this place seems like excellent support for likeminded sufferers/ non sufferers, so along with ordering a book on living with T and hyperacusis and getting put on a waiting list for cbt after 2 months of anxiety group sessions i thought id sign up here too. would be much appreciated if anyone took the time to read or give their thoughts, but just writing this out in itself will be cathartic for me.
my T began to surface while working part time in a school kitchen, at first i was doing a few days/week scrubbing pots & pans but after a few months began working in a plate/cutlery washing room as well (involving a conveyor belt of dinner trays dropping onto each other every few seconds, huge piles of cutlery getting chucked into metal trays to be sorted, plates being crash together etc. i have no idea how i was the only one who had an issue) .
I had the chance to take on 2 weeks full time in that room, and as i really wanted the money i did it, and im sure this is what pushed it too far. it was a massive conundrum at the time, as without that money i wouldnt have the expensive studio speakers and other gear that i have now, but incidentally the price my hearing has had to pay has seriously afflicted me the past 5-6 months.
at the ensuing ENT appointment my hearing test amazingly showed no notable hearing loss (after reading the other thread posted about hearing tests im now questioning what range that test actually covered)
the next audiologist i saw calmed my nerves regarding producing music for long stretches of time on the computer, assuring me it wouldnt pose a problem if its at a sensible volume (which it always is , as thanks to hyperacusis certain snares or one shot sounds with similar resonance cause discomfort and the feeling of blood rushing for a split second right in my ear drums)
so about a month after I was told that, I was getting the hang of ignoring it and tuning into it as little as possible. ( the sound of mine is really high frequency , white noise, worse in one ear than the other) I was affirming to myself that Im fully capable of getting habituated to it and if i take the right precautions it wont get any worse, and I eventually could go on living happily that without it restricting my life. i got fitted for custom ear plugs so I could go to gigs again and , and pursue dj'ing out in town too.
recently ive suffered a major set back though, as now a lower pitch more tonal ringing is becoming more and more pronounced in my ear that T was always worse in, as well as an uncomfortable feeling of fullness/pressure in either ear, and the combination of that with the high pitch screeching aswell has made me regress to the same initial fear i felt when it first came about. Ive been overly cautious with what my ears are exposed too and yet this comes right out the blue and now im straight back to struggling to think of anything else.
its so much worsened by the fact that I overcame a crippling depression in the past, during which i was on the verge of taking my life, by convincing myself that i can make a fulfilling life for myself with music, my one absolute passion. now the thought is constantly at the back of my mind that even though the speakers are really relatively quiet while i make music i cant stop myself from worrying now.
im trying to think rationally about it but i can tell ive pretty much lost my grip on it. i know that anxiety/stress can elevate T but when this came on I wasn't any more stressed than the few weeks beforehand, and I didnt think that a whole different pitch of ringing would come along too. a gp looked at my ears quickly 3 days ago and said they appear normal so it cant be infected or anything, but another ent appointment and hearing test would take at least a month again and im not even sure that would be any benefit, so im really at a loss and totally disheartened now.
Im sorry this turned out so long and dont expect many people to read all of it.. but if anyone has any similar experiences or some advice that would be so welcome at the minute
my T began to surface while working part time in a school kitchen, at first i was doing a few days/week scrubbing pots & pans but after a few months began working in a plate/cutlery washing room as well (involving a conveyor belt of dinner trays dropping onto each other every few seconds, huge piles of cutlery getting chucked into metal trays to be sorted, plates being crash together etc. i have no idea how i was the only one who had an issue) .
I had the chance to take on 2 weeks full time in that room, and as i really wanted the money i did it, and im sure this is what pushed it too far. it was a massive conundrum at the time, as without that money i wouldnt have the expensive studio speakers and other gear that i have now, but incidentally the price my hearing has had to pay has seriously afflicted me the past 5-6 months.
at the ensuing ENT appointment my hearing test amazingly showed no notable hearing loss (after reading the other thread posted about hearing tests im now questioning what range that test actually covered)
the next audiologist i saw calmed my nerves regarding producing music for long stretches of time on the computer, assuring me it wouldnt pose a problem if its at a sensible volume (which it always is , as thanks to hyperacusis certain snares or one shot sounds with similar resonance cause discomfort and the feeling of blood rushing for a split second right in my ear drums)
so about a month after I was told that, I was getting the hang of ignoring it and tuning into it as little as possible. ( the sound of mine is really high frequency , white noise, worse in one ear than the other) I was affirming to myself that Im fully capable of getting habituated to it and if i take the right precautions it wont get any worse, and I eventually could go on living happily that without it restricting my life. i got fitted for custom ear plugs so I could go to gigs again and , and pursue dj'ing out in town too.
recently ive suffered a major set back though, as now a lower pitch more tonal ringing is becoming more and more pronounced in my ear that T was always worse in, as well as an uncomfortable feeling of fullness/pressure in either ear, and the combination of that with the high pitch screeching aswell has made me regress to the same initial fear i felt when it first came about. Ive been overly cautious with what my ears are exposed too and yet this comes right out the blue and now im straight back to struggling to think of anything else.
its so much worsened by the fact that I overcame a crippling depression in the past, during which i was on the verge of taking my life, by convincing myself that i can make a fulfilling life for myself with music, my one absolute passion. now the thought is constantly at the back of my mind that even though the speakers are really relatively quiet while i make music i cant stop myself from worrying now.
im trying to think rationally about it but i can tell ive pretty much lost my grip on it. i know that anxiety/stress can elevate T but when this came on I wasn't any more stressed than the few weeks beforehand, and I didnt think that a whole different pitch of ringing would come along too. a gp looked at my ears quickly 3 days ago and said they appear normal so it cant be infected or anything, but another ent appointment and hearing test would take at least a month again and im not even sure that would be any benefit, so im really at a loss and totally disheartened now.
Im sorry this turned out so long and dont expect many people to read all of it.. but if anyone has any similar experiences or some advice that would be so welcome at the minute
Member
I've been eliminating one food after another !
I think too many years of gigs, djing and production/composition has led to my current predicament. 
