My Whatever Place

[Leila]

Unfortunately the pendant bridge running along the foot of the rock / cliff I wanted to take was closed because of a rockfall so I had to detour and climb all the way to the top to get back on track. Really exhausting and I was lucky enough nobody was walking nearby and had to listen to me pant and gasp

But so worth it

Today's hike will be a little longer but with less elevation gain. Or so I hope...

 

[Leila]

Not the biggest fan of the smell (or taste) but it sure looks pretty

As for the up and down problem - I still haven't figured out how to plan a nice and easy hike, but I've noticed that it doesn't really help to wander off the signposted path in order to take a picture whenever the mood strikes or the view is just too tempting...

 

[Leila]

And another severe weather warning. I hope you're all safe and unaffected by the thunderstorms and heavy rains.

From the pictures things are looking really bad a little further south from where I live. They even predicted there might be tornados...

 

[Leila]

Not sure how but I'm pretty sure a mouse must have gotten in somehow because it's the third time in a row something rummaging around my room woke me up in the middle of the night. I guess I'll have to look into a means of pest control tomorrow. Sigh.

At first, I thought it was little Ozzy who is terribly sick but he is sleeping quietly, which I'm grateful for. I had to take him to the bird clinic last week where he had an x-ray done that showed his liver to have grown to a size it squashes his other organs and stomach which causes him to be horribly short-winded and barely able to eat. I was told to make him inhale steam and give him some probiotics and come back after 2-4 weeks. However, instead of improving his condition has gotten to the point where every little movement or bite or drink he takes makes him gasp for breath for minutes, so I have decided to take him back to the clinic today to have him put to sleep. I'm heartbroken because it makes me feel horrible to make this decision about his little life but listening to him fight for air and watching him getting weaker by the hour is telling me it's my responsibility to to either make him better or make the suffering stop and since I can't manage the first...

Not sure what to do about my other little bird now. Do I try again and find another senior budgie? Do I keep her on her own (which is pretty cruel)? Or do I try to find her a new home (which is pretty cruel, too, because she's done nothing wrong and this has been her home for more than 8 years)?

So, sleepless and sad...

 

[Leila]

Goodbye little Ozzy

 

[Rockman]

Sorry about your little buddy.

 

[Leila]

Sorry about your little buddy.

Me too, @Rockman - thank you very much for your kind words!

 

[Leila]

I have no idea if it really was a mouse that moved in with me temporarily but whatever it was, it made the mistake of hiding in my backpack last night, so I grabbed the thing and put it outside for the night. When I checked my backpack in the morning my little houseguest had disappeared - yay!

 

[Leila]

It's been a hard three weeks, with Ozzy's health turning for the worse so quick and Nellie being so unhappy on her own. I've thought long and hard about my / her situation and eventually had to admit that the best course of action would be finding her a new home (which isn't as easy as it sounds, when the budgie is very much a senior - a lot of them are quite overbred which has them tend to die really young). But I found a nice new place in a flight of 20 other birds, so that, hopefully, she'll find another bird that she likes.

I took her there yesterday afternoon and now, for the first time in 15 years, I'm "vogelfrei" which literally translates into free as a bird but has a double meaning in German because you can also read it as without birds. It feels really strange to me right now but it definitely was the right thing to do for her.

 

[Leila]

Spent the long weekend taking down all of my remaining bird paraphernalia and painting the walls and ceiling. Not quite finished yet because I have hard time doing overhead work but I'll be getting there eventually

 

[Leila]

First coat of paint is on, yay me! Unfortunately, the content of one of the paint cans was a tiny little bit less white than the one I'd used before. You couldn't see it, while it was drying but not it is pretty obvious, so it's a good thing I was planning to do a second coat anyway. I even got a fresh can of paint to be on the safe side I didn't realise how grey my walls had turned over the course of the years until I got started on my little post-budgie-project.

 

[Leila]

Apart from doing renovations during a heatwave, which are ever so slowly progressing, I have started to take a teaspoon or two of zeolite (a medical clay) for about two weeks. Maybe it is a coincident but the stuff actually seems to have an impact on my tinnitus. It is still there but seems to have quieted some and sometimes, especially in the mornings, it's so quiet I barely notice it's there. This, sadly, only lasts for a minute or two but after seven years without silence at all, this little minute feels like the greatest gift ever.

Here in Germany you can only get zeolite for your pets or non medical purposes but it's not hard to find online.

As I've said, maybe the one hasn't got anything to do with the other but I still wanted to share this little discovery of mine with the people on Tinnitus Talk. And maybe somebody else around here has experimented with zeolite as well and would like to chip in and share their experiences.

 

[Leila]

Not been very active the last couple of days but still around and doing okay. The renovations have spread to the hall and I might be doing the rest of the place, too, depending on my mood and how cheaply I'll be able to come by the materials. I'm not making big changes but it really took me by surprise how much of a difference a fresh coat of paint and a bit of new wallpaper will make.

My tinnitus has been bearable most of the time but there were times when it made friends with a couple of new tones. Fortunately, the new additions didn't last very long, but the fact that they made an appearance at all left me with a very uneasy feeling. Fingers crossed there weren't the harbingers of a new normal!

 

[Leila]

Today is one of the darkest days of my life. After being unable to reach my closest friend for the last couple of days I finally got in touch with her parents only for her mum to tell me that she has died.

She has been one of the most loving and beautiful souls to have ever walked this earth - Barbara, I'm going to miss you so much, I miss you so much already...

P.S. Is there a way to download videos from YouTube? I would like to download my friend's music (videos) while they are still available.

 

[UKBloke]

Today is one of the darkest days of my life. After being unable to reach my closest friend for the last couple of days I finally got in touch with her parents only for her mum to tell me that she has died.

She has been one of the most loving and beautiful souls to have ever walked this earth - Barbara, I'm going to miss you so much, I miss you so much already...

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Really sorry to read this Leila. I'm sure you were very special to Barbara too.

P.S. Is there a way to download videos from YouTube? I would like to download my friend's music (videos) while they are still available.

I use this program: https://www.4kdownload.com

Bit faffy to setup but works well.

 

[Leila]

Bit faffy to setup but works well.

Thank you, @UKBloke. I've just downloaded the songs she had on her channel, I just wish we'd recorded all of the songs she's written herself.

 

[Damocles]

Today is one of the darkest days of my life. After being unable to reach my closest friend for the last couple of days I finally got in touch with her parents only for her mum to tell me that she has died.

She has been one of the most loving and beautiful souls to have ever walked this earth - Barbara, I'm going to miss you so much, I miss you so much already...

My deepest condolences @Leila.

Losing people we love and who love us in return is an exercise in habituating to absence, I believe.

Over time we lose more people who we felt, a strong connection to, and comfort around.

So far, I've lost my grandmother and my uncle; both of whom were very special to me and I miss every day.

However what I can assure you of, is that I have felt both their presences (at some time or another). So if you and your friend were as close as you say you were, then I'm sure she'll be looking out for you.

Also, I'm glad to see you've been proactive in collecting all mementos of her (downloading her songs etc.). We must never try to forget those who meant so much to us to avoid the pain of their loss, because so much more of their life is lost by not celebrating their memory.

Anyway, big hugs to you as always. Hope you're doing alright otherwise.

 

[Leila]

Thank you for your kind words, @Damocles, and sorry for being forced to experience the same kind of grief with uncle and gran.

One would expect that, as with everything in life, dealing with the loss of somebody close to our hearts ought to get easier with experience, and yet it never does.

I'm usually not very sentimental because I know that the electromagnetic energy that animates our bodies won't die with its physical form of containment. But since the spark that animates me is still very much bound to the physical form it is residing in at the moment, a form that is so very limited in its perception of the things that are around us, I'll just have to be patient for a little while longer.

My friend was a firm believer when it comes to the existences of angels and spirits, which is pretty much the same thing I believe, too, only that I've been wired to be okay with a more scientific explanation while she's always needed the pretty images and pictures.

It's what I've always loved most about her. I can't count how often we've found ourselves on opposite sides of the scale as far as our views on life, love, the world and beyond were concerned, and yet it has only enriched our friendship since it has always made us appreciated the difference in the other even more.

I don't think I'll ever find a friend like her again because with the way things are going in this world, people have lost and / or are actively trained to lose this ability, so that they will rather cut you from their life instead of accepting that a different point of view and the will and ability to argue it doesn't make you a bad person.

Once again, thank you very much for reaching out, @Damocles, it makes me feel less lonely to know that there are people around who care!

 

[Steph1710]

Not sure about the distraction factor but it always made me laugh

Hahahaha! Did not expect that! Brilliant!

 

[Steph1710]

Today is one of the darkest days of my life.

I am SO sorry for your loss Leila. The feeling of losing someone you love is a whole different level of pain/sadness.

From your photos I can see that Barbara was a beautiful soul. She is literally shining in both pictures.

I like to think that those who disappear from this life, never truly leave us. I am sure Barbara is watching over you now Leila. Her spirit will help guide you through these dark days.

My deepest condolences,

<3

 

[Steph1710]

Losing people we love and who love us in return is an exercise in habituating to absence, I believe.

You have such a beautiful way with words. I feel like you are able to voice what we all wish to say. Thank you. <3

 

[Leila]

Thank you very much, @Steph1710, for your encouraging words - your support means a lot to me! I still don't really know whether I'm coming or going and burst into tears in the middle of conversations totally unrelated to Babs or Babs' death. However, I've come to realise, too, how incredibly lucky I have been to be friends with such a beautiful and genuine person for as long as I have. I've got 20+ years of happy memories and I refuse to let her death devalue these by making it the sole attribute worth remembering about her.

 

[Leila]

2022 is not my year! Yesterday, I got the sad news that my little Nellie passed away, too. If I had known, she would go so soon, I would have spared her the stress of moving into a new home...

 

[Leila]

It's that time of the year again where everybody who's been guarding their fruit trees with their life up until now is forced to admit defeat because they can only eat / preserve so much of their fruit.

Where I live, this means that trees get marked with yellow tape and you're allowed to harvest those trees without explicit permission. So I've done a bit of fruit picking and preserving, of course , and ended up with a nice stockpile of apple, cherry, plump and mirabelle preserves which will hopefully last me all winter.

Oh, and I've also discovered how absolutely fast and simple it is to make your own pesto!

After doing everything but sing and read bedtime stories to my shop bought plants, only for them to die on me anyway, I threw a couple of seeds in flowerpots this year and - wonders never cease! - I've been swamped with basil all summer. The stuff has been growing like crazy and I can't believe that something that is so delicate when shop-bought seems to be indestructible when homegrown... But I was trying to talk you into giving your own homemade pesto a try

Okay, as you already have guessed, you'll need quite a bit of basil. I used one arm - but my plant truly is massive, so you'll probably need more than one. You'll also need a nice chunk of parmesan cheese, a handful of mixed nuts, 1 clove of garlic (more if you really like your space), some olive oil and a bit of salt.

I used my blender to grind the nuts and did the rest with pestle and mortar. My little kitchen machine hates cheese and clocks up somewhat fierce. But if you have a stronger machine you can do it all in one go, but even if you blend your ingredients by hand, it only should only take a couple of minutes until you're done.

Oh, one word of advice, wait until everything has blended well before you add your salt. The pesto itself is pretty savoury already once your ingredients have been mixed together, so it is easy to add too much if you're adding it in the beginning.

PS: Pesto stores really well when you cover it with oil. You can use up the oil when you add some of your pesto to your pasta or (tomato) salad and simply add some more oil when you're done.

PPS: I'll take a picture of my monster plant tomorrow. I should call it / her "Audrey"

 

[Leila]

PPS: Another useful thing I've learned about basil plants - don't pick individual leaves because it weakens your plant but cut off a complete arm, instead. However, make sure to leave two leaves at the bottom and two new arms will grow from the joints. If one arm is too much for you to use up in one go, put what's left in a twist-off jar with a tiny bit of water on the bottom. Your basil will keep fresh forever and may even sprout some new roots.

 

[Leila]

Is there anybody here who has been selling their art on Redbubble? I haven't been able to figure out if there is a user fee for uploading your items like it is with Etsy for example. I don't want to sign up only to get this particular piece of information, so if you have some insight into the inner workings of Redbubble, I'd very much appreciate the advice!

 

[Aussie Lea]

Is there anybody here who has been selling their art on Redbubble? I haven't been able to figure out if there is a user fee for uploading your items like it is with Etsy for example. I don't want to sign up only to get this particular piece of information, so if you have some insight into the inner workings of Redbubble, I'd very much appreciate the advice!

Redbubble is 100% free to to upload items.

How they make their money is this:

If a t-shirt base price is $17, and your own markup is 25%, you will get $4.25 (25% of $17) from the t-shirt sale, with the retail price being set $21.25 (so your customer pays $21.25, you get $4.25, Redbubble gets $17).

 

[Leila]

Thank you very much @Aussie Lea, that's exactly what I wanted to know. I haven't been able to find this particular piece of information on their "start selling now" page and, as far as I can tell, it's not listed in their terms and conditions, either. So, thanks again for your help, you are a star!!!

 

[Leila]

Just baked the weirdest bread ever - Coca Cola Bread! - because I can't resist weird things

It turned out really nice and fluffy. You can taste the coke but it's not cloyingly sweet or too overwhelming.

Anybody adventurous enough to want to give it a try?

The round one is the Coca Cola Bread and the other one an all-time favourite of mine and called the Live-altering Bread. It is basically nuts and seeds only, though I add about 3-4 tablespoons of flour because I like the consistency better this way.

 

[Leila]

OMG...! In German we have a saying, "Wenn man keine Arbeit hat, macht man sie sich einfach selbst." I don't think there is a similar saying in English but it translates into something the likes of, "If you have nothing to do, you just make your own work / work will find you".

It doesn't make a lot of sense without context (it's the same in German, unless you know the kind of situations it refers to), so here we go...

I was given a clay baker - yay! - and decided to use it for a dish I've prepared so many times I could do it blindfolded. Or so I thought. Long story short, the instructions said not to add extra liquid but since I wanted to have some extra sauce I did so anyway. Next thing I know, there is smoke just about everywhere. And not just a little bit - think Carpenter's The Fog! Fortunately, I disabled my smoke alarm because the bloody thing would have gone nuts.

I don't think I've ever created a bigger mess. I was lucky I put a gratin dish under my clay baker, so my oven doesn't look too bad. The clay pot and the gratin dish, however, might be two lost cases. I haven't dared opening the pot because the bottom half is just about covered in, well, it looks a lot like bitumen, but must have been my extra sauce, so I'm kind of wary of what's inside. The gratin dish and the charcoal sculpture attached to it I just chucked outside. Hopefully with a bit of an overnight soak it will look a little less intimidating in the morning.

So, for the last couple of hours I've been airing out the place, so that I can navigate by sight once again and hopefully will be able to go to sleep without coughing.

Did that help with my German saying or add to the confusion?