My Story — Tinnitus Faded After 2 Months, However I Messed Up Again...

[Walker123]

Hi,

Still doing well. Tinnitus is "growing on me".
It took me more than 2 years to get used to it. I think "getting used to it" includes things like:
- the initial shock of getting tinnitus
- "mourn" or psychologcally process or deal with the situation
- "waiting" about 3 months to see how much it heals
- learning to recognize the volume differences and bad days and good days
- learning how to ignore tinnitus

I think most of these things happen automatically. Of course support of family and friends and taking care of yourself helps the process a lot.

Also I think the severity of your tinnitus makes a difference. I used to think mine was severe. But now I don't know anymore. The sound seems the same. And especially after daytime naps it's very loud when I wake up. Those spikes used to scare me, but not anymore. After 2 minutes my brain remembers that it's not important and then I forget about it. On bad days it comes to my mind more often, but every time no more than 2 minutes.

When I feel bad about something else in my life, my tinnitus seems to bother me more. But now I am aware of that, I am used to that as well and now even then it doesn't bother me that much anymore.

Back in the beginning days of my tinnitus, I remember myself thinking: "there is no way I can live like this". And look where we are now

By the way:
In the beginning I tried masking the sound etc. But I stopped doing that after a year or so. I figured I had to get used to it anyway. I even don't mind sleeping with my ear on the pillow. Tinnitus seems very loud then, but only because you're focussing on it. That's what we all do in the beginning: hyper-focussing on tinnitus until it consumes every bit of attention in your life and turns you into a zombie. But those days are over Unless it gets worse of course. But I am not going to worry about that. I am glad I can enjoy my life now again and I will do that

 

[InNeedOfHelp]

Thanks for your updates on the way. Hundreds of people will find your topic through Google etc, most stories are open ended and people disappear. Here we can actually see someone grow into pitfalls and habitation.

Bedankt en veel sterkte. Ook ik hoop ooit vrede met de geluiden te vinden.

 

[Walker123]

Hi, I'll be short. Tinnitus is still the same. Most of the time I don't even think about it. At the moment it's quite loud but I know that within 2 minutes I'll forget about it again. Even when I'm reading a book in ambient silence

 

[Javimaltes]

Even when I'm reading a book in ambient silence

This is great, Walker123. It is what my friends with tinnitus say. They do not notice tinnitus if they don't focus on it, despite that they can hear it almost everywhere.

Have you written a success story already? I think it will be very helpful for all people on this forum, taking into account that you have high pitched tinnitus.

Best regards.

 

[Walker123]

This is great, Walker123. It is what my friends with tinnitus say. They do not notice tinnitus if they don't focus on it, despite that they can hear it almost everywhere.

Have you written a success story already? I think it will be very helpful for all people on this forum, taking into account that you have high pitched tinnitus.

Best regards.

I feel that a success story is definite. Life with tinnitus is an ongoing process, because the ears are damaged and stay vulnerable.

Last Monday I had a noise incident. I was the first person to arrive at work, so I had to deactivate the alarm system.

And now you probably know what I am going to say: I typed in the wrong code and the siren starts right in front of my face. I could have never predicted that that was going to happen!

I was exposed for about 1 second, because I immediately covered my ears and ran away. But that one second was insanely loud!

Of course the first thing I did was checking my tinnitus. I was trying to monitor if it had became louder or not. I didn't really notice much difference. But my tinnitus was already loud since the beginning of that day.

I fell into a mental trap: started to monitor and focus on it. Also because the last worsening of my tinnitus only happened a full day after the noise incident. So now I have been focussing on my tinnitus for 3 days and I don't think the alarm made it worse. But I already had loud tinnitus before the alarm, but I do have days where it's less intense and where I get some "breathing room" of course I am worried now that my tinnitus did become marginally louder and maybe due to the new damage I get less good days.

As you can read this event has sent me back mentally a bit even though the damage may not even be there. The trap I fell in is that I started to focus on it again.

If everything goes well, I just need time to wrap my head around it again and get back to my normal self. At home I am also behaving a bit like a zombie because I am thinking about it too much. But I will probably be okay and back to my old self in a week or two.

I'll keep you informed.

So this is why I don't write a success story yet.

 

[Sammy0225]

As you can read this event has sent me back mentally a bit even though the damage may not even be there. The trap I fell in is that I started to focus on it again.

Very hopeful that you will go back to ignoring your tinnitus again. You've done a great job and I appreciate the updates for all of us.

 

[Walker123]

Very hopeful that you will go back to ignoring your tinnitus again. You've done a great job and I appreciate the updates for all of us.

Thanks a lot for your support! It means a lot.

Last night I woke up at 1:30 am and couldn't sleep because the tinnitus made me anxious. I was trying to calm down but I didn't really succeed. I am afraid that maybe my tinnitus might be getting louder in small increments. I can't really remember if it was like this before. It could have been. I could just be paranoid because of the alarm and the "spike".

The past few months I was leading quite a normal life. Not really minding my tinnitus. I did go to some loudish events (cinema and sports gala with earplugs). But I didn't think of it anymore. Of course sometimes I did think about it especially when I woke up with loud tinnitus, but I was able to ignore it most of the time.

I had a steady pattern of loud tinnitus and mild/moderate tinnitus. I was used to it. So much that I stopped keeping track of how many loud days and how many mild days there were.

Now I am starting to wonder. Has my pattern been worsening without me noticing it? I hope this is not the case. This thought makes me anxious. For now I think I'm just paranoid and there is indeed good hope for me going back to ignoring it.

I guess I just have to give it time.

I'll post here again in a few weeks.

 

[Orba]

Thank you for the updates. Interesting to get the information over a longer period of time!

 

[Walker123]

Hi all.

I still have the spike since the alarm incident 5 days ago. I keep on wondering how 1 second of sound can have such an impact. But I don't go there anymore with my thoughts. It doesn't help.

Thursday night the tinnitus was a bit less intense and I was able to sleep well.

Last night my tinnitus was louder than normal again and I kept on waking up every hour with eeeee and the high static.

My other tones are aggravated as well. I also had 2 tones in my better ear, which used to be barely audible even during the night, but now they are more clearly present. But only when it's quiet. I don't mind those tones so much, but the fact that everything became louder and aggravated annoys me.

Today my spike is still ongoing, but for some reason I am not in panic mode anymore. That's because I have hope that things will resolve itself one way or another. So now my mood is stable, but not very pleasant. I am not panicking but annoyed with the sound and a little anxious about the future.

I am motivated to work on recovery. I will start exercising again and eat healthier and quit alcohol altogether. I wasn't a heavy drinker, but I notice it's just not good.

I'll come back with more updates later.

 

[Walker123]

Yesterday and today have been better.

 

[Jupiterman]

Yesterday and today have been better.

In terms of coping or spike reducing?

 

[Walker123]

The spike is reducing and yesterday and today my tinnitus was at its normal level most of the time. I am optimistic but I don't dare to celebrate just yet.

I'll keep you informed.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all,

Since my last post I had some ups and downs, but yesterday it felt as if the spike was finally over. I couldn't hear my tinnitus over noise anymore. It was a bit calmer in my ears again and I felt quite normal again.

Until last night, when I got angry about something and I smashed the door closed with a loud bang!

Immediately I realized how stupid I was and started checking my ears again. My tinnitus slowly started getting louder again and I slept bad because of it.

I don't actually know If I am doing this to myself by stressing out or if the actual sound of the door is the cause.

Today I tried to take care of myself and walked around with my dog in the forest a bit. I took a shower and now I am trying to watch a movie on the couch with my loud spike. I am stressed and feel like shit. Now I must grab together all my hope again and wait until things get better again.

I'm sorry I am not the bringer of good news now. I'll keep you up to date.

 

[Jupiterman]

That is such a shame; one noise exposure after another!

Have you considered wearing filtered earplugs for a while?

 

[KoolKat]

I hate to be a killjoy but until we have a treatment or cure, I wouldn't dare rely on tinnitus truly going away.

I know a guy who had it back in the late 90s for a few months, then it went away, then 20 years later it came back in full force, permanently.

We need to end this nonsense for good. Everyday we live on edge because we never know what tomorrow brings.

 

[Walker123]

That is such a shame; one noise exposure after another!

Have you considered wearing filtered earplugs for a while?

Yes, I always have filtered earplugs on me. I put them in now whenever I think the noise around me is too much. Even if it's only for peace of mind.

This night my tinnitus was still loud but I was able to sleep.

Everyday we live on edge because we never know what tomorrow brings.

Indeed: we never know. All we can do is be careful. I think I stop posting now for at least a few weeks until I know more which way things develop with me.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all. An update follows.

Unfortunately my anxiety kept on ramping up. I don't know if that's because my tinnitus is louder or if my tinnitus is louder because of the anxiety.

On top of that I got a new tone added to the mix. A soft but solid 4000 Hz eee. This new tone is not there most of the time but sometimes it suddenly starts and then keeps on for a few hours and then disappears again.

After having a bad day and night on Wednesday focussing on my tinnitus and being in a state of panic, I decided to force myself not to monitor it anymore.

Yesterday was one of those days where my high pitched hiss was softer so I felt a bit of hope. But even so, I forced myself to keep busy and focus on other things.

In the evening I was watching TV with my wife and noticed that I was doing ok-ish.

And then when I thought I was on the way of making progress, the new sound started singing in my head! I was in shock but didn't want to spoil my wife's state of mind because she also suffers when I am a wreck. So I tried to carry on watching TV as if nothing happened.

That night the tone disappeared again after about 2 hours.

I went to bed at 10 pm and woke up at 2 am with the tone back singing in my head. I decided to not panic and fell back a sleep with the tone following me in my dreams. waking up a few times still hearing it.

In the morning at 8 am I woke up. Without the new tone. With my regular tinnitus.

I am not in a panic mode but I feel a bit depressed. My mood is a 4 out of 10.

A month ago I would have jumped out of bed and baked some eggs for my family and be cheerful and start the day.

Now I can still function but it's difficult not to drag my wife down with my mood. She already had to put up with so much during the first two times when my tinnitus started and got worse.

I hope things will get better soon.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all,

My tinnitus became less intrusive the past 3 days. I think now it's at about the level where it was before the alarm incident.

Also, I haven't heard the new tone in 2 days anymore. I feel much better, but I am still a bit shaken up from all the anxiety I went through in the past 3 weeks.

I will keep you informed.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all. I'm doing fine

I typed a whole story but long story short: my spike lasted one month (with ups and downs).

Being scared and depressed is all right. Just keep on taking good care of yourself and be nice to yourself and you'll get better again.

 

[Ken219]

I know a guy who had it back in the late 90s for a few months, then it went away, then 20 years later it came back in full force, permanently.

What was their lifestyle for the last 20 years? If they were exposed to loud noise, it will get worse.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all, quick update.

This month I had some good days but also a lot of bad days. After the alarm incident I feared the worse and went back into the old anxiety and panic pattern.

In hindsight I could not have prevented it. I had to gain confidence that my noises didn't increase and if they did, I needed to get familiar with the new nature of the tinnitus.

The tinnitus has changed a very small bit. The left ear has a 4000 Hz tone. An annoying tone but very soft. Sometimes not even audible. But it can ramp up a bit and play together with the 5000 Hz sound in my right ear. Now I'm familiar with that, it doesn't worry me that much anymore. My main tinnitus is still the ultra high-pitched 15 kHz hiss. This one still comes and goes.

Overall nothing seems to have changed much.

The only thing that began to change is that I got anxious about it again. And that caused my ass to be unhabituated.

At the moment I am struggling to re-habituate. But I know it's possible because I was happy most of 2022, even when listening to my tinnitus. Now I don't know how that was even possible.

I guess that even after 3 years with this, we still learn. There is nothing that I could have done better because of course we don't want it to get worse, and we do get anxious after a noise incident.

I will keep you updated.

 

[Walker123]

Hi all, another update.

Unfortunately, after 3 days of poor sleep, I wasn't able to control my anxiety. Because of the stress, all my symptoms seem amplified and I often wake up in the middle of the night.

So now I got burned out or whatever you call it. I had to stop working for now. From my perspective, it's difficult to stay positive now. I am taking it day by day.

I'll keep you updated when something changes.

 

[Walker123]

Hi, another update,

After last post I spiralled down into the anxiety which made my tinnitus worse. I had new, loud sounds.

I went into full run fight-or-flight mode and had to relive the whole process which I had in the beginning over again. I had sleepless nights, lost weight and everything.
I don't feel like writing all the details here.

Good news is that now things are getting back to normal again. The anxiety is gone and my brain starts to ignore it again. All the scary new sounds which got really loud also went down. I do have a new sound, which also was loud, but it went down in volume.

Two weeks ago I thought that this was never going to end. But then for some reason I was done analyzing the tinnitus and started to ignore it or something. Hard to explain. But now I feel pretty close to normal again.

 

[Stayinghopeful]

Good to hear you're feeling normal again.

Out of curiosity, you mention anxiety a lot. Do you take any meds to help manage the anxiety?

 

[Walker123]

Good to hear you're feeling normal again.

Out of curiosity, you mention anxiety a lot. Do you take any meds to help manage the anxiety?

Hi @Stayinghopeful,

No I don't take any meds, because:

• A lot of people seem to have worse tinnitus coming off the meds
• I have nose obstruction so if I take sleep meds, I may not wake up in time if I'm out of my breath
• Thinking of possible side effects also makes me anxious
• Being anxious is to be expected if you get a tinnitus spike