I know many people with T. Mild and loud.
Sometimes it helps knowing that others cope, sometimes I think they don't know what is going on in my head.
At the end, I guess most people habituate and live a perfect life.
The time people needed to cope is from 6 weeks to years.
I think I am falling in the latter category.

 

[Tenna]

Indeed @Martin69 we all differ much, on one hand it may feel as if those coping well with t might not grasp what we're going through, on the other hand we need to hear and know about the people both you and @Danza know about!
For every single person in here thinking they'll never manage, we need to mention the many living along without caring about their t, as those who have forgotten their t will forget telling

 

[Tenna]

One to add to the list An elderly man in my neighbourhood I bump into on my walks, told me he used to have tinnitus from playing in an symphony orchestra, he had noice induced t which stopped after 6 years with it. He told me he now may get it once in a while for a a very brief time, like any normal person.

 

[undecided]

Nice topic.

My dad has tinnitus, I've never actually seen him minding it, or ever talking about it.
When I asked him, he said that he hardly ever thinks about it. Says it was noise induced decades ago...

An old colleague, now a very close friend, also has it. Developed it due to some kind of ear infection 6-7 years ago, lost most of his hearing in one ear. Says it's very loud, he wears a hearing aid.
Claims he stopped minding it a week after onset and is just happy to still have a bit of hearing left in the affected ear.

Damn, maybe I caught tinnitus from them

 

[Marlene]

Me to my old fellas had it for 30 years,did I catch it from him ???????,but then as a female I blame everything on a male,regardless.
My husbands never let his be much of a bother,I know I draw his attention to it,as mine can aggravates me more ,but that said he doesn't have the problems I get as follow on's.

 

[LadyDi]

I posted this way back in January on a thread generated by @Per (a board member who I miss greatly.Per, if you are out there, please phone home!) Think it applies here. Good topic!

I also felt so alone when I first came down with tinnitus, plus had to deal with the terrible anxiety and panic. But then this amazing thing happened. As I decided to talk a little about my tinnitus, and reach out for help, I was shocked to discover so many people had tinnitus and/or severe anxiety -- and I never had known. Here are some of them:

Our long-time photo editor at the newspaper (got T while serving on an aircraft carrier in the Air Force.)

My minister (had T since she was a teenager. She also is an excellent professional musician. How she does it I don't know.)

One of my former students from the high school group I run as a volunteer (had tinnitus since she was a young child. She is getting ready to finish medical school and start her internship soon, and just got married.)

A top inner-ear surgeon and university medical school department head who I went to for a special consultation (had tinnitus since he was a young man and wears hearing aids/maskers in both ears.)

One of the smartest, most competent women I know; she works for the military and speaks multiple languages (had crippling anxiety so severe after the birth of her first child that she had to leave her job for a year and was unable to walk out of her house for months.)

Our entertainment editor, a very upbeat guy and respected professional (got tinnitus suddenly a year ago, following a concert, and also initially had an anxiety reaction. He was a tremendous help to me in my early days).

So remember: We are not alone. Bet you would be surprised how many people you know and respect who have tinnitus and anxiety, and have learned to cope. Don't be afraid to talk about your T. These people can come forward and help you

 

[Martin69]

Spoke today with two people at my age (45). They got T long time ago (> 10 years). They say I am still in the early stages (10 months). It has gone into the background for them. It still really puzzles me how my sound could go into the background. It is impossible to compare T loudness and frequency. And people don't want to really discuss this. They say, one can have big problems with very mild T and others have no problems with loud T. I hear this always when I complain about my high-pitched sound. God, if I would be there where they are already...

 

[ampumpkin]

@Martin69 just wondering: your T is low in volume? is that correct? But the fact that it is so high pitched makes it cut throught everything? Do I understand correctly?

 

[Martin69]

@Martin69 just wondering: your T is low in volume? is that correct? But the fact that it is so high pitched makes it cut throught everything? Do I understand correctly?

Hi Anne-Marie. Nice hearing from you.
I don't know what loud or quiet is. I can listen and understand everything around me.
But my head is buzzing like an electrostatic plant. So I hear the sound 24/7 over everything.
Difficult for me keeping me under control.

A guy once explained it very well.

" Have had T for about five years now in total. I can hear it everywhere and always, by the ocean, in the shower, above white noise, pink noise etcetra, it just comes through and lays itself above masking sounds. Sounds like a dentist drill mixed with a "screeching freight train against the railway"-sound. Very high-pitched and wildly fluctuating from day to day."

 

[ampumpkin]

I mentionned it in another thread but my parents both have T.

My dad says it comes and goes. When he has T, it is very loud and very high pitched, can be heard above everything, including city traffic and shower. It always goes away. He doesn't give a crap.

My mother is deaf in the right ear due to a bacteria that damaged the nerve when she was a baby. Her right ear is "dead". She hears nothing, she feels no pain, nothing. In her left ear, she has like 70% hearing and a very loud morse corde. Plus her left ear clogs all the time due to ETD. She feels like she is in a submarine and yet, she doesn't care...

Why is it that I cannot reach that state??!!!

 

[Tenna]

So remember: We are not alone. Bet you would be surprised how many people you know and respect who have tinnitus and anxiety, and have learned to cope. Don't be afraid to talk about your T. These people can come forward and help you

Exactly what this thread is about!
Great with all of your contributions guys, it's exactly these people we all need to hear about, there is such a big group of habituated that have 'stopped' hearing theirs, so whenever we hear such story, for Per's and for our sake, we need to collect them!

 

[Steve]

This is good @Tenna

A forum like ours creates a very distorted picture, many people are here because they are suffering. It can make you think that the future is gloomy but there are just so many who aren't bothered or have stopped being bothered by it.

I've worked around construction for years, in that time I have talked to a good number of people who have t and just get on and don't really notice it. One site manager told me he had it when I mentioned mine, but as long as he didn't talk about it or give it any focus it faded into the background.

When he talked to me about it the sound grew louder for him so he just said he didn't want to discuss it any more. And that was that.

 

[Marlene]

Love what you put up Lady Di.X

 

[Tenna]

@Steve indeed! in all threads of our own doom and gloom we have to remind eachother of the other side of the coin, exactly by telling the stories of people like that manager. And as you say just by talking about it it grew back into his conscience, whenever we get to hear about how one has forgotten what they hear,
a glimpse of the vast majority living happily in a state of having forgotten,
we best collect it imo

 

[MidnightOilAudio]

Bumping this back to the top. Just had a chat with a very close friend the other day (i have known him since I was about 10 & I am 35 now, holy sh*t, 25 years!) about T. He was a harrier mechanic in the Marines for 8 years. Here's how our convo went.
Me: "so it doesn't bother you?"
Him: "no, not really."
Me: "maybe because your onset was gradual, and mine was very sudden, that's why it bothers me so much."
Him: "I dunno. I just don't even notice it unless you bring it up."
*in my head* 'maybe his just isn't that loud and that's why he's not bothered by it'
Me: "ok, I'm gonna put on some music, I'll slowly increase the volume until you tell me that you can't hear your T."

So, I gradually raise the volume of the stereo until he can't hear his T anymore. It took roughly the same amount of volume to cover his as it takes me to cover mine, so in that crude measurement, mine is not louder than his. He just has a different personality and let's things "get to him" less.