Hi everyone,
First time poster, just not feeling too great about what has happened to me over the weekend.
I'll try and cut a long story short here
I'm a 26 year old male, work full time, live alone and studying a masters degree by distance. Between the ages of 14-20, I played on and off in a rock band (I play guitar). Over the years I probably played 80-100 gigs, as well as many many practice sessions.
Obviously, anyone who has attended a live concert knows how loud live bands can be. Around a year ago, I was asked to join another band, and have played a few gigs with them. We practice once a week and I've probably done 12 gigs or so with them over the year.
This weekend we had two gigs. Both were exceptionally loud. Not from my guitar, might I add, but as stages are cramped I was stood really close to the drum kit. When playing on Saturday night, I just felt that the cymbals were really too loud in my ears. I didn't experience any pain or anything, but you know when something just seems too loud for comfort.
We usually play for around 45 minutes, have a 20 minute break and then another 45 minutes. After most gigs, my ears are a bit 'dull' and they usually ring. I always notice the ringing when I get home to bed.
Usually , however, the ringing has gone by the next day.
This time, 3 days later, it's still here.
To be honest, I woke up Sunday morning and didn't notice it. I laid in bed, watched a bit of TV and worked out and never noticed it. Later in the afternoon, my parents visited, we watched TV and I briefly noticed it again as I went upstairs to grab something.
I didn't think too much about it until I went to bed, when I heard the ringing again. I just thought maybe my ears are taking a little longer to recover as we had played twice that weekend and we had been a little louder than usual. Monday, however, was the same. And today, much the same.
The volume has come down a bit. It isn't the same as straight after the gig.
To be honest, I will sound like a real moaner here... and I appreciate that some people have it much much worse than me, and of course, that essentially it is my own fault for not protecting my ears.
When I'm out and about, at work, or in the supermarket, or at home with the TV on or whatever, I can't hear it. If I put my fingers in my ears when I'm at work, I will hear it depending on how loud my surroundings are. I listened to some white noise things on the web, and that seemed to mask the noise... in fact, after I'd turned it off, I struggled to hear the ringing again for a minute or two. I thought I was cured! But it came back. Lat night, I was sitting in the living room, and I thought I couldn't hear the humming. I thought maybe, finally, it had gone. I could still hear the weird white noise, but I thought that was because it was really quiet and your ears make noises when it is quiet anyway... but then I heard it again and I couldn't not hear it again.
What is worrying me is going to bed at night and when I am alone at home. Worrying, to the point where I genuinely feel sick. When I woke up this morning, I was shattered. The room was quiet and the ringing was loud. Not just a high pitched hum, but also like a washing white noise sound. I was in total despair, I almost made myself sick.
To be honest, this is the last thing I need. Since I was 20 I have suffered with a form of OCD. I do obsess about things, to the point where I am absolutely convinced. I have been convinced I've had HIV before, convinced I was going to need heart surgery after a cardiologist told me they heard a murmur. You name it, I've obsessed.
But obviously, Tinnitus isn't imaginary and it is there, and clearly I've damaged my ears.
I have a lot weight on my shoulders. I've struggled with sleep due to depression for years, and I have INCREDIBLY vivid dreams. I wake up shattered most days. I work full time, I'm studying in my spare time. I've got a mortgage to pay and bills of course. How am I meant to concentrate with this? How can I get to work if I can't sleep...
I had just gotten to a point where I was relatively comfortable. I had gotten into a routine, and now this. I am fixating on it, but it has sent me into a real, real spin.
Can people relate? Will this anxiety fade?
The thought of going home alone and going to bed and listening to that honestly turns my stomach, I'm dreading it tonight. And I know there isn't anything I can really do. I keep thinking it wouldn't be so bad if I lived with someone, because Id have a bit of a distraction, but I live alone...
Like I said, we played on Saturday night and it's now Tuesday evening. I'm assuming that if it was to go, it would have gone by now... so I'm trying to accept that it's going to be here forever.
Sorry for the long post... just scared to be honest.
First time poster, just not feeling too great about what has happened to me over the weekend.
I'll try and cut a long story short here
I'm a 26 year old male, work full time, live alone and studying a masters degree by distance. Between the ages of 14-20, I played on and off in a rock band (I play guitar). Over the years I probably played 80-100 gigs, as well as many many practice sessions.
Obviously, anyone who has attended a live concert knows how loud live bands can be. Around a year ago, I was asked to join another band, and have played a few gigs with them. We practice once a week and I've probably done 12 gigs or so with them over the year.
This weekend we had two gigs. Both were exceptionally loud. Not from my guitar, might I add, but as stages are cramped I was stood really close to the drum kit. When playing on Saturday night, I just felt that the cymbals were really too loud in my ears. I didn't experience any pain or anything, but you know when something just seems too loud for comfort.
We usually play for around 45 minutes, have a 20 minute break and then another 45 minutes. After most gigs, my ears are a bit 'dull' and they usually ring. I always notice the ringing when I get home to bed.
Usually , however, the ringing has gone by the next day.
This time, 3 days later, it's still here.
To be honest, I woke up Sunday morning and didn't notice it. I laid in bed, watched a bit of TV and worked out and never noticed it. Later in the afternoon, my parents visited, we watched TV and I briefly noticed it again as I went upstairs to grab something.
I didn't think too much about it until I went to bed, when I heard the ringing again. I just thought maybe my ears are taking a little longer to recover as we had played twice that weekend and we had been a little louder than usual. Monday, however, was the same. And today, much the same.
The volume has come down a bit. It isn't the same as straight after the gig.
To be honest, I will sound like a real moaner here... and I appreciate that some people have it much much worse than me, and of course, that essentially it is my own fault for not protecting my ears.
When I'm out and about, at work, or in the supermarket, or at home with the TV on or whatever, I can't hear it. If I put my fingers in my ears when I'm at work, I will hear it depending on how loud my surroundings are. I listened to some white noise things on the web, and that seemed to mask the noise... in fact, after I'd turned it off, I struggled to hear the ringing again for a minute or two. I thought I was cured! But it came back. Lat night, I was sitting in the living room, and I thought I couldn't hear the humming. I thought maybe, finally, it had gone. I could still hear the weird white noise, but I thought that was because it was really quiet and your ears make noises when it is quiet anyway... but then I heard it again and I couldn't not hear it again.
What is worrying me is going to bed at night and when I am alone at home. Worrying, to the point where I genuinely feel sick. When I woke up this morning, I was shattered. The room was quiet and the ringing was loud. Not just a high pitched hum, but also like a washing white noise sound. I was in total despair, I almost made myself sick.
To be honest, this is the last thing I need. Since I was 20 I have suffered with a form of OCD. I do obsess about things, to the point where I am absolutely convinced. I have been convinced I've had HIV before, convinced I was going to need heart surgery after a cardiologist told me they heard a murmur. You name it, I've obsessed.
But obviously, Tinnitus isn't imaginary and it is there, and clearly I've damaged my ears.
I have a lot weight on my shoulders. I've struggled with sleep due to depression for years, and I have INCREDIBLY vivid dreams. I wake up shattered most days. I work full time, I'm studying in my spare time. I've got a mortgage to pay and bills of course. How am I meant to concentrate with this? How can I get to work if I can't sleep...
I had just gotten to a point where I was relatively comfortable. I had gotten into a routine, and now this. I am fixating on it, but it has sent me into a real, real spin.
Can people relate? Will this anxiety fade?
The thought of going home alone and going to bed and listening to that honestly turns my stomach, I'm dreading it tonight. And I know there isn't anything I can really do. I keep thinking it wouldn't be so bad if I lived with someone, because Id have a bit of a distraction, but I live alone...
Like I said, we played on Saturday night and it's now Tuesday evening. I'm assuming that if it was to go, it would have gone by now... so I'm trying to accept that it's going to be here forever.
Sorry for the long post... just scared to be honest.
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