Need Support and Reassurance Please

[Charbee]

Hi, this is the first time I have actually posted on the forum.

I've had tinnitus since October last year it started in my left ear and I had nothing in my right. The left ear improved or maybe I just coped with it. Then randomly it started in my right ear slowly getting worse. I had microsuction done at the end of August and it's made the tinnitus in my right ear really bad since. I also keep getting 30 seconds to min spikes. Is that normal?

I have hyperacusis as well. I think I've developed a intense fear of sound since the microsuction. I'm not coping well at all. I've been trying to do as much relaxation as possible. I've bought a sound machine. I'm still in withdrawal from tapering benzodiazepines. I don't know what going on but I'm very scared and starting to feel suicidal and depressed. Cos I don't know how I'm going to cope. Please don't put anything negative I couldn't cope with it right now.

 

[Kolisar]

Hello @Charbee

First, f you have not read them yet, I would highly recommend reading the following posts by @Michael Leigh.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/answers-to-hyperacusis-and-habituation.12058/

These deal with tinnitus and hyperacusis, along with providing a lot of information on coping and habituation.

I know it is difficult, but trying to maintain a positive attitude will help tremendously.

@billie48 wrote his success story demonstrating how positivity helped him habituate.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

@Michael Leigh wrote the following, excellent post on the importance of positivity:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/
and the following on negativity and tinnitus
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-the-negative-mindset.23705/

There is also some, potential, good news and some hope for you.

@Bill Bauer wrote the following post discussing studies that show a fairly high recovery rate from tinnitus ( https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spontaneous-recovery-stats-over-70-recover-3-studies.21441/ )

As for the suicidal thoughts @tiniturtle wrote the following, excellent, post about suicidal thoughts. As one who has been there, I agree with what he says and would recommend reading it through and considering the points he makes.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...-about-suicide-or-the-ideation-of-such.23316/

From my own personal perspective, I do understand how you are feeling. Suicidal thoughts are common amongst tinnitus sufferers. Depression and tinnitus are common companions and tend to feed off of each other. But, if your tinnitus does not clear up you can and will learn to cope. It will be a difficult journey, but you will make it.

There is also some good news in the fact that you found our community. If you have not already discovered this, you will find that it is full of caring, compassionate, and sympathetic people who not only understand what you are going through (because we have and/or still are going through the same thing), but who are also willing to provide comfort and support despite their own suffering. I am glad that you found us, but am sorry that you had to seek us our in the first place.

So, the importance of you finding our forum is that you are not alone. You now have a large community who will support you and help with your struggle. Please try to hang on, it will get better and it will get easier. It will take some effort on your part, and I know that at this time you probably do not feel that you have the strength to do it, but we will help you. We will help you find the strength, and we will give you ours to help you cope and make it through. You will not have to fight this battle alone.

Please keep posting and keep us updated on your progress, and please, reach out to us when you are struggling. Someone will be here, respond, and try to help you when you need it.

 

[Charbee]

Thank you so much for your lovely message I will look through all the links you have sent me. I'm glad I have found this place

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee, I hope they help, I know that the applicable ones helped me (I, fortunately, do not suffer from hyeracusis, so those particulate posts did not apply to me).

I would also recommend seeking out other posts by Michael Leigh, he has many more, very informative posts that are absolutely worth the effort to find and read.

Also, if you have not yet, read through some of the "Success Stories". I think it will help to see that people to recover or learn to habituate. I know tinnitus is terrible, but you will get through this. It will get easier.

 

[Charbee]

Thanks, I have read most of them links you shared with me. It gives me hope that so many people have learnt to live with T and H. I did the back to silence method with my left ear and it helped a lot. But it doesn't seem to work with the right as well maybe I am doing it wrong. Or just in a bad place in my mind right now.

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar i cant find how to message back. I dont have that box you said.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee,

I just send another, hopefully that will help. There should be a box similar in location and design to the one you use to respond to posts (as you did above).

 

[Charbee]

thanks for the message I did get it, I cant reply though I dont have that box under it. It just goes straight to support tinnitus talk. Do you think its cos i am a new member maybe? @Kolisar

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee, possibly. Give it a day. Or, if you have an "Inbox" option next to the "Aerts" you can press that and you may have a "Start a new conversation" link (just blue text that you can click). If not, perhaps the option to reply will show up soon. I was unaware that there would be a delay, but then again, I did not receive any messages until a while after I joined.

Perhaps logging off and logging back in again may fix it?

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar Unfortunatley its still not working. I've logged out and then back in. Linked my facebook account to my profile as I thought that might work for some reason lol.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee ,

It may take a day. Since you just joined today there may be a delay in allowing messages to prevent automatic systems creating accounts and then spamming private messages to the members of this forum.

For now, try to remain positive. It will get easier. It may not seem like it right now, but it will. Hang in there, read the posts I suggested, and try to do something you enjoy to get your mind off of it. I also know that some people have had trouble withdrawing from benzodiazepine. I would search the forum for that (the term benzos is used so that may help as I have not seen eh full name used often). But, most importantly, do something you enjoy and try not to focus on it.

Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar
Thanks for the info about benzos. I actually did a slow taper over 4 years with the help of online facebook groups. I've only been off them for 5 months. I'm still very unwell with benzo withdrawal. So with that and T and H ugh it's really hard. Thanks for your support I've read most of the links so far. I will reply as soon as I can. I will try and watch tv or play PS4 to get me through tonight. Thanks so much for you're help it's greatly appreciated.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee,

What games on PS4 do you play? I'm not a big gamer myself, but I do enjoy them (mainly Xbox One [Destiny is the only Multi-player I play], but I have a PS4 for certain games).

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar
I have an Xbox one as well but I mainly use my PS4 pro now. Games I play online are GTA and call of duty. I have got loads of games though. I really loved the last guardian on PS4 it was brilliant. I have started playing the new life is strange as it's quite calming but distracts me. And soon to play the new uncharted. Gaming has always been a nice escape for me.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee
I bought the PS4-Pro (my first PS device). But, I am not nearly good enough for GTA and CoD (I actually stay away from PVP because I am really that bad), which is why I play Destiny as a multi-player because I stick to the cooperative modes (I'm also not a very competitive person). I have played GTA V, but only in private areas with friends (again, cooperative). I will check out the last guardian. I have played some of the first Life is Strange, but then got pulled into another game. I'm a huge fan of Portal and Portal 2, but have not played the two player part fo Portal 2 because no one else I know has it.

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar i haven't played portal. I don't know how old you are so you might not know it. Did you ever play shenmue on the dreamcast? That's my all time favourite game. They are bringing out number 3 next year I've waited so long lol. I'm not brilliant on GTA online always getting blown up and stuff lol but I like it so I don't care. Not brilliant at cod either But again I enjoy it. I like playing zombies more than multiplayer.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee,

I did not play shenmue, but I do pre-date the dreamcast (I remember the original pong). I will look into shenmue and the pending new version.

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar
I just had to google what the pong was lol I had no idea. Yeah defo look at shenmue it was such a brilliant game for its time. I even bought a dreamcast just so I can still play that game.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee

Lol, I was afraid that "pong" was too old, I should have stuck with the sega genesis, or something around that era.

 

[Charbee]

@Kolisar
Lol well if it wasn't for pong gaming probably wouldn't be where it is today
The first gaming thing I had was a gameboy.

 

[Kolisar]

@Charbee

Yeah, I certainly to pre-date the Gameboy. Wow, am I feeling old now