Yesterday it was almost 100% quiet and then in the evening super loud again, today i wake and its quiet and again its now creeping up in volume to levels that are literally destroying my life.
The sound i experience isn't just a sound, its far more physical than 'just a noise' i feel 'ill' somehow when its loud, its clouding my every thought and makes my head feel hot and stuffy, it also somehow makes the world seem 'smaller' can't explain that one.
Its destroying my business too, I'm very angry now, seething (and no before any of you here suggest calming down as it will reduce the sound, well I'm afraid in my case thats BULLSHIT its the same if I'm angry/anxious or clam. The SAME.)
I will NEVER, ever get my hopes up again thinking its getting better, today it is terrible. TERRIBLE. Nobody can put up with this sound, not the levels its at today, nobody. I cannot cope anymore and i am very low, very very low.
Please do not suggest i go see a doc about anti depressants as I've been there before and they made me much, much worse (depression in the past), let alone the side effects, it would make life not worth living going back down that route.When i do anything physical, and i mean ANYTHING like for eg. walking, put a coat on or anything that raises my heartbeat above resting and the sound is TWICE as loud (no exaggeration)
So, Sheri, maybe wait and see how things go eh? people tell me mine might go away, i think that is utter tosh, i think its for life and i think i will have to use white noise 24/7 like i have been doing. Im being realistic about things finally.