First got tinnitus when I was 16 after an AC/DC concert and years of loud music. This was 2008. The tinnitus was very distressing at the time, but by age 18 it more or less was "gone." I could hear it if I covered my ears, but it more or less stopped bothering me and I never really noticed it.
In November 2020 I had another (accidental) exposure to loud music for about half an hour, and the tinnitus came back. And this time, it was definitely louder than the first time. For some reason this was initially less distressing (somewhat) because I hoped it would go away, but it became very distressing and I began drinking a lot, which evolved in alcohol abuse, to sleep and ignore it during the day. Overtime I got better at habituating with it, and could mostly not be bothered by it during the day - occasionally at work I'd notice it and it would bother me, but I could just "ignore" it again. I now only drank at night and my diet was better. By the summer of 2022 I went to Europe for a family wedding, and it was almost completely gone, except at nights when I would drink to sleep. It wasn't that it was "gone", just that I wasn't noticing it.
Since this February, it seems to have gotten louder and is bothering me. In April, there was an even bigger spike. I try and trace events that are connected to it - possibly going on my fathers boat, although I wore earplugs.
3 weeks ago I drove to West Palm Beach and back (about 20 miles on the highway), I did NOT wear earplugs and starting the next day, my white noise (I use violet noise) would no longer completely block out my tinnitus. I could still hear it over the white noise, and it didn't even seem to be about volume, it seemed that my brain was "honed in" on it. 5 days ago I very briefly hammered in 2 nails (not even, I was holding a piece of wood for someone else to do) - now my brain is telling me that was a spike too. Even though I had much louder sounds during the wedding, through the prior 2 years, etc that didn't cause damage. For the past 4 months, it feels like I've thinking "my tinnitus was better a month ago, if only I could go back" as if it's slowly creeping up, if that makes sense.
And the other thing, I'm not even 100% sure if it's that much louder than it was 2 years ago. When I put earplugs in, I can't tell if it's the same or not. I have very high anxiety, which could be in part caused by the alcohol, as it's bad enough that I get withdrawals. It's also very hard to do an exact timeline of what event caused which spike and when, I'm always second guessing.
My theory is maybe the ongoing alcohol abuse has weakened my ears and make me more susceptible to noises, so even a car ride, or boat ride with earplugs can add on to the pre-existing damage? We're suppose to go back to Europe this year and while I'd hate to miss the trip, suddenly the thought of the 8 hour flight terrifies me - if I got a spike from the boat, with earplugs, what will a plane do?
Anyway, that's that.
In November 2020 I had another (accidental) exposure to loud music for about half an hour, and the tinnitus came back. And this time, it was definitely louder than the first time. For some reason this was initially less distressing (somewhat) because I hoped it would go away, but it became very distressing and I began drinking a lot, which evolved in alcohol abuse, to sleep and ignore it during the day. Overtime I got better at habituating with it, and could mostly not be bothered by it during the day - occasionally at work I'd notice it and it would bother me, but I could just "ignore" it again. I now only drank at night and my diet was better. By the summer of 2022 I went to Europe for a family wedding, and it was almost completely gone, except at nights when I would drink to sleep. It wasn't that it was "gone", just that I wasn't noticing it.
Since this February, it seems to have gotten louder and is bothering me. In April, there was an even bigger spike. I try and trace events that are connected to it - possibly going on my fathers boat, although I wore earplugs.
3 weeks ago I drove to West Palm Beach and back (about 20 miles on the highway), I did NOT wear earplugs and starting the next day, my white noise (I use violet noise) would no longer completely block out my tinnitus. I could still hear it over the white noise, and it didn't even seem to be about volume, it seemed that my brain was "honed in" on it. 5 days ago I very briefly hammered in 2 nails (not even, I was holding a piece of wood for someone else to do) - now my brain is telling me that was a spike too. Even though I had much louder sounds during the wedding, through the prior 2 years, etc that didn't cause damage. For the past 4 months, it feels like I've thinking "my tinnitus was better a month ago, if only I could go back" as if it's slowly creeping up, if that makes sense.
And the other thing, I'm not even 100% sure if it's that much louder than it was 2 years ago. When I put earplugs in, I can't tell if it's the same or not. I have very high anxiety, which could be in part caused by the alcohol, as it's bad enough that I get withdrawals. It's also very hard to do an exact timeline of what event caused which spike and when, I'm always second guessing.
My theory is maybe the ongoing alcohol abuse has weakened my ears and make me more susceptible to noises, so even a car ride, or boat ride with earplugs can add on to the pre-existing damage? We're suppose to go back to Europe this year and while I'd hate to miss the trip, suddenly the thought of the 8 hour flight terrifies me - if I got a spike from the boat, with earplugs, what will a plane do?
Anyway, that's that.
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