New to This and Could Use Some Advice and Encouragement

[LovesToTeach]

Hi Everyone,
New here and I have to say, your stories give me so much hope - there is so much optimism here. Two weeks ago today, I woke up with jingle bells in my right ear. I'd been sick for a few days with a cold. It was annoying but I put up with it for a few days (especially with Christmas business, I could ignore it a bit). Then 5 days in, my left ear added to the T symphony with some high pitch ringing. Saw my GP last Monday who diagnosed Eustachian Tube Dysfunction after taking a brief glance into my ears. She prescribed Flonase and antihistamines... Nothing stronger since I'm 31 weeks pregnant. Last Friday, I woke up to a screeching, unbearable hiss in my left ear so I went to the walk-in for another opinion. That doc saw fluid in my ears and post-nasal drip, so I'm now also on Amoxicillin for 10 days. My GP told me this would go away but it would take time - but you know, two weeks in with no improvement and I'm seeing the writing on the wall. My sinuses are clear but my ears still hurt. However, the jingling and hissing are only getting louder.
My reaction to this new turn of events has been much less than ideal. I feel so robbed. And scared. I worry that when my daughter is born, I won't be able to snuggle with her in a quiet room without going crazy... That I won't be able to focus on her or even feel happy about anything ever again. I've lost so much sleep... Not eating much, and I'm an anxious, depressed mess. My husband is supportive, but says "Hang in there" like I'm just suffering through growing out a bad haircut. I'm so worried about the effect my emotions are having on my baby and am more worried that my life is over. Just when I should feel happiest. Could use any encouraging words from anyone out there tonight. Thanks.

 

[Ang]

Hi there !

I can totally relate to you 100%. I have felt every emotion you are. It is frustrating to explain to those who don't have it how horrible it is . I also got the " wow that must be annoying .... can you pass the salt " people just dont understand how it impacts your life. Have you tried any white noise to help you sleep? Babies love white noise.... Mine has her own made specially for children so I snuggle her in comfort ! I can tell you it will get better... Maybe not the tinnitus but how your mind finds a way to ignore it . I promise. I can relate to your every word .

 

[LovesToTeach]

Thank you so very much for your reply, @Ang. It's so comforting to know that other people feel this way too, because it does feel like I am alone in this and going crazy! Curiously enough, white noise seems to amplify and aggravate my tinnitus right now - I noticed that last night when our furnace quieted, so did the sounds. So weird! But I will look into a white noise machine. I can't imagine sitting and nursing in silence with this crazy ringing! I cannot wait for habituation. I want to function again!!!

 

[Carlos1]

Thank you so very much for your reply, @Ang. It's so comforting to know that other people feel this way too, because it does feel like I am alone in this and going crazy! Curiously enough, white noise seems to amplify and aggravate my tinnitus right now - I noticed that last night when our furnace quieted, so did the sounds. So weird! But I will look into a white noise machine. I can't imagine sitting and nursing in silence with this crazy ringing! I cannot wait for habituation. I want to function again!!!

There are masking apps on smart phones that you can use....I often play nature sounds like crickets at nite to help me sleep and play birds during the day....Check it out it really helps
God Bless and good luck with your baby

 

[LovesToTeach]

Thanks @Carlos1. I've found that listening to rain noises on my phone does help at times.

 

[jessicabee]

At night, I personally find the sound of rain very helpful, or I play very relaxing classical music.

I also practice a relaxation technique: lying in the most comfortable position possible (for me, this is on my front with my arms by my side, some prefer a recovery position), I then direct ALL of my attention to the very tip of my toes and allow a wave of heaviness and relaxation to very slowly move through my toes, feet, ankles, calves, knees until I am completely weightless, by this point, I am usually fast asleep, or certainly on my way to being!

I was taught this technique when I was suffering very badly with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder with OCD and hypochondria).

Give that a try and let me know how you get on, you're not alone.

 

[LovesToTeach]

@jessicabee I have GAD as well. Thank you for the technique tip! I will try it tonight. I also have an acupuncture appointment tonight - it's been so helpful with relaxation in the past, so I'm hoping that it will help. With all the googling this T has caused me to do - I wonder sometimes if I don't have hypochondria as well

 

[jessicabee]

Google is your best friend and your worst enemy, I speak from a mountain of experience with this. My hypochondria and anxiety was so bad a few years ago that I'd spend hours googling symptoms, visited A&E on several occasions, became a total recluse, lost my passion for creativity (I'm a graphic designer) and my relationship suffered. I did get a lot better and still am, it's because of this improvement that I have hope for my habituation to T.

In the case of T, if it hadn't of been for google, I wouldn't have been able to gain as thorough an understanding as I have about T. But it also brings up some truly awful stories where in many cases people haven't been given the treatment, support they need or had the condition properly explained to them. It's easy to focus on these experiences, but I think it's important to remember that T is different for everyone and there are millions of us dealing with it on a daily basis.

It's early days, but I'm hopeful for both of us.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.

 

[LovesToTeach]

I understand this so much. Especially during pregnancy, I've been convinced that I have any number of ailments thanks to GAD and Google. So far for me, this forum has been about the only helpful thing I've found regarding T. All the medical sites say to learn to live with it, and frankly that sounds so depressing right now! It helps so much more to see that people can continue to work/live/thrive with this.

I have tried to ban myself from Google, but it's so hard not to speculate about the worst case scenario all the time. Your hope gives me hope! I truly appreciate you and your words.