MemberHello! Just needed to share some of my newly developed issues with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis.
I suffer from T for 1 + 1/2 year now, after a sound trauma. It is at quite low levels, so I listen to it during calm and silence hours. Lately, I realized I hear more from the same ear, so I have Hyperacusis too.
I had managed to cope with it somehow, so much that I was thinking it was gone. It didn't happen initially, the first 6 months was a hell, I could not accept that this would be my life ever after. But then, by trying not to measure the level each time and get desperate I tried to ignore it and focus on other stuff before sleep or upon waking up (the times I mostly suffer). And had managed it. This forum had also helped a lot.
Recently, I moved to a new house alone. I was living with my parents and sister. From the first days I have been there, I noticed the whole house, most of the times, was much quieter during the day (no barking dogs, no cars passing the roads, no relatives there making their own activities etc.) making my T noticeable more times. I also had an unexplained horrible spike suddenly, when I was reading (no tv or radio on) that lasted for 2-3 days. Then I felt it became better but still louder than before.
So, I was trying to ignore it once again, even if it was louder -as I believe- and also the whole area was quieter too. I was better and then, for some weeks now, with the weather getting cold, I have another issue.
My neighbors air-condition external unit, is placed on the wall of my bedroom. When it works normally, I just listen to a white noise mostly, that does not bother me, but in some cases, it starts to work more intensively (not sure why), making the whole room to sound like a jet engine. The wall is vibrating.
This, I noticed, creates an intense anxiety to me! It is not that loud but it has a low frequency with a kind of vibration that I find irritating. It may last for 20 minutes or 1h and then it will be heard again after 4-5 hours. It is not there the whole time. I will speak to them to see if they can fix it, though I am afraid I will sound like a freak to be annoyed from such sound
I tried with earplugs but still, I listen to it. I measured it next to my wall at around 35-40 db. At my bed area is at 33-35. But the vibrating is annoying.
My mother heard it during the day (of course at night it is worse) and told me it is not that loud and is weird that annoys me and I am over sensitive!
My main concern to this is my reaction to be honest, not the sound itself. Living in a city, at a flat, will always result in unexpected sounds from the surroundings.
When I started to listen to this, I started to panic thinking that this may make my T worse. An internal fear in me makes me afraid of noises! And I was trying like crazy to understand from where that noise was coming, measuring it, feeling angry and full of rage for my neighbors (and I am generally not such a person!!) and in the end I was desparate. I was then trying to cover my ears or concentrate on something else, but actually, my senses were in 100% 'on' mode, making my listening extremely sensitive and in the end, I started to listen to this sound, even more, like it was the only thing existing on earth, my T spiked a lot and my whole head started to buzzing. I was feeling anger, anxiety, rage, my blood pressure was high and feeling my veins in my head, I was feeling in desperation like never before. I think I had a panic attack in the end, first time I was experiencing something like this, I started to cry and feeling helpless, pleading for this to stop.
And even when this stopped, even If I felt a relief, my head was still buzzing, my hear was still beating faster and my T was much louder. Took me ~1h to become calm again and managed to sleep.
Now, every afternoon that I sit on my couch to relax, I start thinking:
"Now it will start again, listen carefully if it has started, ah, not yet, but don't be happy, it will wil start soon, it will torture you again, it wil make yout T worse and worse, and will be like this every day, this house is awful, you chose that, blame on you, your life is awful, T is ruining your life, with the yperacusis you will always suffer from noises, you will suffer for ever, no need to complainaboutr the noise they will laugh at you and will understand you have a problem, it is you that has the issue, oh wait and see in an hour something that will start again you will have a T spike and a headache and every day will be like this........'
An internal, eternal loop of desperation and self-pity!
I am not relaxed even before the noise, not during, nor after! And it somehow started to control and define my life. And I understand this is a psychological issue mainly, mostly a fear, and now I need to cope with it.
I am sorry for the long looong story, I just needed to share my problem with some that may understand how I feel. It would be nice if any that had a similar experience (I wish nobody had) has any tips to make this better and cope with it.
Thank you all!
I suffer from T for 1 + 1/2 year now, after a sound trauma. It is at quite low levels, so I listen to it during calm and silence hours. Lately, I realized I hear more from the same ear, so I have Hyperacusis too.
I had managed to cope with it somehow, so much that I was thinking it was gone. It didn't happen initially, the first 6 months was a hell, I could not accept that this would be my life ever after. But then, by trying not to measure the level each time and get desperate I tried to ignore it and focus on other stuff before sleep or upon waking up (the times I mostly suffer). And had managed it. This forum had also helped a lot.
Recently, I moved to a new house alone. I was living with my parents and sister. From the first days I have been there, I noticed the whole house, most of the times, was much quieter during the day (no barking dogs, no cars passing the roads, no relatives there making their own activities etc.) making my T noticeable more times. I also had an unexplained horrible spike suddenly, when I was reading (no tv or radio on) that lasted for 2-3 days. Then I felt it became better but still louder than before.
So, I was trying to ignore it once again, even if it was louder -as I believe- and also the whole area was quieter too. I was better and then, for some weeks now, with the weather getting cold, I have another issue.
My neighbors air-condition external unit, is placed on the wall of my bedroom. When it works normally, I just listen to a white noise mostly, that does not bother me, but in some cases, it starts to work more intensively (not sure why), making the whole room to sound like a jet engine. The wall is vibrating.
This, I noticed, creates an intense anxiety to me! It is not that loud but it has a low frequency with a kind of vibration that I find irritating. It may last for 20 minutes or 1h and then it will be heard again after 4-5 hours. It is not there the whole time. I will speak to them to see if they can fix it, though I am afraid I will sound like a freak to be annoyed from such sound
I tried with earplugs but still, I listen to it. I measured it next to my wall at around 35-40 db. At my bed area is at 33-35. But the vibrating is annoying.
My mother heard it during the day (of course at night it is worse) and told me it is not that loud and is weird that annoys me and I am over sensitive!
My main concern to this is my reaction to be honest, not the sound itself. Living in a city, at a flat, will always result in unexpected sounds from the surroundings.
When I started to listen to this, I started to panic thinking that this may make my T worse. An internal fear in me makes me afraid of noises! And I was trying like crazy to understand from where that noise was coming, measuring it, feeling angry and full of rage for my neighbors (and I am generally not such a person!!) and in the end I was desparate. I was then trying to cover my ears or concentrate on something else, but actually, my senses were in 100% 'on' mode, making my listening extremely sensitive and in the end, I started to listen to this sound, even more, like it was the only thing existing on earth, my T spiked a lot and my whole head started to buzzing. I was feeling anger, anxiety, rage, my blood pressure was high and feeling my veins in my head, I was feeling in desperation like never before. I think I had a panic attack in the end, first time I was experiencing something like this, I started to cry and feeling helpless, pleading for this to stop.
And even when this stopped, even If I felt a relief, my head was still buzzing, my hear was still beating faster and my T was much louder. Took me ~1h to become calm again and managed to sleep.
Now, every afternoon that I sit on my couch to relax, I start thinking:
"Now it will start again, listen carefully if it has started, ah, not yet, but don't be happy, it will wil start soon, it will torture you again, it wil make yout T worse and worse, and will be like this every day, this house is awful, you chose that, blame on you, your life is awful, T is ruining your life, with the yperacusis you will always suffer from noises, you will suffer for ever, no need to complainaboutr the noise they will laugh at you and will understand you have a problem, it is you that has the issue, oh wait and see in an hour something that will start again you will have a T spike and a headache and every day will be like this........'
An internal, eternal loop of desperation and self-pity!
I am not relaxed even before the noise, not during, nor after! And it somehow started to control and define my life. And I understand this is a psychological issue mainly, mostly a fear, and now I need to cope with it.
I am sorry for the long looong story, I just needed to share my problem with some that may understand how I feel. It would be nice if any that had a similar experience (I wish nobody had) has any tips to make this better and cope with it.
Thank you all!
