My Story Revisited: I'm Convinced I Never Had Acoustic Trauma, After All

Blodorn

Member
Author
Jun 21, 2019
66
29
France
Tinnitus Since
06/2019
Cause of Tinnitus
Unknown
Hello!

I need to write my thoughts guys. It's nice therapy!
Thank you for reading me! And sorry for my English. Did my best to not make too much mistakes. I don't write enough in English! But it is a good training haha!

My original story: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hi-everyone-here-comes-a-french-fellow.35396/

So long story short, my tinnitus appeared after a train noise hurt my ears. At least that's what I thought!

Firstly, I decided to find the noise I was exposed to, I found it:



This noise scared me so much. It occurred only once for 1 second. How the hell could this noise have damaged my ears? When I read about acoustic trauma stories, like gunshot close to the ear, or crazy loud concert, mine seemed ridiculous. 1 second exposure of this hissing sound at 5 meter from me? Dangerous? Even a dog bark is louder, seriously.

Yes it hurt, because I was hypersensitive to any external sound, I was afraid of being
schizophrenic and hearing hallucinations so I was listening to all kinds of sound at that moment. (Don't judge me, If you knew how pathetic I was 2 months ago mentally, I laugh when I think about it.) I could have heard a fly 20 meters from me haha. I was in an extreme state of anxiety because of my hypochondria, I was shaking, hypervigilant, My vision was reactive to any movement, my ears reactive to any voices, any sound. All my senses were at 200%.

So I was sitting at the train platform, and this noise came about. My ears reacted and I freaked out at the same time.

The tinnitus appeared 5 hours after the noise. When I learned that acoustic trauma was the main reason for one acquiring tinnitus, I thought that was the cause of my tinnitus, as well.

I think I was wrong.


Here are some facts I have noticed since June 3rd that makes me think I never had any acoustic trauma:

-The noise came from my left, 5 meters from me. Tinnitus first appeared in my right ear only. It became bilateral and also appeared in my head when I discovered this forum.

Absolutely no post pseudo-trauma symptoms except for the ringing in my right ear. (No fullness, no pain, no hearing loss, NOTHING. My ears were asymptomatic except the tinnitus). Symptoms appeared with hyperacusis.

I got hyperacusis when I read about it. Never had it before I found this forum. Probably psychological, thanks to my hypochondria. It left me when my girlfriend told me it was in my head, well, it was!

-But my hyperacusis comes back when I hear a sudden loud noise (last one was my friend who yelled out of nowhere, stress/anxiety spike ==> psychological hyperacusis, which disappeared the next day.)

-Never had any noise related tinnitus spike, NEVER. My tinnitus does whatever it want, when it wants. Each time I hear a loud noise since my tinnitus appeared (louder than the train noise) it only causes me anxiety because of the fear of getting a spike. Never got a tinnitus spike, only psychological hyperacusis.

-My tinnitus has gotten worse when I discovered this forum. Not your fault haha. My unilateral tinnitus has become bilateral, in my head, new tones, hyperacusis, distortions. All of these appeared when I found this forum. I highly think you can psychologically worsen your tinnitus when you read horror stories AND you are mentally weak.

-I smoke 20+ cigarettes a day, drink 5+ cups of coffee a day, a lot of soda, I have anxiety sometimes. Sometimes I don't sleep for 24+hours. Nothing spikes my tinnitus.

-I continued using headphones for one month after the onset. I was ignorant about the danger of headphones. Never used them loud anyway. And I didn't use them for music, I don't like music. Nothing happened. I will not try my luck however.

-No 0-8 kHz hearing loss.

-Never went to a concert or club in my whole life.

-Since my mental state is getting better, so is my tinnitus!


Here are the facts that makes me think it could be TMJ related (but not only!):

-I suffer from a mild dysphagia (trouble swallowing and chewing) since May. Tinnitus appeared 03/06.

- I hear a click in my right ear when I push my jaw forward. Sometimes I hear the clicks when I speak. I have had these symptoms since the onset.

-I can modulate the tinnitus with my jaw and my neck. It is my only way to influence the tinnitus.


So yeah, I'm convinced I never had any acoustic trauma. I think EXTREME anxiety and mental illness can trigger tinnitus. Believe me, I was a mess.

Now I feel better. I'm mentally stronger. Tinnitus cured me from my hypochondria because when you have tinnitus, you don't care of everything else haha. It cured my phagophobia (afraid of swallowing/choking), because, again, when you have tinnitus, you don't care of anything going bad, you live your life fully.

So in a way, tinnitus was a blessing in my life.
And now that I'm healthier, and I can think clearly about what caused my tinnitus, I know it is unlikely that the train noise caused it in the first place.


Take care everyone :)
 

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