New Member — Long Time Sufferer — Worse Now Than Ever

[Pagey]

Hi Everyone,

I've been lurking for a while, particularly reading peoples experience with various medicines as I'm having a bout of sinusitis at the moment and things are not going well in tinnitus land.

A bit of history, I have played in bands since young, 41 now (and I don't play anymore). I abused my ears in my youth, gigs, clubs, the usual. But actually wore earplugs for probably the last ten years of bands.

I developed a very mild tinnitus quite young, probably around 18/19 and it never really bothered me too much, at worse a kind of hissy fluctuating sound in the left ear, and a very light high pitch sound, which I had to really listen for in the quiet to hear.

Jump forward to I think 2010 and I had a very unusual low pitched hum start in my left ear, which at the time came with some other wierd symptoms, such as odd like brain shocks when trying to sleep (stress? anxiety?) and between the two I became a total insomniac - even ending up at the ER begging them to knock me out after 4 days with not 1 minutes sleep. The low pitch hum would cut out completely when shaking my head, or if another low pitch hum were around. I could tell a car was going to drive past my house long before I could hear it as the hum would cut out. Anyway, cut a long story short, a very particular CAT scan, found a piece of bone missing from a fluid chamber in my ear, and it was suggested that what I was hearing was my own brain, as there was no barrier between the brain and the fluid chamber. Who knows...

Using a desk fan to sleep, I got used to this (after sleeping pills for a long time, and then a trycyclic(?) who's name I can't remember, but helped me sleep.) So all was well.

Fast forward to now, around a month ago a hissing began in my left ear which wouldn't go away. I have had three throat/ear infections in the last 4 months, this sinisitus being the 4th, and 4th dose of antibiotics. I'm on a large dose of amoxycillin now (today) which I am fairly safe with as I have had lots of it over the years, and I don't think it is ototoxic.

On Saturday my headache was so bad (since wednesday) I needed a painkiller. I chose IBprofen, and woke up with screaming high pitch tinnitus in the right ear. Which I am hoping and praying will settle down. I don't know if it was the ibprofen or the sinusitus that has caused it, but it is the loudest tinnitus I have ever had, and the hiss in my left can already be heard over my car, TV, shower - etc.

SO, hello everybody - its about time I joined in, and any positive comments about spikes/sinus/ibprofen related worsening of tinnitus settling back down would be appreciated, as I'm fighting the old enemies, anxiety and depression once again.

I have a wife and daughter who I LOVE and the thought of enduring this for the next x amount of years is (as most of you know) a frightening prospect. And the options of dropping out, losing my job/house/family, losing the will to live etc, cannot be an option as I would rather just be a smiling zombie shell, than cause my daughter any suffering. But that is the fear!

Thanks for reading my rant.. I mean 'introduction'

 

[Sailboardman]

Welcome Pagey,

This is the place to let it all hang out. No worries with expressing your feelings. We all have been cast into this boat and have to rely on ourselves, to come to terms with these menacing conditions. Seems everyone has a different, although, similar story to tell.

Maybe your current sinusitus, has worsened your T, as well as the Ibuprofen. If you can, stop the Ibuprofen and see if your T settles down?

Yes, your wife and daughter need you and your need them. Toughing it out isn't easy, but then again, who said life would always be sunshine & roses?

God bless,

Sailboardman

 

[Pagey]

Hi, and thanks for the nice words Sailboardman,

Yep - I really wish I hadn't taken the damn ibuprofen, I certainly haven't taken any more. I actually had a crushing headache for 5 days before I got to the Doc who said sinisitus, so was gingerly taking paracetemol and ibprofen a couple of times to take the edge off - I had developed a new ring in my left ear so was a bit paranoid about the paracetemol (which I had had more of the last few days) so went for ibuprofen. Its such a minefield - neither are meant to be truly ototoxic as far as I know, as in actually killing hairs. But I don't think anyone really knows enough about T to be sure. Just hoping at least it settles a bit, its really unbearable!

Life is a funny old game isn't it!! My daughter's just been trying to eat dirt in the garden, at least I'm making the most of my one day off sick!!

Pagey

 

[billie48]

Welcome Pagey. Sailboardman has given you good advice. Don't worry about the future. This is a mental stressor the T bully often uses to inflict untold mental suffering to the T victims. The mistake we often make is to believe in a catastrophic future painted by the T bully. We buy into the lies and we suffer. These kinds of distorted thoughts prevail among newer T sufferers or for those T kick up to a new level. In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), they call these cognitive distortions. Try to google it and you will find a list of distorted thoughts which can wreck havoc on the victims. Two typical ones apply to T sufferers - Catastrophic Thinking and All or Nothing Thinking. We tend to think the future under T will be a total disaster and not livable, and that life with T is not worth living despite all the other nice things in life. We need to write down these distorted thoughts, challenge them and counter them with more realistic and positive ones. Our reaction to T can determine how intrusive it can be to our life.

I like your point below as I was thinking in similar way during my darkest days. I said I would rather consider myself like a 'composted parent plant', like being 'dead' to all the hurtful sensations but still exist to nourish the offspring, like what composted parent plants have to do in order to provide the nutrients to the seedling plants.

I would rather just be a smiling zombie shell, than cause my daughter any suffering

I hope it is your sinus problem that cause your spike. If you have life long sinus problem, have you considered or heard of something called 'Sinus Flooding', particularly by using diluted hydrogen peroxide. I have sinus issue too but not bad enough yet to try this, but I have read in Google about many people trying this to get rid of their life long problem of sinus infection. If you wan to try it, pay attention to the section about the Eustachian Tube issue in term of the posture of the head in flooding the sinus.

 

[Bryan101]

Can relate Pagey, thanks for your story.
I too can get really depressed and anxious. I too have a wife and daughter. Last few days I've been "zombie" like with my depression.
I don't know what caused my tinnitus, but I've read some success stories here on the forums. They've given me hope.
I suffer from anxiety and depression anyway - now add tinnitus to the mix... F**K
Thank God for my little girl. She's the only one who's kept me going. There is no way I could end my life when I look at a picture of her. But sometimes it's really hard. I mean REALLY HARD not to think about pulling that trigger.
Don't want to be a downer. Again, I've heard some good success stories here and I really hope you, we, all of us get that treatment - that CURE we're looking for.

 

[Robert44]

I don't know if it was the ibprofen or the sinusitus that has caused it, but it is the loudest tinnitus I have ever had

Hi Pagey, I'm new to all of this so... I got T only couple of months ago. Ever since I got it I immediately cut out Advil, caffeine and chocolate and I've been drinking a lot of water. I did actually get an ear infection which wasn't related to T about a month ago which made me get T in my left ear also. This did go away since the ear infection cleared up. I suffered from headaches my whole life but since cutting caffeine i only had one headache in these last 2 months. I think we need to take care of ourselves so we don't make T worse. I notice when i don't take care of myself and "follow the rules" it gets a little worse. The key is to not make it worse. good luck

 

[Pagey]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the replies, I really do.
Billie48, I'll take a look at CBT, and I totally understand your plant analogy.
Bryan, I understand mate - Its like the easy way out has been taken off the table for us, which is probably good thing. I dread to think what kind of mess I would be if I didn't have to be strong for others. And Robert, you are no doubt right, caffeine is my last vice (with sugar), and I'm down to just a few cups of the good stuff a day, although I drink decaff in the evening.
My left ear is still screaming, driving me insane. There is feinately something going on in there - infection I guess as it hurts slightly inside, and stretching my neck forward/tendons makes it scream more. I think I'm just going to have to ride out the antibiotics and see what happens when it hopefully heals. If it doesn't get any better (or God forbid get worse) then I'll deal with it then, and try to stop focusing on it so much now. Easier said than done right!!!
Thanks again guys, it nice not to be alone facing hell.
Pagey.