- Sep 29, 2021
- 27
- Tinnitus Since
- mild since 90s - serious since 2000s
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Larks' Tongues in Aspic, part one
I can't tolerate pharmaceutical antidepressants. They typically cause me insomnia and restless legs. So I sought an alternative. One week ago Wednesday, I began taking a large dose of Myo-Inositol (15 grams+ daily, divided into 4 doses, added to food), to treat depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I gave no thought to it having any effect whatsoever on my tinnitus and hyperacusis. By Friday evening (31 March), something was happening with my hearing, something unexpected and positive. My tinnitus was softer and had fewer tones (it used to be a chorus of multiple random screaming tones), and my ears felt strong and far less sensitive. Hyperacusis had curtailed many of the normal activities most people take for granted. I could still work 28 hours per week at a public library and drive with earplugs in and earmuffs on. But I had no life.
By Monday morning, I was on top of the world. I felt 50% better. I no longer counted the days before Dr. Shore's treatment arrived or worried that it might not be available in time to save me. I could enjoy listening to music at low volumes. My hearing was clearer and seemed sharper, but far less painful. I could drive longer distances than just to my job or the market, both of which only required a few minutes of driving. I still wore earplugs and earmuffs in the car out of habit. I still put my earmuffs on at work when kids with high voices came into the library. But not nearly as often.
A part of me cautioned, "Maybe this is just the placebo effect." "But I wasn't expecting any effect on my tinnitus. I'm taking Inositol for something else entirely." So I dismissed the thought.
I looked online for studies and anecdotes about the effect of Inositol on tinnitus and hyperacusis. I didn't find much. I did remember that a tricyclic prescribed for OCD helped people with hyperacusis, so I thought maybe Inositol might have a similar mechanism. There was one person here on this forum who said Inositol improved their tinnitus, but it was a tiny dose, not 4-6 tablespoons a day like I am taking.
Anyway, after a week of having my life back, the tinnitus and hyperacusis returned to their pre-Inositol levels. I was just sitting in my living room reading my book yesterday when I noticed my old, jet-engine tinnitus was back in full force. For the third time in the decades since I have had tinnitus, the placebo effect had played a nasty joke on me, and I had believed I was essentially cured, or half-cured. I had a very dark night yesterday. When my condition has been at its worst, I have had passive suicidal ideation. Luckily always passive. There are parts of my life that I am still in love with, and I do not want to let them go. So I always reject any thoughts of delivering myself from this defective body. But my condition is getting progressively worse, so I may not always reject those thoughts. I fear the severity of my condition crossing a point where I will truly no longer wish to be in this body. I am not there, yet, and I hope never to reach that point.
Something in my own mind made me feel like I was partially cured, enough to get substantial aspects of my life back. I now feel like the protagonist of "Flowers for Algernon," the man who acquired genius intelligence and then lost it all again. If we could harness the mind's capacity to trick itself, we could cure ourselves. If I knew how, I'd turn on the placebo effect at all times, and never worry about tinnitus. But it doesn't work that way.
It was a good week. It felt nice to be alive again.
By Monday morning, I was on top of the world. I felt 50% better. I no longer counted the days before Dr. Shore's treatment arrived or worried that it might not be available in time to save me. I could enjoy listening to music at low volumes. My hearing was clearer and seemed sharper, but far less painful. I could drive longer distances than just to my job or the market, both of which only required a few minutes of driving. I still wore earplugs and earmuffs in the car out of habit. I still put my earmuffs on at work when kids with high voices came into the library. But not nearly as often.
A part of me cautioned, "Maybe this is just the placebo effect." "But I wasn't expecting any effect on my tinnitus. I'm taking Inositol for something else entirely." So I dismissed the thought.
I looked online for studies and anecdotes about the effect of Inositol on tinnitus and hyperacusis. I didn't find much. I did remember that a tricyclic prescribed for OCD helped people with hyperacusis, so I thought maybe Inositol might have a similar mechanism. There was one person here on this forum who said Inositol improved their tinnitus, but it was a tiny dose, not 4-6 tablespoons a day like I am taking.
Anyway, after a week of having my life back, the tinnitus and hyperacusis returned to their pre-Inositol levels. I was just sitting in my living room reading my book yesterday when I noticed my old, jet-engine tinnitus was back in full force. For the third time in the decades since I have had tinnitus, the placebo effect had played a nasty joke on me, and I had believed I was essentially cured, or half-cured. I had a very dark night yesterday. When my condition has been at its worst, I have had passive suicidal ideation. Luckily always passive. There are parts of my life that I am still in love with, and I do not want to let them go. So I always reject any thoughts of delivering myself from this defective body. But my condition is getting progressively worse, so I may not always reject those thoughts. I fear the severity of my condition crossing a point where I will truly no longer wish to be in this body. I am not there, yet, and I hope never to reach that point.
Something in my own mind made me feel like I was partially cured, enough to get substantial aspects of my life back. I now feel like the protagonist of "Flowers for Algernon," the man who acquired genius intelligence and then lost it all again. If we could harness the mind's capacity to trick itself, we could cure ourselves. If I knew how, I'd turn on the placebo effect at all times, and never worry about tinnitus. But it doesn't work that way.
It was a good week. It felt nice to be alive again.
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