I was in the studio with my band in the December 2014. I play guitar. Music is my life, I would say. The most important thing in my life, that has safed me from many miseries. We were recording our second album and it took altogether five days. Our setup was to record in sort of "live" set up: we were recording drums, bass and guitar all in the same time. The monitoring was done by earphones. I was using AKG k240 headphones that I brought in the studio from my home. So when we were recording, I was listening all the other instruments and also my own guitar via headphones. The recording sessions went very nicely and I was thinking that we are making a super good album of music. We finished the recording in the Sunday evening, a week before Christmas.
I went back to home and I was super tired. I slept very well and felt very normal. In the Tuesday morning (I think) I noticed the sound of tinnitus first time when I was studying (at that time I was studying in the entrance examination of dentistry). The sound was in the beginning very quiet. In the first time I just ignored it and I continued to do my things I usually do. I remember I went to gym in the same evening and I listened some podcasts from my mp3-player. In the gym could here a tiny whisper of T in my head. When I got back to home from the gym, the tinnitus sound started bother me. Suddenly the tinnitus was everywhere and the only thing in my mind. I could sleep the next night normally somehow. In the next morning I was starting to google about T. The information was horrible: Once you got it the only thing you can do is to learn live with it.
I went to doctor in the Wednesday. She was ENT specialist and she prescribed cortison tablets and betaserc. I was hoping that those drugs would help. The doctor also sent me to a hearing test. If I remember correctly there was some hearing loss in the upper frequencies of the left ear (which later revert to normal). I understood that I got some noise-induced trauma from the headphones in the recording process. I was angry to myself to let that happen. I was heard about the tinnitus and I was always been very careful with hearing protection. Now I got the T from the motherfucking headphones. I also noticed that AKG k240 headphones are not soundproof, so the drum noises were coming right in to my ears.
I had also red that T could go away in a week or two. In one discussion forum somebody wrote that, if in three weeks the T has not gone, it is better start to be prepared to live with it. After these words I was really panicking. I was counting days to reach the three-week mark. I tried everything in the first week. I went to swimming hall to swim to get some background noise from the waves to mask the T. I went to massage because I was thinking it was my tight shoulders that are causing the T. I tried to relax as much possible. Suddenly world was collapsing.
Nothing helped and the sound was becoming louder. The T was the only thing I could think. I was hearing it all the time.
In the Christmas (afeter week of the onset) I went with my family (wife, my two kids, my dad-in-law, mother-in-law and brother-in-law) to our cottage. It is located in a very small town (in Finland). In the cottage I was having my first panic attacks. I just lost my mind. I was crying openly and I remember thinking killing my self because I couldn't stand the situation. We went to the local doctor and he prescribed some benzos for me (I cannot remember which). I think those helped me to carry on over the Christmas holidays. But still the only thing in my mind was the T.
After Christmas I was having difficulties to sleep. I was habituated to sleep with earplugs on since I was 19 years old. So now I needed to learn to sleep without earplugs, because the earplugs made the T very loud. I was getting really mad. In the New Year evening I was trying set up some sort of "sound room" in our basement where radio was on all the time. I was committed to spent rest of my life in that room with the radio on to mask the sound of T. In some point my wife and mother in-law sent me to see a psychiatrist. The psychirst precribed me escitalopram (SSRI) and also setup regular meetings (once in the week in the beginning).
So three-week mark came, the T was still there and loud as hell. The T was here to stay.
I was talking all the time about the T. After while I noticed that almost all my friends in the music scene have it also! So I got very good advices from them. They said that it would get quieter over time. This message was very hard to believe in the first place.
I also got a new job which helped me not to focus in my T. I remember that in the early days, when I got back home from my job, I was lying on my sofa, listening the T and going to read tinnitus-talk success stories in every time when I was feeling depressed. The success stories helped me a lot and that is the reason why I am writing this now (in nov 2017).
Suddenly life started to get back on rails. The T was all the time there. Some times very loud, but it was actually getting quieter. For example, after jogging/ running the T was quite loud. Also in the silent rooms the T could be very loud. I learned about the habituation and tinnitus relearning therapy (TRT). In the morning, when you put your pants/trousers on, first you feel them, but after while you don't feel them. This is actually what happens when you habituate. The habituation process for T is quite long. For me it took months. After six months of the onset I remember hearing it. But it was getting quitter. In some point remember thinking: I have T, but that's ok. I can hear it, but I am not listening to it." It was just like my pants. I feel them if I want, but there is nothing interesting to feel them.
I quit the escitalopram medication after six months of using. I also started to sleep with my earplugs on, maybe after one months of the onset of the T.
In the October 2015, almost year after the onset of the T, I had almost forgotten I have T. We went for a short holiday in the Lapland and it was very nice trip. I one evening I walked alone over a mountain to see northern lights (witch were very bright at that night). On the top of the mountain it was very dark and the northern lights were very close (you could almost touch them). It was very silent on the top on the mountain and suddenly I started to hear the T again. It was very loud and I started panic in the darkness. I decided to run back to the cottage, where we were staying. That was a very scary moment and realized that very silent places are not for me. However, after coming back to the cottage, I went to sauna to relax, took couple of beers and everything was fine again. I could hear my T, but I was not listening it.
The second year went and was hearing my T less and less. In some point I think lost it, I am not sure. However, a week ago I was rehearsing with my second band for a gig. In that band I play flute and guitar. We are having an "acoustic" performance in which I am playing alto flute, our bass player is playing double bass, drummer is playing with brushes and so on. The sound level should be quieter, so I decided to not use earplugs in our rehearsal (I normally use Elacin molded earplugs). In rehearsals, I was thinking maybe the sound level is too loud, but I was too busy to play my flute and guitar to but earplugs on. So in the next day the T was very loud and I was thinking that "ok. Here we are again. In the beginning.". I could again here the T everywhere. I could here it when I was driving my car. So it was very loud. I came back to this forum to read the success stories. Reading of them really helps me.
Now after a week of the spike, the T has settled down. I just stopped to listening it again. I think I can habituate much faster, because I know how to do that. Actually, I now feel normal again, because the T is there. This is how I have always felt. However, I will never ever play again music in gig or rehearsal place without earplugs. I will not risk anything.
This text is for you, who are having bad time with T. I survived and learned to not listen it. The experience also made me a much stronger person.
Seek help if needed. Don't stay alone. Time will heal you. It healed me.
All the best
Mikko
I went back to home and I was super tired. I slept very well and felt very normal. In the Tuesday morning (I think) I noticed the sound of tinnitus first time when I was studying (at that time I was studying in the entrance examination of dentistry). The sound was in the beginning very quiet. In the first time I just ignored it and I continued to do my things I usually do. I remember I went to gym in the same evening and I listened some podcasts from my mp3-player. In the gym could here a tiny whisper of T in my head. When I got back to home from the gym, the tinnitus sound started bother me. Suddenly the tinnitus was everywhere and the only thing in my mind. I could sleep the next night normally somehow. In the next morning I was starting to google about T. The information was horrible: Once you got it the only thing you can do is to learn live with it.
I went to doctor in the Wednesday. She was ENT specialist and she prescribed cortison tablets and betaserc. I was hoping that those drugs would help. The doctor also sent me to a hearing test. If I remember correctly there was some hearing loss in the upper frequencies of the left ear (which later revert to normal). I understood that I got some noise-induced trauma from the headphones in the recording process. I was angry to myself to let that happen. I was heard about the tinnitus and I was always been very careful with hearing protection. Now I got the T from the motherfucking headphones. I also noticed that AKG k240 headphones are not soundproof, so the drum noises were coming right in to my ears.
I had also red that T could go away in a week or two. In one discussion forum somebody wrote that, if in three weeks the T has not gone, it is better start to be prepared to live with it. After these words I was really panicking. I was counting days to reach the three-week mark. I tried everything in the first week. I went to swimming hall to swim to get some background noise from the waves to mask the T. I went to massage because I was thinking it was my tight shoulders that are causing the T. I tried to relax as much possible. Suddenly world was collapsing.
Nothing helped and the sound was becoming louder. The T was the only thing I could think. I was hearing it all the time.
In the Christmas (afeter week of the onset) I went with my family (wife, my two kids, my dad-in-law, mother-in-law and brother-in-law) to our cottage. It is located in a very small town (in Finland). In the cottage I was having my first panic attacks. I just lost my mind. I was crying openly and I remember thinking killing my self because I couldn't stand the situation. We went to the local doctor and he prescribed some benzos for me (I cannot remember which). I think those helped me to carry on over the Christmas holidays. But still the only thing in my mind was the T.
After Christmas I was having difficulties to sleep. I was habituated to sleep with earplugs on since I was 19 years old. So now I needed to learn to sleep without earplugs, because the earplugs made the T very loud. I was getting really mad. In the New Year evening I was trying set up some sort of "sound room" in our basement where radio was on all the time. I was committed to spent rest of my life in that room with the radio on to mask the sound of T. In some point my wife and mother in-law sent me to see a psychiatrist. The psychirst precribed me escitalopram (SSRI) and also setup regular meetings (once in the week in the beginning).
So three-week mark came, the T was still there and loud as hell. The T was here to stay.
I was talking all the time about the T. After while I noticed that almost all my friends in the music scene have it also! So I got very good advices from them. They said that it would get quieter over time. This message was very hard to believe in the first place.
I also got a new job which helped me not to focus in my T. I remember that in the early days, when I got back home from my job, I was lying on my sofa, listening the T and going to read tinnitus-talk success stories in every time when I was feeling depressed. The success stories helped me a lot and that is the reason why I am writing this now (in nov 2017).
Suddenly life started to get back on rails. The T was all the time there. Some times very loud, but it was actually getting quieter. For example, after jogging/ running the T was quite loud. Also in the silent rooms the T could be very loud. I learned about the habituation and tinnitus relearning therapy (TRT). In the morning, when you put your pants/trousers on, first you feel them, but after while you don't feel them. This is actually what happens when you habituate. The habituation process for T is quite long. For me it took months. After six months of the onset I remember hearing it. But it was getting quitter. In some point remember thinking: I have T, but that's ok. I can hear it, but I am not listening to it." It was just like my pants. I feel them if I want, but there is nothing interesting to feel them.
I quit the escitalopram medication after six months of using. I also started to sleep with my earplugs on, maybe after one months of the onset of the T.
In the October 2015, almost year after the onset of the T, I had almost forgotten I have T. We went for a short holiday in the Lapland and it was very nice trip. I one evening I walked alone over a mountain to see northern lights (witch were very bright at that night). On the top of the mountain it was very dark and the northern lights were very close (you could almost touch them). It was very silent on the top on the mountain and suddenly I started to hear the T again. It was very loud and I started panic in the darkness. I decided to run back to the cottage, where we were staying. That was a very scary moment and realized that very silent places are not for me. However, after coming back to the cottage, I went to sauna to relax, took couple of beers and everything was fine again. I could hear my T, but I was not listening it.
The second year went and was hearing my T less and less. In some point I think lost it, I am not sure. However, a week ago I was rehearsing with my second band for a gig. In that band I play flute and guitar. We are having an "acoustic" performance in which I am playing alto flute, our bass player is playing double bass, drummer is playing with brushes and so on. The sound level should be quieter, so I decided to not use earplugs in our rehearsal (I normally use Elacin molded earplugs). In rehearsals, I was thinking maybe the sound level is too loud, but I was too busy to play my flute and guitar to but earplugs on. So in the next day the T was very loud and I was thinking that "ok. Here we are again. In the beginning.". I could again here the T everywhere. I could here it when I was driving my car. So it was very loud. I came back to this forum to read the success stories. Reading of them really helps me.
Now after a week of the spike, the T has settled down. I just stopped to listening it again. I think I can habituate much faster, because I know how to do that. Actually, I now feel normal again, because the T is there. This is how I have always felt. However, I will never ever play again music in gig or rehearsal place without earplugs. I will not risk anything.
This text is for you, who are having bad time with T. I survived and learned to not listen it. The experience also made me a much stronger person.
Seek help if needed. Don't stay alone. Time will heal you. It healed me.
All the best
Mikko
Member
