yeah Bill, that stuff got funny indeed, I don't even feel angry anymore when I hear it.
let me rant about it for a while, though...let's pick another of these very effective solutions:
''You will filter it out of your life''
So why isn't everybody doing these things? Aren't the people who aren't 'forgetting about it', 'strong enough' ?
All empty words, my friends. The reality is that the majority of people here, have two balls of the size of ther gran canyon.
If that if you are doing as well as you say, your problem is minor. For the rest of us it's a different story. I still struggle to understand why people believe that weak tinnitus is the same as loud tinnitus, or that not getting spikes is the same as getting them, or that a nasty hiss is the same as a low rumble, or that tinnitus with hyperacusis is just the same as without.
It's like saying that getting a bruise is the same as breaking my leg, which is the same as getting run over by a truck.
I also think that many other things make a GIGANTIC difference about how bad you feel about it.
Let's pick three people with tinnitus:
1 has minor tinnitus. He/she has a partner. Or family, friends, or a combination of these. In other words, they aren't alone.
2 has loud tinnitus, he/she is socially isolated. For whatever reasons. Drugs, family matters, etc.
3 has loud tinnitus. He/she has a partner. Or family, friends, or a combination of these. In other words, they aren't alone.
4 has loud tinnitus and hyperacusis. The other 3 people don't have hyperacusis. Which means, person 4 is more influenced by how much noise there is around them. That's why they avoid going out. Which will lead to more isolation, whether or not they have a partner, etc.
Do you think that the life of these 4 is subjective? That 3 would fare as well as 1, or that 2 would fare as well as 3?
Now, these are four -very generic- and basic examples.
Now start multiplying all the innumerable variants of how their lives revolves....since every life is unique, and can never be exactly the same as another.
Now you have a multitude of cases where tinnitus affects everything in their lives, and vice versa, since NO PROBLEM is ever isolated.
This is really difficult to explain. It's one thing I think most doctors and psychologists just don't get.
They see 'tinnitus' as an isolated problem that doesn't affect really anything. Just some noise, right?
But it robs you of your peace of mind. This is one of the greatest gifts of life.
So if you are able to 'just not think about it', it means the loudness of your tinnitus is lower, and you live in an environment more conducive to you 'just forgetting it'.
But what about all the rest?
Let me make another example.....I had a couple of truly horrible nights, some months ago. I was pacing the room in the dark, like a madman.
Then I have read of a woman who went through a very similar night: pacing the room in desperation (something to be avoided at all cost, really). But she has a partner.
Who do you think gets it worse. I am not blaming anyone for any of my trouble or things missing in my life, really. I am not bitching about them, I am a grown man and I am very used to solitude. It never bothered me at all, I even LIKED it. I have never been short on things to do.
But these two nights I really felt desperate, and I have been in several desperate situations, for example being homeless in the middle of the winter, with nowhere to go. Again, I don't say this stuff to appear cool or anything, but I think they illustrate my points with facts rather than theories (and theories are never as good as facts).
I still remember 20 years ago. It was 4 in the morning, I was walking in the snow. I had no money, I didn't know anybody, I didn't speak the language. I really had NOWHERE to go.
A truly worrying situation, right?
Man, that was NOTHING. I remember I would wake up in the morning , in the park. I even liked it. I felt at peace. I loved the peaceful city nights. I felt as good as a fish.
Been living without electricity, in the winter. That was a JOKE. No big deal at all.
Smashed my front teeth. They grew again.
Once I was getting bullied by someone. Everytime I would pass them by, they would make fun of me. A gang of guys. One night I decided I had enough. I went back, I went straight to their leader, and asked him (very impolitely), what the hell he wanted.
He got up, so I prepared myself for the fight. He smashed into my face so hard, I collapsed on the floor, my head ringing like a motorboat. I could not see anything, it was all yellow in colour. I got up, holding my falling and bleeding face. You know what I did?
I stood in front of them and LAUGHED. They could not believe it. Since that day, they started to be all friendly.
Physical pain isn't a big deal to me. I feel the pain, but it goes away.
If only tinnitus were like that. I would rather get my face smashed over and over. Worst case scenario, I'd start looking a lot less sexy
How anything affects our lives, is much less of a problem with subjectivity than people think. I said it umpteen times....I'd rather walk on crutches for the rest of my life and getting a peaceful sleep and play my videogame in the evening, than this.
Tinnitus robs you of your peace of mind. That's worth even more than my legs.
And my face, too. Hey, it's a face. Who cares? I know I'd never be Marylin Monroe's type anyways.
The great Niki Lauda never cared about his face either.
Not to mention Freddie Krueger.
I have T since last december, habituation is certainly the key, but it's still very hard for me to achieve that. It's a mourning/grieving process of our hearing lost, very very hard to accept. When you said you've done the AM 101 trail, do you mean one year ago or after one year? Thanks again to give us hope for our future! Genevieve
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