I am not ashamed of my tinnitus, but my disclosure is on a "need to know basis". With such a disability, I can easily be categorized as "broken goods" and limit my chances when I apply for a job or seek a business partnership.
Even among the people who know I have tinnitus, only a very small amount of people know how devastating it is on my life. I downplay it to the rest, sometimes for reasons as stated above, sometimes to minimize their worry (my parents for example).
If anything I'd say people are sick of hearing me talk about it, but I always warn people when I think it's pertinent.
Difficult decision for me to make - professionally - where and when to mention it on gigs.
I rely on the fact that they know I am an intuitive jazzer, who knows how to make a musical contribution, to outweigh any nuisance value.
If they can take it, fair enough; if not, I'll play with others capable of considering what I feeel.
But if we hide it then how will the world ever learn/know about it?
Believe me Ed - I never hide it.
Sometimes I give 'em both barrels!
Never feel shame.
I think it's also really difficult to support research when it comes to tinnitus. Which organization should you support? One that is focused on curing hearing loss? Or epilepsy? Or hyperacusis? Maybe the British Tinnitus Association or the American one?
Tinnitus can also come with a lot of shame and guilt. Many people don't talk about it. Did anyone share on facebook that they developed tinnitus to warn others? Did you talk about #tinnitusweek? Did you tell your friends, family or co-workers that you developed tinnitus?
Raising awareness is difficult because when it comes to tinnitus it usually only reaches and is being shared by those who already know about it.
I'm donating money, I'm trying to raise awareness on twitter, I'm reaching out to people who are struggling, I'm thinking about creating a support group in my town (though I'd probably not be able to attend), I told my friends about my tinnitus but they don't take it seriously. People simply don't care about tinnitus until they get it and then most of them habituate and might perpetuate intentionally or unintentionally the idea that it's is no big deal.
I've seen people trying to raise money for the BTA on twitter but tinnitus is just not seen as a serious condition by those unaffected by it. It doesn't kill anyone, how bad can it be?
Great post Ed - with you all the way.
I said to one successful bandleader, after the first set of a three hour gig (yes I was well plugged up)
"Either the volume comes down right now,
or I walk out of here, and you don't ever phone me again!"
We got it right!
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I can understand that Greg, but then is it no surprise that tinnitus is not taken seriously?
I honestly believe that people will only see you as damaged goods if you see yourself in that way.
If you can still perform your job then it should make no difference;
I suppose it's the same as the depression debate. Nobody tells anyone about that either because of the stigma, but for the past few years, our government (UK) has spent millions trying to break it. We have TV adverts, radio adverts, posters, and multiple celebrities queuing up to talk about it.
Never feel shame.
@Ed209
Here's a clip taken from a 'telephone - ad hock' session.
I appear to be giving it some 'welly.'
(Don't sit in the front row!)
I have the exact same problem, so I'm donating here and there just hoping that it might make a difference...Exactly my problem! I want to donate to research, I REALLY DO! BUT I don't know where to put my money, because I want to make sure it goes to actual research and not CBT, TRT ect, so where should I put my money?? the possibilities are many, and I feel confused.
But still great that you shared those articles! Maybe someone will develop tinnitus and think back to one of your posts. Yeah, I told friends when I developed tinnitus and how severe it is but the reactions I got were very hurtful. I've heard everything from "Oh my god, I'd go crazy! / I'd kill myself!" to "How the hell did you do that? (meaning what did I do to develop it, I think some people really don't know that they're just one more concert/night out away from developing tinnitus themselves). Also told friends to wear earplugs at concerts and they simply said "I won't develop tinnitus / I'm not like you" and the fact that they haven't gotten tinnitus just proves to them that I must have done something extraordinary to develop it or that it's rather a mental health issue.I did not get one like on my shared articles, NOT A SINGLE ONE.....Like you say: people just don't care unless they have tinnitus themselves
Agree with you, I'd like to have more faith in humanity but my own experiences weren't quite what I had hoped for. Today was the first time I met a compassionate doctor who was understanding of my struggle with tinnitus and hyperacusis (I had t for over four years), it was a dentist who has mild hyperacusis himself. But friends, doctors, other people at college... they just looked at me like I'm contagious and crazy when I mentioned I had chronic tinnitus.I think you have more faith in humanity than I do, especially when it comes to work. I'm certainly more cynical.
Wow, amazing musician you are!I appear to be giving it some 'welly.'
@Sonic17 - thank you so much.
I'll just mention, after a dreadfully lonely infancy/childhood I was so troubled that I couldn't retain much learning for exams etc...
I had been academically crippled by isolation and depression.
I was desperately trying to hold myself together, to survive the moment I was living in.
Then one day the Salvation Army loaned me a cornet.....and guess what.....I could play anything that came into my head.
The other kids said "but how do you know what to do? How do you know which 'buttons' to press?"
I just did somehow know what to do.
From a position of feeling totally useless, I was forced to admit that I could actually
Do Something. "WOW!"
I've been doing it ever since.
I'm a bit self conscious about putting clips up here.
It's a bit like "blowing your own trombone!"
Dave xx
Hey Folks - @Zug s a regular 'boffin!'
University professor, and all that.
Wow - he's gotta be the real deal.
How do you manage to put up with us lot?
What was your subject, by the way Zug?
Zug was a professor in how to be a legend
Business. Not THAT much funHey Folks - @Zug s a regular 'boffin!'
University professor, and all that.
Wow - he's gotta be the real deal.
How do you manage to put up with us lot?
What was your subject, by the way Zug?
Aww, that is sad. You have done so well for yourself!I had been academically crippled by isolation and depression.
Go ahead, we love the clips. I have always loved music, but since having T I love jazz so much more. Somehow the brass instruments blend with my T, and the tempo is so relaxing.I'm a bit self conscious about putting clips up here.
yes an mp3 would be a much better option and save the NHS millionsI could buy a £10 MP3 player and get better masking relief from that. So for me what really disappointing about the NHS is, the only little relief that I could get from my Tinnitus they cannot supply that!
What annoys me about the NHS treatment I received is the hearing aid with the inbuilt hearing aid is not fit for purpose.
The hearing aid works fine but the masking device is useless and offers no relief. I have been back several times to have it reprogrammed and its just not capable of reproducing my Tinnitus. My T isn't a complicated sound, the sound of running water masks it great.
I could buy a £10 MP3 player and get better masking relief from that. So for me what really disappointing about the NHS is, the only little relief that I could get from my Tinnitus they cannot supply that!
I have mentioned several times at appointments that I need a hearing device that is capable of playing MP3s and the reply has been that they do not issue that type.
So maybe the money should go to research as they clearly do not understand the condition at the moment or treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
Simon
We are paying for NHS, can we not have a say on how the money is spent?I think we need to be grateful for whatever we can get
We are paying for NHS, can we not have a say on how the money is spent?
I think we need to be grateful for whatever we can get. I wasn't offered anything at all, but I wouldn't expect them to give me top quality hearing aids either. You can always buy the hearing aids you want if you want to go down that route. The NHS at the moment is extremely fragile as highlighted by the BBC documentary series 'hospital'. People are having life changing surgeries cancelled, multiple times, to the absolute annoyance of the consultants whose hands are tied. They are powerless to change the situation and it's not their fault.
I have many students who are NHS consultants and they frequently tell me how dire the situation is. I've been told that each year they break their own records on admissions and waiting times. In January I had to rearrange quite a few appointments because they all had an emergency mandate to go into the hospital and help clear the backlog. Apparently our local hospital was one of the only ones in the area that hadn't closed it's doors. The whole system is at breaking point and it's only going to get worse.
I can buy my own hearing aid - No shit sherlock