New to the Forum, Need Some Help!

[Joell]

Hi,

New to the forum. Ive had tinnitus for 15 years and it was not a real problem. But 6 months ago my tinnitus got louder gradually when i started to sleep with earplugs, and then finally got louder after a party. Since then my tinnitus is twice as loud as its been for the last 15 years. Its been 6 months since it got louder and im starting to understand that it might not go back to how it was before.

So the first thing that i think about when i wake up and when im going to bed at night is that i want to end my life to get rid of this situation.

Im a professional musician and i really don't know what to do now. Avoid music or not etc. Im reading a lot on the forum and the matter seems quite complicated.

Im now asking all of you out there. Where the fuck shall i start dealing with this problem ?

And since I'm tired of spending money on doctors and nature medicine that don't work I'm asking everybody for books that i can read to find out what to do. Habituation seems to be the only real thing to do so,

if anyone have material/books etc, please contact me!!!

I want to at least try to make it better before i decide what to do with my life. I really want to live you know. There is so much things that i want to do before its over, but at the same time I'm considering how much of a life there is living in a seriously damaged body.

Anyway, this seems to be a really good forum with a lot of good people hanging around here. So thanks for everything i learned so far.

Peace,
Joell

 

[Greg Clarke]

There's plenty of life left @Joell . There are no hard and fast rules or guidelines, you have to figure out what can work for you and what you are comfortable with. There are plenty of musicians like you on the board, myself included. So take your time and look up some of the similar posts on the forum to see what others are doing and how they're managing. Hang in there!

 

[SoulStation]

Hey @Joell ---another professional musician here. I am totally in your boat man so first I want to say I understand how painful it is to a musical ear to have this rotten ailment... There are places to turn to. I'm assuming you're a violinist based on your avatar? CBT and TRT are effect practices and available in certain areas. I saw a CBT specialist for tinnitus in the NYC and have thought about TRT but not made that jump yet.
I think being sensible about what you do performance wise and exposure wise is the best course of action. Obviously ALWAYS wear musician's plugs/or foam plugs/or ear muffs in a noisy environment. Don't give up music or just try to cut it out because the chances of that alleviating your problem are small. I think you just need to re-habituate to your new sound. There are temporary relief methods such as ACRN (Acoustic Coordinated Neuromodulation Reset). Using crickets/nature sounds to mask at night.
If you go to generalfuzz.net/acrn/ you can find your T frequency on the slider and the tones should give you some good residual inhibition (i.e. you probably won't hear your T very much/ at all when you're listening to them). I would say that I didn't get any long term benefit from this and in my opinion it counteracts the habituation process (having the T go away but replaced by beeps then switching back to T).
A couple of people who you might want to connect with (other professional musicians on here): (this is not a complete list)
@RaZaH
@Greg Clarke
@Mikey Cliff
@Steve
@walkthroughwalls
@Larry OT
@Lisa88
Anyway---I need to go get some coffee and get to my teaching gig--- (btw that's another good outlet for musicians with T being that it's not as hard on the ears)
P.S. If you ever want to chat or mill through coping techniques send me a Private message and we can talk etc...

 

[Joell]

Thanks for the reply both of you!

Im a composer and also play violin and piano. Since its my profession im quite in a situation here.

But ill start with spending a few more days on the forum here. Trying to get a better picture of whats goin on here.
I live in Europe so my next task is to find some high quality TRT or CBT specialist.

Again, thanks for your replies, somehow it feels better when youre not alone in this situation..

 

[SoulStation]

Message @Dr. Nagler in the "Doctors Corner" asking about good TRT clinicians in Europe. I know he recommends Dr. Sheldrake in London very highly but I'm not sure where you are.
I understand your situation. T is a life changing thing but just take in mind the plethora of musicians who have it and still perform and compose professionally. There must be something to habituation as they are not all downing loads of Trobalt or Xanax (well maybe on the xanax thing but not as likely).

 

[Greg Clarke]

Great advice from @SoulStation .

If I can just add, dont give up on your music. Find out what you can safely manage and take baby steps. Soulstation is still teaching. I myself have given up live work for the forseeable but am still managing to write music and can hopefully manage some recording in the new year.

 

[Joell]

Yeah, seriously, if i can keep doin my work then ill put up with almost everything (even a constant hiss inside the head.. can you imagine? hehe.. ). It helps to laugh at this wierd condition sometimes.. I mean, if you think about it..

and drugs, no thanks.. There will be no high performance done under the influence of a drug..

 

[Joell]

Nice to hear that youre still able to compose! Composing is really a worthy task in this universe..
Good luck with the recording then!

 

[russiancarl]

@Joell You sound a lot like me friend. I had steady tinnitus for 15 years that was like a 1 on the scale... hardly annoying and easy to deal with. I know when I first got it it wasn't that easy to deal with but over time I barely noticed it.

Then, this past summer due to medication, illness, or whatnot my tinnitus got way louder. It's been 6-7 months since then and it has settled down lower but it still sucks. I hate it on a daily basis but it does get easier.

I went to many doctors but in the end the only thing that has helped me is TRT. I only did it for a few months and maybe I shouldn't have stopped so soon but it rapidly helped me habituate and get into a better place. If after 6 months you haven't habituated yet I would say this is a good place to start.

You can usually find someone who does TRT in any major urban city with a hearing clinic. Most small town ENTs don't know much about T or the treatment for it. If you can't find anyone there are some steps you can do at home but I would really suggest seeing a doctor as half of the therapy is speaking with them.

Best of luck. It does get better... I don't know what to tell you with regards to music and your future but I hope you can find joy in other parts of your life. I've given up a lot since my T got worse and I don't want to risk it declining further. But you're right, you have to live life somehow.

 

[Joell]

We are really in a similar situation. I hope it gets better for us both..

Anger is a nice feeling. At least i dont feel hopeless when anger is present..

How does habituation work ? Is it physical thing (background noises etc) or is it psychotherapy related?

Can i do TRT my self, with books etc?

Tomorrow ill call around for ENTs. There must be some around.. no time to loose..

 

[I who love music]

Hi Joell

Hi,

New to the forum. Ive had tinnitus for 15 years and it was not a real problem. But 6 months ago my tinnitus got louder gradually when i started to sleep with earplugs, and then finally got louder after a party. Since then my tinnitus is twice as loud as its been for the last 15 years. Its been 6 months since it got louder and im starting to understand that it might not go back to how it was before.

So the first thing that i think about when i wake up and when im going to bed at night is that i want to end my life to get rid of this situation.

Im a professional musician and i really don't know what to do now. Avoid music or not etc. Im reading a lot on the forum and the matter seems quite complicated.

Im now asking all of you out there. Where the fuck shall i start dealing with this problem ?

And since I'm tired of spending money on doctors and nature medicine that don't work I'm asking everybody for books that i can read to find out what to do. Habituation seems to be the only real thing to do so,

if anyone have material/books etc, please contact me!!!

I want to at least try to make it better before i decide what to do with my life. I really want to live you know. There is so much things that i want to do before its over, but at the same time I'm considering how much of a life there is living in a seriously damaged body.

Anyway, this seems to be a really good forum with a lot of good people hanging around here. So thanks for everything i learned so far.

Peace,
Joell

Hi Joell,
I grew up around music and learned to play and make several instruments. When I'm not making music, I'm making noise with tools. I'm 56. When I was 18 I wanted to learn to play the fiddle. My old fiddle teacher said, "Ok, you can learn but if you play the fiddle you'll have a knot in your neck and ringing ears." He was right.
Anyway, my ears have been hissing and ringing since 1974. I've tried about every T remedy. This is my favorite ... https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

[Silvine]

Habituation works by your brain not caring about the sound. Everyone has what's called a global workspace where information is presented to the conscious mind for evaluation by the unconscious. It's the interaction of this information which creates your sense of "I" Eventually tinnitus doesn't become important to you as your unconscious doesn't bother about it. If you listen for it you hear it but if you don't it's to all extents not even there.

Tinnitus is actually harmless, it's the caring about it which gets you anxious and effects your quality of life.

When people first get T they wonder how they can go on and it really bothers them. Eventually they habituate though. Nobody in the world could cope with a lifetime of anxiety at the level of T's first appearance.

We're at a time where advances in medical technology and the treatment of T are very close. Carry on with what you enjoy in life. Every time you think of your T just remember the word above "harmless" and label your T as such.

 

[Joell]

Hey Music lover!=) Your teacher was right! My tinnitus started in my left ear (the one that is closest to the volin) and its still the "damaged one" after all this years. The violin is a wonderful, wonderful invention still, but i guess that some peoples ears are just not strong enough to handle it.

I just read the "40 year cure". And ill definitely try it. I just have one question:
-what do you do when you have analyzed your response to your tinnitus but your mind still gets back to listening to the sound. Are you asking your self the question over and over again ? =)

Silvine: Thanks for your rely.
"Tinnitus is actually harmless, it's the caring about it which gets you anxious and effects your quality of life.".
That sentence is really golden to hear. ill meditate over that today and see where it takes me.

Honesty, if i just find a way to be able to keep on working with music, then ill be grateful and be able to handle this fucking noise.

thanks to you both!!