New Peak of Habituation Achieved

[Off-Kilter]

I am having a very strange experience today. I usually take until the early afternoon to get rid of my negative tinnitus thoughts. Today, I got rid of them within 2 minutes of waking up! I have the whole day to myself now. I didn't want to go on this forum, but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't become one of those people who get better and never tell anyone, thus skewing perception.

It really is true what those irritating people say: tinnitus isn't even a problem, it's your response to tinnitus! I guess I now became one of those irritating people (at least temporarily). But, I also know that this "fact" (however true it is) doesn't help at all. I got out of my bad place seemingly at random, and until now, I couldn't be helped. Life is strange.

It goes even further: literally nothing is objectively bad! My life is "objectively" in shambles because of these years of tinnitus. I have deadlines coming up. But I don't even care, I feel cocky. I feel like I'm going to be unbelievably productive and surprise everyone. Why not? I've done it before. I'm weird. People always underestimate me, including myself.

 

[Raggs]

What a great way to explain it! It is what I was hoping to hear from someone..I'm so afraid that I will have
to talk myself into thinking I'm "habituated", or forever pretend that it isn't bothering me...or I think when ppl
say it isn't an issue for them, I think they are lying, whether lying to the world or themselves doesn't matter....b/c I know/think they are for really still suffering, especially when they say, "oh, don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days, and sometimes it still bothers the heck out of me, and I wouldn't say no to a cure"...

Thanks for sharing, gives me hope that I too, will randomly feel 100% relief, even if it is just temporary..sigh..

Oh, just want to share another story that really resonated with me and gave me huge hope.
Someone else was talking about how they were habituated..yadda yadda yadda..and then they actually said,
"Even if there was a cure, I would be too lazy to get my butt over to the doctor...THAT is how ok I am!"

This just amazes me!
Thanx again!

 

[mandi]

Off-Kilter, can you explain how this happened? Did you take classes, is the sound lowered, are you just getting used to it, or?

Wondering if the level of tinnitus sound makes a difference for people? Those with a lower level adjust better, where the louder levels our the ones having the harder times? Is there any threads that discuss the levels, sounds, and how they vary?

Are there machines that can be purchased to measure the level of sound and how it varies? Where can they be purchased? Thank you.

 

[Off-Kilter]

Did you take classes, is the sound lowered, are you just getting used to it, or?

I've spoken to many people about my tinnitus, some professionals, some not. They all told me obvious true things about my tinnitus, but it was helpful to maintain that grounding in reality and not get paranoid.

When you ask "is the sound lowered", that's a very interesting question. What I came to terms with, is that there is no sound. So that question doesn't even mean anything. I've always noticed that tinnitus seems louder when I'm thinking about it. So does it seem louder because I'm thinking about it, or do I think about it because it gets louder? What I came to understand is that there is no difference between the two! Tinnitus is a thought.

Here's another way to put it: I have often wished I could hear silence again. But what is silence? Silence is the absence of noise. The reason people like silence is that they won't be disturbed by noise. So, I have silence! I was wishing for something I already had. The problem with tinnitus isn't that it takes away silence, the problem with tinnitus is that it is an intrusive thought that stops your mind from enjoying the lack of noise.

I sometimes lapse back into tinnitus, but I now think of it as exactly the same thing as being annoyed by a clock ticking in the room. It's really just something that happens because I was already distracted from what I'm doing. Tinnitus has no explanatory power, it's just one of a hundred things I can sabotage myself with due to my own personality problems.

I should also add that I was on a free trial of a tinnitus masker (in-ear device) for some time. I still have it but haven't worn it in a while. I believe it helped me a lot, in the sense that it trained me to not constantly think about tinnitus. But in the end, it shouldn't be a necessary component to recovery, if my theory is right.

Now this post might seem like a huge cop-out to you. It might seem like I'm just redefining terms. I'm just redefining "silence". I'm just redefining "tinnitus".

But here's the thing: that redefinition isn't just a word game, it happened inside my mind. I now think in different terms. And if you think about it, the only possible "cure" to a perceptual problem is a perceptual solution. But I don't know how I did it. In fact it doesn't even feel like I did it.

This got really wordy and I had to re-edit. It's surprisingly difficult to explain what's different about me now. But I feel much happier and more confident, is the upshot of all this.

 

[Raggs]

I really enjoyed reading your post. This tinnitus thing is almost fascinating...I've always like psychological thrillers, but I just didn't want to be the star in one! ha! But yes, I've been having such a mind trip.
And when you mentioned that tinnitus is a "thought", well, that blew my mind...but I think I get it..
When we are not thinking about it, it's not bothering us. The only problem, is as soon as you realize
you haven't been thinking of it, you think of it! ha! Sorta reminds me of when I quit smoking.
I was always craving nicotine, unless I wasn't thinking about it, but then I couldn't enjoy the feeling
of not craving nicotine b/c when I thought about it , I wanted one..but as time passed, I can now think about cigarettes and not want one, so I am enjoying complete relief from the cravings. It's like a memory now.
So maybe that is what can happen with this. One day, I will be able to hear my t, but I will experience
relief, b/c it won't annoy me anymore.It will just be a memory that it used to annoy me..I know pretty deep.
Thanx again Off-Kilter..don't hold back if you have any more ways to explain it..seems to really help me,
and probably others too!

 

[Off-Kilter]

Okay, here is another way to try to explain it. Imagine you have an old-fashioned set of bathroom scales. Over time, if people treat them badly, the scales can get knocked out of alignment. So when there is no weight on them, the scales point to 0.05 instead of 0.

Now you would never say that there is an unseen weight of 0.05 that is constantly on the scales. But this is how people often talk about tinnitus. This will drive you nuts because you will always be trying to conceive of an unseen weight. You'll be going in circles.

The solution is to simply say that the 0.05 mark is the mark that refers to no weight.

 

[Hunszi]

"Even if there was a cure, I would be too lazy to get my butt over to the doctor...THAT is how ok I am!"

This just amazes me!
Thanx again!

That`s exactly me for 7 years...before my T got worse. It`s really sad that I can`t say this anymore.