New Tones Keep Adding and I'm More Than Desperate

[dipp]

So my T keeps getting worse. I have got new sounds in both ears and the volume keeps getting up.

I was habituating quite well and then T strikes again. I hear it now in places I didn´t hear it before. The list of places where I don´t notice it it´s getting smaller and smaller everyday. I don´t know what to do anymore.

The last weeks I was improving my state of mind. I was going out for walks, doing CBT, hanging with some friends to play board games, and sleeping a bit better and trying to be more positive about my life. But then T attacks and I don´t know how long can I stand like this. I´m having a lot of dark thoughts, I want some relief and it seems like there´s only one way to achieve it.

Some hours ago I was watching Netflix (Broadchurch) and the loud hissing in both ears and a pure tone in the right was all I was paying attention to. I tried hard to concentrate but I couldn´t. In silence, it´s worse. I have lost the count of how many sounds I can hear. Horrible.

I´m not even anxious. I´m not in the flight or fight response stage. I´m just depressed and worried about how much more is it going to get worse.

On top of this, my girlfriend has spoken to me and she´s tired about all this situation. She can´t stand seeing me putting my hand in my ears when a loud sound occurs. She´s overwhelmed because she knows that I think 100% of the time about T. I think she´s going to leave me in a short time, and I don´t blame her. To live with someone with this problem is a life of misery.

So, I´m in a really low place and I don´t know how I´m going to get out of this. Thinking about if I´m going to endure this for 50+ years and for what reason I would do that.

 

[glynis]

Hi @dipp,
Have a chat with your doctor on how you are feeling and how your tinnitus keeps changing adding new sounds and effecting every day....

Nortryptaline or Amitryptaline can help tinnitus for some people.
They are antidepresants but at a low dose might help you...
Worth talking to your doctor ......lots of love glynis

 

[dipp]

Thanks a lot as always Glynis. You are a very supportive person, you deserve the best in life.

I don't know if taking ADs would be worth for me because I know how I am and I'm going to be thinking that I'm getting worse because of the ADs and in that case I would be angry with myself for making things worse, as taking them has some risks as as we all know... but living suffering like this has some risks too, so I don't know what to do about that...

 

[Björn]

My t got worsened by ad:s, ssri, so I wouldnt recommend it, depression is definitly one side of the problem, but the good part of the story is that depression Will pass, you just have to do time, find ways to survive all these miserable days and nights, talk to supportive people, try therapy, and do the small things you enjoy. Never compare yourself to other people and never try to be "normal", this tinnitus thing is some extreme stuff to handle, and there is acually no easy way forward, but at least there is a way forward. I have been suicidal because of this hell, but you have to understand that depression is a big part of all this mess. Regarding your girlfriend, you should aim higher, its not you, its her. You need to be with supportive people right now. what would you do if the situation was the other way arround, would you be hard on her if she was going trought this nightmare? hard times shows who you can trust, and in the long run, its actually a good thing, you learn how to find the best people!

 

[Paul10]

Hey dipp, I know how you feel, I have changing T and have a new tone to deal with. Keep positive and remember that you'd rather be happy and have T than be miserable and not have it, and you won't be at your worst forever. I also know how you feel about ADs and thoughts. I was given an antidepressant by my GP which doesn't have T listed as a side effect. I don't have the name on me now but shoot me a private message and I'll be sure to get the name for you later. Keep positive!

 

[dipp]

My t got worsened by ad:s, ssri, so I wouldnt recommend it, depression is definitly one side of the problem, but the good part of the story is that depression Will pass, you just have to do time, find ways to survive all these miserable days and nights, talk to supportive people, try therapy, and do the small things you enjoy. Never compare yourself to other people and never try to be "normal", this tinnitus thing is some extreme stuff to handle, and there is acually no easy way forward, but at least there is a way forward. I have been suicidal because of this hell, but you have to understand that depression is a big part of all this mess. Regarding your girlfriend, you should aim higher, its not you, its her. You need to be with supportive people right now. what would you do if the situation was the other way arround, would you be hard on her if she was going trought this nightmare? hard times shows who you can trust, and in the long run, its actually a good thing, you learn how to find the best people!

Yes, I think I'll try to avoid ADs as much as I can.

Definitely you're right in not comparing ourselves with other people. It's a thing which I think a lot about. Comparing myself with normal happy people or comparing myself with my pre-T me. And it hurts a lot when I do it.

Regarding my gf,it's not that easy. If it was the other way round I know I would be more supportive, but there's a lot more in the equation. One thing is that we weren't in our best times even before my T. And this add a lot more of stress and some nasty situations. Seeing someone you love stressed and hypervigilant about everything is not pleasant and can cause a reject feeling. The other thing is that a person that doesn't have T simply can't understand this hell we live everyday. It's invisible so people can't see it. And it doesn't help when she knows people with mild T that habituated very fast (so did I, when my T was mild for the first 8 months I didn't even consider it as a problem!...) She thinks this is simply an "annoying" thing. I wish it was! But I think it's nearly impossible to understand what is this without having it, no matter how accurate our descriptions are.
So on one hand, I understand totally how she feels, but in the other hand it's sad when someone doesn't acknowledge other people's struggle and suffering.

 

[dipp]

Hey dipp, I know how you feel, I have changing T and have a new tone to deal with. Keep positive and remember that you'd rather be happy and have T than be miserable and not have it, and you won't be at your worst forever. I also know how you feel about ADs and thoughts. I was given an antidepressant by my GP which doesn't have T listed as a side effect. I don't have the name on me now but shoot me a private message and I'll be sure to get the name for you later. Keep positive!

Thanks a lot Paul. I try my best to be positive about the condition. But I feel devastated when it keeps getting worse and worse. I feel that I have no control and that it doesn't matter what I do, the T seems commited to ruin my life.

 

[Paul10]

Thanks a lot Paul. I try my best to be positive about the condition. But I feel devastated when it keeps getting worse and worse. I feel that I have no control and that it doesn't matter what I do, the T seems commited to ruin my life

I tried sending you a private message but your security setting won't allow people to message you; you can change the settings in your preferences. I can't tell you how much I relate to what you are saying; but remember, there IS help out there (it took a bit of digging but I found it in my area) and it DOES get better.

 

[glynis]

@dipp,
You might find audiology helpful with White noise generators and some counselling sessions if you don't want to go down the medication route...stay positive ....lots of love glynis

 

[dipp]

I tried sending you a private message but your security setting won't allow people to message you; you can change the settings in your preferences. I can't tell you how much I relate to what you are saying; but remember, there IS help out there (it took a bit of digging but I found it in my area) and it DOES get better.

It seems that I can't do it ok my phone. I'll try on Monday when I have access to my computer. Thanks a lot for the interest.

 

[dipp]

@dipp,
You might find audiology helpful with White noise generators and some counselling sessions if you don't want to go down the medication route...stay positive ....lots of love glynis

Do you have experience with white noise generators? I have asked about them but my audiologist doesn't recommend it given that I don't have apparent hearing loss.

 

[glynis]

Yes I have two and they helped me adapt to my tinnitus.
You set them just below your tinnitus and helps your brain focus on the lower masker sound and help your brains natural filter to ignnore your tinnitus sound over time...

I have hearing aids with a white noise setting also....lots of love glynis

 

[dipp]

Yes I have two and they helped me adapt to my tinnitus.
You set them just below your tinnitus and helps your brain focus on the lower masker sound and help your brains natural filter to ignnore your tinnitus sound over time...

I have hearing aids with a white noise setting also....lots of love glynis

Do you know why some audiologysts doesn't recommend them? Have them any risk of inducing hearing loss due to the constant noise?

 

[glynis]

They are fine to use ,
They are not a cure but help you through a difficult time adjusting by putting another sound in your ear that is easier to cope with till you adapt and can cope without them.....lots of love glynis

 

[Scared111]

Do you know why some audiologysts doesn't recommend them? Have them any risk of inducing hearing loss due to the constant noise?

my audiologist doesn't recommend then either. he says you are just replacing one annoying noise with another. He has bad tinnitus and hearing loss himself. He says you just need to get use to it. Easier said that done though...

 

[Paul10]

For what it's worth, my T specialist also does not recommend maskers but white noise isn't just used for masking. But masking does work greatly for some; it's all about individual case and should be talked over with a T specialist

 

[glynis]

In the UK Masking tinnitus with White noise generators and CBT and TRT and duel purpose hearing aids if have hearing loss are the best treatment for tinnitus if you have had tinnitus a few months and not been able adjust to your tinnitus yourself .
Medications and talking therapy and exercise and relaxation can help and sleeping and eating well.

For some people tinnitus can be real mental torture and debilitating and impacts on every waking minute and sleep loss and for some people suicidal and emotionally distressed and for this reason White noise generators or duel purpose hearing aids can be a great help as they were to me.

We have the NHS and lucky to have the options from audiology to try them out if they feel they will benifit us.

I know for people around the world accsess to audiology might be ok but insurance not cover white noise generators or duel purpose hearing aids.

I asked Prof David Baguley, the world renowned tinnitus expert well known tinnitus specialist ( photo above ) if people had no way of getting white noise generators as they can be expensive could they use a device and earphones playing white ,pink or brown or purple noise at the lowest setting or natural sounds as their only relief if desperate and he said that would be ok.
I would still air on the side of caution though as for some people earphones and head phones can irritate their ears and cause tinnitus or spike tinnitus .
......lots of love glynis

 

[hopeforme]

I like to watch real stories on YouTube and this just popped up. Her part 1 is also on there.

Idk why she keeps calling them electronic attacks though.

 

[Paul10]

I have 3 white noise generating ear pieces. Cool since they're free where I live, but since I'm multi-tonal it doesn't do much aside from help me avoid my old friend silence, which is like walking into a screaming dungeon nowadays. I do miss silence; I never realised how much I liked him until he left! He'll come back some day soon

 

[hopeforme]

I have 3 white noise generating ear pieces. Cool since they're free where I live, but since I'm multi-tonal it doesn't do much aside from help me avoid my old friend silence, which is like walking into a screaming dungeon nowadays. I do miss silence; I never realised how much I liked him until he left! He'll come back some day soon

I have 3 white noise generating ear pieces. Cool since they're free where I live, but since I'm multi-tonal it doesn't do much aside from help me avoid my old friend silence, which is like walking into a screaming dungeon nowadays. I do miss silence; I never realised how much I liked him until he left! He'll come back some day soon

Lucky.

I paid $200 for an MRI and $100 for two visits to an ENT doc to tell me nothing is wrong..then booted me out so she could see her next patient. Ill probably pay full price for the generators if I ever consider one. For now I'm dealing with the mosquito buzzing in my right ear and dog whistle in my left.