Sorry for bothering you good people all over again, but I need advice from MPP members once again. I am really close to suicide today and considering doing it fast so I think it's a good time to write to you all a message. My situation just keeps getting worse. My sister lied and slandered me to my other sister who lives in London to the point I don't know if my other sister and her kids will want to have anything to do with me. Also, my sisters' kids have written me horrible messages calling me a pig, a fat loser and similar insults. Also, my mother was not only verbally saying that she wished I would die, but has used physical violence against me. What to do in this situation, my mother lives in the same house as I do so I can't get away from it or escape especially now that I am financially dependent on her. I can and have separated from my sister, but it doesn't seem to be enough since she continues to mock and terrorize me.
I honestly just don't see any other way out of my situation, but suicide. I never thought that at my darkest hour of need then I am in the weakest position I ever been in my family would treat me this way it's just so cruel and inhumane. I used to be a happy, confident, healthy and strong person then I was all of that my family at least respected me a little as a person and as a provider that gives them income, now that I am a broken shell of my former self unemployed and living on disability all of that seems to be gone.
As far as my hearing problems go my hyperacusis is entirely gone for some time now so that is not a big problem for me. My tinnitus has gone from moderate to mild in the last few years so I can live with it. But my hidden hearing loss (cochlear synaptopathy) is just horrible, I can't hear anything then there is background noise, music sounds distorted, I can't hear the dialog on my favorite TV shows and movies, I barely hear a person sitting next to me in a silent room so basically I can't function like a normal person add a psychological problems of mine and yes I am suffering and having a hard time.
News about my NR experiment it does seem to somewhat help my tinnitus and makes it, even more, milder, I now only hear it at night in complete silence but I see no improvement in my hearing so far maybe it's still too early for any effect to take place since most of the forum that did get improvement from it said that they took it at least a month.
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