- Jan 5, 2021
- 302
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2020
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Stress + sleep deprivation + noise
I live in a building that is mixed residential and commercial. At the beginning of November 2020, a business moved in next to me that would play loud music all day. This happened without any warning, and I was trying to stay home as much as possible due to COVID-19. The first thing I did was try to mask their thumping with my own low-pitched noise which I generated on the computer.
I now constantly go back and forth between whether or not I had done enough of this to damage myself this seriously, considering I did not really notice any ringing until weeks later. In fact, many of my sounds have had an even more delayed onset.
The second thing I did, still early November, was order a $300 pair of Sony noise-cancelling headphones, so I could start to get my things in order in the apartment without being overly distracted. I knew I was going to have to leave soon for my sanity, but now I'm not sure I succeeded in the "sanity" part.
The symptoms might have started ramping up already without me knowing it. Although nothing was sounding bad to me in the "real world" yet, I noticed that some of my music was sounding a bit "off" in the new phones, like the compression algorithm was doing something a little wonky in the highs. I put up with it and gravitated towards music that sounded better.
I was spending less and less time at the actual apartment and more time trying to find other places to sleep, and exhausting myself by spending time waiting in my car and other places when I would normally be lying around, chilling out, winding down for the night, etc.—and the places I did find to sleep, I could not sleep in late like I normally would.
A few weeks into November I made the dreaded visit to the landlord's office... I did not want to be "that guy" but I needed some kind of an option. They said they had another space that would open up for me in January.
Around this time, or a few days later, is when I started to notice the actual high-pitched ringing. It had somehow crept up on me instead of just "switching on" like most cases I read about. Mind you, I'm already a wreck in a multitude of ways by this point. I start googling, I hope it's ear wax impaction or something. I make an appointment with my primary first thing in December and get to the Audiologist/ENT on the 17th. Hearing test went fine (many discussions about the limitations of audiograms here), ENT found nothing (many discussions about the futility of discussing tinnitus with ENTs here too), I was sent off with a sad little pamphlet. My mom texted me to ask how it went, and asked me to call... and I broke down crying on the phone.
Since then I've been noticing various changes to my collections of sounds. Some come and go. The high pitched sounds seem to be agitated by all external sound, both high and low, while the lower pitched sounds seem to resonate with external sounds close to their frequency. It seems like if I give my ears as much of a break from sound as possible, it takes more to ramp them up. Stress and noise both send them through the roof. The effect on my concentration, humor, work, even ability to daydream, is severe. Music is mostly out of the question, and like many others here, that was my love (and hopefully will be again). Stuff that needs to get done gets done because I plow through it joylessly, such as the move into the new apartment. Sometimes the ringing has mercy, but hoping for those moments is not living.
I've spent hours and hours on this site searching for clues about what to expect, and how to at least not make it worse. I definitely don't think my job is helping (loud, stressful, busy supermarket), but I don't know how long of a leave I could take without getting into financial trouble. I get scared, when I'm there, that I'm hurting myself more. Maybe a few weeks, but I doubt anything would change noticeably for the better in such a short time. The new apartment is not that much better than the original one, noise-wise, so I'm plugging up a lot and using the NC headphones without music. A night doesn't go by that I don't have dark thoughts, but I've started working on deep breathing and seeing if I can get more "sleepy" feeling again. I have to remind myself that a lot of people are suffering through a pandemic, I don't have to keep this apartment or job forever, and if I can learn to manage, there may be some hope in the future with regenerative treatments like FX-322. (I know they've had clinical trials near where my parents live, which is frustrating in a "so close yet so far away" kind of way.)
So anyway, I'm at about 2 1/2 months. Seriously, if I can get back to hearing music I love without being frustrated by it, I will be the happiest person in the world, I will never again judge other people for their taste in music, and I will shower praise on everyone in my life who has listened to me going on and on about how horrible this is.
I now constantly go back and forth between whether or not I had done enough of this to damage myself this seriously, considering I did not really notice any ringing until weeks later. In fact, many of my sounds have had an even more delayed onset.
The second thing I did, still early November, was order a $300 pair of Sony noise-cancelling headphones, so I could start to get my things in order in the apartment without being overly distracted. I knew I was going to have to leave soon for my sanity, but now I'm not sure I succeeded in the "sanity" part.
The symptoms might have started ramping up already without me knowing it. Although nothing was sounding bad to me in the "real world" yet, I noticed that some of my music was sounding a bit "off" in the new phones, like the compression algorithm was doing something a little wonky in the highs. I put up with it and gravitated towards music that sounded better.
I was spending less and less time at the actual apartment and more time trying to find other places to sleep, and exhausting myself by spending time waiting in my car and other places when I would normally be lying around, chilling out, winding down for the night, etc.—and the places I did find to sleep, I could not sleep in late like I normally would.
A few weeks into November I made the dreaded visit to the landlord's office... I did not want to be "that guy" but I needed some kind of an option. They said they had another space that would open up for me in January.
Around this time, or a few days later, is when I started to notice the actual high-pitched ringing. It had somehow crept up on me instead of just "switching on" like most cases I read about. Mind you, I'm already a wreck in a multitude of ways by this point. I start googling, I hope it's ear wax impaction or something. I make an appointment with my primary first thing in December and get to the Audiologist/ENT on the 17th. Hearing test went fine (many discussions about the limitations of audiograms here), ENT found nothing (many discussions about the futility of discussing tinnitus with ENTs here too), I was sent off with a sad little pamphlet. My mom texted me to ask how it went, and asked me to call... and I broke down crying on the phone.
Since then I've been noticing various changes to my collections of sounds. Some come and go. The high pitched sounds seem to be agitated by all external sound, both high and low, while the lower pitched sounds seem to resonate with external sounds close to their frequency. It seems like if I give my ears as much of a break from sound as possible, it takes more to ramp them up. Stress and noise both send them through the roof. The effect on my concentration, humor, work, even ability to daydream, is severe. Music is mostly out of the question, and like many others here, that was my love (and hopefully will be again). Stuff that needs to get done gets done because I plow through it joylessly, such as the move into the new apartment. Sometimes the ringing has mercy, but hoping for those moments is not living.
I've spent hours and hours on this site searching for clues about what to expect, and how to at least not make it worse. I definitely don't think my job is helping (loud, stressful, busy supermarket), but I don't know how long of a leave I could take without getting into financial trouble. I get scared, when I'm there, that I'm hurting myself more. Maybe a few weeks, but I doubt anything would change noticeably for the better in such a short time. The new apartment is not that much better than the original one, noise-wise, so I'm plugging up a lot and using the NC headphones without music. A night doesn't go by that I don't have dark thoughts, but I've started working on deep breathing and seeing if I can get more "sleepy" feeling again. I have to remind myself that a lot of people are suffering through a pandemic, I don't have to keep this apartment or job forever, and if I can learn to manage, there may be some hope in the future with regenerative treatments like FX-322. (I know they've had clinical trials near where my parents live, which is frustrating in a "so close yet so far away" kind of way.)
So anyway, I'm at about 2 1/2 months. Seriously, if I can get back to hearing music I love without being frustrated by it, I will be the happiest person in the world, I will never again judge other people for their taste in music, and I will shower praise on everyone in my life who has listened to me going on and on about how horrible this is.