New to Forum, Not to Tinnitus

[Anselmo]

I've been on this forum for a couple of months, but have had tinnitus since January 2014. That is longer then most of the people on this site. This backstabbing and bickering isn't good for one's psyche. And we can learn from anyone, regardless of how long they have had tinnitus.

@Lane is new, but he is an astute, and well read individual, who does his homework. And my main man, @kelpiemsp, is a scientist, who brings plenty to the table.

We must all come together as one, to combat this unpredictable and nasty condition.

 

[Starthrower]

This backstabbing and bickering isn't good for one's psyche.

I agree @Anselmo. Like you I have had tinnitus a long time since 2002. Believe it or not this has always been a part of tinnitus support forums. Many self proclaimed "experts" cannot be....understanding or take a disagreement with a certain view as a personal attack and than lash out and proclaim a very long list of "ignorned" people.

I view this as one big dysfunctional family! But when it matters many of us still come together to support someone during a bad time. While others will refuse.

 

[Anselmo]

@Starthrower: I have seen that support you talk about, but last night I witnessed a real free-for-all in a thread about TRT. A newbie just wanted some info, and all hell broke lose. People were badmouthing each other, arguments ensued, and it was an embarrassing display. In the end the poor girl said, in effect, thanks , but no thanks. Bye bye. That wasn't a good advertisement for our forum. And she was inundated with countless advice by long-winded people. Her head was probably spinning so hard, it nearly popped off. I think when you deal with somebody new, pithy is best.

 

[Starthrower]

@Anselmo I know. I don't think that will ever stop. I remember back in 2002 being a new person and the two sides pulled to see where I would go. It was like some sort of fight to get the new person on a certain "side".

In that thread did you notice who started the free for all? One member a woman asked "him" about TRT in the UK.
She was treated like an enemy of "him". Personally, I stand up for women (or men)who are being mistreated.

Her question could have been easily and politely answered. But she was called out for being a mature woman who was on the wrong "side".

Of course the new person was taken aback by way too much information and such.

There should be no "sides" with our tinnitus and support.

 

[Anselmo]

@Starthrower: I know who started the " free for all ", but I don't want to say. Look up Micheal Leigh and the TRT thread from yesterday, and you can see for yourself.

 

[Anselmo]

@Starthrower: I knew a dude who had a drug problem, and he went to NA. He said he could never get well in that toxic environment. Most of the people were out of their minds. After all, they are drug addicts. When he did get a chance to speak to a recovered addict, other people brushed him aside. He was new, so in their eyes he was disposable. I see the same scenario here. Many of the of the people who have been on this forum for many years are jaded-imo.

 

[Lane]

Many of the of the people who have been on this forum for many years are jaded-imo.

Thanks @Anselmo, for your kind words. I've spent considerably time on other forums in the past, focusing a lot on health conditions that interestingly, have a fair amount of overlap with tinnitus. I've done literally thousands of hours of research into various aspects of low-impact health therapies, and common sense preventative measures--many which I feel are directly or indirectly applicable to tinnitus/hyperacusis.

In a sense--though I'm new to tinnitus--I feel like a veteran of dealing with difficult life situations and have a fair amount to contribute--perhaps especially about thinking creatively on incredibly illusive health conditions. -- But I'm actually thinking about leaving the forum instead. I just don't understand how seemingly simple, polite questions and/or comments elicit such viscerally angry reactions. The harshness is just too much to deal with, and certainly doesn't help my own tinnitus.

I'll wait and see how this plays out however. I may just choose to chime in here and there, especially for those who are new to tinnitus, and are looking for ways to quickly get their footing. @Starthrower, interesting to hear from somebody like you whose been online with this since 2002. And you're still here! Kinda feels to me like you should get some kind of award or something!

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[Anselmo]

@Lane: You are right about @Starthrower deserving an award of some kind. That's what you call hanging in there, to say the least. They do have a positivity thread started by @demi and I might head over there. I think that might be a better option.

 

[Starthrower]

Hi Anselmo. Oh...I took about a four or five year break from anything to do with tinnitus or support or people connected to tinnitus.

When TT was brought to my attention I read the board for a long time without posting. I talked it over with my husband on whether or not I should get back into this. He missed my involvement from back then and encouraged me to come back into it.

I greatly appreciated the two guys that created this site. I kept reading about their efforts and accomplishments with the tinnitus community. That is why I decided to jump back in.

I guess at first one gets sucked into all the drama and fighting and picking sides and gossiping pms and on and on.
I know back then I was drawn into it.

But that is a LONG story.....

Hugs....