My Positive Story and Insights to Habituation

[Steve2212]

Today was the first day since i got T in 8 weeks that I found habit for around an hour - definitely had it and was really clear in the head - it didnt bother me at all - back to my old self - the trick is to get your head around it and say things like:

- this doesn't bother me
- Im happy with this and breath through as you say this - remember to breath
- if you find yourself in a negative spiral hit the gym or do an hour yoga - KEEP BUSY and try to understand your body and how to regulate this.
- people are SOOOO much worse off than this
- keep the sound of the ocean or rain on your phone as your doing work
- KEEP SAYING TO YOURSELF: harden the FU** UP - this is NO PITY PARTY - get on with it and stop the self indulgence!!!!

- think about other things - FOCUS on other things - if negative things come into your mind get out of there and go for a walk and breath - this is all i mdoing

 

[OneTimePoster]

Today was the first day since i got T in 8 weeks that I found habit for around an hour - definitely had it and was really clear in the head - it didnt bother me at all - back to my old self - the trick is to get your head around it and say things like:

- this doesn't bother me
- Im happy with this and breath through as you say this - remember to breath
- if you find yourself in a negative spiral hit the gym or do an hour yoga - KEEP BUSY and try to understand your body and how to regulate this.
- people are SOOOO much worse off than this
- keep the sound of the ocean or rain on your phone as your doing work
- KEEP SAYING TO YOURSELF: harden the FU** UP - this is NO PITY PARTY - get on with it and stop the self indulgence!!!!

- think about other things - FOCUS on other things - if negative things come into your mind get out of there and go for a walk and breath - this is all i mdoing

If it helps you, great. But I would disagree. Don't fight the negative thoughts and feeling, but let them be there, the will eventually start to leave as soon as you're allowing them to be. In a high stress situation it's also good to be kind on yourself. Anyway, everyone is different, but this is my advice which has pulled me out of it. It's been a long while since I even heard my tinnitus, I know I have trouble finding it even if I "look" for it in a silent room now.

 

[Roy114]

I'm doing decently well right now with my habituation. I've had tinnitus for 1,5 years, its about a 7 out of 10 loudness with a 10khz pitch. I can hear it throughout the entire day, over pretty much anything if I focus on it. Despite all that right now I'm able to live a normal live again. I do however realise that I am still bothered by the fact that I have tinnitus. For example in 3 weeks I'm going on a 8-day vacation to Spain with 3 friends, but I keep thinking about how much better it would be without tinnitus (especially because we're gonna be consuming alot of alcohol, and that seems to make it temporarily worse). I don't feel depressed anymore like I did almost a year back, but I know that CBT or anything like that would help me make the final push to being habituated. The problem right now is I'm in my final year of college so I don't have any money to spend on therapy even though I could really use it. Stories like yours are my best help right now so I want to thank you for sharing it with us. It means alot!

 

[Steve2212]

yeh i spoke to soon i think Im back where I started - Just had a massive spike and Im trying to work out how to manage this with my body = im only 8 weeks in here and Im new at this so Im just learning the ways to get on and live my life

I do yoga - gym and Im trying to not have white noise on to let the T come thru - lets see how this workds - any other advice would be greatly apprciated.

I also have a skype chat coming up with julian so I do hope that helps....this is hard and this is difficult but I know 3 people with this and they all say the same thing...they dont really pay any attention to it and it doesnt seem to afect therm

 

[OneTimePoster]

I'm doing decently well right now with my habituation. I've had tinnitus for 1,5 years, its about a 7 out of 10 loudness with a 10khz pitch. I can hear it throughout the entire day, over pretty much anything if I focus on it. Despite all that right now I'm able to live a normal live again. I do however realise that I am still bothered by the fact that I have tinnitus. For example in 3 weeks I'm going on a 8-day vacation to Spain with 3 friends, but I keep thinking about how much better it would be without tinnitus (especially because we're gonna be consuming alot of alcohol, and that seems to make it temporarily worse). I don't feel depressed anymore like I did almost a year back, but I know that CBT or anything like that would help me make the final push to being habituated. The problem right now is I'm in my final year of college so I don't have any money to spend on therapy even though I could really use it. Stories like yours are my best help right now so I want to thank you for sharing it with us. It means alot!

If you're bothered by it, you're brain still has negative meaning attached to the tinnitus. If you allow these negative emotions and thoughts, you will eventually notice that they leave (they flow past). Then you're brain starts to learn that these internal sounds are completely unimportant and then you will start to loose them from your consciousness. This is how it worked for me. At the point where you habituate, you don't even care anymore and just want to focus on other stull in your life. You are well on your way to get to that point. Remember to also allow the thoughts "my vacation would be much better without tinnitus", remember this is just a thought that wants to be allowed, needs to flow through you, and will eventually leave again. Try to not judge these thoughts and feelings as something bad, they are there for a reason, allowing them is how you heal your emotional wound and habituate. Thanks for letting me know that my story helps, it made my day

 

[OneTimePoster]

yeh i spoke to soon i think Im back where I started - Just had a massive spike and Im trying to work out how to manage this with my body = im only 8 weeks in here and Im new at this so Im just learning the ways to get on and live my life

I do yoga - gym and Im trying to not have white noise on to let the T come thru - lets see how this workds - any other advice would be greatly apprciated.

I also have a skype chat coming up with julian so I do hope that helps....this is hard and this is difficult but I know 3 people with this and they all say the same thing...they dont really pay any attention to it and it doesnt seem to afect therm

You will get there, don't fight your thoughts and emotions, but allow your body to heal from this. If you're talking about the youtube Cranio sacral therapy Julian, I think he is great! His videos helped me greatly in the first period of my tinnitus despair. I hope my story helps you as well. All of my tips and insights can be found in this threat. I wish you the best in this (temporary!) difficult, time.

 

[Roy114]

How loud is your tinnitus right now? You probably don't notice it right now or just minimal, but is it possible to hear it over everyday sounds if you let your brain focus on it? I feel like the hardest part for me is the fact that I hear it throughout the entire day, instead of just in a quiet room like alot of other people that have tinnitus.

 

[OneTimePoster]

How loud is your tinnitus right now? You probably don't notice it right now or just minimal, but is it possible to hear it over everyday sounds if you let your brain focus on it? I feel like the hardest part for me is the fact that I hear it throughout the entire day, instead of just in a quiet room like alot of other people that have tinnitus.

I had a really high pitched tinnitus (and sometimes a very low humming too), which I could hear through everything. No matter how loud I turned on the tv, I would be able to hear it through it. I once created my own mp3 with cicadas, water and fan noises mixed together, but after a while I started to hear the tinnitus even through that! I was jealous of people that could mask their tinnitus, since mine was always there even in my dreams/nightmares!

During that time it sounded so loud that I was worried my hearing would be damaged as well. It's amazing how strong the brain is in focussing and zooming in on a threat. There is no use in trying to measure the loudness of your tinnitus I think. Even in TRT they say it doesn't matter for habituation. And in my own experience I know that the sound was still the same, yet somehow it sounded further away, more in the background and less intrusive as I started to habituate (with ups and downs). Eventually I would notice times where I wasn't aware of it at all, it just became gradually less and less important. Like I said, with ups and downs, for a while I even had the thought that it still had negative effect on my even if I wasn't aware of it consciously for a bit. Now after habituation, it's hard for me to even find the sound in a silent room. When I do, it seems so far away, so little, so normal, so boring, that I can't keep my focus on it and I "loose" it again.

 

[Roy114]

I had a really high pitched tinnitus (and sometimes a very low humming too), which I could hear through everything. No matter how loud I turned on the tv, I would be able to hear it through it. I once created my own mp3 with cicadas, water and fan noises mixed together, but after a while I started to hear the tinnitus even through that! I was jealous of people that could mask their tinnitus, since mine was always there even in my dreams/nightmares!

During that time it sounded so loud that I was worried my hearing would be damaged as well. It's amazing how strong the brain is in focussing and zooming in on a threat. There is no use in trying to measure the loudness of your tinnitus I think. Even in TRT they say it doesn't matter for habituation. And in my own experience I know that the sound was still the same, yet somehow it sounded further away, more in the background and less intrusive as I started to habituate (with ups and downs). Eventually I would notice times where I wasn't aware of it at all, it just became gradually less and less important. Like I said, with ups and downs, for a while I even had the thought that it still had negative effect on my even if I wasn't aware of it consciously for a bit. Now after habituation, it's hard for me to even find the sound in a silent room. When I do, it seems so far away, so little, so normal, so boring, that I can't keep my focus on it and I "loose" it again.

Ah okay, thanks for your answer! I just feel skeptical when people that are unsure of how they got tinnitus in the first place habituate. It is actually possible that someone's tinnitus actually lowered in volume, instead of it only being habituation. For me its pretty clear that my tinnitus originated from loud noise exposure, accompanied with slight hearing loss, and there's for sure no way to actually decrease the volume at any point. But if its actually possible to habituate to such an extent that it seems so far away instead of being intrusive that would be amazing. I don't panic at all anymore when I hear my tinnitus so thats great but I would love to reach the same point as you some day.

 

[OneTimePoster]

Ah okay, thanks for your answer! I just feel skeptical when people that are unsure of how they got tinnitus in the first place habituate. It is actually possible that someone's tinnitus actually lowered in volume, instead of it only being habituation. For me its pretty clear that my tinnitus originated from loud noise exposure, accompanied with slight hearing loss, and there's for sure no way to actually decrease the volume at any point. But if its actually possible to habituate to such an extent that it seems so far away instead of being intrusive that would be amazing. I don't panic at all anymore when I hear my tinnitus so thats great but I would love to reach the same point as you some day.

You're already on your way! I know it can be a slow process, but I've heard many experts say that loudness and type of tinnitus doesn't matter as far as habituation goes. Take good care of yourself, you'll get out of this a lot stronger, many things you learn apply to many other difficult things in life as well.

 

[Contrast]

Today was the first day since i got T in 8 weeks that I found habit for around an hour - definitely had it and was really clear in the head - it didnt bother me at all - back to my old self - the trick is to get your head around it and say things like:

- this doesn't bother me
- Im happy with this and breath through as you say this - remember to breath
- if you find yourself in a negative spiral hit the gym or do an hour yoga - KEEP BUSY and try to understand your body and how to regulate this.
- people are SOOOO much worse off than this
- keep the sound of the ocean or rain on your phone as your doing work
- KEEP SAYING TO YOURSELF: harden the FU** UP - this is NO PITY PARTY - get on with it and stop the self indulgence!!!!

- think about other things - FOCUS on other things - if negative things come into your mind get out of there and go for a walk and breath - this is all i mdoing

People like you are literally what holds back incentive to for anyone research tinnitus to help bring us closer to a treatment.

 

[fishbone]

Today was the first day since i got T in 8 weeks that I found habit for around an hour - definitely had it and was really clear in the head - it didnt bother me at all - back to my old self - the trick is to get your head around it and say things like:

- this doesn't bother me
- Im happy with this and breath through as you say this - remember to breath
- if you find yourself in a negative spiral hit the gym or do an hour yoga - KEEP BUSY and try to understand your body and how to regulate this.
- people are SOOOO much worse off than this
- keep the sound of the ocean or rain on your phone as your doing work
- KEEP SAYING TO YOURSELF: harden the FU** UP - this is NO PITY PARTY - get on with it and stop the self indulgence!!!!

- think about other things - FOCUS on other things - if negative things come into your mind get out of there and go for a walk and breath - this is all i mdoing

Good for you. Keep up the good attitude.

 

[Steve2212]

I think i need some help - Ive had this for 5 months now but its still there - I guess im not panicking as much as before but I still get periods where i freak out and it gets me down.
Im doing mediation, yoga and gym but I still seem to be alert about the sound and thinking about it say 80-90% of the time.

Please tell me the pathway forward and what I can expect to happen. I have read that there is a stage 2 where the bran blocks this out most of the time naturally.

I guess im trying to get some reassurance here that there is hope and I will be OK - that this will eventually fade....

I have spoken to Julian Cowan Hill who is amazing and has helped be calm down but I need to know a type of time frame here that i can look forward to - i know it's different for everyone BUT I need some kind of average times - if thats possible please... I did speak to a doctor this week who told me that I was in the Acute phase of this and that may last 2 or so years....

I might add that I am on Endep 10mg for the past 4 months prescribed by my ENT.....so anyone reading this please get back to me as it would be appreciated...

 

[OneTimePoster]

I think i need some help - Ive had this for 5 months now but its still there - I guess im not panicking as much as before but I still get periods where i freak out and it gets me down.
Im doing mediation, yoga and gym but I still seem to be alert about the sound and thinking about it say 80-90% of the time.

Please tell me the pathway forward and what I can expect to happen. I have read that there is a stage 2 where the bran blocks this out most of the time naturally.

I guess im trying to get some reassurance here that there is hope and I will be OK - that this will eventually fade....

I have spoken to Julian Cowan Hill who is amazing and has helped be calm down but I need to know a type of time frame here that i can look forward to - i know it's different for everyone BUT I need some kind of average times - if thats possible please... I did speak to a doctor this week who told me that I was in the Acute phase of this and that may last 2 or so years....

I might add that I am on Endep 10mg for the past 4 months prescribed by my ENT.....so anyone reading this please get back to me as it would be appreciated...

Hi Steve,

Reading your post I can feel how you are still strongly fighting the tinnitus, which is perfectly normal. In my experience the best you can do is focus on allowing it, allow the sound, allow negative feeling, allow negative thoughts. Let them be, and let them do what they need to do. This is very hard, specially in the beginning. I read that in TRT they say that retraining the brain to not see tinnitus as a threat often takes about 2 years. This was my experience too. Be mindful that when you allow the tinnitus, feelings and thoughts, you show your brain that nothing happens to you when you do that, proving that it's not a threat. When you are fighting it, it does the opposite. Not sure what endep is, but I stopped all visits to therapists, doctors, ents and neurologists after they tested I was fine physically. This helped me greatly, since trying new therapies and visiting new doctors all the time, was in fact teaching my brain that tinnitus is a threat. And this is not what helps habituation. Still you can't do it all perfectly, and you will sometimes fall, but just keep trying to allow and habituation will be developing in the background.

Be good for yourself!

 

[Steve2212]

Dear One Time Poster - thx for getting back to me.

Im a bit confused as many people say that you should:

- not pay any attention to the T or give it any thought - try to ignore it and it will go away over it

YET you say

to embrace it and let it wash over you.....( I use this method when I meditate and deep breathe into the sound)

So if you could elaborate a bit further I would appreciate this.

Thx!

 

[JohnAdams]

considering emerging technology, habituation is potentially obsolete.

 

[Steve2212]

please explain further john - but still waiting for answer to my question..

In addition to my previous post -

Do we try to ignore T & try to tell ourselves that it's not a treat OR do we listen for it & embrace it and not treat it as a threat

OMG - this is doing my head in...

 

[threefirefour]

Did anyone else play Crash Bandicoot? That was a good game.

 

[Jazzer]

"All of the above is truly inspirational advice for those who do not have severe Tinnitus. IMNSHO"

 

[Jazzer]

I think i need some help - Ive had this for 5 months now but its still there - I guess im not panicking as much as before but I still get periods where i freak out and it gets me down.
Im doing mediation, yoga and gym but I still seem to be alert about the sound and thinking about it say 80-90% of the time.

Please tell me the pathway forward and what I can expect to happen. I have read that there is a stage 2 where the bran blocks this out most of the time naturally.

I guess im trying to get some reassurance here that there is hope and I will be OK - that this will eventually fade....

I have spoken to Julian Cowan Hill who is amazing and has helped be calm down but I need to know a type of time frame here that i can look forward to - i know it's different for everyone BUT I need some kind of average times - if thats possible please... I did speak to a doctor this week who told me that I was in the Acute phase of this and that may last 2 or so years....

I might add that I am on Endep 10mg for the past 4 months prescribed by my ENT.....so anyone reading this please get back to me as it would be appreciated...

Hi Steve

I have had loud chronic intrusive Tinnitus for over four years.
I wanted to die for at least two years.
I now cope reasonably well.
The biggest help for me was a type of meditation, where you settle down and allow yourself to listen to your 'sound,' and then practice a breathing method that will relax you - even though your noise is still there.
It becomes a habit to hear it - but instead of hating it, fighting it, loathing it, trying to run away from it - you are learning to become relaxed with it.
I can pm you my method if you like?
Best wishes
Dave x
Jazzer

 

[Steve2212]

Thx for getting back to me Jazzer......
That's exactly the type of meditation I practice

if one time poster is there I would appreciate his answer to above

ALSO:

1) many people on this forum say habituation happens naturally - my question is why are there so many people here who seem to have had this problem for so many years - in cases many over 10 years -surely by that time it would have improved....



Thx

 

[OneTimePoster]

Dear One Time Poster - thx for getting back to me.

Im a bit confused as many people say that you should:

- not pay any attention to the T or give it any thought - try to ignore it and it will go away over it

YET you say

to embrace it and let it wash over you.....( I use this method when I meditate and deep breathe into the sound)

So if you could elaborate a bit further I would appreciate this.

Thx!

You can't ignore something that your brain considers a threat, your brain will make you aware of it since that is it's job, make you aware of dangers. So the way to go is to teach the brain that it is not actually a threat, but something unimportant, something harmless. To do this, you need the confrontation with it, and not only the tinnitus, but everything that comes with it, the negative thoughts and feelings too. Don't try to avoid it all, because that teaches the brain that it is actually something bad, try to allow it and your brain will learn that it is harmless. And there is no use for the brain to make you aware of something harmless, just like it's harmless that you can see your nose all day long, yet you never see it because it is normal, harmless and unimportant. When the brain learns this about the tinnitus, it will start to leave from your awareness to the point where you can't even find it anymore. If I manage to find an internal sound in a silent rome by myself, I can't even get myself to listen to it for long because it's boring and I have other stuff to do.

 

[OneTimePoster]

Thx for getting back to me Jazzer......
That's exactly the type of meditation I practice

if one time poster is there I would appreciate his answer to above

ALSO:

1) many people on this forum say habituation happens naturally - my question is why are there so many people here who seem to have had this problem for so many years - in cases many over 10 years -surely by that time it would have improved....

Thx

I can't speak for everyone of course, but I've met people that struggle with it for years. In every one of those cases I know there were other problems as well. They were under a lot of stress, had (non tinnitus related) anxiety and depression problems. Things like that. And sometimes they seemed to not want to get better, they stayed in a very negative frame of mind, where no improvement was possible and they didn't want to work with the therapy, they just wanted a quick cure. I think it's important to use this situation to start working on yourself, on everything that doesn't work for you in your life. Work on your health, on your wellbeing, on your relationships and be kind to yourself. There will be ups and downs, but keep the right intention, and habituation will develop.

 

[Steve2212]

Im at the 6 month mark now and no real relief really - all I can says that my level of anxiety about it has dropped about 10or20%but still get anxious about it- am ion the right path -I have taken on board the advice above -

I did find however that when I was recently on holiday it went away for almost a week but now I'm back in the grind it's back again - whats this pathway ahead for me - I read so many stories here that people have had this for so so so many years with no end in sight.........what do I believe what can I look forward to with this in terms of some respite... it's now a 4 or 5 out of 10 after an hour of mediation taken from the advice above....any feeback would be great - one time poster so far your my hero and I read and reread your posts all the time.

Do I find solace in the fact tat it kind of disappeared while I was on vacation or do I treat to as false hope since it's back. Will the brain eventually tune this out as per comments made by you one time poster - I'm kinda thinking that it won't although Im really trying my hardest to not loose hope and have tough mental strength.


thx)

 

[Roy114]

Im at the 6 month mark now and no real relief really - all I can says that my level of anxiety about it has dropped about 10or20%but still get anxious about it- am ion the right path -I have taken on board the advice above -

I did find however that when I was recently on holiday it went away for almost a week but now I'm back in the grind it's back again - whats this pathway ahead for me - I read so many stories here that people have had this for so so so many years with no end in sight.........what do I believe what can I look forward to with this in terms of some respite... it's now a 4 or 5 out of 10 after an hour of mediation taken from the advice above....any feeback would be great - one time poster so far your my hero and I read and reread your posts all the time.

Do I find solace in the fact tat it kind of disappeared while I was on vacation or do I treat to as false hope since it's back. Will the brain eventually tune this out as per comments made by you one time poster - I'm kinda thinking that it won't although Im really trying my hardest to not loose hope and have tough mental strength.


thx)

I might not be the person you've asked this question to but I still wanna give my thoughts on it.

First of all, you're lucky to have a 4 or 5 out of 10. Its alot easier to habituate to then the ones some people on this website have to endure. (Obviously this doesn't take away from the discomfort or even suffering T causes). The people that don't habituate are the ones with either catastrophic tinnitus, aka 8-9-10 out of 10, most of the times combined with either mental problems or severe hyperacusis. I personally have a 7 out of 10 and I'm doing fine. It still bothers me at times but I don't feel anxious or scared anymore. I'm currently 2 years in so yeah, it can take some time.

Also the fact that it dissapeared on holiday could mean it is closely related to your stress level. For me stress doesn't change a thing but that's because mine is noise-induced, not stress-induced. You will 100% habituate, and might even find out that your T will decrease the more you get used to the sound and feel less anxious about it.

From what you said it seems like you have a bright future ahead. Just give it some time.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I might not be the person you've asked this question to but I still wanna give my thoughts on it.

First of all, you're lucky to have a 4 or 5 out of 10. Its alot easier to habituate to then the ones some people on this website have to endure. (Obviously this doesn't take away from the discomfort or even suffering T causes). The people that don't habituate are the ones with either catastrophic tinnitus, aka 8-9-10 out of 10, most of the times combined with either mental problems or severe hyperacusis. I personally have a 7 out of 10 and I'm doing fine. It still bothers me at times but I don't feel anxious or scared anymore. I'm currently 2 years in so yeah, it can take some time.

Also the fact that it dissapeared on holiday could mean it is closely related to your stress level. For me stress doesn't change a thing but that's because mine is noise-induced, not stress-induced. You will 100% habituate, and might even find out that your T will decrease the more you get used to the sound and feel less anxious about it.

From what you said it seems like you have a bright future ahead. Just give it some time.

My tinnitus is maybe a 3/4, sometimes 5 and I can't habituate. People like me, who have other mental problems will have a much harder time habituating, to anything worse then very mild tinnitus. It is impossible for some of us.

 

[Roy114]

My tinnitus is maybe a 4, sometimes 5 and I can't habituate. People like me, who have other mental problems will have a much harder time habituating, to anything worse then very mild tinnitus. It is impossible for some of us.

That issue probably lies mostly with the mental problems and not the tinnitus, which is none of my business to ask about, so I wont. But if its anything fixable then your focus should be with those problems, tinnitus after.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

That issue probably lies mostly with the mental problems and not the tinnitus, which is none of my business to ask about, so I wont. But if its anything fixable then your focus should be with those problems, tinnitus after.

It is not 100% fixable, only partially.

And because of that I will probably always feel bothered by T to some extend, although I am doing somewhat better now then I was those first many months.

 

[OneTimePoster]

@Steve2212 What you experienced during vacation is a taste of things to come. This experience has been teaching the brain that tinnitus isn't the threat that it thinks it is. The next step is to also experience this during less calm times. Keep allowing your feelings, thoughts and sensations (also the tinnitus itself), know that this will not always be easy, know that you will sometimes fail in not judging, wanting it to just be gone or feeling despaired, it is all part of the way. Your body knows what it's doing, let it show you what it wants to show you, try to view it as a good thing. The experience in your vacation was a big win which is in the pocket. You will get to the next wins too. It's a very non-linear process with many ups and downs. But every time you are able to stop fighting yourself in this will progress your habituation (that is probably also happening by itself in the background). The timeframe is different for different people. I wrote down all the tips I could from my experience in my story, I hope they help you in this. Like I wrote, I felt pretty hopeless at times even after 1,5 years, sometimes truly feeling asif I wan't habituating at all, asif I was kidding myself and ansif it would never get better. These thoughts can feel so very real, but they are just thoughts. You are well on your way to recovery, keep going and discover your true strength.

 

[OneTimePoster]

@Roy114 Two different audiologists from the TRT based therapy I was in, plus TRT talk from audiologists online said that the volume or type of the tinnitus sound doesn't matter for habituation. And I believe that is true. My sound was extremely high pitched, felt painful, was unmaskable (would hear it trough everything after some time) and reactive in that it sounded louder with other sounds (like tv). Still I eventually got to the point where the sound is there somewhere internal, but it is gone from my awareness unless I actively work at finding it in a silent room. And even if I am able to find it, I just loose it again because it's just so useless and unimportant to listen to it and my brain get's distracted by more important things, like the color of the ceiling or something. But trust me that I KNOW, this sounds impossible, I experienced the despair too for a long time. I thought only suffering was left in my life, but I learned that the brain is powerful enough to get past this. I hope you will get there too!

@TheDanishGirl I believe mental problems can get in the way of habituation, this is why it's so important to get help for those. When going through this, it's the perfect time to start working on yourself. But remember to give yourself the time, and be kind to yourself, because you are in a very difficult place in which you just can't take everything on at once. I wish you all the best on your way and hope you find your way out of this as best as possible.